The Dead of Winter (Seasons of Jefferson: Book 2)

by Julie Solano

  “Not a chance.”

  I watch Jessie May scoop Tangles from the ground, as they make their way down Mount Shasta Boulevard. I’m unsettled, as I shove my phone back in my pocket, and collect our prize. I wonder what’s wrong with her. Must be something awful. She’s too tough to break down like that for no reason.

  I follow behind for a few moments, just to make sure she’s okay. I can still feel her warmth on my hands. I can still smell the scent of her perfume. Damn. That perfume. Vanilla, my favorite. It must have rubbed off on my jacket while I was twirling her around. I roll my head down to smell my collar, when my eyes catch a shiny piece of silver, glinting under the streetlight. There on my lapel, I notice a little sterling silver spur, dangling by a metal hook. I pull it from my jacket, hold it up to the light, and inspect it. It’s an earring. Engraved inside are what looks to be initials. AGB. A? Avery? It’s her earring. A piece of her.

  I should run and catch up. Give it to her. But I can’t. Something stops me. I don’t know why, but it’s comforting to hold this little piece of her in my hand. I stop right there. Right in front of the railroad tracks. The whistle blows as the train begins to move between us. I move left and right, trying to watch the tail lights through the blurring boxcars. It’s too hard. The extra bows, bells, and garland, decorating the mock Polar Express, block her from my view. I look down at the earring, then back up through the passing train. It’s too late to see her again tonight. But there’s no way in hell I’m passing up a chance to see her again. I’ve got to give this back to her, after all. I shove the earring in my pocket, right next to my phone. It’s time to go home and celebrate Christmas with the family. The way it should be celebrated.

  “GET UP, SLEEPY HEAD!”

  Here we go again. Every year for the past seventeen years, I’ve been woken up the same way on Christmas morning. Bounce. Bounce. Bounce. Bounce. “Enough already, T! Aren’t you ever going to outgrow this stage?”

  “But Santa came, and we have awesome stockings sitting out by the fireplace!” She grabs my t-shirt and pulls me back and forth, until I’m swaying like a ship in a storm. “And I have the biggest present under the tree, and you don’t!” she giggles. “Come.” Tug. “On!”

  Ugh. It’s the first time I can remember sleeping through the night without one of those damn nightmares, and I have to be woken like this? I flip the covers off and roll out of bed. “Okay, show me,” I groan, shuffling my way down the hallway. “Wait, I have to pee.”

  “Make it quick. I really want to see what’s in that box!”

  I can’t handle all the Christmas cheer so early in the morning. She needs to take it down a notch. Just to mess with her, I take a little longer than I need to. I can picture her standing with her back to the wall as I listen to her hand slapping against it. She keeps groaning, “Come on! Hurrrrry up.”

  I throw in a few extra grunts for dramatic effect.

  “What are you doing in there? You hiding a new girl or something?”

  “Wouldn’t you like to know?” I joke through the bathroom wall.

  A new girl? Yeah, right. As usual, brown curls, mocha skin, and a button nose, flash through my mind. A rush of excitement hits me. She’s been popping into my thoughts so much since the snow park. I can’t get over how cute she is. Her smell. Her spunk. And, after last night, I’m practically sick from not being able to shake her from my mind. But, new girl? I don’t know about that. She doesn’t seem too interested. I flush the toilet. “Be right there.”

  Why do I suddenly wish I knew more about her? I turn on the hot water and pump the soap into my hands. Bubbles. Just like her personality.

  “Caaaa-den! Come on!”

  This soap smells like vanilla. Just like Tangles. We need to go to Bath and Body to get some more of this stuff. Bath and Body? How do I even know about that store? Damn, I’m turning into a girl. The warm water continues to run, as I inspect my face in the mirror. Not bad growth for one day. Yep, I’m still a man. I dry my hands on the snowman hand towel. Snow? I wonder where she lives. Must be somewhere in the South County. That’s where I keep seeing her. Damn! Why can’t she live closer? At least then I’d be able to accidentally run into her around town.

  A sudden thought occurs to me. I should text Tangles. I don’t want her to forget about me. Besides, I should really check on her. Mmmm, should I? I don’t want her to think I’m desperate. Yes, I’m going to text her. Adrenaline spikes through my stomach at the thought. What the hell is happening to me? Are those butterflies? I’m seriously getting butterflies thinking about her? Shit.

  “Caaaaaadddddeeeen! Fine, I’m just going to start without you.” I hear T’s footsteps walk away.

  How can I get away with texting her without looking too obvious? Maybe I can send a group text about the tickets.

  I hear heavy footsteps approach the door. “Caden. Stop messing with your sister and get out here.” It’s my dad, and he sounds serious. “Now!”

  How can I get him to back off and stay out of trouble? I decide to play the bathroom emergency card. “Coming, Dad. Sorry. I don’t know what I ate last night.”

  “Take your time, son.” I hear him through the door telling my sister to give me some space.

  I decide to hold off on the text and try to hurry through the present thing. When I get out to the front room, there’s a mountain of gifts waiting for us. I know the only way we’re getting through this at a decent pace is if I play Santa. I’m a genius. I spring my idea on the family. “I’ll play Santa this year. Do you guys mind?”

  After waiting for so long to get me out of the bathroom, my sister looks surprised. Her eyes close in on me, obviously questioning my motives. On the other hand, my mom looks ecstatic. “Aww, you found your Christmas spirit!” She claps her hands together and grins. “I can’t wait for you to see what we got you.”

  Me either. I want to get through this and see if I can’t start up a little conversation with Tangles. “Okay, let’s dig in.” I sit down next to the tree. “Here’s one for you, T. Oh and you mom. Dad. Here you go. And another one. Oh, and another one.” I begin tossing the gifts across the room.

  My parents’ eyes are spinning as they watch gifts streak across the living room. “Slow down, son. We can’t keep up.”

  We’re almost through, there’s no way I’m slowing down now. “It’s okay, guys. The sooner we get them open, the longer we get to use them.” I toss a few more presents out from under the tree.

  I open some cologne, socks, and video games. Overall, it’s been a pretty successful haul, but I wonder why my sister got a super big gift, and the biggest thing I got was a camo bean bag chair. My parents know I keep score, and usually they do a little bit better job with equal gift share. I shrug in disappointment, “Looks like it’s time for your big present, T.”

  “Is something bothering you, Caden?”

  I look at my parents, who are obviously delighting in my groveling reaction. I watch my mom look over at my dad and smirk. She thinks it’s funny that I have to look at a refrigerator sized box for my sister, while I’m holding socks.

  Kaitlyn climbs a step ladder and begins to unwrap her giant present. She looks up confused, pulling out a new comforter and bedding accessories. “This is awesome. Thanks Mom and Dad.” She jumps off the step ladder, and runs to give them a hug.

  “Get back up on that ladder, hon. There’s more stuff in there.”

  After peeling off the top layer, she opens a second box. “Camera! Woo hoo!”

  I look at the Cannon, she’s holding in her hand. The same one I’ve been asking for since sophomore year. What the heck? Did she get some of my stuff? My mom laughs as she watches my mouth drop. “Wait. Um?” I point at the camera.

  “It’ll be perfect for you to take to college, T.”

  “Oh, yeah. I didn’t even think about asking for this.”

  You’re kidding me. I continue to watch as she pulls out a mini-fridge, luggage, some girly stuff, a wireless printer, and finally a brand
new Macbook Pro.

  And I got underwear and video games? Wow. I have no words. I’m trying really hard to keep a happy face.

  “So how was your Christmas, kids?” My mom beams.

  I smile and nod, as Kaitlyn runs up and gives both my parents bear hugs. “It was the best Christmas ever! I’m all set for college! You guys are awesome! Thanks for everything.”

  I hold up my new Destiny game and try to act excited. “This is cool. How did you find it?” At the second hand store? “Can’t wait to play it again. It’s been a while. I think I was nine when this was popular.”

  “Caden, you sound very ungrateful. You’re going to hurt your mother’s feelings. She worked really hard to find you kids these gifts.”

  “Sorry, Mom.”

  My mom is snickering. She’s trying to hide it, but she’s not doing a very good job. “Oh honey, should we let him off the hook?”

  By now, both of my parents and Kaitlyn are roaring with laughter.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “Your face! You look like you just got underwear and socks, or something.”

  I hold them up. “Uh?”

  “Well, we couldn’t actually fit your big present inside the house this year.”

  Hmmm. Big present? My spirits begin to lift. “So, where is this big present you’re talking about?”

  “Outside. Are you ready to see it?”

  “What are we waiting for?” Yes! I got a big one too!

  When I step out into the blustery morning air, it doesn’t take me long to see the big red bow. It stands out against the enormous black Dodge diesel that’s parked out in the driveway. Holy crap, a 2500! I’ve been wanting this truck since fourth grade. I got the truck. Holy crap. My dream truck? I look up and down at the big gorgeous tires, the lifted frame, and the shiny black paint. This beauty is mine? Wait. It’s mine. That means I’m the one who drives it. Oh shit. I have to drive this monster.

  “Surprise!” Mom dangles the keys in front of me. “It’s all yours!”

  “A truck?” I’m shocked to see a brand new TRUCK waiting for me.

  “Do you want to test it out?”

  I look around at the snow on the ground. There are kids running around building snowmen. Our little neighbors, Danny and Megan, are running around with the Dancer kids, taking turns pulling each other on sleds.

  There are too many people out here. Too much snow. I can’t do this right now. I look over at Kaitlyn, who’s eyeing me suspiciously.

  “Yeah, sure I do! Right after I eat breakfast!”

  “Not even a quick drive?” My dad asks incredulously.

  I can hear I’m disappointing them, but I can’t handle the thought of crashing my brand new truck … or worse, running over one of these kids in the snow.

  “Sure, dad. I’m just starving right now. I ran around so much last night during the Dash, that I didn’t have time to eat dinner. I don’t want to faint while I’m in the driver’s seat.”

  Kaitlyn brushes past me, “Liar,” she whispers. “I’m telling.”

  Heat rushes into my face, at the thought of my sister ratting me out. How can I stop her? Act like you love it, Caden. Act like it’s the coolest thing you’ve ever seen.

  “I love it! It’s awesome!” I jump up and down hooting. Then, I run up to my mom, pick her up, and swing her around in circles.

  “Okay, son. Okay. Put me down. I’m getting dizzy,” she laughs.

  I know I’m overdoing it, but I can’t let them see that I’m scared to drive the truck.

  “You know what? I’m hungry too. I can smell the quiche from here.”

  Oh, thank God!

  “Let’s go eat, and we can all take it for a spin later. Dad. You can do the honors. I want you to be the first one to drive it.”

  Kaitlyn’s eyes close in on me. She shakes her head as we all walk back into the house for Christmas breakfast.

  WE CLAW OUR WAY INTO the kitchen, practically jumping over the top of each other to get to Mom’s famous quiche and delicious pastries. I’m first out of the kitchen with a full plate. Looking over my shoulder on the way out, I think to ask, “Do you guys mind if I eat in the family room? I want to play a little Destiny before the football game starts.”

  “It’s Christmas morning, son. We need to spend time together, as a family. It’s our last Christmas before you kids head off to college. How about we all eat together? Maybe we could join you in the living room? Besides, it’s warmer next to the fire.”

  “Sounds good to me,” Kaitlyn agrees. “I want to charge my new laptop in there, anyway.”

  Mom carries an extra tray of food and sets it down on the coffee table. We gather around and strike up a lively conversation about last night’s contest, and how disappointed Jenna’s going to be when she finds out I was on the winning team without her. As I take a bite into an extra crispy pastry, our topic shifts to Aunt Jeanne and how much we miss her amazing scones. Before she moved out to the valley, she used to sneak a gift box under our tree every year, so that when we opened our last gift, we’d have a breakfast treat waiting for us. Remembering the good ole days, I glance back toward the tree and spot what looks to be an unopened gift. “Hey, looks like we missed one.” I drop my remote and crawl toward the tree. Aunt Jeanne hasn’t been in town for a while now, so sadly, it can’t be from her.

  “It’s your fault, Santa. You were the one tossing the gifts at us so fast.”

  I pick up the small package. Who’s it for? I roll it around looking for a label, when I finally spot Kaitlyn’s and Jenna’s names written neatly in permanent marker. “It’s for you and Jenna.”

  “Seriously? Both of us? That’s weird. Who’s it from?”

  “Doesn’t say.”

  “Hmm. Let me see it.”

  I toss it to Kaitlyn. “You probably shouldn’t open it without Jenna.”

  “I know. I just want to see who it’s from.”

  I watch Kaitlyn roll the box around, looking closer at the cool pattern printed on the wrapping paper.

  “Oh, it’s right here. It says, ‘Love, P.’”

  “P?”

  “Well, if it’s for both of us, it must be from Peyton.”

  Peyton? I wonder if she left one for me too. “Do you see one for me?”

  I crawl around the floor, searching for the gift Peyton must’ve sent me. Nothing.

  My dad looks curiously at the gift, scratching the back of his head. “Oh, that’s all there was, Caden. It was out on the wicker chair this morning when I went out to feed the dog. I brought it inside after I found it. I wasn’t sure who it belonged to. Sorry, I forgot to tell you kids it was under there.”

  I feel the pain work its way up through my throat. I can’t help but feel disappointed. I can’t believe she’d give the girls a gift, and not me … her own boyfriend. Oh. That’s when I remember. I’m not her boyfriend anymore. I’m nothing to her. She’s nothing to me. This proves it. We really are done. Well, screw her. A sweet little face crosses my mind. One that’s been visiting me in almost every thought this week. There must be a reason for what happened. Maybe she’s it. Where’s my phone?

  I grab my phone and search for Tangles’s number. Got it. How should I start? Well, first, I’ve got to change the name Jessie May put in my contacts. I replace the name Avery with Tangles. Then I begin my first text.

  Me: Hey there, Tangles. It’s me, Caden.

  Na. That’s so cheesy. I erase my text and start over.

  Me: What’s up Tangles? Remember me?

  Ugh. This is harder than I thought. I erase it again. How am I going to do this without sounding desperate or cheesy?

  Me: Sup, girl?

  Damn. I’m seriously out of practice here. Erase.

  The doorbell rings, pulling me from my texting nightmare. “I’ll get it!” Kaitlyn yells as she bounces out of the chair and runs to the door. “Oh hi, Jenna. Let me help you with those.”

  When I look up, Jenna is carrying an armload of packages. “Brought you
guys some gifts.”

  “We have some for you over on the mantle too, but I’ve been waiting for you to open this one with me. I think it’s from Peyton!” Kaitlyn’s voice is full of excitement.

  “Peyton? Seriously? She got us a gift? I thought she blamed us for everything.”

  Kaitlyn shrugs her shoulders. “Well, she’s been in counseling. Maybe she’s had a breakthrough.”

  Glad she’s had some kind of a breakthrough. I look down so they can’t see my bitter reaction to their gift. It took long enough. My desperate attempts to help her flood my mind. All the calls. The texts. The visits. I tried so hard to be patient. To bring her back. In my mind, I watch the snow globe shattering against her wall. I put so much effort into that perfect gift.

  Her loss. I work to think of the only thing that’s been making me happy since the accident. Instantly, my mind goes back to my happy place. It’s her. Tangles. I’m moving on to someone a little more my style. Someone who keeps me on my toes. A hot and spicy country girl. I look back down at my phone, staring at the empty screen. Hmmm. What am I going to say to her? I hear paper ripping and look up.

  “This looks … interesting. What is it?” Kaitlyn holds up a funny looking doll. “It has my name written on it. I thought this gift was for both of us.”

  “I know what this is!” Jenna lights up. “It’s a nesting doll. I have a collection of them at home. My parents bought them for me as gifts from Russia. They give me a new one every year for my birthday. It looks just like one that I have at home. Look inside. They come in sets.”

  “When Kaitlyn cracks it open, a small slip of paper floats to the floor.”

  I crawl over and pick it up.

  “Oh, this one has your name on it.” Kaitlyn holds the smaller doll out to show Jenna her name scrawled in fancy script.

  “Here,” I hand them the torn piece of paper. “Looks like you dropped something.”

  Kaitlyn takes the tiny note and reads it. “Please accept this gift as my most sincere apology. Remember me when you wear them. You’ll always have a piece of my heart.”