by Julie Solano
Jenna begins shaking her head back and forth. I can tell she’s curious, but trying to play it cool. “Well, what picture is it?”
“Oh, the one in your swimsuit.” I don’t look up to see her face. I strap back in. “Race you to the bottom.” I hear her grunt as I swoosh past her. Got her good!
MY PHONE IS BURNING A hole in my pocket. I couldn’t text her back while we were at the lodge. Everyone was flicking me too much crap for checking my phone so often, and I didn’t want to invite any more questions. I want to keep this one to myself for a while. She’s too much fun to share.
When we pull up in front of my house, the first thing on my mind is replying to that, “Hi.” Hi … with a winkie face. Is she flirting? I don’t use winkers unless I’m flirting.
I stick my hand in my pocket, just to make sure my phone is still there, ready to go. “See you guys, later, huh?” I practically skip toward the door.
“Going to check your phone again, huh?” Brody jokes.
“Be careful with that one. She sounds a little feisty to me.”
“Don’t you worry about me, boys. I can handle my own.”
I don’t see my parents. They must still be at the Bailey’s. Yes! Time to text. I run through the door and jump on my bed. I open the text and inspect the messages. What? She didn’t message back on the group text. She started a new thread. Just to me. Interesting. A new wave of excitement overtakes me. Oh, the possibilities.
ME: Hi ;)
Smooth. I can’t go wrong with that. I wait a couple minutes. Maybe I waited too long. Dang it. I should’ve texted her while I was on the lift. My feet are frozen stiff. I decide to hop in the shower to thaw out. I decide to bring the phone in the bathroom with me. I lay it down next to the shower door, hoping I’ll soon hear the sweet chime of a text.
Oh, this feels good. The scalding, hot water runs over me, bringing life back into my toes and fingertips. So hot. Like her. There’s her face again. Thank you, God, for that face. Oh, stop it. Geez. Get out of my head. I slap at my cheeks, trying to knock some sense into myself. Guys don’t fixate on girls like this. Maybe I should go get one of those magazines. Give my mind something else to work with. Maybe my dad has one hiding under his mattress. I know he used to have one.
Ding.
I pop open the shower door, just wide enough to look at the screen.
TANGLES: I see you text just about as fast as you ski.
A smile spreads across my face. Ahh, there’s my girl. So, she has been waiting for me to text back. I hurry to rinse the rest of the soap out of my hair, pull a towel around my waist, and pick up the phone.
TANGLES: You take forever to respond you know. Are you using a dictionary to look up spellings or something? What are you doing?
She’s good. How do I answer her question and keep the banter rolling? Taking a shower doesn’t seem like a fun enough answer. I know I’ve got to throw her off game to keep her interested. Something tells me I can’t let this one get bored. Let’s see what kind of tricks I have up my sleeve. I think really hard about my next text. Finally it comes to me.
ME: You really want to know?
TANGLES: I never ask a question I don’t want to know the answer to.
I reach out and take a selfie. Not a good enough angle. I decide to take another one. I have to highlight my pecs. I flex my chest, make sure I have a few water droplets showing. Oh yeah. There we go. Snap. Perfect. I hit send.
Five seconds later, another text comes across the screen.
TANGLES: Awww, how cute. I didn’t know you had a LITTLE brother. ;)~
ME: Ouch.
TANGLES: I’m just playin’ with you. You look kinda hot.
Yes!
ME: You think so?
TANGLES: Yeah, like really hot. Is that sweat? Are you working out?
Oh, hot. She likes to play with her words, doesn’t she?
ME: Nope. Just got out of the shower. What’re you up to?
TANGLES: Do you really want to know?
ME: Yeah, and don’t tell me. Show me.
TANGLES: You have to earn my picture. I don’t send this face to just anybody.
ME: Are you saying I’m just anybody?
TANGLES: Oh, you’re somebody. Just not somebody that I’m going to send a picture to.
ME: :(
TANGLES: Yet.
ME: Hmm. What can I do to earn it?
TANGLES: Take me someplace. Spend lots of money on me. Let me borrow your debit card for a day or two. You know, the usual stuff girls get from a guy who wants their picture.
ME: Haha. Well, I don’t give out my debit card to just anybody. You know, you have to earn it.
TANGLES: Hmm. How do I earn it?
This isn’t going so bad. Should I ask her? Heck, what do I have to lose? Besides my ego? Calm down, Caden. Quit being a wuss.
ME: Let me take you out. Spend lots of money on you. You know, the usual stuff guys do for girls who give them their picture.
TANGLES: Doesn’t sound like a bad deal. What’s your idea?
ME: New Year’s. I want to take you. Not as my teammate, but as my date.
TANGLES: What about Jessie May? I thought you liked her.
My heart just about drops out of my chest. She did think I was into Jessie May. How do I fix this? Think. Think.
TANGLES: You’re not texting back. You like my cousin, don’t you?
ME: Well, I like her. She’s a sweet girl. But I don’t like her the way you like a girl when you ask for their picture.
TANGLES: Are you playing me? I could’ve sworn you and Jessie May were into each other while we were decorating those cookies.
ME: Nah. That was just me trying to get your attention. Jessie May was in on it the whole time. ;)
TANGLES: What do you mean? In on it?
ME: She saw the way I was looking at you. She wanted to help me out.
TANGLES: How were you looking at me?
ME: Like I just saw the most badass country girl in the county.
ME: And my life won’t be complete until I have her picture.
TANGLES: Well, that’s sort of a huge responsibility to live up to. Completing someone’s life, and all.
ME: Yep. I wouldn’t trust just anyone to do it.
TANGLES: Oh shoot. I’ve got to go. My parents are here. This isn’t going to be fun. :(
ME: Tangles, it’s Christmas. Is everything okay? Will I get to talk to you again? What about New Year’s?
There’s no response. Damn that girl is abrupt. She loves to leave me hanging. All the time. I take a deep breath and re-read our texts over and over and over. I could read her words all night long. Damn, she’s fun.
I’m starting to get a little cold. I should get dressed. I walk over to my dresser to grab some underwear and socks. When I pull out my drawer, I see it. My stash of souvenirs. They remind me of Peyton. The soft, innocent Peyton. The one that existed before the accident. I look through the stuff. There really isn’t much there. A couple tickets to the movies. A keychain from the homecoming dance. A polo shirt she bought me. I cringe. I’d never wear this. Green and brown stripes? What was she thinking? I laugh.
Memories come flooding back. Memories that, surprisingly, don’t hurt today. They’re good, but not great. Looking at the stuff, I realize, we were good. But face it, we were boring. There really wasn’t a lot there outside of snuggling and movies. Why didn’t I realize it at the time? I thought I was in love with her. I thought I couldn’t live without her. Her screaming voice echoes through my mind. Her scathing face flashes in front of me. Peyton wasn’t who I thought she was. For the first time, I know that I’m going to be just fine without her.
Ding.
I pull on my pajama bottoms and race back out to my bedroom to see if it’s her. It’s a group text from Officer Marnia.
MARNIA: Hey guys. I’ve been waiting for you to get back to me. I’m powering down for the night, but I’ll be back in the office on Monday. If I don’t hear from you, I’ll drop by f
or a visit.
I wonder what kind of update she’d want to give us on Christmas. Weird that she’d text this late at night. Kaitlyn’s going to be on pins and needles. I’d better go check on her.
I leave my phone on the bed and go down to T’s bedroom. She’s in the bathroom, so I stop just inside the doorway. “Hey, T. You in there?”
“Yeah,” her voice comes from around the corner.
“Did you get the text from Officer Marnia?”
“Um. I got one last night, but we were running Jenna back to town. I forgot to respond.”
“She just messaged again. Did you see it?”
Kaitlyn walks out with her bathrobe on and a towel around her head. “She’s tried to get a hold of us a few times this week. She must have something really important to tell us. What do you think it is?”
I take a deep breath. “I really don’t know.”
“Oh, God, Caden. Do you think he’s still out there? Maybe someone’s spotted him. The thought of that scares the hell out of me. What if he comes back?”
I can tell Kaitlyn’s let her guard down the last few days. I watch the stress reappear on her face. I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m so stupid sometimes. “It’s okay, T. If he hasn’t come back by now. I don’t think he will.”
“Just in case, can I sleep in your room tonight?”
“Why don’t we just sleep in the living room? Like the old days. We’ll make it a party. Watch all the ‘Home Alone’ movies.”
“Yeah, um, two creepy guys trying to break into a little kid’s house. That’s gonna make me feel better about my stalker.”
She does have a point. I’d better pick something a little less terrifying. “Okay, bad idea. We’ll go for Christmas comedies.”
I watch relief wash over my sister’s face, and I can see she’s been carrying more stress and fear than I’d realized.
“Alright. I’ll be right out. Just let me get dressed.”
I go back to my room to grab my sleeping bag and pillows. Just as I walk through the door, I hear another ding.
TANGLES: Okay. I’ll go with you. Is your team practicing this week?
ME: Yes! To both.
TANGLES: Great. What day will you be up?
ME: Monday.
TANGLES: In that case, see you then. :)
Just a smiley? Something must be wrong. Hope it’s not me.
I CAN’T BELIEVE I HAVE boarding practice during Christmas vacation. At least I have a chance to see her up there. I shove my wool socks into my duffle bag and zip it up. “Hey, Mom, are you ready to take me down to the bus?”
My mom sounds a little put out when she responds from the hallway. “Are you sure you don’t just want to take your truck down there?”
“I don’t want to leave it down by the gym. Remember what I told you about Jenna’s car? She still can’t find that flash drive.”
As I shove the last of my stuff into the duffle bag, I hear a voice behind me.
“What’s up, Cade man?”
I turn around to see Jenna. “Speak of the devil.” I greet her as she comes bouncing through my door. “What are you doing here so early? I thought you liked to sleep in on your days off.”
“It’s not my day off. I have basketball practice, remember? I’m here to see Kaitlyn before she heads off to her rehearsal.”
“I see. So, did you ever find that flash drive?” I look behind me and notice my mom is listening intently. A curious look comes over her face. It makes me think she was questioning my story until now. I hope she’s not onto me about not wanting to drive.
“Nope. But you know what else? You’re right about not leaving your truck down there. The other night when I was at practice, I left my car in front of the big gym. I must’ve forgotten to lock it. It was open when I got back, and I could swear someone had been eating in there. It smelled like peanut butter and Fritos when I got inside.”
I laugh. “Maybe you left your lunch under the seat. Or, it could’ve been your gym socks.”
“Funny, only that’s the day I ate lunch at Miner’s Perk. Turkey and cranberry doesn’t smell like that.” She pinches her face and sticks out her tongue.
“See, Mom. Unattended cars aren’t safe down there. You’d better give me a ride.”
I pull my duffle bag over my shoulder. “Have a good practice.”
“You kids are crazy,” my mom laughs. “Peanut butter and Fritos, yum.”
I barely register what my mom is saying. All I can think about is getting to the ski park. I can’t help but feel excited that I’m on my way to see Tangles. I open the door and jump two feet when I darn near run into Officer Marnia. “Holy crap, you scared me.”
“Sorry, kid. Do you guys have a minute? I can see you’re headed out. I won’t take long.”
I glance up at the clock. I still have ten minutes. It’s a good thing the gym is just down the street. “I can give you about five minutes. Is that enough time?”
“Sure. Is your sister here, too?”
“I’ll go get her,” my mom replies. “Why don’t you come on in, Officer Marnia?”
I hear my mom’s voice down the hall, as she beckons my sister out into the living room.
“Is your dad around?” Officer Marnia questions.
“No. He’s already down at work.”
“Okay, I guess I can do this without him here.”
My mom, Kaitlyn, Jenna, and I have all gathered around in the living room when Officer Marnia looks at each of us. The expression on her face is serious. “I was going to tell you earlier this week, that they found a body. It hadn’t been positively identified, so I didn’t press getting ahold of you when you didn’t respond to my texts. I just wanted to make you aware. But, with Christmas and family, I figured this could wait until today.”
I hear Kaitlyn take an audible breath. I can see she’s tensed from the news. I’m sure the officer is about ready to deliver some tough news, so I move to the other side of my mom. I want to be standing by T. I put my hand up to her back, so I can give her the support she might need with the next words Officer Marnia is sure to speak.
“It’s him. The family identified the body the other night.”
Kaitlyn’s hand instantly comes up over her mouth. She gasps and folds in half. I tug her into me, taking her tightly in my arms. I can feel her shaking. She’s holding onto me tightly. Brody’s not here, and I hope I can be the support that she needs right now. “Are you okay?” I whisper into the top of her head. She nods up and down, not saying a word.
I know she’s relieved that she doesn’t have to worry about him coming after her anymore, but she must also be hurting inside. At one time, she really loved Pistol. I know she’s forgiven him for everything he did. We’ve talked about it. She said there was a reason for the way he acted. We didn’t get into it, but I know that my sister is full of forgiveness and understanding. More than I’ll ever have. She wanted the best for him, despite the terror he caused in her life.
She’s beginning to cry. I can feel her tears seeping through my shirt sleeve. This is going to be so hard on her. I hold her tightly. “Shhh. It’s going to be okay, T. Shhh.”
Officer Marnia speaks again. “I hate to tell you this, but there’s more. Pistol’s body was found in a completely different location than his truck. It was found by some snowshoers in a crevice away from the river.”
What does that mean? “What are you trying to tell us?” I ask.
Officer Marnia looks around the room at each of us, as if she’s trying to gauge our reaction to the next bit of information she’s going to throw our way. “It means that there’s no way the water could’ve carried his body downstream. And he was too far away from the vehicle to have been thrown there naturally. His body was actually wedged in between two boulders.”
“I just don’t get it,” Kaitlyn sniffles. “How did he get there? What happened?”
“The forensics unit is looking into it. Right now, we know the body had to be dragged to the location
. We’re not sure if it was by animals, or something else. Snow covered any kind of tracks.”
I’m trying to visualize the scene in my mind, and I just can’t make sense of any of it. He was there. In his red truck. Coming at us. Shooting. I heard it. I heard it. “Did they find my gun?”
“I’m afraid not. There was no gun.”
“But there were bullets in my truck, weren’t there? You told me when they recovered my truck that there were holes.”
“Oh, there was a gun. I’m afraid it just wasn’t on Pistol Black. Not on his body anyway.”
I’m sure sheer terror is covering my face right now, because it’s for damn sure that it’s plastered all over my mother’s and Jenna’s.
Officer Marnia speaks, “I know you kids have had a little time since the accident. Have you remembered anything else about that day? Anything at all?”
I scan my memory for anything but come up empty. “It’s such a blur. It all happened so fast. But I’m just not sure.”
“Not sure about what, Caden?”
“I just don’t remember seeing Pistol with a gun, that’s all. I heard it. I know that for a fact. I definitely heard it. I saw Pistol waving his arms. I just don’t remember seeing a gun in his hand.”
Officer Marnia looks down and begins writing on her tablet. She’s shaking her head as she writes. “Well, I hate to do it, but I think I’m going to have to question Peyton again. Maybe she remembers something. She did have a different vantage point. I hope I can get her to talk this time.”
I don’t want to think about Peyton. I look up at the clock. I’m going to be late. I have two minutes to get down to that bus, and if I don’t, it’s going to take off without me. “Officer, I hate to be rude, but I’m going to miss my bus. If I remember anything else, I’ll give you a call.”
“Before you go, I just want to make sure you kids are still being vigilant out there. We’re still piecing the puzzle together, and until we find that gun, and the reason for the body’s location, we need you to be aware. Don’t go anywhere alone. It’ll just be safer that way.”
I nod my head. “Thanks, Officer.” I give T one more squeeze. “You going to be okay today?”
“Yep. I’m okay. Jenna, can you take Caden to the bus. I kinda need my mom right now.”
