by Amy Woods
“Okay, okay,” Katie said, holding up her hands in surrender. “We’ve all made mistakes.”
Lucy nodded, a little solemn. “I know, but I always wished he’d show up here again, just so I could kick his ass for you.”
Katie couldn’t help but laugh at her friend’s loyalty. “You wouldn’t hurt a fly, Lucy Haynes.”
“You might have a point there, but still, has he talked to you at all?”
Katie took a few steps in silence as they drew closer to the horse stables. “Actually, he’s done me one better. He drove me out here after my poor old truck broke down at the pub the other day.”
She caught Lucy turning to steal a glance at Ryan. “Well,” she said. “If you ask me, he owes you as much.”
Katie nodded in agreement. “You’re right there, but he’s been nothing but an angel since he got here. He and Sarah aren’t together anymore, you know. They had their quickie marriage annulled right after they skipped town.”
“You’re kidding,” Lucy said, not even attempting to hide her pleasure at being given this new gossip. Katie and Lucy hadn’t exactly been popular in high school, and Ryan Ford, well...was. Katie had never been able to figure out why the older guy was so willing to be followed around by a girl two years younger than him, but Lord, she was glad he had.
“Nope. Cross my heart,” Katie said, running her forefinger over her chest in an X shape. “He’s a free man.”
Lucy looked over at her friend and abruptly stopped walking.
“Oh, my goodness,” Lucy said.
“What?”
“Don’t you what me, Katie Bloom. It’s written all over that pretty face of yours, plain as the red in my hair.”
Katie still wasn’t catching on to what Lucy was talking about.
They were only a few feet away from the stables when Shiloh drove over in her wheelchair, an excited Shelby on the teenager’s lap. Shelby jumped down and ran ahead, pausing to stand at the fence, completely in awe of the two horses visible from where they stood. The child was speechless and Katie knew exactly how she felt, remembering the first time she’d met one of these amazing animals.
“Katie, Katie,” Lucy said, “don’t you get it? You still like him, don’t you?”
Now she had Katie’s attention. “Well, of course, I like him. He’s always been my best friend. He made a mistake, yes, but he apologized for that and, well, we’re working on repairing our friendship.”
Lucy shook her head. “No, honey. Not that. I mean in a different way.”
Katie felt heat rushing up to her cheeks and Lucy grinned in a knowing way. She’d only just arrived at this information herself...she wasn’t sure she was comfortable sharing it with anyone else quite yet. Then again, Lucy was a good friend. She was loyal and could keep things to herself, unlike Katie’s very friendly, very chatty grandmother...or June. Katie rolled her eyes. The people of Peach Leaf really needed to give her some space and let her figure this out for herself.
Small towns. Jeez.
“You and June are just...too much.”
“What do you mean?”
Katie smiled. “Nothing.”
Shelby rejoined them from her perch at the fence, begging Katie and Lucy to introduce her to the large animals, especially a regal-looking white quarter horse she could barely tear her eyes away from.
“Of course, sweetie,” Katie said, before promising to visit with Lucy later. “You sure you don’t want to join us, Luce?” she asked, but her friend waved a hand.
“Nah. I’ll catch up with you later. Maybe we can get together at dinnertime and let Shiloh and Shelby hang out some more.”
Shiloh nodded, smiling at her small friend, and she and Lucy headed back toward the face-painting booth.
“All right, sweetie,” she said, taking Shelby’s fine-boned hand in her own, the smallness of it tickling her heart. Katie had opted out of knowing the sex of her baby, but sometimes she wondered. She would love the child, boy or girl, in equal, overwhelming measure.
She concentrated on Shelby’s joy at meeting the horses, glad for something to distract her from the fear that bubbled up. Her insurance was secure for a full year after the official closure of the museum, as part of the generous severance package she and her coworkers were offered, but after that...
Never mind. She remembered a mantra that she’d first heard from her grandmother as a child. One day at a time. It was all she could afford to think about that weekend. There wasn’t anything she could do until Monday when she was back in the quiet of home while June worked her shift. She’d get a cup of tea, sit down and start searching for a new job, and she would base her choices on the baby, rather than on finding something she’d really enjoy. This baby would be her life now, and she would do everything in her power to make a good home for him or her...even if that meant the possibility of moving away from Peach Leaf for better work opportunities.
From what she’d gathered listening to folks around the campground—her coworkers and other townspeople—there was a sense of anticipation about the soon-to-be-built hospital, and in a way she was glad that her friends weren’t spending much time mourning the loss of the museum. She knew a cancer treatment center would mean new, welcome job opportunities for the town, but Katie couldn’t think of one single thing she’d be qualified for in a place like that.
She’d finished high school and had even taken a few college courses at the community college in Austin, but the living expenses had proved too much and she’d eventually moved home; then she’d met Bradley and moved in with him, found her job, and the rest was history.
Perhaps her grandmother’s advice hadn’t been the best. Maybe she’d spent so much of her life living one day at a time, and not enough planning for the possibility of her life turning upside down.
She pulled her shoulders down as she led Shelby up to the horse stalls to look on as Alvin, the animals’ sweet, gentle caretaker, currycombed a white horse’s coat until it shone and studied its tack to check for damage before carefully putting on the saddle pad, saddle and bridle. Then he handed Katie and Shelby each a helmet. Alvin had chosen a sweet, docile horse with no history of throwing off riders for pregnant Katie and her small companion.
He led the horse out of the stables into a small, fenced pasture, holding the reins for Katie as she hoisted herself up and settled into place. As soon as she gave the okay, Alvin lifted Shelby up to her, the little girl’s happy squeals chasing away all traces of the anxiety Katie felt only moments ago.
Once they were ready, a helmeted Shelby comfortably and safely in place in front of Katie, the two girls set off down an easy trail.
After about a twenty-minute ride, Katie urged the horse into an easy trot, just to hear Shelby giggle as they bounced along, before dismounting and leading the animal to the river for a quick drink and a few of the chopped carrots Alvin had given Shelby to keep in her pockets. She sat, taking off her shoes and lowering her feet into the water alongside the horse’s slurping muzzle, letting the coolness shock her skin. She closed her eyes, enjoying the simple beauty of a happy child and a happy horse.
She heard what sounded like thunder in the distance, but didn’t think anything of it, certain it was just the din of enthusiastic people in one place back at camp. But then Shelby tugged at her shirt and she turned to see a rider just over the low hill they’d crossed to reach the water, closing in at a steady pace.
Even though he was too far away for her to see his face, Katie knew instinctively that the black horse’s rider was Ryan.
Shelby gave her horse another carrot, delighted when his whiskers tickled her skin, and Katie stole the private moment to enjoy her view as Ryan approached.
He drew nearer and she could see the gilded glow of his hazel eyes, the skin crinkled at their corners with his smile. Katie pulled her feet from the cool water to let them dry, leaning back on her palms, unashamed, to watch as the handsome rider came closer, and closer still, his earnest eyes never leaving hers.
&n
bsp; “There’re my girls,” he said, dismounting before leading the midnight-colored horse to the water next to Shelby’s.
Katie’s heart lit up at the words. My girls. Oh, how she wished it were true for more than that moment.
Something in his face told her that she might not be alone in that desire. Ryan held on to the reins as he sat down next to Katie, letting his horse drink.
“What are you doing out here, cowboy?” she asked, her tone far more flirty than she’d intended. But Ryan didn’t laugh as he scooted closer to her.
“Enjoying the fresh air,” he said.
“Not a bad idea you’ve got there.” He took off his own shoes and placed his feet in the water. He kicked his foot and a few drops landed on Katie’s jeans.
“Hey!” she said, reaching into the water with her hand and returning the splash.
He glanced at Shelby, who’d ignored him in favor of his horse when he’d arrived. The child was happily feeding the new animal the rest of her carrots, her face filled with joy at being the center of two horses’ attention. Ryan gave a deep belly laugh, sharing the little girl’s delight, then leaned over to whisper in Katie’s ear, his warm, peppermint-scented breath causing the little hairs on her neck to stand at attention. “You asked for it,” he said, his voice low and sensual. “Sitting there all cute.”
Heat bubbled in her abdomen, curling lower as he continued to murmur into her ear, his nose gently grazing the sensitive skin there.
“Do you know what you do to me, Katie?” he asked. “What you’ve always done to me?”
She shook her head no, completely unable to speak.
“I’ll tell you soon enough.”
Having shocked the absolute tar out of her, Ryan leaned back and gave her a slow, agonizingly gorgeous smile, his eyes glowing like a mischievous panther’s in the sunlight, before pulling his feet out of the water. He didn’t say a word as he dried them, winking at her as he replaced his socks and got up to join Shelby in feeding snacks to the horses.
She watched him in awe as he laughed with the little girl, treating her as if she was his own and they were out for a day trip as a family.
There it was again—that same thought, the one she’d entertained far too often for her own good that day.
Family.
Part of her wanted to give in to the illusion, to pretend that was what the three of them—Katie, Ryan and Shelby—were, but the other, far wiser part of her knew it was a shaky thing to wish for.
She’d made that mistake before and was still in the process of paying for it, of wondering what her child’s life would be like without a father, of wondering if it was her fault, if there was something more she could have done to keep Bradley from leaving, if not for her, then for the sake of their baby.
Katie still couldn’t be certain that Ryan was on the same page...or even really what page she was on.
Did she want a relationship with him? Was that really in the best interests of her baby? Even though he’d apologized, and Katie meant what she’d said when she forgave him, was it really wise to let him into her heart again? Into the lives of her and her child? The real question was...could she really risk losing him again?
She wasn’t sure that her heart could handle that.
Losing Bradley was one thing, but losing Ryan—again—was something that, she was absolutely certain, had the potential to cause irreparable damage.
She laid a hand on her swollen belly.
Even if she wanted him, and even on the slim chance that he wanted her, too, she owed it to her little one to be cautious, to make every move with both of them in mind. Even if Ryan could be trusted with her heart, there was still so much more she needed to ask him, so much more she needed to find out before she could even begin to think about giving him a single piece of herself.
But for that moment, all she could do was revel in his attention to her, in the way he’d cared for her that day, making sure she’d taken her prenatal vitamins. He’d stopped to buy the three of them breakfast on the way, after finding out that Katie had skipped the meal and chiding her to ensure that she ate regularly that weekend, knowing she’d need the extra energy to keep up with the kids and all of their activities. He’d noticed earlier when she felt a little unbalanced, and had placed a gentle hand under her elbow until she felt steady again. And when she’d suggested that he could head back to town if he needed to, he’d brushed the idea away in a heartbeat, saying something about making sure she had everything she needed and that he’d be there to support her throughout the weekend. Besides, he’d said, he had a hectic week coming up with his work, and he could use a restful weekend before diving into the month ahead.
All outward signs pointed to him being an excellent father, but she still hadn’t asked him about his and Sarah’s baby.
Something was amiss there, and she needed to find out exactly what it was before she spent another second daydreaming about...about a life with him.
“You ready, Katie?” he asked, holding out a hand to help her up. She accepted his outstretched hand, and although she felt a bit like a beached whale despite being slightly less than halfway through her pregnancy, he lifted her easily off the ground.
It wasn’t until she was in a standing position again that a strange feeling hit her.
“Katie? Katie, are you all right?” Ryan asked, his voice sounding farther and farther away as she lost her balance and a strange dizziness engulfed her. Ryan caught her just in time, pulling her against his body to steady her. Shelby wandered over, probably alerted by the worried tone in Ryan’s voice.
“Is something wrong, Mr. Ryan?” she asked, folding her hands together in front of her little body. Katie’s heart ached at the thought that she’d scared the girl.
“No, sweetie,” she said, injecting as much reassurance into her words as possible to calm the sensitive child. “I’m fine.”
She looked up at Ryan, whose face was filled with doubt and far more alarm than the situation called for.
“I really am okay,” she said, speaking more to him than to Shelby this time. “Just a little dizzy spell is all. I probably haven’t had enough water to drink, or need a little more to eat or something. No big deal.”
She offered Ryan a reassuring smile and held on to his forearms for a few seconds, making sure that she had her bearings before letting go.
Chapter Nine
Ryan didn’t like it one bit.
After what happened to Katie earlier—her sudden, unexplained dizzy spell—he vowed to keep a hawk’s eye on her at all times, whether she liked it or not.
And she definitely did not, or so she’d told him in at least ten different ways since they’d returned, wiped down and brushed the horses, and headed over to join the rest of the campers for dinner.
As he grabbed a couple of hot dogs and carelessly doused them with condiments, Ryan watched Katie for any sign of distress. He grabbed an ice-cold Coke from a cooler and walked over to the picnic table where she sat, her flushed face shielded from the sun by a canopy. She looked a little tired but happy as she laughed at something Liam and Paige Campbell’s little boy said and helped Shelby cut up her food.
His heart lifted a little, seeing Katie next to the sweet little girl he’d only met that morning. He wondered if the baby he and Sarah had lost—the little girl he’d never known but loved with no less ferocity—would have become anything like Shelby.
He’d had some time to heal after the stillbirth, and when he took a hard look at the situation, he knew that he didn’t really miss Sarah. What he missed was what she’d represented: family. The possibility of home and all that meant. He’d wanted so badly for it to work out between them, all the while knowing that his heart didn’t belong to her. It belonged to Katie—always had, always would.
He never should have tried to pretend otherwise.
He knew things were over with Sarah before she gave birth to a baby that wasn’t breathing. Sarah knew it, too. They’d discussed the possibility of ann
ulment a few times during her pregnancy, but Ryan had always refused. He wouldn’t be like his father. He would be someone they could rely on and trust. Even if things weren’t perfect with Sarah, he’d promised to always be there...a promise he’d taken very seriously.
But after what happened, after they’d tried to help each other through the crippling grief, Sarah had called it quits, and Ryan, weary from sorrow and the truth of what his life had become, had agreed. They parted amicably and checked in on each other now and then. They would always share a sort of bond, but they would never love each other.
Strange, he thought, how trying so hard to be a good man...to be honest and true and loyal...had turned him into a liar.
The only truth he’d ever known for certain was that he loved Katie Bloom.
And it was also the only truth he’d never spoken out loud.
He would have to change that, and soon. He would have to face his fear—the very real possibility that she did not feel the same, at least not anymore—and tell her what had been in his heart for so long.
The day away from his father, from their work on the hospital blueprints, was a good thing for him. He’d spent so long hiding in his work the past few years, and it was a little strange to be experiencing something else, something entirely unrelated to his business. It reminded him that there were more important things in life than work and that he really should try to find some balance.
Katie looked up when he sat next to her on the picnic table bench, her dark eyes more alive than they’d been earlier. Perhaps she was right and it was only a benign dizzy spell, and she just needed to eat something and get a little more water into her system.
“Hey, you,” she said, her smooth voice soothing his worry a little bit. “We were wondering what you’d gotten into.”
He greeted the Campbells and tucked into his food.
“You know how Peach Leaf is. Everyone wants to know where I’ve been and what I’ve been up to. It’s like if I haven’t been here, I must have just fallen off the face of the Earth or something.”
She made a chiding sound. “They’re just curious and they care about you.” She stabbed a piece of salad greens with her fork and took a bite. “We all do.”
