by Amy Woods
“When she said that, I just lost it. I was terrified of losing her, and that was a very real possibility at that point. She wasn’t sure she wanted to stay married to me, and knowing that she might leave set something off in me. I don’t know if I did what I did to get Annabelle’s attention or to hurt her...I’m not sure, but I don’t think so. It’s hard to see clearly when you’re looking at the past.”
Ryan sat perfectly still, listening...perhaps even starting to understand a little bit what his dad might have gone through. As the man had said, it didn’t excuse anything, but it sort of...made things make more sense.
“I can’t pinpoint why it happened...why I caused it to happen...but believe me when I say that if I could undo it, I would. A thousand times, I would.”
Ryan was at a loss for words, and when he did speak, it was only to state something they both already knew. “You shouldn’t have, Dad. And it wasn’t okay to drag me into it.”
“I know that, son. And I want you to know that I am so sorry.”
His father choked up, rendering speech impossible for a moment.
“I love her more than anything in the world, and once she decided that she wanted me to stay, that she loved me, too, it was like a light turned on in my heart, and I’d realized what I’d done. I’ve spent every second of every day since trying to show her that I wish it had never happened and that I’m sorry.”
Ryan nodded, trying to sort through his emotions, to make sense of the whirlwind.
“I should have said the same to you a long time ago, son. I’m so sorry.”
Ryan swallowed, letting his father’s words wash over a wound inside his heart. It was the first step, he hoped, to its healing.
“I accept your apology,” he said. “And I’d like to...I’d like to work on repairing what we both broke here.”
His father nodded and Ryan saw tears fall from the older man’s eyes, for the first time in memory. And even though it took great strength to do so, even though it wasn’t the most comfortable thing in the world and felt about as natural as poking himself with a needle, Ryan got up from his chair and headed around behind the desk. He stood with open arms, and his father rose to meet him, hugging his son tight.
They finally let go when they heard a knock on the office door and saw Annabelle standing there. It was odd, Ryan thought, to see her now, knowing another part of her past, but he was relieved to find that it didn’t change anything about how much he loved his mom. She was the same person she’d always been, but with a few imperfections Ryan had never known about. Instead of tainting her in his eyes, the knowledge only seemed to make her character stronger to him. She’d suffered through some difficult things in her young marriage and had been the receiver of a few pretty hard blows in her life, not the least of which was the cancer she was battling as they stood there, but there she was, strong as the oak tree that shaded the front porch of his family home.
That was what he needed to be for Katie—sturdy and steady in even the most threatening storms that might come their way. He could bend and falter, but the important thing was for him to remain steadfast. He would learn from his parents’ mistakes, rather than repeating them.
It was a relief to know, finally, that he didn’t have to be perfect...he just had to be his very best for the woman he loved, and the children he wanted to have with her. He would be her strength when she lacked it and, hopefully, she would be the same for him. He didn’t have to do this alone.
He loved Katie, and if he was lucky, maybe she loved him, too.
Chapter Fifteen
“Ease up, June, I’m not an invalid.”
Katie appreciated her friend’s concern, but she really wasn’t interested in continuing to be treated as though she might keel over at any second. To be fair, that was what had gotten her into the hospital in the first place, but she knew what she needed to do now to keep it from happening again.
“That may be true, but your opinion on the subject is invalid.”
“Oh, my God, June, I’m so not in the mood for stupid puns right now.”
June just whacked her gently on the shoulder and kept pushing Katie’s wheelchair until they reached the nurses’ station.
“All right, Ms. Bloom,” Ashley said when she’d completed the necessary paperwork to get her the heck out of there, “you’re all set.”
“Thanks so much for everything, Ashley. You were an absolute dream.”
The nurse who’d taken care of Katie overnight waved her hand dismissively. “You weren’t so bad yourself,” she said, teasing. “Just do me a favor and make sure you don’t end up back in here. Follow the doctor’s discharge instructions and remember to take it easy. I don’t want to see you again, you hear?”
Katie rolled her eyes, but the nurse wasn’t having it. “What did I say?”
“All right, all right. I’m supposed to take it easy, I know.”
June pinched Katie hard on the shoulder.
“Ow! What was that for?”
“For sassing the nurse. You heard what she said, and I am not going to let you alone again until this baby is born and you’re both healthy.”
“Really,” Katie asked, overdramatizing her rubbing of the sore spot to make June feel as badly about it as possible. “And how do you plan to do that with a full-time job?”
June stopped pushing the wheelchair and sat in one of the waiting room chairs just inside the sliding glass doors. Turning Katie’s chair to face her, she bit her lip and Katie could tell her friend was up to no good.
“What is it, June?” she demanded. “What are you not telling me?”
June didn’t say anything, but Katie caught her eyes focusing on something across the room.
She turned to find Ryan standing a few yards away, an incredible bouquet of soft pink roses and baby’s breath in his hands; the arrangement was so large it covered up most of his torso.
Her breath caught as she met his eyes and he began walking toward her. Her emotions were such a confusing mess that she couldn’t figure out whether to scream at him for leaving her again or to grab him and hold on for dear life in the hope that it would not happen again...much the way she’d reacted when she’d first seen him back in Peach Leaf only a few days before.
“Ryan,” she said, her voice sounding defeated even to her own ears.
He didn’t say anything, just stood there looking apologetic and handsome and...in love.
Finally, he leaned forward to give her the flowers, bracing himself on her wheelchair as he lowered himself to his knees.
She looked over her shoulder at June, who was staring at the couple as though they were in a movie. Katie pulled a face at her friend, who just waved her away, grabbing a tissue to wipe her eyes.
“First of all, I’m not proposing, so you can stop freaking out right about now—” Katie couldn’t help but grin through her frustration “—and second, there are about a thousand things I need to tell you...that I’ve needed to tell you for far too long.”
She looked down at the discharge papers in her lap, gathering her concentration. The moment was intense, full of sentiment, but though she wanted to let him speak, she needed to make sure that she had her bearings, that she could listen to his words with distance and wisdom, and not let her heart get in the way and cause her to make impulsive decisions.
She had a baby to think of...a baby that reminded her recently that he or she came first and that she needed to concentrate on taking care of the two of them before anyone else came into the picture. She’d known that before, but the past few days moved the knowledge to the very forefront, so that she had no choice but to face it head-on.
“Ryan, I’m sure you’ve got your reasons, and I know you’re a good man, but I really don’t think now’s the time to—”
He reached up and gripped her hands tight, wrapping his around them until they covered hers completely, and he didn’t show any signs of letting go.
“Look, Katie, just...let’s not talk here. You must be s
tarving, and this place makes me nervous and I’d really like to take you somewhere else so we can talk.”
She gave him a look that probably expressed what she felt after spending the night in the hospital, doctors monitoring her every move, and June and her parents fussing over her as though she were a helpless child.
“You don’t have to do anything, and you don’t have to agree with me. The only thing I need you to do is let me give you something to eat and...listen to me.”
His eyes were the kicker. She’d seen that look before and knew exactly what it meant: sheer determination.
Ryan Ford was not going to give up until she gave in.
She tilted her head. “I’ll go with you, Ryan, on one condition.”
“Anything,” he said, his eyes pleading with her.
“I’m so sick of hospital food and I am starving, so for all that is holy, let me pick the place.”
He smiled, looking immensely relieved. Even though there were things she needed to say to him, and things she needed to hear him say, and even though he’d better have a damn good reason to have hightailed it out of the hospital at a terrible time, she knew there was only one thing that truly mattered.
She loved him, and it was plain on his face that he loved her.
The rest they could handle together.
* * *
Katie had loved the fancy Italian place Ryan took her to the day before, but with the chaos over and the medical stuff behind her, hopefully until her next regular maternity checkup, she was in the mood for good old-fashioned comfort food.
She could smell the grease from the parking lot when they pulled into Barb’s diner, and she inhaled deeply, letting the scent of Southern-fried food do its thing.
“I offer to take you anywhere in town and this is where you pick,” Ryan said, shaking his head in wonder at the woman beside him in the truck. “You’re something else, Katie Bloom.”
It took a lot of convincing for Ryan not to carry her inside, and Katie wondered if he was trying to make up for leaving yesterday. The thought made her a little queasy and she unbuckled her seat belt, but didn’t make a move to get out of the truck.
“Ryan,” she said. “Before we eat, before you say anything or...just before anything else happens, I really need to know one thing.”
He turned off the vehicle and removed his own safety belt, turning to face her, the motion the only signal she needed to continue.
“After all that happened over the weekend...going out there together, skinny-dipping in the river and...well, you know.”
Neither of them needed a reminder of what else had happened.
If she closed her eyes, Katie could still feel Ryan’s warm hands on her skin; she had spent a great deal of her time in the hospital reimagining the entire night.
She took a deep breath and found the courage she needed to go on.
“I need to know why you always run when things get tough,” she said, her words setting off something that flickered across his features.
“I know you’re a good man, Ryan, but I have to be honest with you. I’m not sure I can be with you if you can’t stick around. I lost my heart when you left me for Sarah, and I thought I’d lost it again when you left me at the hospital. I can handle Bradley leaving, but I don’t think I can handle it if you ever do that to me again.”
She looked up, catching the sorrow in his green-gold eyes.
“I didn’t love Bradley,” she said, “but I do love you.”
Ryan reached across the seat to grab her hand but she pulled away and pressed on.
“Say something, Ryan. Tell me why you did that. Tell me you won’t do it again.”
“Katie,” he said, reaching again to touch her. This time she let him, encouraged by the fact that he’d tried again, even though it might have hurt him.
“The truth is, I left because I was afraid, too.”
“Afraid of what?”
“Of losing you, Katie. You’re all that matters to me in this world, and when you collapsed the other day, I couldn’t face the fact that you might not get up again, that something truly bad might happen to you.”
She nodded, hearing his words but not yet fully understanding.
“The baby that Sarah and I had?”
Katie nodded again.
“We lost it...we lost her,” he said. “She wasn’t alive when she was born. That was part of why Sarah and I couldn’t stay together—there was just too much pain between us after that—but the other reason is that we never really loved each other.”
Katie could no longer see past the tears that flooded her eyes, the pain of Ryan’s words sinking in; she felt his loss almost as though it was her own, and she reached down to touch her belly, just to make sure she could still feel the form of the tiny being inside her.
It was her turn to reach for him then, and she scooted over on the seat, pulling him in close as he embraced her.
His apology was all there in the way he held her, stroking her long hair, but there was more he needed to say, and she was more than glad to hear it.
“I love you, Katie. I always have and I always will. When I ran away from the hospital yesterday, it was to take care of some things, so that when I came back, I could give you everything I have. I had to let my dad know that even though I’m not sure I can forgive him just yet, we’re okay...or that we will be.”
Ryan slid a finger down Katie’s cheek, brushing away her tears before tucking it under her chin to tilt her face toward his.
“I don’t want to be like my father. I don’t want to make those kinds of mistakes. I want to be a man you can trust no matter what happens. I want you to know that I will never, ever leave you again, come hell or high water. I will take care of you and your...our...baby because I love you more than anything in the world, and I want you to be mine, Katie.”
Her heart was so full that all she could manage in the way of communicating her answer was a happy nod.
In the space of only a few minutes, Ryan said all she ever wanted to hear, and it was more than enough to last a lifetime.
Epilogue
Katie giggled, unable to see on account of a bandanna blindfold, as they bumped along in Ryan’s truck.
“Where are we going, crazy man?” she asked.
The only response was a whole lot of nothing.
But Ryan remained tight-lipped, refusing to say a word on the subject or even to give the tiniest of hints.
She reached behind her to the bundle strapped in a car seat in the back of the truck, tickling baby Michele’s tiny feet.
One of these days, I’ll get a first laugh out of that one, she thought.
Even though she wasn’t biologically his, and though she was a sweet, happy baby, Katie’s little girl had Ryan’s serious intelligence.
She would catch the baby sometimes studying blocks or the toys hanging from her mobile as if she could already understand the way they functioned. She even hoped that Michele might someday go into the family business and take over her daddy’s architecture firm.
All in good time, though, she chided herself. Let the kid grow up first.
Finally, the truck pulled to a stop.
“Are we there yet, Mom? I don’t see anything.” Shelby asked from the backseat, her voice groggy from sleep. Katie was glad at least one of them had gotten some rest on the long drive.
Ryan had pulled the three girls out of bed that morning, fed them stacks of peach pancakes and then hurried them along as they dressed and filed obediently into the car, none of them the wiser about where on Earth he was taking them.
He was so excited that Katie couldn’t help but feel that way, too, knowing that if her husband had planned a surprise, it would be a good one.
“I don’t know,” Katie answered. “You’ll have to ask your dad. He’s the one in charge here.” She giggled and Shelby directed her question toward Ryan, who still said nothing about their destination.
“All right, ladies. Out of the truck,” he ordere
d, moving quickly to get himself out so he could help Shelby and the baby.
Katie, unfortunately, was still stuck with the blindfold.
Presumably holding the carrier in one hand, Ryan came round to her side of the truck and opened the door, grabbing her hand to help her down.
“This would be a heck of a lot easier if I could see, you know,” she teased, but Ryan just laughed.
“Oh, I know. But where’s the fun in that? This is a surprise, so, naturally, I want you to be surprised.”
She rolled her eyes, slightly disappointed that no one could see her expression.
“Watch your step,” he said before laughing. “Oh, right, I forgot.”
Ryan told Shelby to stay close and not to say anything as she followed behind. He led them down a gravelly road—Katie could feel the pebbles beneath her shoes and saw their white dust from the narrow open slit at the bottom of her bandanna.
After a few minutes, she heard Ryan set down the baby carrier, and he placed a hand softly on her elbow, leaning in to whisper in her ear.
“We’re here, my love,” he said, reaching around her head to untie the cloth. “Open your eyes.”
She did, blinking at the vivid sun until her eyes adjusted to the light.
The first thing she saw was a long, red building in the distance.
“Horsies!” Shelby cried out, just as the word sprung into Katie’s mind.
Then, scanning the view around her, she saw several small buildings that looked like cabins, painted alternating bright, primary colors. There were names of various native Texan birds on little wooden plaques just outside the doors.
And then she saw water, which she’d thought she vaguely heard earlier, but had been too invested in walking without sight to think much about.
A river, wide and clear, flowing through what was obviously a camp, stretched far into the distance. After that, she noticed a swimming pool, tennis and basketball courts, and a long, low building that must have been a dining hall.
Tears welled up and Katie put her hands over her mouth.
