by Helen Lacey
Brooke’s brows came up. “You drifted apart?”
He immediately looked sheepish. “Okay... I bailed. She knew I wasn’t staying in New York permanently, but once she started getting serious I guess I spooked and left. Yeah,” he said when Brooke shook her head. “I know... I’m a jerk.” He took a deep breath. “But I want to make things right by Yelena. And by my daughter.”
Brooke gave him a hug. “I’m so pleased to hear you say that. You’re home now, and that’s all that matters.”
“Yeah,” he said soberly. “I guess I am.”
But the vagueness in his voice couldn’t be missed.
* * *
The Parker Ranch was a big, sprawling spread, like the type seen on postcards or vacation posters in travel agency windows. And Tyler couldn’t help thinking how much Brooke would love a place just like it. How she deserved a place just like it. Since she’d decided to take Pritchard’s offer he was hopeful she’d be able to restore the ranch to what he figured it once was. He’d be long gone by then. Back in New York and ensconced in his old life.
Yet every time he looked at her, he was drawn further in, deeper, making the idea of leaving her harder. But now that Matthew had returned and said he was prepared to be a father to Cara, Tyler could actually see an end in sight. Of course, he had reservations. His opinion of Matt hadn’t changed in a matter of hours. But Yelena had been convinced that Matthew would be up to the task of being a parent and Tyler knew he needed to be open to the idea out of respect for her dying wishes. Ultimately, he would do what was best for Cara. Either way, for him, there would be no Brooke. No Cara. Just the life he’d been entrenched in for so many years he’d forgotten there was something else possible, something more.
First thing he needed to do was rearrange his flights and contact the office to tell them of his changed schedule. He was pretty sure the senior partner wouldn’t be happy he was stretching the trip out a few more days, but it couldn’t be helped. Cara’s future was more important to him than...
Than anything.
The realization had slowly worked its way into his head that morning. That he loved the baby. She had wheedled her way into his heart. She’d made him a better man. Being with Cara and Brooke had filled an emptiness he hadn’t had the courage to acknowledge. But he could now.
He loved Brooke.
He’d never been in love before, had always avoided too much commitment, figuring he had time before he settled down. But hell, who was he kidding? At thirty-four years old he’d fallen in love for the first time. And he was in love with a woman who lived thousands of miles from him. A cowgirl. A woman who loved her ranch and her horses as though they were the blood that flowed through her veins. She could never do the city...and after nearly twenty years it was all he knew.
There was no middle road for them.
“Everything okay with you?”
He turned and discovered that Colleen Parker had sidled up beside him. He was on the front porch, braving the cold air after spending over an hour being suffocated by all the familial closeness. The Parkers were a happy and somewhat noisy family who obviously cared about one another a great deal. If Matt could prove he could be a responsible parent, Cara would be well loved, he was sure of it. Still, the ache that had steadily developed all day now felt like a hole he might never be able to fill.
“Yes, of course.”
The older woman’s eyes were wide and curious. “So, how do you think young Matt is going to do as a full-time dad?”
“Time will tell.”
“Yes,” Colleen said. “I can see you have your reservations as I do. I’m not sure he’s grown up enough yet for the job.”
“He’s her father. In the eyes of the law, that’s usually what matters most.”
“I’ve always believed that when it comes to family,” she said with a wise smile, “that it’s the heart that matters most.”
He shrugged loosely. “Maybe. But it’s also what Yelena wanted.”
“She was young,” Colleen said. “And probably too in love with that young man inside to see him clearly. Oh, don’t get me wrong, Matthew is a kind and caring person and I’m sure he’ll do the best he can...but Cara needs more than good intentions.”
“He’ll have his sister to help him through the hard times.”
“Yes,” Colleen said, her eyes wide. “Brooke always has been a tower of strength. And she’s one of the kindest, most loyal people I have ever known. But I think you already know that.” She tapped his arm affectionately and then waved an arm in an arc. “I know you have a life far away from here...but don’t be too quick to leave all this behind.”
“Different worlds,” he said cryptically and crossed his arms.
“Yes. And sometimes worlds collide.” Her expression softened. “My niece has had a lot of hurt and disappointment in her life...perhaps more than you know. I do hope you’re not going to be another page in that book.”
She smiled and walked back inside. He could hear the family laughing and talking through the open door and he almost envied them. With that thought he pulled out his cell phone and flicked through the numbers on speed dial. He selected a number and waited for the call to connect.
“Hello.”
Recognition warmed his chest. “Hey, Mom.”
“Tyler.” His mother breathed his name in her wispy voice. “It’s so good to hear your voice.”
Four months, he thought guiltily. It had been that long since he’d bothered to contact his parents. “You, too. How’s Dad?”
She chuckled. “Good. He’s in the kitchen carving the roast.”
Tyler smiled to himself. His parents were longtime vegans, so he figured their roast was some kind of soy or tofu offering. “Glad to hear you’re keeping him busy.” He paused, fighting the emotion suddenly in his throat. “Ah...merry Christmas, Mom.”
“Merry Christmas, son.”
His mother sniffed and he suspected she was already crying. “So,” he said, trying to lighten the mood, and the reception crackled. “I was thinking of coming for a visit.”
She was silent for a second. “A visit? Really? That would be wonderful. When?”
“Soon,” he promised.
They chatted for a couple of minutes and when he finally said goodbye he couldn’t believe how much better he felt. He turned to go back inside, but found Brooke standing by the door, one shoulder leaning against the jamb.
“I wasn’t eavesdropping,” she said and smiled as she pushed herself off the door frame and moved toward him. “I just didn’t want to interrupt you. You were talking to your parents?”
“Yes, to my mother.”
“I’m glad. It’s important to connect with family at this time of year.”
He knew he had her to thank for it and nodded fractionally. “So, how’s the new dad doing in there?” he asked, eager to talk about anything other than himself.
“Pretty good,” she replied and laughed. “Matt changed his first diaper. Under Colleen’s strict supervision, of course, and he seemed to catch on quickly. Although he did look a little green around the gills.”
Tyler laughed and damn it felt good. The last few hours had been unbearably strained. “I’m sure he’ll get used to it.”
She stepped in beside him, so close he picked up traces of the scent that was uniquely hers. He was about to move when she grabbed his hand and linked their fingers. He looked down and saw her eyes glittering.
“What is it?”
“Thank you,” she whispered. “Thank you for carrying out Yelena’s wishes and giving Matt this chance.”
“It’s my job.”
She squeezed his hand. “I know it’s more than that. Ralph is your friend and I know you’re genuinely attached to Cara. But it’s more than that. You’re a good person...kind and conside
rate.”
“I thought I was an arrogant jerk?” he chided softly, reminding her of her name-calling.
“A lot can change in a week,” she said and released his hand. “But now Matt is home, I think everything will be okay.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“Are you coming back inside?” she asked. “It’s Christmas, so don’t be alone out here.”
“I’m not alone,” he said and grabbed her hand again, and then they walked back inside. Together.
When they got home that evening it was close to nine o’clock. Tyler hung back while Matt put his daughter to bed, and then Matt said he was beat and excused himself to go to his room. But Cara seemed restless so Tyler sat in the chair by her crib a little while, winding the nursey rhyme mobile over and over until she drifted off.
“She’s had a big day,” Brooke said, meeting him in the doorway. “And I think she’s probably used to your voice singing her to sleep.”
His insides crunched up. “Maybe.”
“So... I was wondering,” she said, looking up, all indigo eyes and pink lips. “Are you going to your room, or mine?”
His libido did a mad leap. All he wanted to do was carry her down the hall, strip off her clothes and make love to her all night long. But things were different tonight. “Do you think that’s wise since your brother is here?”
She tugged on her lower lip with her teeth and reached up, her palm on his chest. “He’s my brother, not my father. And since he’s caught us making out twice already today, I think he’s got a fair idea about what’s going on.”
God, she was messing with his head. “I don’t think we should complicate things any further, do you?”
She looked hurt. “You don’t want me?”
“It’s not that,” he said, dying inside. “I just need to stay focused on what’s important.”
Her hand dropped. “Oh... I see. Okay, good night, then.”
“Good night.” The words clawed their way off his tongue because the last thing he wanted to do was leave her bed for the solitary coldness of his own.
He watched her walk down the hall, her lovely hips swaying in that way that was hers alone. Then he took a shower and spent the next few hours staring at the ceiling, watching shadows from the moonlight bounce off the walls through the window. And wondered how he was going to tell Brooke he was in love with her on one hand, and then say he was still leaving on the other.
With that in mind, he figured the best thing to do was to say nothing.
And as much as he was loath to admit it, Matt Laughton shocked the hell out of him over the course of the next couple of days by actually making every effort to be a hands-on, responsible adult with a baby. In between diaper changes, bath time, story time and playtime, he was personable and friendly and appeared to be settling into the role of Cara’s father. And the baby seemed accepting enough of the new person in her life. Tyler still made sure he settled her in her crib each night, but he otherwise gave Matt all the space he needed to be able to connect with his daughter. To the other man’s credit, he asked for advice when he was in too deep, and accepted feedback with a nod and a smile.
Brooke, on the other hand, avoided him like the plague.
She spent most of her days outside, and in the evenings she spent time with Cara and Matt before turning in to bed early. He convinced himself it was for the best and tried to ignore the ache in his heart and his groin. But he missed her. He missed talking with her. He missed looking into her indigo eyes. He missed the taste of her kiss and the feel of her skin against his. Since that night outside Cara’s room she hadn’t spared him more than a glance.
“Is my sister giving you the cold shoulder?”
He looked up from his spot at the kitchen table on late Monday afternoon, where he’d been sitting and drinking coffee for the past half hour, and hopeful that Brooke would come through the mudroom so they could talk. But it was Matt in the doorway, looking weary from his last couple of hours entertaining Cara. The baby was in Matt’s arms, but she held out her chubby arms when she spotted him and he got up instantly. Matt handed her over, watching as Tyler placed the baby against his chest and patted her back soothingly.
“You make it look easy,” Matt said as he moved around the counter to pour himself a mug of coffee.
“It’s not easy,” Tyler replied. “But you’ll get the hang of it with time and effort.”
Matt nodded. “You know, you didn’t answer the question.”
“What question?”
“About what’s going on between you and Brooke?”
“Anything that is between your sister and me is going to stay that way.”
Matt laughed. “You’re even more uptight than she is.” And then, more soberly, he asked, “So, have you made a decision? Are you gonna leave Cara here with me?”
Tyler held Cara a little firmer. He knew what he had to do, as much as it pained him. He’d known since that morning when he watched Matt endeavor to soothe Cara as she cried. Matt was trying hard to build a relationship with his daughter and Cara was slowly responding to him. It was what Yelena had wished for and Tyler knew he couldn’t stand in the way of that. No matter how much it pained him. “Yes.”
Matt nodded, looking relieved, though a little apprehensive. “Thanks.”
“It’s what Yelena wanted. Just don’t screw it up.”
“I won’t,” he promised. “I’ll do whatever is best for her, at all times. Not that I planned on being a single parent, but I’ll always put her first.”
“Good,” Tyler said just as Cara started chanting “Dada.” He ignored it the best he could, but knew Matt wasn’t happy about it and was probably hurt by it. “Anyhow, you’ve got your sister to help you, so I think you’ll be fine.”
Matt’s expression narrowed slightly and then nodded. “Yeah, about that. She loves Cara a lot. Not that I blame her...but I get why, you know,” he said and shrugged loosely, “considering she can’t have kids of her own.”
Tyler stilled instantly as the other man’s words sunk in. “What?”
Matt quickly looked like he wanted to take the words back. “Oh, she didn’t tell you. Well, it’s not my place to say anything.” He was quiet for a moment. “Look, all I’m saying is that it’s going to be hard on her, you know, when I go.”
“Go?”
“Back to Seattle,” he replied. “With Cara.”
Tyler’s head reeled, first from the bombshell Matt had dropped about Brooke being unable to have a child, and then from his announcement that he was taking Cara away from South Dakota. “You’re taking her away from here?”
“I have to,” the other man said and shrugged. “I have a life in Seattle, and a home and friends and a business. I can’t run a business from here. Unless you’re saying I have to stay here in order to get custody of my daughter?”
“No,” Tyler said, feeling a heavy weight bear down on his shoulders. “Once legal custody is granted, you can take Cara wherever you want to.”
Matt nodded. “Yeah...good. It’s just that it’s gonna cut Brooke...you know that, right?”
Yes, he knew that. It would break her heart. He also knew there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it.
Chapter Twelve
This is what a broken heart feels like.
Brooke had been nursing one for over twenty-four hours. Ever since Matt had told her the news that Tyler had agreed to grant him custody...and that he was taking Cara back to Seattle. She had an ache inside that couldn’t be appeased, and the one thing she wanted she couldn’t have—which was Tyler’s arms around her. Of course, she couldn’t show it. She couldn’t let her brother know how unhappy she was. Because she was so conflicted about her feelings. In one way, she was delighted that her brother was grabbing his responsibility with both hands and w
as determined to be a dad to Cara. But in other ways, she was as unhappy as she could be. Because she’d miss Cara. And because Tyler would be leaving, too.
“Here you are.”
Tyler’s voice. So familiar. And soon to be so distant. He was leaving with Matt, taking a flight out from Rapid City within hours of her brother. And then she would be alone.
She looked up from her spot in the feed shed. She’d been sitting on a hay bale, hidden from view unless someone took the time to walk around the high stack of bales. Which he’d clearly done. “I’m here. Did you want something?”
“Only to see how you were doing.”
“I’m fine,” she lied and tried not to think how excruciating it was to exchange pleasantries when all she wanted to do was fall into his arms. “Never better.”
“Your aunt called earlier,” he commented. “And your friend Kayla. She said you missed a lunch date with her today.”
Brooke shrugged. “I’ll call and talk to her later.”
He moved around the bales and sat down. “So how about you talk to me now.”
“I don’t feel like it.”
He sighed. “Have you tried talking to your brother about how you feel?”
She shrugged again. “Why would I do that? He has to make his own decisions and live his own life. Cara is his child and he has a right to take her with him wherever he goes.”
“Of course he does,” Tyler said, meeting her gaze steadily. “But considering the circumstances I wonder if he might reconsider his choice and stay here.”
Uneasiness wound up her spine. “What circumstances?”
Tyler shifted his feet and then spoke. “That you can’t have children.”
Heat burned her cheeks as rage and pain surged through her blood. She saw something in Tyler’s eyes she had never wanted to see...pity. Compassion and pity for the poor barren woman who would never have a child of her own. “My brother, I suppose,” she said stiffly. “He had no right to tell you.”
“No, he didn’t,” Tyler agreed. “But I’m glad he did. I understand you a little better now.”
