“How could you lie to me? How could you allow me to fall in love with you, knowing what you’ve done? What you came here for? How can you stand there and tell me that you won’t fight for me, but you’ll help me fight?” Her bottom lip quivers. She walks toward me, anger replacing some of the hurt.
“If I thought I deserved you, I might fight for you. As it stands, I deserve to die in battle, protecting you from the army I helped create to destroy you. I love you, Lily. Cordae turned me into a monster, and you showed me that I don’t have to be that anymore. But there is nothing I can do to make up for all that I have done. You are my hero, and I will gladly die protecting you.”
“Why did you ever save me from that river? You could have let me die. It would have been better than this, than falling in love with someone who doesn’t exist.”
“I do exist. I am Gavin. Everything I told you about my family, my past—it was all true. I just left out some parts, but I do exist. It took falling in love with you to remind me of who I am and not who Cordae needed me to be.”
“Who is Cordae?” she seethes.
“The man trying to take over your kingdom. Tomorrow, he is going to use magic that does not belong to him to take the throne by force.”
“And how does he expect to accomplish that with my father sitting on it?”
“It isn’t just you I’m supposed to kill.” Saying the words out loud gives me an ill feeling. But I can’t lie to her anymore. I won’t.
“So what is his backup plan?”
“He doesn’t know he needs one.”
“So he believes you returned tonight to kill the royal family?”
“Yes.” I nod, ashamed of myself, of everything I’ve done leading up to this point. Wishing I could be Gavin in her eyes, rather than the killer.
“Go,” she whispers, refusing to look at me.
“What?” I cock my head, more than confused.
Now she looks at me. “I said go. I mean it. If my brother or father find you, they will kill you. So leave while you have a chance. Because now I have to go tell my family that they are in trouble, no thanks to you.”
“If death is my punishment, I will take it. I am not asking you to tell your family. I will do it. I can tell them Cordae’s strategy, his every plan. I told you I would give my life protecting you, and I meant it, Lily.” I do not know whether to be relieved that she still cares enough to send me away so I won’t be hung for treason, or horrified that she simply wants to send me away with no chance at redemption—not that I would deserve it anyway.
“It would not be wise for you to be seen leaving my quarters. I suggest you go the way you came and meet me in the grand hall.” She nods, an emotionless expression on her face.
I nod and duck out the door I came in through. I go as fast as my feet will carry me, rushing past servants, the cook—anyone who gets in my way. Hera steps out into my path when I reach the kitchen, but I duck around her, not stopping when she calls my name.
I keep going, running until I’ve reached the great hall. Lily is there, waiting for me. I breathe a sigh of relief, having been afraid she would go without me to speak with the king and queen. I notice they are not in the room, which makes me curious.
“Come. I have requested a private audience for you. I doubt my father would appreciate you alerting the entire castle to the situation before speaking with him on the matter.” She doesn’t glance at me, but talks as she begins walking away. I follow after her, staying behind her.
She takes me to the king’s study, where Elian, Queen Madrid, and King Chavez all await. She walks straight to her mother, burying her face against the queen’s shoulder.
I stand before them, unsure where to begin. “Ten years ago, a man named Saar came into my family’s home and killed my parents. He took me to a man named Cordae. Both men were evil and disgusting, but being eight years old, I did not know how to defend myself or get away.
“Cordae trained me to be his assassin. He filled my head with the desire to be above everyone else. He taught me that I could become better than anyone else. But I had to have power, and be able to instill fear in others. He taught me the ability to hide in plain sight, how to kill from afar, hand-to-hand combat—he taught me everything I know.
“Except how to love. This night, I am supposed to kill all of you, for tomorrow, Cordae rides here with a weapon of magic to take over the throne. If not for Princess Lily, my job would already be done. But your daughter taught me how to love. How to be loved. How to forgive. She taught me how to be Gavin again, and not Derrick. One thing Cordae was adamant about was not being myself anymore, but becoming someone else.
“Now I stand before you as Gavin and not as Derrick. Though I would gratefully accept it, I do not ask for forgiveness or for freedom. Punish me accordingly—allow me to make up for all that I have done wrong. But before you do anything, please let me tell you Cordae’’s plan so you can prepare.”
Lily does not look at me until her name is spoken, but even then it is only a glance before turning away again. Elian’s fists are clenching, his knuckles turning white. I can see in the set of his jaw that he wishes for nothing more right now than to kill me. To cause me the pain I have caused his sister.
The queen looks at me, watery eyes and all, unsure what to say or perhaps think of the whole situation.
And the king—he looks at me with pain in his eyes, maybe unsure whether I’m telling the truth or leading them into a trap. I cannot blame them. I would not trust me either if I were in their places.
But I have to hope that they will give me the chance to save them. To make this right. Because if I don’t, I will lose the only people left that I care about.
“Lily, return to your quarters until someone comes for you. Elian, please tell Armando to get his men ready for war. Madrid, please alert the staff. They will also need time to prepare.” The king addresses everyone in the room but me.
Where I know Lily would once have argued about being sent to her quarters, now she goes quietly. Elian walks past me, not giving me a second glance. Madrid begins to cry as she walks away, no doubt fearing for her family and her people.
“Take a seat, young man,” Chavez says once the others have left. I do as I am told, taking the seat across from the king. “Now tell me. Why are you going against Cordae now?”” He doesn’t appear to believe my story at all.
“I fell in love with your daughter, and she has shown me that Gavin is the real me, not Derrick. I do not want to be a killer. I don’t want to hurt others. The way Lily looked at me is how I want others to see me, and not the way my victims did.””
“Does she return your feelings?” His question is like being stabbed in the heart.
“She did before I told her the truth.”
“If she loved you before knowing the truth, then the truth did not change her feelings. It simply clouded them.” My eyes widen a little as I realize the king sounds as if he is on my side.
“I cannot ask her to forgive me. I do not deserve it, or her.” I raise an eyebrow, only slightly confused as to where this is going.
“Everyone makes mistakes, Gavin. That does not mean they are not redeemable. If my daughter loves you—which is something she does not do easily—then you have to prove to her that you are worthy of it. You have made huge mistakes, but coming here tonight, telling us what is to come, is your first step toward redemption. You are trying to fix your mistakes. That is all anyone can ask of you.
“Now, tell me of Cordae’s plans. We must know how to defend our kingdom if we are to win on such short notice.”
The pain is almost too much to bear. How could I have fallen for a liar and a traitor? And knowing all that I know, how can I still be in love with him? Confused and hurt, I return to my quarters without a fight.
I don’t allow myself to weep, but instead, I go over every detail I know about Gavin—or Derrick, I suppose. Did anything he ever tell me even resemble the truth? Was he lying to all of us in Father’s study
?
How could he come in here and assume the position of a helpless man looking for a job? How could he allow me to get close to him at all if he knew he would have to kill me? That is the worst part, knowing he allowed me to go on adventures with him when he knew that sooner or later, he would have to kill me.
But he didn’t. He chose not to, and instead, warned me of what was about to happen. It doesn’t make sense. None of it does. I wish I could say that I would have preferred he never give me his heart, but it isn’t true.
He claims he is on our side because of me. He claims that I saved him, that I am his hero. But that didn’t go one way. He saved me from myself. I longed to be powerful, to be a warrior, and that is exactly what he stopped me from doing—so I didn’’t end up like him.
He protected me from himself, from what he became. He saved me while allowing me to be strong. As much as I hate him in this moment, I know I can never just walk away from him. He will have to prove that he has changed, that he is truly Gavin once again and no longer Derrick. I don’t know how, but I have to give him a chance.
No matter how much I would prefer not to want him, to need him, I do. We saved each other once. Who is to say we wouldn’t fall back into our reckless selves once again without one another?
A single tear escapes. I wipe it away and push back all the others, refusing to give up on him. Then again, should Father see he is a traitor and nothing more, perhaps it won’t matter after tonight. He may not be alive tomorrow when the battle comes.
I enter my room, unsure what to do with myself. Father will refuse me the chance to take part in the war tomorrow, but I cannot sit idly by, waiting for it to be over. I begin searching through my wardrobe for my breeches and tunic.
I grab them and close the armoire door. I turn to slip out of my dress just as a cloth goes over my head. Strong arms wrap around me, making it impossible for me to squirm away. I kick and scream, trying to escape. “Now, now, Princess, is that anyway to treat the future prince of Elna?” a deep, dark voice whispers in my ear. Shivers go up my spine, and I feel like vomiting.
My hands are bound, as well as my feet. The man throws me over his shoulder and carries me down a set of stairs. I can only assume we’re in the servants’ tunnels. No person would dare take me through the main corridors . . . unless this was all a trap, and the battle has already begun. The throne already lost.
Panic threatens to take over, but I force it down and demand that I pay attention to each turn.
Every thought of giving Gavin another chance vanishes. He lied. He said they were coming tomorrow. It was a distraction so they could do it this very evening. I allow myself to become motionless as I wait for my captor to put me down.
And he does, dumping me onto the cold, hard floor. The cloth is removed from my head, but the bonds still keep my hands and feet together. I wiggle about until I am sitting up. It appears they have taken me to the dungeon.
The room they’ve placed me in is filthy, only a small amount of light coming from the window in the door.
I shimmy my legs up so I can reach my boots. The rope cuts against my skin, but I continue pulling on the bonds, needing only to reach into my boot and retrieve the knife Gavin gave me. He taught me to keep a knife on me.
Did he know they planned on kidnapping me? That couldn’t be. He said he was to kill me—it couldn’t be both. How long had he been trying to warn me that this was coming? How many hours did he spend teaching me to prepare for anything?
I relax my arms, giving my wrists a break from the chafing. Warm liquid—blood or sweat—drips down my fingers. I bend my legs all the way so my boots are as close to my hands as I can get them. Ignoring the screaming pain in my arms, I reach farther until I feel the cold metal of the hilt of my knife.
“Let’s see how long it takes for your love to rescue you. Though he may be a little distracted at the moment—you may be dead before he notices your absence. I suppose that will show you just exactly how much he loves you after all,” that same dark voice taunts from the other side of the door.
I ignore him, relaxing so he does not look inside and see what I am trying to do. “He said the princess had fire. That she would fight back. To be honest, Your Highness, I’m quite disappointed. I thought you would be a little more fun.”” He laughs coldly. I continue ignoring him, wishing I didn’t have a guess as to the “he” he spoke of. Gavin told him I had fire? I wonder if this is all a game to them.
His footsteps echo down the hall as he walks away. My sliver of light returns and I continue trying to reach the knife. The pain in my arm is too much. I sigh and give up on reaching for it. But I don’t need it to cut the rope. Using magic will take a little longer and potentially draw more attention to myself, but if I’m careful, I can make it work.
“Thank you, Gavin. With your information, we may actually stand a chance. If you will excuse me, there are a few things I must take care of.” King Chavez stands.
“Your Majesty, what about me?” I look at my hands, fiddling with them to keep myself busy.
“What about you?” he asks.
“I committed treason, did I not?”
“Help me save my family and my kingdom. Then we will discuss your sentence.” He nods and walks out of the room, leaving me to find my own tasks. I stand and pace, wondering about the best course of action. Do I go to Lily? She will want to fight in the war. But will she want me anywhere near her?
With nothing else to do, I can at least try. I make haste to her room, coming from the corridor rather than the tunnel. I knock softly. Not a sound comes from the room. I push the door ajar, but no one is inside.
I open it further and look around. Clothes are on the floor, as if they were dumped in a hurry. I pick them up and realize it is Lily’s tunic. She wouldn’t try to fight in a dress, would she?
I look around, noticing the door to the tunnels is open. I go toward it. An arrow is stuck in the wall with a note.
Come to the dungeon if you ever wish to see your princess again.
Saar
Anger sears through me as I rip the arrow from the wall and run toward my room. I toss the bed out of my way and reach for my quiver and bow, but they are not where I left them. I look closer at the arrow in my hand. Saar has my weapon of choice.
I slip a dagger from my boot and tear into the mattress, freeing my sword. I tie the sheath to the loop in my breeches and run down the steps on the opposite wall that lead to the dungeons.
The door is open, and the sconces already lit. I stay close to the wall as I peek around the corners. Saar sits on a stool in the middle of the room, my bow and quiver at his feet. All the arrows are scattered, broken in half. All but a single arrow.
I enter the room, searching for Lily as I approach.
“Well, you have come after all. I almost wondered if perhaps I was wrong about you, Gavin.” He says my name with a sickening tone of anger.
“Where is the princess?” I ask through clenched teeth.
Saar stands and unlocks the door beside him. He disappears inside the room. “Leave me alone, you monster!” Lily shouts as Saar drags her from the room. Her hands are tied behind her back. There is chaffing on her ankles which means she was able to escape from those bonds, or Saar needed her to be able to walk. Either way, seeing the cuts on her legs brings me pain.
“You know, I thought long and hard about how I would kill Lily, knowing you would never do it. I tried to warn Cordae that we lost you. You are weak and useless. But he was blinded by your charisma. I, however, have known since this started that something was off. This evening when you left the fort, I followed you, watched your every move. Imagine how surprised I was when you led me right to the princess. I could have killed her already, but I thought perhaps you would like the honors.” He smiles, truly happy with himself, kicking my bow and the arrow to me.
My heart falls, realizing I was so blinded with love and duty and the need to save her that I walked her to her death after all.
&nb
sp; “I will not kill her, and you know it. However, I will gladly kill you,” I retort. Saar must have expected my answer because he steps behind Lily for protection.
“You can kill her, Derrick. Or you can watch her die just as Gavin watched his parents die. Which will it be?” He pulls out a dagger and holds it against Lily’s throat. I pick up my weapons, knowing it is what he wants me to do.
“Wise choice.” He steps to the side, knowing the arrow could pierce him through Lily. The thought is sickening. I nock the arrow, pulling the string back so it is level with my cheek. I take aim, but not at the princess. “Oh, and did I mention that I have a backup plan should you fail to kill the princess?” I notice a form standing behind me.
I turn on my heel and face one of Saar’s goons, his arrow aiming right at my heart. “I don’t want to do this, Derrick. I don’’t want to believe Saar is right about you. Do what you’ve come to do so we can move Cordae’s plans along,” he says as if he knows me.
I look back, now unsure what to do. Either way, I can’t save Lily from both of them. We’re stuck, my arrow pointing at Saar, Saar’s man’’s arrow pointing at me, Lily’s hands tied, Saar just waiting to kill her if I don’t.
“One thing you counted on, Saar, is my needing to be rescued,” Lily says.
I look at her from the corner of my eye as she raises her arms, the ropes falling away, and stabs Saar in the chest. The man behind me moves a centimeter to re-aim, but my arrow buries itself in him.
He crumples to the ground. I turn and find Saar yanking the knife from his chest. If she missed his heart, it was only by a slivers length. “You will pay for that dearly.” He stands, blood seeping over his clothes.
He fists Lily’s hair, yanking her back. She reaches for anything, trying to stop him from plunging the same knife through her heart. I grab the dagger from my waist and hold it by the tip, aiming carefully as I throw it toward Saar.
Once Upon an Assassin Page 15
