by LeAnn Ashers
He is getting me a whole wardrobe; all of my old things were completely destroyed. I didn’t see one article of clothing that hadn’t been cut to bits. I don’t want to worry about my apartment right now, but I will never feel safe staying there again. I wish I knew how they found me, but I can’t bring myself to worry about it too much because, honestly, I feel so safe with Smiley.
After what feels like hours, we finally get done shopping, and some of the ladies who work in the store help pack up all of the stuff. Smiley won’t let me carry anything more than a small bag with underwear in it.
“Smiley, I can carry more than this bag,” I inform him, for the tenth time, on the way out to the truck.
He looks at me, his face set in stone. “My woman isn’t hauling shit when I am around.”
I roll my eyes, and I hear the ladies behind me sighing as they carry the rest of our bags. I have to agree with them. He is really sweet, but I won’t tell him I find his alphaness attractive.
The ladies set the bags on the ground beside the truck, and Smiley puts them in the backseat. All three ladies are staring at him in awe, and I don’t blame them one bit because I am doing the same thing. “How did you find him?” one of them asks.
I smile at her. “He found me.” She smiles back and walks back into the store. Smiley wouldn’t tell me the price of everything, but I know it was a lot because this store isn’t the cheapest place around.
Two motorcycles pull to a stop next to Smiley’s truck. I see on their vests that they are members of the Grim Sinners with Smiley. At first glance I see that they are both older, maybe a few years younger than Smiley.
Smiley pulls me to his side. “Baby, these are two of my club brothers. This is Maverick and Walker.”
I smile at them both, holding out my hand. “It’s nice to meet you both. I’m Adeline.”
They both arch an eyebrow at me before shaking my hand, and they give Smiley a look that I can’t decipher. His hand glides down closer to my ass.
“Do you have any single friends?” Maverick asks. I laugh and shake my head. “I’m sorry.” If I did have any female friends around my age, I would hook them up with these two guys. They are hot—not as hot as Smiley, but close enough. Nobody can compare to Smiley in my eyes.
“What do you do?” Walker asks me.
“I am the nanny for the Devil Souls MC, and my daughter is with Techy.”
“Do you have a daycare?” Maverick asks me, leaning against Smiley’s truck.
“No, but I have thought about it a lot, actually.” I love taking care of people. When I was growing up, it was my ultimate dream to have a daycare center. “I wouldn’t want it to be run out of a regular building in the middle of town. I’d rather it be somewhere private, close to town, where the kids can play outside. It would be like a home environment.” I wouldn’t live there, but I would want the building to look like a home so it would be more comfortable for the kids.
Hopefully, someday my dream will come true, but I am fine with the way things are right now. I miss my babies though. I haven’t seen them in a few days, and they are usually with me every day.
“I guess we better head on home, we have to go pack for vacation,” Smiley tells them.
“It was nice to meet you both!” I tell them, smiling and opening the passenger door. Smiley helps me inside and walks over to the driver’s side. He talks to his brothers for a few minutes before getting inside with me.
“You excited about Hawaii?” he asks me.
“Yes! This will be my first vacation. I have no clue what to expect.” It’s a bit embarrassing—it’s obvious that I have never really lived.
He raises my hand to his lips. “You’re going to have a lot of fun, baby.”
I decide to say exactly what I am thinking, throwing caution to the wind. “I am excited to spend it with you.”
He pulls over to the side of the road and puts the truck in park.
“What are you—” I don’t finish. He grabs my face and kisses me. My hands go to his chest. I guess what I said made him happy. I laugh as his lips drift from my mouth to my cheeks, my forehead, every part of my face.
“If it was left up to me, I would never have you leave.” After throwing out that bombshell, he winks and puts the truck into drive, pulling back into traffic. I am so in trouble when it comes to him.
The Next Morning
“Wake up, sweet girl,” Smiley whispers into my ear, lightly stroking my cheek. My eyes open, connecting with his.
“Morning, Smiley.” I smile and, putting my arms around his neck, I pull him down on top of me. He laughs and kisses my neck.
“Someone is sweet this morning,” he grumbles. I laugh because his breath is tickling my neck. He stops with his hands on my hips. “Is someone ticklish?”
Uh oh. “Uhh, no,” I say as nonchalantly as possible.
His hands drift to my ribs. “I don’t believe you, sweet girl.” Then he lets loose, nipping my neck.
I laugh loudly, rolling, trying to dislodge him from me, but he doesn’t move an inch. Still biting my neck, he digs his fingers into my ribs. Tears roll down my face as I laugh uncontrollably.
A few seconds later he finally stops, props himself up on one arm, and looks down at me. Strands of my hair fan across my face, and he pushes it aside gently. Then his hand cups my face. “You’re the most beautiful woman in the world.”
My heart. Tears pool in my eyes without warning, and I do feel beautiful in this moment, just because of the way he is staring at me. It’s like I can feel it in my soul.
“Why are you crying, sweet girl?” His thumb catches my tear before it can fall.
“You’re so good to me. I am happy, Smiley.” I think back to our conversation, right after our second date, when he asked if I was happy. At the time I was glad to be around him, but I had the weight of the world on my shoulders.
He scoots off the bed and takes me with him. My arms are around his neck, and my legs are around his waist as he hugs me tightly.
“That’s all I ever want you to be, is happy.”
I kiss his shoulder blade. I want him to be happy also.
“I don’t see how anyone in your presence could be anything but happy, baby,” he says, stealing a huge piece of my heart in that split second. I sigh and lay my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes. The way he feels and smells is intoxicating.
I open my eyes and see a tray, on the bedside table, filled with breakfast for two. “Breakfast?” I ask.
“Yes.” He sets me gently back on the bed, and he puts the tray in front of me.
“What time do we have to leave?” I ask him, taking a bite of bacon.
“We need to leave in an hour.”
I am awake instantly because we are going on vacation—my first vacation—in Hawaii. It hasn’t really sunk in yet.
We arrive at a small airport, and I am instantly confused, or maybe just clueless as to how everything works. We drive around the small airport building and, sitting in the middle of this huge runway, is a private plane. No way. This isn’t our ride. “Smiley is this…?” I ask.
He laughs. “Yeah, baby.”
I think I way underestimated the wealth of the MCs. I never expected that I would be on a private jet.
He pulls to a stop, gets out, and helps me out of the truck. Some workers run over and ask Smiley if he wants them to get our bags. They take our bags out of the truck, and Smiley hands off his truck keys. “Ready, baby?”
Hell no. “Yeah, baby.” I smile, resting my cheek on his arm, twining our fingers together. We walk hand in hand up the small stairs into the plane. I am in awe of the beige leather couches and the cream walls. I can’t believe all of this is happening. “It’s beautiful, Smiley.”
He kisses the side of my head, leading me over to the couch, “It’s a long trip to Hawaii, and I wanted to make sure you’re comfortable.” I’m amazed by the thought he put into this and, honestly, I was kind
of scared of being on a plane with so many people. Here it’s just me and Smiley; that makes it so much better.
As the plane starts up, I grip his hand and clench my eyes closed. “It’ll be okay, baby,” he says. My stomach is turning, waiting for us to hit the air.
I can feel the plane start moving, and Smiley wraps his arms around me. My forehead lies against the crook of his neck. In a split second everything is just better.
Before I know it, we are up in the air, and I shift in his arms, yawning. “Sleepy, baby?” He smooths my hair away from my forehead.
“Yeah,” I say sleepily, dragging my fingernails lightly down his arm. I smile, amazed that this is actually my life.
Being with him right now feels good. It’s a good-for-your-soul kind of happiness, and I just want to soak it in.
“What is the first thing you want to do once we get to Hawaii?” His hand is still moving through my hair.
“I want to see the beach.”
“The house is in on the beach, so you can walk outside and be on the beach, baby.”
I look up at him. “You’re so good to me.” I lay my hand on his cheek.
He smiles, and I tug on his beard. “How can I be anything but good to you, sweet girl?” Jeez, my poor heart may just burst.
“Baby.” I sigh because he is the sweetest person in the whole world. I kiss his cheek and return his smile. I laugh and plant a kiss beside his mouth. He tries to kiss me. “Nuh uhh,” I scold, kissing the other side of his mouth, teasing him.
“Sweet girl—” he starts, but I place my lips in front of his, almost touching them.
He cups the side of my face. “Baby,” he whispers. I smile and kiss him. His hand digs into my side, and I open my mouth, laughing. He chuckles before he goes back to kissing me. His lips are moving over mine, soft and gentle but demanding and wanting more. I shiver, moving into a kneeling position to get closer.
His hand falls from my side to my ass. He lifts me up, my legs on either side of him, bringing me almost to his height, making kissing him so much easier. My body is shaking with sensations that I have never felt before. I can feel his dick hardening.
He nips my bottom lip, and I press my mouth harder against his, wanting to get as close to him as I possibly can. My knees slip further down, and my crotch lands against his. Pleasure shoots through me.
Oh, what do I do? Don’t overthink this.
As I move my hips just a little bit, the pleasure hits me again. Does he want me to stop? I open my eyes, embarrassed that I am turned on and grinding against him like a teenager.
I take my lips from his, not sure what to do. I have heard from the girls in the club about the pleasure of being with a man, but I've never had an orgasm in my life. This is the first time I’ve experienced anything that felt good. I am scared because my body feels like it’s on fire, and this is completely new to me. His fingers touch my chin, lifting my face.
“Baby, never be fucking embarrassed. Take what you need from me. If you need me I will more than happy to help you out.” He winks and the worry is gone as I laugh out loud.
But what do I do? What if I’m not ready for something like this? I think.
“Baby, there is a bedroom in the back, why don’t we kiss and then whatever happens happens? If you just go to sleep, that is fine. I will never do anything you don’t want to do.”
I look toward the bedroom; I can see the bed right in front of the door.
“Okay,” I whisper, and he touches my face. “Baby, this is about you. Not me. This has to be something you want. If you are unsure, then we can sit our asses on this couch and watch TV.”
I rest my forehead against his. I could really fall in love with him, and I know one thing: I trust him with everything in me.
Sliding off his lap, I lead him to the bedroom. He twists the knob to dim the light. I climb onto the bed, feeling like I could puke with nervousness. I’m not sure how I am supposed to react at a moment like this. Do I sit here? Do I say something?
I want to be a woman, a real woman who can feel the pleasure I have been told about. The only thing I have ever known is pain. I can’t even have any more kids because of everything that happened on one of the most devastating days of my life.
I want to be normal, and this is what normal people do when they are attracted to each other. I want to experience this.
Smiley looks at me, sitting in the middle of the bed. I am wearing sweatpants and one of his shirts. He told me that I can get ready on the plane, and I thought that was a bit weird, but I understand what he meant now.
I gulp, my mouth incredibly dry. He shuts the door, and I let out a deep breath, trying to calm myself.
“Baby…” I can tell that he is hesitating, which makes me want this even more. I want to prove to myself that this can work between us.
Pushing my hair over my shoulder, I say, “I want this. I want to experience this. I am not ready for sex—that will take longer—but I want to know what it’s like to feel pleasure and feel like an actual woman.” My eyes fill with tears. I am ashamed because I just admitted to him that I haven’t had an orgasm before and I am thirty-nine years old. Pretty pathetic, right?
“I am fucking honored that you want me to be the one to give this to you, baby.” He grins and winks. “You won’t regret it.”
I throw my head back laughing, and the heaviness from before is gone. He smiles and splits the distance from the bed.
Oh shit.
My laughter stops immediately. I follow his every move as he tosses off his shoes and climbs onto the bed next to me. Then he looks at me. Oh my god, I repeat over and over in my head, trying not scream due to the suspense because, honestly, I could die right here.
I have no clue what to expect; I am going into this completely blind. I know women can pleasure themselves; is it bad that I never really thought about it? It has been the last thing on my mind.
His hands cup my face, his eyes search mine, and he kisses me. My worries and my overthinking are gone, and all I can think about is the feel of his lips moving against mine.
He gently pushes me back until my head is lying against the pillow, never taking his lips from mine. One hand is on the bed, holding himself above me, while the other wanders.
His fingertips brush my skin lightly, down my arm, up to my neck, then back down to the small patch of skin left exposed where my shirt has ridden up. He moves his hand under the hem of my shirt, lightly rubbing, and I shiver as goose bumps break out across my skin. His lips slip from mine and touch my neck. I jolt in shock, tingles running down my body. His hand is, little by little, moving up my stomach until he stops right below my breast. Then he leans back, his hands on the bottom of my shirt.
“Baby?” he asks.
I nod and sit up, and he pulls the shirt off over my head. Then he reaches behind me, unsnapping my bra in a split second. My face is hot from blushing so hard, and it’s literally taking everything in me not to cover myself.
He can see the scars littering my body. I have scars between my breasts that look like knife wounds, not to mention the scars on my back and between my thighs.
“You’re beautiful, baby.”
I lie back and he touches the edge of my pants, asking for permission to strip the rest of my clothes off. I throw caution to the wind. “Yeah,” I tell him. I lift my butt and he takes my pants off, right along with my underwear, leaving me completely, utterly naked in front of him. Every single scar, bump, and mark on my body is exposed; I am completely bare in front of him.
Then it hits me: I am not scared, and I don't want to run into the other room. The way he is looking at me makes me think that all of my imperfections aren’t so bad.
“Adeline, you’re so beautiful.” His voice is hoarse with emotion. He comes back to me, kissing me on the lips before continuing down my neck. I close my eyes, just giving myself over to the sensation of everything. Giving all of my trust to him. I am going to be st
rong and live.
I made this promise to myself.
My hand is buried in his hair, and his lips are circling my collar bone. Now they’re between my breasts, and they move down my scar. I bite my lip so I don’t cry. I have been so self-conscious about my body, and it’s like he is letting me know that this doesn’t matter in his eyes.
His lips close around my nipple, sucking deeply, and all my tears are gone. “Oh god,” I manage to get out. He moves to the other nipple, doing the exact same thing, and my hands are shaking as I grab the sheet. The tip of his tongue curls before he pulls my nipple deeply into his mouth. My toes curl into the blanket, and he pulls away and continues down my body, kissing further and further down.
My eyes shoot open. His face is directly in front of my pussy.
“Smiley, what…” I trail off, not knowing what to say.
He smiles and opens my legs so he gets a full and very personal view.
Oh my god, what is he doing? I can’t form the words. He winks, ducking his head, and his tongue circles my clit.
Never mind.
This is unlike anything that I ever imagined. I grip the sheet as hard as I can, my head tilted to the side, my teeth biting the pillow so I don’t scream. “I think I am going to die,” I manage to get out. My body is so stiff. A finger slips up my pussy right as he sucks my clit deep and hard.
Forget biting the pillow. I fall over the edge and come hard.
He wraps his arms around me, and his lips touch my forehead. I smile because this is such a huge thing for me. When I open my eyes, Smiley is directly in front of me. I can’t describe the way he is looking at me, but I will never forget it. I’ve never seen him with such a tender expression. “My beautiful, sweet girl.”
He lies next to me, and I roll over and lay my head against his chest. “Thank you, baby.” That was totally not what I expected.
“Anytime, literally. Just say ‘get on your knees’ and I am there, baby.”
Did he really just say that? I laugh so hard that I snort, and he laughs with me. I yawn, closing my eyes, and wrap my arm around his stomach. “Sleepy, my girl?” he asks, his fingers running down my back. I shake my head, thinking about all of the worrying I did.
