by M. Never
I open the card first. It’s plain white with perforated edges and reads:
That he does, I think to myself as I grin like an idiot.
I rip off the paper and flip open the flat box. Tara curls her lip. “It looks just like the one you already wear, except with a white ribbon.”
I touch the necklace with the little diamond heart. “It has a special meaning.”
“It looks like a freakin’ expensive collar if you ask me.” I flick my eyes up at her and try to hide my smile.
“I said it has special meaning.”
“Seriously, Ellie. I don’t want to know what freaky shit you and Kayne are into. He’s so possessive, I wouldn’t be surprised if he made you wear a collar.” I nearly lose it. If she only knew!
“I’m ready to start celebrating.” Tara slinks off the bed.
God, me too. I fall back onto the pillow and stare up at the ceiling, balancing the box on my stomach. The last twelve months have not been easy. Kayne and I adjusting as roommates was the least of our problems. Not only did my body need to heal, but so did my mind. When Jett told me Kayne was more loyal than a dog, he meant it. He never left my side. He came to every physical therapy session and therapist appointment. He sat beside me as I recounted every horrific minute with Michael, held me as I cried every tear, and comforted me after every single nightmare. Sex was a challenge. Not because I didn’t want it, but because intimacy was difficult. I was disconnected from my emotions and had somehow lost my sense of security. There was a time I thought I was never going to get out from under the depression and fear. It had taken a while before things started to get easier, before I started to feel more like myself. After about six months, my therapist suggested I find something positive to concentrate on. That’s when Kayne and I decided to set a date. May sixteenth, to be exact. Some may think wedding planning is stressful, and I guess that’s true in some cases. Not in ours. If anything, it was therapeutic. It gave us something to look forward to, it helped fortify our very new and fragile relationship, and sparked hope. So here I lay, in a penthouse suite on Maui, about to become someone’s wife.
I’ve never looked more forward to a sunset in my life.
“Ellie!” Tara yells. “Get up!”
“I’m up!” I yell back.
After a morning massage, a nice long hot shower, and several mimosas courtesy of Tara, I’m ready to start the beautification process. Hair, nails, makeup, dress—in that order, apparently.
By midafternoon, my hotel room—and future honeymoon suite—is buzzing with people. My mother and sister, of course, the hair stylist and manicurist and Mark. Yes, Mark. Like he would be left out of all the girlie fun. Plus, he wanted a manicure. How could I say no?
“You know, it’s because of me that Kayne and Ellie met.” He grins at the older woman with long, jet-black hair filing his nails. She just nods and smiles. I roll my eyes. He’s been telling everyone that. Like he hooked us up or something. In reality, he was just responsible for letting two strangers’ paths meet, but we won’t burst his bubble and tell him that.
There’s a knock at the door.
“I’ll get it!” Tara announces, hopping off her stool, hair half curled.
“Oh, hi.” She sounds almost disappointed as Jett walks in. My mother and I glance knowingly at each other.
“Hey, sweet thing.” Jett walks over and kisses me hello just as the stylist finishes pinning a white orchid into my hair. “Very nice.” He looks at the masterpiece she’s been working on for the last hour. After about a million trials, I decided to wear it down in loosely textured curls accented with the flower.
“Jealous you didn’t do it?” I jest.
“Maybe.” He laughs, his aqua eyes sparkling back at me in the mirror. “You finally got that haircut.”
“Just a trim,” I joke. “What are you doing here?”
“I come bearing gifts.” He holds up a small wrapped box and a large card.
I look at him confused. “Juice already dropped off my wedding present from Kayne.”
“He got you two.” Jett takes my hand and helps me up. “And he asked that you open it in private.”
I glare at Jett. I don’t like the sound of this.
“Just need to borrow her for a sec,” he announces as he pulls me into the bedroom.
“If you think I’m going to let you clamp any part of me, you have another thing coming.” I cross my arms. “It’s my wedding day, and I’m not going to walk around like a cat in freakin’ heat!”
Jett looks at me like he’s out to bust a gut. His golden hair is styled back, and he’s wearing a white T-shirt and dress pants. “I don’t know what’s in the box,” his lips twitch fitfully, “but I’m pretty sure it isn’t a clit clamp. He wants you to open the card first.”
“Okay.” I take them from him. “If it’s nothing kinky then why the privacy?”
“I never said it wasn’t anything kinky, he just didn’t tell me what it was.”
I roll my eyes as I slide my finger under the flap. My eyes water immediately. The card has one simple picture on the front. A little boy holding a cupcake. I flip it open to a long, handwritten note inside.
Ellie,
I’m not very good with words. I’ll probably never be able to express fully the way I feel, but I’ve wanted to tell you something I’ve never told anyone before. Not even Jett. It’s not something I’m proud of and not something I talk about. Ever. But when I was seventeen, I tried to commit suicide. It was the darkest time in my life. I was alone, homeless, and just wanted it all to end. I don’t mean to upset you by telling you this. It’s just ever since that day, a small part of me has always wished my attempt was successful. I’m sure you’re wondering why I picked today of all days to tell you this. It’s because, for the first time since that day, I woke up and was thankful to be alive. Thankful I failed because the happiness I feel outweighs every bad moment in my life. Every. Single. One. And it’s all because of you. You fill a piece of me I never knew existed, never thought I deserved. You’re the best part of all my sides, all my faces. You’re the glue. Thank you for being everything. My strength, my light, my hope, my warmth.
I love you always,
Kayne
By the time I finish reading the letter, I’m a blubbering mess and Jett is consoling me.
“What the hell was in that letter?”
I just shake my head and wipe my eyes. “The truth.” I smile.
“Are you okay?” Jett slides his hands up and down my arms and examines me closely.
“Yes. Fine, actually.”
He stares for a few seconds more. “Do I need to beat him up for making you cry?” He sounds like an overprotective older brother.
“No.” I laugh, glad my makeup isn’t done yet. “A black eye would look terrible in pictures.
“True. Why don’t you open your present?” he suggests.
“Yeah, good idea.” I sniff as I rip off the silver paper and pop open the small gift box. “Oh!” I gasp as a pair of diamond earrings stare back at me—ones that look exactly like my engagement ring. Two cushion-cut stones with a halo of pink diamonds around them.
“Perfect. Just like the girl who is going to wear them.” Jett smiles.
“You just always know what to say,” I quip.
“It’s a curse.” He sighs dramatically.
“I’m sure,” I respond drily as he kisses me firmly on the cheek.
“My work here is done.”
I grab his arm. “Not quite yet.”
I walk over to the closet and retrieve a large, white flat box and hand it over. “Make sure he opens it in private.”
Jett frowns. “Oh, no. Is it going to make him cry?”
I shrug playfully. “It might bring him to tears.”
I FIGHT WITH MY VEIL as it blows around in the wind. My stomach is in knots and my heart is pounding in my ears. I have been hidden in a small alcove for the last twenty minutes as the guests arrive and take their seats. I’m so n
ervous, I’m bouncing in my barefoot sandals.
“You still have time to run, kid,” my father jokes.
“Kayne would find me.” I laugh nervously. It’s completely true. Besides, I may be nervous, but I know I could never live without him. Now more than ever.
I check myself one last time in the reflective wall of the ‘bride’s staging area.’ At least that’s what the wedding coordinator called it. My hair is falling in perfect waves around my face, my makeup is flawless, and my dress is hugging and pinching in all the right places. I went for something simple and romantic—a diamond white, backless A-line with double spaghetti straps and an empire waist. My favorite part—it has pockets.
“Time!” the wedding coordinator pokes her head in and announces just as the procession music starts to play.
Here goes everything.
Clutching my bouquet made of white roses and blue orchids, my father begins to lead me toward the aisle. We turn the corner to an expansive view of the Pacific Ocean, several small rows of chairs, and an arbor draped with white fabric, strings of crystals, and two small chandeliers. But as magnificent as the setup is, it’s only Kayne I see. Once our eyes lock, it’s like I gravitate toward him, float almost. He’s dressed in a white buttoned-down shirt and dress pants, the blue of his irises ablaze in the sunlight. His expression is composed, yet full of emotion all at the same time.
My father lifts my veil and kisses my cheek like we practiced at the rehearsal the night before and then gives me away. I take Kayne’s hand with a shaky breath as I step under the arbor with him. The smile that suddenly beams from his face nearly knocks me over, and I can’t help but laugh nervously, tears stinging my eyes.
“You look so beautiful,” he breathes right before the officiant begins.
“Dearly beloved . . .”
“HAPPY, MRS. STEVENS?” KAYNE ASKS as we sway steadily to the encore of our wedding song.
“Deliriously, Mr. Stevens.” When Kayne suggested taking my last name, I was a little stunned at first. But when he explained why, there was no way could I refuse. He finally has a home and the family he’s deserved all along.
“You almost ready to sneak out of here?” he asks, his breath tickling my ear.
“Yes.” I nestle up against him as David Cook sings about fading and colors bleeding into one.
“Me, too,” he growls, pulling me closer.
I grasp onto the last seconds of the song, trying to memorize what’s left of the night. Pink candle holders hanging from fishing wire over the round tables on the beach. The devoured red velvet cupcake tower, my parents talking and laughing, Jett holding his infant daughter, Layla, and Tara and Juice dancing way too close for comfort a few feet away.
When the song ends, Kayne still holds me close, kissing my temple lovingly.
We didn’t accept any gifts for the wedding. Instead, we asked for donations to our foundation. To Catch a Falling Star. Kayne, Jett, London, and I started it a few months ago. It was my second positive thing to concentrate on. It gives victims of sexual abuse and human trafficking a chance to see paradise. We’ve already sent over twenty families on the vacation of their dreams. I plan to expand the organization once I finish college.
“Let’s go.” Kayne tugs on my hand to start our hurried goodbyes.
As we walk to the elevator, we catch sight of Juice and Tara huddled in a corner, kissing. Kayne tries to let go of my hand, no doubt to interrupt them, but I pull him back.
“Leave them alone. They’re consenting adults.”
Kayne frowns just as the elevator doors open. “That’s what I’m afraid of.”
I giggle and haul him inside. “I’m the only consenting adult you have to worry about at the moment.” I pull his face to mine and kiss him passionately, dying for the feel of his tongue against mine.
“Mmm.” He pushes me up against the wall, easily distracted as he devours me, running his hands all over my body, causing my nipples to harden instantly.
The doors ding open, and we break apart restlessly. Before we exit the elevator, Kayne lifts me into his arms.
“What are you doing?!” I throw my arms around his neck.
“Carrying you over the threshold. Duh.” He steps out, and then walks down the hall to our suite.
I laugh freely as we walk through the living room toward the bedroom, then inhale sharply when he opens the door and we are engulfed in candlelight. There must be one hundred white pillar candles lit all around the room.
“Someone was busy,” I muse.
“Who?” He responds sarcastically.
“Did we take a funny pill tonight?” I ask as he sets me down.
Kayne shakes his head. “A happy pill.”
“Same differen—” The last syllable of the word is cut off as he smothers me with a kiss so deep, he actually forces me to lean back.
“As much as I love you in this dress, it’s time for it to come off,” he pants as he pulls at the straps, yanking the top straight down. I barely have time to unzip before he rips it completely off. Animal. He then starts pushing me toward the bed, our mouths fused together, his hands kneading my naked breasts.
“Did you like my wedding present?” I ask as he forces me down.
He pauses, ogling me wickedly. “I loved it. I had to go jerk off in the bathroom while I looked at it.”
I smile. I wracked my brain trying to figure out what to give Kayne as a wedding present. The logical answer was me. So I had an ultra-sexy boudoir album made. Lots of lacy underwear, pearls, and bows. It was one step above a porno magazine.
“By the way, who took those pictures?” His eyes storm.
I bite my lip. “London.”
“Oh, really?” his irritation turns to curiosity.
“She’s really good with a camera,” I responded apprehensively.
“I saw that. Several times.” He bites my neck. “You two didn’t do anything you weren’t supposed to?”
I swallow thickly. “Can I plead the fifth?”
“You bad girls.” He manhandles me, smacks my ass, and then pinches it hard. “Next time Jett and I will be the ones with the camera.”
“Yes, Kayne,” I purr.
“Damn straight.” He caresses my behind and grinds his erection between my legs. “Did you like my present?”
“Which one?” I lift my hips and press my pussy right up against him.
“Both of them,” he groans.
“Yes.” I kiss him gently. “The second one made me cry.”
“I didn’t mean to upset you.” He tells me earnestly.
“It’s okay. I’m glad you told me. I’m glad you’re not carrying around those feelings anymore.” I touch his cheek.
“Me, too.” He chokes out the words, and my heart splits.
“I have a second present for you,” I tell him. No unhappiness tonight.
“Oh really? I’m starting to enjoy getting presents.”
I nearly gnaw through my lip this time. “Want it now?”
“If you want to give it to me.”
“I do.”
“Why do you sound nervous?”
“Because I am.” I push him lightly so he rolls off me and retrieve another large white box from the closest. This one with a red ribbon around it.
I place it next to him. “Go ahead. Open it.”
He pulls the box toward him inquisitively and unties the ribbon while I wring my hands together like a lunatic. Once he removes the top, his face falls. Oh, shit. He cocks his head as if studying the contents of the box.
“You don’t like it?” I ask, feeling foolish. Maybe he thinks it’s too soon.
“I . . .” He starts pulling out everything that’s inside. White ears and a long bushy tail, a new white collar with my tag, matching wrist cuffs, and a studded leash.
He looks up at me silently, candlelight flickering on his face.
“We don’t have to . . . I just thought . . .” I scramble, trying to stuff everything back in the box. How ridiculou
s do I feel?
“Ellie, stop.” Kayne stands up and grabs my wrist, pulling me into his body. His erection like a stone slab against my thigh. “Are you ready?”
I glance up at him timidly through my eyelashes. “Yes. I’m ready. I’m ready to get back to us.” And it’s the truth.
“I don’t want to do anything to upset you. To trigger anything.”
“You won’t. I want this.”
He runs the pad of his thumb along my cheek, staring deeply into my eyes as if trying to read my soul. Ever since Michael, Kayne has been overly cautious with our sex life, fearful his dominance might spark a flashback or deter my progress in some way. It’s not illogical—my therapist said it could happen. But it never has. If anything, I feel most safe when I submit, and I need that security. The same way Kayne needs to hear me say his name. I’ve been slowly hinting that I’m ready to move things to the next level; that I really am ready to get back to us.
“Please,” I implore him.
“Please, what?”
“Unleash the beast. I need both our monsters to come out.”
Kayne breathes heavily, no doubt at war with himself. He never has been able to deny me when I press him to take control.
“On one condition.”
“What’s that?”
“No begging or pleading tonight. I want you to come freely, like a waterfall. I want this night to be as pleasurable for you as it is for me.”
“Okay,” I agree, ready to attack him.
“Good. I love you.” He kisses me tenderly.
“I love you, too.”
“Now sit on the edge of the bed,” he instructs.
I sit immediately. He pulls the flower from my hair then picks up the ears and places them on my head. His eyes dilate and something in my stomach jolts. “Stay.” He runs a finger under my chin. I’m molten inside already.
He then steps back and pops open the bottle of champagne sitting in the ice bucket on the small table adjacent from the bed. He comes to stand in front of me holding it with one hand.
“Take my clothes off.”
I scoot forward in just my white satin bikini briefs and garters adorned with a bow on the back of each thigh. I quickly unbutton his shirt and push it off his shoulders. It falls to the ground exposing his perfectly formed tattooed body. Yes, Kayne is human perfection. And why shouldn’t he be? He works out like an animal. Ripped abs, strong chest, and chiseled arms—I can’t wait to run my tongue over every pristine inch of him. I take off his pants next, bringing me face to face with the tip of his cock. I want to dart my tongue out and lick it, but I’ll behave and wait to do as I’m told.
