"Hi, uh, I forgot, what was your name again?"
She blushed bright red, not at all in the same way my baby blushes.
"It's Helen." Now she was huffy.
"Yeah, right, Helen, this is my girl Shania, thanks for seating us." I dismissed her as I sat my girl, who was trying hard not to laugh.
"You are so bad Donovan, that poor woman."
"She shouldn't have tried to disrespect you, that will never be acceptable to me."
"Are you always this attentive or is this an anomaly?"
I reached over the table and took her lips before answering her, knowing that all eyes were on us.
"With you, I'll always pay attention you can count on it."
Dinner was spectacular, we laughed we talked; we kissed. It was as though we were the only two people in the room, after a while even the whispers faded away and ceased to matter, we were so caught up in each other.
The years in between melted away as we got caught up. I was happy to see, that whatever the jerk had done, didn't have any lasting effect on her, I was also hoping I had something to do with that.
"You do know I'm completely in love with you don't you?" I admit I sideswiped her with that one, we had been staring into each other's eyes for a good two minutes, not saying anything, just enjoying each other, when I came at her out of left field.
I didn't give her a chance to answer; I just took her lips and sealed it with a kiss. I think I tasted her more than I tasted my meal, and had no doubt our love story would be bandied about in every corner of the cove come sunrise.
I finally released her lips and she sighed before looking at me blurry eyed. It gave me a kick to the gut to know I had that kind of effect on her.
Chapter 11
DONOVAN
"Donovan, l, you can't just say something like that and just...nothing."
"I don't need you to say it back to me Shania, not until you're ready, if you're ever ready. I just thought you should know; there's no point in beating around the bush is there? This way, at least you know where I stand.
I'm totally and completely in love with you. I always have been. It would make me the happiest man in the world if you felt the same, but my love for you have nothing to do with your feelings for me, do you understand what I'm saying?"
“I'm not sure..." she frowned in confusion.
"Simply put, it means that if you decide you could never love me, it wouldn't stop me from loving you, nothing ever could."
"Doesn't it scare you to put yourself out there like that, what if I used it against you?"
"My heart would never betray me like that. I know you're it for me. I have no problem waiting for you to catch up."
I knew what the prick had done to her. Seeing her here now though, I don't think he hurt her heart as much as it was her pride. Still, she might still be a bit tender from that ordeal. I can live with that, what I couldn't live with was her ever having any doubts about us.
Her and I have been in the making for almost ten years, maybe longer. I want her heart and love, more than I want my next breath, but when she gives it, I want her to be sure. If it takes everything I’ve got, I’ll spend the rest of my life proving to her just how much she means to me. It’s what she deserves after all.
"I've admired, adored and loved you from afar for a very long time love, there's no rush, you don't have to declare your undying love for me, take all the time you need, just know that at the end of it, is me."
"What if I told you that I've been harboring those same feelings for you as well?" She bit her lip and looked down at our joined hands. I had to take a minute to clear the lump from my throat, before I could answer her.
"Then I'd say I'm doubly blessed. I fell in love with the girl; I can't wait to get to know the woman. I'm going to enjoy getting to know you all over again; you with me?"
She nodded with a smile and we sealed it with another of those mind-blowing kisses. I had to stop myself from going too far; we were in a room full of people after all, so I pulled back.
I brought her hand to my lips for a kiss while gazing into her eyes. I saw us there, in her eyes, our future our joy. I felt it for the first time, like a live thing, and vowed to myself then and there, that I would do everything in my power to make us happen.
“Well hello you two, are we having fun this evening?” One of the town’s premier gossips, Ava Marie stopped at our table just then, giving me time to cool down.
“Good evening Ava, nice crowd tonight.” I said tongue in cheek. I knew she didn’t give a fig about her restaurant’s steady business at this particular moment; she was here on a gathering mission.
The fact that she was best buds with my future mother in law, not to mention my own mother, gave me a good idea whose ears she’ll be talking off come closing.
“Never mind that you scamp; Shania, don’t you look pretty, it’s so nice to have you home. I hope your momma gave you my excuses, I couldn’t find anyone to cover me last night.”
“Oh that’s okay Ms. Ava, it’s great to see you now though. You’re looking smashing as usual.”
The older woman beamed under her admiration as she asked her if she’d done something new with her hair and all that other nonsense women talked about that put men in a coma.
It was a testament to what the shock of seeing us together had done to the town’s people, because not one of them asked about the floater.
***
"I'm not ready to take you home yet. I want to walk with you in the garden at my place. I want to watch you under the moonlight, while sitting in the gazebo that I know I had built for you when I bought our home."
"Wow…you're amazing, how could you have loved me this much for all those years and never did anything about it?"
"You were too young Shania. I couldn't steal your freedom-your youth. I had mine, you needed to spread your wings, that's what was in the cards for you, now it appears to be our time."
I signaled for the check, all of a sudden I didn't need the audience anymore, the only one I had really needed to stake my claim to was her. Now she knows, now we can move forward without any of the awkwardness of new relationships.
I no longer had any doubt that her brother was right, he had been right about me after all hadn't he? So if that spark had been there all those years ago, I was banking on it still being there. Only this time, I planned to ignite it into a blazing inferno.
I paid the check and guided her out with my hand in the small of her back. It seems I had to be constantly touching her. Having her close, the way I wanted, after all this time, left me in a constant state of need. I was going to have to figure out how to spend as much time with her as possible in the foreseeable future.
Knowing me, there was only so much I could take where she was concerned. I figure if we fit in as many dates as possible close together, that that ought to speed things up. Because there was no way I was going to make it much longer without taking her to my bed.
I had years of dreams and fantasies to make into reality. Things I’d always imagined doing with and to her.
Knowing that I no longer had to shelve those feelings, I felt like a raging bull trying to get out of his pen. It was going to be fun seeing how long my control held out.
***
We made it as far as the passenger door before I was kissing her again, this time with more force, more passion. Her small body fit so perfectly in my arms, I wanted to never let her go.
"I'm going to love loving you my Shania." I kissed her nose before buckling her into her seat.
"You know you're spoiling me right."
"That's my job princess, it will always be my job from now on, so get use to it." I stole another kiss just for the hell of it.
We made the drive in comfortable silence, holding hands and listening to old Sixties Goldies music we both seemed to enjoy.
At home, I led her straight to the back of my property where there was a romantic gazebo with a rose vine creeping up the sides, and marble b
I saw her here, with me, and one day, hopefully in the not too distant future, with my kids.
Damn, I had to change my thinking; I was getting hard just imagining it. Not that I hadn’t imagined it a hundred times before, but this time it was different, this time it could actually happen.
""If you get too cold let me know; there's a space heater out here."
I sat next to her, my arms going around her as she laid her head on my chest.
"What if I need more time than you're willing to give?" The question came out of nowhere but I was ready.
"Not gonna happen, I've already waited ten years, not saying I want to wait another ten, but I'm willing to go at your pace, you're more than worth the wait." I kissed her head and hugged her close.
She started to cry, soft sobs at first that tore at my heart. Then they became racking sobs that scared the hell out of me.
"Shit babe, what did I do? I'm sorry." I rubbed her back comfortingly, while trying to dry her tears and figure out just what the fuck I’d done.
"Come on Shania, please baby, just tell me what I did, please."
She shook her head while clutching my shirt in her fists.
I don’t recall a woman’s tears moving me to madness, or tearing up my insides before. I felt out of my depth here because there was no physical threat for me to vanquish. Just heart rending tears that left me feeling helpless.
"You didn't do anything, it was me. I...I…oh my…I almost married someone else, someone who so isn't deserving of me, what if I had gone through with it?
I would never have known what you've made me feel in the last few hours, never felt so loved and cherished. How is it possible that that could've happened?"
"Shh, baby, calm down.” She was hyperventilating in my arms. “The important thing is that it didn't. There's nothing to be ashamed of, I've had relationships over the years too you know."
"Yeah I know Chase, I've been knowing since I was sixteen." She punched me playfully in the gut. At least she wasn’t crying her heart out anymore; damn, I never knew a woman’s tears could have such an effect on me.
"Hey none of that now; you can't hold those past flings against me, besides, they were just practice until I got to the real thing, and trust me babe none of them could ever come close."
I tried for a lighter note because I really wasn’t ready for what her tears did to me. I wanted to punch someone, but there was no one to punch.
We spent the rest of our date talking softly, sharing some of what we’d missed in each other’s lives over the past few years.
The years just seemed to melt away under the stars as I stole as many kisses as I could, while holding her close to my heart.
When it was getting too late to keep her out anymore I hated letting her go. We were both dragging our feet on our way out to the car.
I took my time driving her back to her house, plotting my next move all the way. I plan to see her everyday if possible.
By the time I was through, she won’t even remember the dickhead she’d been engaged to.
I walked her to the door, stealing one last kiss before the Spalding boys descended upon us. I wouldn't put it past them to be spying, the jerks.
"I'll see you tomorrow, we'll do something, I don't know what yet but I'll think of something. Sleep tight sweetheart and dream of me." I kissed her hair and walked away.
Chapter 12
DONOVAN
When I got back home that night I had to call her. Like two teenagers who’d just found first love, we talked until the wee hours of the morning, when she finally fell asleep. Damn.
I wasn't sure how much longer I could keep myself from wanting more. I had to keep reminding myself that we had only just begun and that all the years I'd spent wanting her didn't play into the situation.
On the one hand I didn't want to rush her, and on the other it felt like I had waited a lifetime.
I stopped by the flower shop early the next day on my way to work. This morning’s fare was pink and white roses.
Regardless of what the Spalding men had said, she still got seven dozen again.
This time I remembered to send her mom some tulips, which were her favorite.
I hit the ground running from the time I reached the station, apparently I had been right and our DB was the missing agent.
The captain was fighting with the Feds over jurisdiction, which was a losing battle if I ever saw one.
The guy was like a bull terrier, he knew the outcome, but he will argue to the death, just for the sake of argument.
"Chase, get in here."
Oh boy, he's on the warpath; and just how in the hell did I get dragged into it?
I just wanted to get to my office, call my girl and wish her a nice day. Guess that was gonna have to wait.
"Sir." There was another man in the room, two actually. I didn't see the second one at first, since he was off to the side leaning against the wall.
"Lieutenant, meet Agents Carter and Everett, they're here to take over our case."
I looked the two men over, gave a nod and kept my mouth shut.
"So whaddya think Chase, should we let these men just come in to our backyard and take over?
"Captain, it's not a matter of letting us do anything, our authority in this matter supersedes yours, so really this is just a courtesy."
"Dorian...."
Nice guy, what an asshole; of course now the captain was red in the face and ready to spit nails.
The one named Everett started to admonish his partner. Something about his name caught my attention, where had I heard that name before?
It plagued me the whole time that the captain was arguing back and forth with the two men. I chose to stay out of the fray.
I never fought a battle I didn't have any interest in winning. I was more interested in where I had heard this guy's name, it seemed so important for some reason, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.
Dorian Carter, Dorian Carter, where have I heard that name before? The man himself didn't look familiar.
Dark, decent looking I guess, kinda stocky, but nothing about him rang a bell.
Dorian, Dorian, Dorian. What the fuck? You have got to be shitting me, there's no fucking way. I studied him with new eyes this time. Hate at first sight.
Then my mind went on a wild goose chase and I went into protection mode.
What the fuck was he doing in my town? If he went anywhere near her I'd fucking end him.
It was one thing when he was a faceless nemesis, someone I had no hopes of ever meeting in this lifetime, I mean what are the fucking odds?
But to have him here, front and center in living color was a whole other kettle of fucking fish.
I had to warn her, or should I? I didn't want her anywhere near this scumbag. Was I jealous? I’m pretty sure there was some of that in there as well.
There's no way this was a coincidence, his being here. He had to have asked for this assignment. And there could only be one reason he would do that.
Unless of course he knew about what had gone on here. The detective in me was trying to fit the pieces together.
If I were a twisted fuck, I would actually suspect him of murdering the other man. But that’s just fucked up thinking.
I wonder if he could feel the venom coming his way, the piece a shit? I should fuck him up just on principle.
Oh fuck, forget Shania, if the Spalding boys got wind of his presence in our town I'll have bigger problems on my hands. They'd kill his ass.
"Captain I need a few hours personal time." I asked in the middle of his little powwow that wasn’t going anywhere.
"You, personal time! What, did hell freeze over? Okay, okay go ahead get outta here, since it appears we're good for nothing anyway, except standing around with our thumbs up our ass."
I rushed out of the room and left the three of them to their argument.
This wasn't something I could tell her over the phone, it had to be in person. It was a good thing she had told me about him herself and I hadn't just heard about him from Justin, because I would have no way of explaining what I was about to do.
Shit, Justin. I called him en route; he picked up on the second ring.
"Jus, you home?"
"Nope, I'm at the green house that used to be my home."
"Whatever, listen we have a problem."
"What you need bro?"
"Promise me you'll stay calm and not go off the deep end here, better yet where's Matt?"
"Uh-uh, you called me, you got me, now what's on your mind?"
"It's Carter."
"The fuck he do now, he been bothering my sister?"
"No, he's here."
"I'm on my way."
"No Jus, I'm coming to you, I need you to calm the fuck down, find your fucking brothers and don't let Shania out of your sight until I get there."
I hung up and tried to call Matt, which is what I should've done in the first place. There was no answer. Fuck!
I called Shania next just to hear her voice, make sure she was alright and safe at home.
"Hi baby, you sleep okay?
"Yes I did thanks to you, how could I not when I fell asleep to your wonderful voice in my ear lulling me to sleep?
Thanks for my beautiful flowers by the way, no matter what my brothers say I love them. So does mom by the way, dad, not so much, I think there was talk of maiming you." She laughed.
In the last few days since her return, she's been laughing more and more. It hurt that I was gonna be the one to take that away from her.
I hope I was enough to keep her happy, that he didn't still have any hold on her, or her heart.
"I'm on my way to you love."
"You are, don't you have work?"
"Later." I wasn't even going to broach the subject with her over the phone.
I wanted to be there when I told her. Wanted to look into her eyes when I gave her the news.
I needed to see her reaction, don't ask me why, it was just very important to me.
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