Mary took a few stairs up and their words became clearer. Perhaps she ought to be ashamed of eavesdropping, but she had to know what Ruby was saying; the young lady no longer spoke to her and avoided her when possible, and Mary longed to reconnect with her—even if at a distance. But like most eavesdroppers, what she overheard did not bring her comfort.
“...She knows what he did to me. She knows how much it hurt me. Yet now, she defends him and insists on my forgiveness as though this was naught but a petty squabble,” said Ruby.
There was no mistaking the subject of their conversation, and each accusation was a needle, burying deep in Mary’s heart.
The study door creaked open, and Ambrose popped his head out.
“I heard raised voices—” he began, but Mary hushed him and stepped closer to the third-floor landing. Ambrose came to her stair and took her hand with a questioning glance. Mary held a finger to her lips and pointed to Conrad’s bedchamber.
Mary knew that listening would only add to her pain, but no amount of fear could pry her from that stair as Conrad stirred Ruby into speaking her thoughts aloud. Despite sobs breaking her words and heartache filling her tone, Ruby’s voice grew clearer. Ambrose drew closer, wrapping an arm around Mary’s waist, his expression crumpling. Chin wobbling, her own heart rent in twain as Ruby’s words echoed through the air.
“But what can we do?” whispered Mary, turning her tearful eyes on her husband.
Ambrose took her by the hand and led her down to the study, closing the door behind them. Mary turned into him, and Ambrose wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight.
“How can we heal this rift between them and Lucas?” asked Mary.
His chest rose and fell in a sigh, and Ambrose murmured, “I am not certain we can.”
“Must we choose between Lucas and Conrad?”
With a few prods, Ambrose led Mary to the sofa beside the fireplace and sat down beside her. “But what if Conrad is right and we are doing more harm than good by supporting him? Lucas claims he wishes to help, but he does not follow through with his promises.”
“You think his remorse is feigned?”
“No.” The answer came in an instant, but Ambrose paused and rethought it. “Yes? Perhaps? I do not think I know anymore whether it is an outright lie or if Lucas believes the promises he spouts when he speaks them.”
Mary curled into his shoulder, and Ambrose wrapped that arm around her. Her hand came to rest on his chest, and her fingers ran along his lapels as she tried to ignore the whispers from the shadows of her heart that echoed Ambrose’s words.
Lucas had changed. He had. If not…
Her hand shook, and Mary’s throat tightened. “Am I to lose another child? Not one taken from me by fate but one I turn away?”
Ambrose pressed a kiss to her head, and his hold tightened around her. For several long moments, the pair sat thusly. What could be said that had not been said a hundred times before? Lucas had long ago earned a place as their foremost concern, and this conversation was not a new one. They sat in silence as the sun drifted down the horizon, the sky darkening in the window. Mary still found so much solace in Ambrose’s embrace, and simply being with him brought the only peace to be found in this situation.
A knock sounded at the door, and Mary straightened as Ambrose called for the person to enter. Conrad’s expression was as grim as she’d ever seen it, but he held himself with confidence as he strode in and came to stand before them.
“Is Ruby feeling better?” asked Mary, her brows pulling together.
“She is resting, but I assume that means you overheard our conversation?” he replied without giving any indication as to whether he was pleased or offended.
“We understand how difficult it must be for her—” she began, but Conrad cut her off.
“No, you do not or you would not ask her to forgive Lucas while the pain of his betrayal is still so fresh.” Conrad’s brows furrowed. “What he did to her is no small transgression to be so easily overcome. Forgiveness is a process, and even if one does not wish to hold onto those hard feelings, it takes time to heal a heart. You know that better than most, yet you require it of Ruby. That is unfair.”
Mary’s gaze dropped to the floor, and Ambrose took her hand in his as she replied, “We merely wish to help our son. Do you think we could forgive ourselves if there was a chance to save Lucas but we turned our backs on him?”
Conrad sighed and shook his head as he placed his hands on his hips. “I am not here to argue with you about Lucas. Do what you will with him, it matters not to me. I have come to tell you that Ruby and I are leaving Greater Edgerton.”
The breath froze in Mary’s lungs, and she rose to her feet before she realized she was moving. She did not speak. She couldn’t. Thoughts seizing, Mary struggled to comprehend Conrad’s words, let alone respond.
Ambrose remained stuck in his seat, but his words echoed the question Mary struggled to form. “You are leaving us?”
“You and Mother feel you have a duty to Lucas, but I have a duty to my wife and child.” Conrad squared his shoulders, his jaw tightening as he watched his parents. His words were hard, but sorrow shone in his eyes. “I vowed to honor and protect Ruby, and I mean to do that—even if it is from my own family. I will not allow her to be hurt by Lucas. Not again.”
“But the mill…” It was a silly objection to make and by far the least important aspect of his declaration, but Mary voiced it all the same. Conrad had spent years working beside his father to build it up, and now, he was abandoning Newland Mills when it needed him most.
Conrad’s shoulders slumped, but he did not flinch when he replied, “As Lucas is heir, I think it time I find a profession with a future.”
*
These were words he’d thought many a time, but Conrad had never given them a voice. For so many years, he’d hoped his parents would see sense, but the time for speaking out was long past. Mother sank back down to the sofa, and Father sat silent, his eyes focused on nothing. Conrad’s stomach gave an uneasy turn, and his heart wrenched at the sight of their sorrow. His mind flew through the options, trying to sort out if there were another solution, but this was no irrational decision made in the heat of the moment.
Recalling Ruby’s tears was enough to chase the doubt away. He would not allow another day to dawn where she felt so overcome by hopelessness and despair because of his parents and brother. Ruby would not be the subject of disdain by the likes of Lucas Ashbrook. If things remained as they now stood, they and their child would be made to suffer over and again for Lucas’s behavior. That was not a life he wanted. The past was gone and unalterable, but Conrad could do this for her. For them and their family.
“You are asking us to choose between our sons,” added Father, his expression as vacant as Conrad had ever seen.
Despite the agony written on his parents’ faces and echoed in their posture, Conrad felt this old wound open anew. He had heard such refrains from them before but never had they struck with such force.
“I am not asking for a thing from you. I am not the one making demands,” Conrad snapped back. “I am making a decision based on what my family needs, and if anything, it is you who are asking me to choose between Ruby and my child and this family—and I choose them.”
Turning on his heels, Conrad strode to the door but stopped short of leaving. He faced them once more and let loose the words he’d locked away for so long.
“If Lucas showed even the slightest bit of true remorse, Ruby would encourage and aid him. She is such a loving soul that she couldn’t help herself. But Lucas hasn’t changed. He is still a manipulative liar who blames his cruelty on others. More than that, he doesn’t wish to change no matter how you wish it for him.”
Conrad threw a hand at the door and pointed off in the distance as the pressure in his chest built. “Lucas claimed he’s here to aid the family during this hard time, but he is off spending money he doesn’t have on drink, cards, and women. He has spe
nt his entire life chasing after his own desires, regardless of the cost to anyone else. Do you wish to know how much time and money I have spent paying off his debts? Or aiding the mill girls and servants he has ruined and cast aside? Do you have any idea how much harm and pain he has caused? And every time Lucas is caught, he simply sheds a few tears, promises to do better, and then goes on his merry way.”
Sucking in a breath, Conrad let it out, allowing all that hurt and anger to drift away. Without its power burning through him, he felt weak and worn out. He pinched his nose and took several more breaths before facing his parents once more.
With the fire gone, his next words were quiet, but they rang through the room with a power of their own as Conrad held his mother’s gaze. “And Mother, this situation is nothing like what you and Ruby have suffered at the hands of your parents. They cut you off the first time you did something to upset them—something that should not have angered them in the first place. But you and Father have allowed Lucas to run roughshod over this family for years. He’s done things no one should ever do and shows no true remorse for his behavior.”
Placing his hands on his hips, Conrad cast his glance to the ground as his heart constricted. “But I am not asking you to choose between your sons because you chose him long ago. You’ve done everything in your power to help Lucas, and it’s usually at the expense of your other children.”
Conrad’s breath caught, but he gave himself a moment before continuing.
“Do you know how much it hurts to know that despite all the work I’ve done in the mill, Lucas is to inherit it? I will spend my life working there only to hand to another who will destroy it. You know that will happen, yet still, you haven’t encouraged me to find other positions. I will be beggared and beyond an age where I can begin again—all to save a son who does not want saving.”
When Conrad met his parents’ gazes once more, he found tearful eyes watching him. “Ruby and I are not cutting you out. We welcome you to visit us wherever we settle. We wish for you to know our children and be a part of our family, but I will not allow Lucas’s poison to hurt my family as you have.”
Turning away, Conrad strode from the room, his heart breaking as his mother sobs followed after him.
Chapter 29
A sliver of morning light slipped between a crack in the curtains, shining bright gold in the blackness of the room and giving Ruby just enough light to see Conrad. Lying beside him, she watched her husband sleep. The evening before had been such a muddled mess that she couldn’t recall falling asleep, but no amount of emotion or exhaustion could keep her from recalling the beautiful kiss they’d shared.
Her husband lay relaxed and limp on his pillow, and Ruby studied the lines of his handsome features. Her husband. As a young girl, Ruby had imagined her future, but it was a pale sketch compared to the grand painting her life had become. The babe moved inside her. Ruby pressed a hand to the place, and for the first time in many weeks, she felt a frisson of excitement sweep through her.
Conrad shifted, his eyes fluttering though not opening, and he rolled towards her. Unable to resist the temptation, Ruby moved closer and snuggled into him. Letting out a deep sigh, she sank into his warmth and the feeling of her forehead against his chest. The neckline of his nightshirt hung low, and her skin brushed against his.
Then his arms drew tight around her, and Ruby found Conrad’s sleepy eyes open. Pressing a kiss to his jaw, she blushed and sighed once more.
“That is a lovely way to awaken,” he mumbled.
Ruby smiled and relaxed into his embrace.
“Are you hungry?” he asked. “I should have gotten you some dinner last night, but you were so sound asleep that I didn’t want to disturb you.”
She shook her head, motioning in the vague direction of the tea tray on her nightstand she’d discovered when she’d awoken. But even if she were ravenous, Ruby would not move from this position. Not yet. Or ever, if she had any say in the matter.
Ruby felt Conrad nod and place a kiss on the top of her head, and she smiled. The pair lay there for several long, peaceful moments, ignoring the world around them until Conrad spoke.
“How do you feel about settling in Manchester? Or London?”
Unable to contain her curiosity, Ruby propped herself on her elbow to look at him better. Conrad rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling, though his eyes glanced in her direction for a brief moment. There was a tightness in his jaw and a hint of sorrow clinging to his gaze.
“What happened?” she asked, and with few words and far less emotion than she knew he felt, he described his conversation with his parents the evening before.
Ruby’s eyes widened. “Conrad—”
But before she gave voice to the guilt clutching her heart, Conrad interrupted. “This is not your fault, Ruby. None of it, and I will not allow you to shoulder any culpability for this. I should’ve spoken with my parents long ago, and I do not regret a word of it.”
“But you do regret having to do it,” she murmured.
Conrad’s gaze moved to her, and his eyes softened as a sad smile twisted the corner of his lips. Leaning into him, Ruby pressed a kiss to his cheek and wrapped her arms around him as much as she could while in bed. He shed no tears, but she felt the sorrow clinging to him.
“It needed to be done,” he murmured, his voice muffled as he did not raise his head from the hollow of her neck.
Ruby clung tighter to him, and eventually, he relaxed again, lying back on his pillow while she rested her head on his chest.
“I will write to Cousin Hatch today,” he said. A slight quiver to his voice was the only hint at the turmoil Ruby knew he felt. “He has enough connections to help me find a new situation.”
“Are you certain?” she asked, unable to keep herself from asking the question plaguing her thoughts. “You wish to leave your family?”
“You are my family.”
Ruby’s breath hitched, her heart burning from the conviction and love with which he spoke those four simple words.
The babe kicked, striking Conrad’s side. His chest heaved with a huffy chuckle, and Conrad brought his hand closer to feel the child.
“I’ve not forgotten you, little one,” he murmured. Leaning his cheek against the top of her head, Conrad asked, “Do you think it is a girl or a boy?”
Ruby thought on that, but she had no answer. “Which do you hope it is?”
But Conrad had no answer, either. “We still haven't decided on a name.”
“Conrad.”
“Yes?”
“If it is a boy, we should name him after his father, Conrad,” she clarified.
It was silent, and Conrad cleared his throat and placed another kiss on her head. When he spoke, his voice trembled, but he cleared his throat yet again and said, “I’ve never cared for naming a child after his parent. There is already enough confusion with all the Mr. Ashbrooks; I hate to complicate it further.”
Ruby smiled. “Then we shall have to give it more thought.”
“As long as we are agreed on Cruelty if it is a girl.”
Lifting her head, Ruby gave him a mock scowl, but Conrad merely grinned in return.
“It was your suggestion,” he said.
Ruby raised a brow. “It was yours.”
“But you were the one to explain the error in naming daughters after virtues.” Conrad’s eyes gleamed with mirth, his smile growing more wicked the longer he spoke.
“You are incorrigible,” she muttered, laying her head back down. Ruby didn’t know how much time passed as they discussed baby names, cities, positions, and all other aspects of their future, but she knew with absolute clarity that no matter what followed, she would remember this moment for years to come. A simple morning spent together, but it was so much more than that.
Sometime later, his stomach growled, followed by hers, and they were forced to accept it was time to leave their haven.
“I can ring for a tray,” Conrad said.
Shaking her head, Ruby propped herself on her elbow to meet his gaze. “I am not afraid, Conrad. Not with you there.”
Conrad took her hand and pressed a kiss to her palm. “Together, then?”
Ruby curled her fingers as though it would capture that touch and hold it there forever and nodded.
***
Though it was arrayed with some of her favorite foods, Mary’s insides turned as she stared at her plate. She poked the cold ham with her fork and abandoned her utensils on the table.
She felt heavy and listless, and her eyes burned as her lids opened and closed. Ambrose was quiet beside her; he made a show of eating, but his natural brightness had dimmed. Reaching for his hand, Mary clung to it. Ambrose gripped it tight, his bleak eyes meeting hers. They’d passed the night talking, and there were no more words to speak; they knew what needed to be done, and there was no avoiding it.
Her mind cast back to those early years she’d spent as Mrs. Ambrose Ashbrook and her children as they were, all sweetness and innocence. Brows twisting closer, Mary thought through the years and wondered how they’d come to this.
“No,” murmured Ambrose, lifting their clasped hands and pressing a kiss to the back of hers. He held it there as though gathering strength from her and then shook his head. “Imperfect we may be, but we did our best. No parent can claim more than that.”
Mary nodded, though her expression crumpled. “Perhaps if you will remind me of that from time to time, I might come to feel it in my heart.”
Ambrose gave a shaky, sorrowful approximation of a smile. “If you will do the same for me.”
Despite the pain surrounding them and the sorrow yet to come, warmth blossomed in Mary’s heart for this dear, wonderful man. No life was untouched by heartache, and theirs had seen plenty of it, but they’d weathered those storms and would do so now. They would overcome this together.
Leaning close, Mary pressed her lips to his, reveling in the comfort his touch brought and giving it back to him in equal measure.
The Honorable Choice (Victorian Love Book 2) Page 25
