"Your advice is eminently practical," said Elizabeth, "but you know I am no actress. I cannot counterfeit well, and I confess I feel no urge to make him happy."
"I am not suggesting this in his interest but in yours. What will your life be like if you make him miserable? Would you live with a husband who hates you? Please, Lizzy, do not give him that power; for your own sake, find ways you can be happy within a marriage you do not want. You need not spend much time with him once you are married."
Elizabeth was not a fool; she could see her friend's point, and she spent the next day schooling herself to acceptance. It was not easy for one of her spirits. She made a list of Mr. Darcy's virtues in her mind—albeit a very short list—and repeated it to herself regularly. She could not help wishing something might happen— that her father might refuse his consent, though it would solve nothing, or at the very least that Darcy's return would be delayed. She did not trust her own ability to dissemble, and after the events surrounding his proposal, she was not under the illusion that he would make no physical demands during their engagement. She planned to make every effort to avoid being alone with him.
His arrival was timely, however, and brought news of Mr. Bennet's consent and a letter from him to Elizabeth. She met him with a smile and put the letter aside for later. Knowing her father, she did not expect it to contain the normal platitudes, and she did not imagine he would be happy with this match.
To her dismay, no sooner had Darcy appeared than Charlotte manufactured an excuse to leave them alone together. Glancing despairingly after her friend, Elizabeth said hurriedly, "Did you find my family well, sir?"
"Your father was well, but I confess I did not see any of the others."
"My mother was not aware of the occasion of your visit?"
"Your father kindly offered to share the intelligence with Mrs. Bennet," Darcy said in a tone of slight distaste. "I was happy to absent myself from the occasion."
I am sure you were! thought Elizabeth indignantly. Why tolerate more degradation than necessary? "I am glad it did not take up any more of your time," she said, trying to mask her hostility with a smile. Remember, Bingley and Colonel Fitzwilliam think highly of him. He is truthful. He is a good brother. The litany was becoming wearying.
"It allowed me to return to your side as soon as I could," he said with slightly more grace.
Elizabeth wondered what he had been thinking all those times he had stared at her in the past. Clearly, it was not only to criticise. She could not comprehend, though, how he had come to love her, for love her he must to make her an offer despite his opinion of her family. She had rarely been anything but saucy and impudent to him, and he had not often troubled himself to speak to her. Now her cheeks coloured at what he might be thinking.
He took her blush to mean something else though, and moved to the chair beside hers. Taking her hand, he pressed it to his lips.
It is only a kiss on your hand. Other gentlemen have done the same, she told herself. There is no reason to allow it to trouble you now. Other men, however, did not fix their eyes on her with such heated intensity, nor hold her hand a little too long. She looked away uncomfortably.
He gave a low laugh. "I would not have expected you to be shy, Elizabeth."
His use of her Christian name only fuelled her embarrassment. "Mr. Darcy, you must allow me some time to become accustomed to thinking of you as something beyond an acquaintance."
"Surely you knew I would be making my addresses."
"I assure you, sir, there was nothing in the world I expected less," she replied spiritedly. It was one thing to be pleasant to him, but there was no reason to pretend she had been part of some covert courtship process.
"I cannot believe you failed to notice my interest in you," he said. "Or did you think perhaps I was only trifling with your affections?" He sounded amused by his conceit.
"Sir, it never crossed my mind that you particularly noted my existence or thought me more than merely tolerable." She realised she was very close to provoking a quarrel with him and reminded herself how disadvantageous such an action would be. With a distinct effort, she smiled at him.
He looked at her probingly. "Perhaps that explains something."
Elizabeth was not at all certain she wished to know what it explained, but she responded as he evidently expected. "And what is that?" In another lifetime she might have said it archly or even chosen to tease him by ignoring his hint, but no longer.
He did not quite smile, but his eyes warmed. "I had not realised I was taking you by surprise."
She gave him a puzzled look, then her eyes grew larger as he leaned towards her, his intent obvious. He said, "Perhaps this time you will not be caught unawares."
His lips touched hers. She felt a moment of panic at the intimacy of it. She would not let it show though; instead, she forced herself to think how her marriage might provide another chance for Jane and Mr. Bingley.
Although it was distinctly odd to be kissed by Mr. Darcy, it was neither terrible nor disgusting, she decided; it was tolerable. The thought of applying that term to him was rather amusing. Perhaps she should start trying to think of him as tolerable.
"Yes—that is better," he said softly as he drew away.
If all he expects of me is not to push him away when he wants to kiss me, it ought to be simple enough. She would have to ask someone, perhaps her aunt Gardiner, how much more there was to marriage. The thought made her blush, which seemed to please her new husband-to-be.
Chapter 2
CHARLOTTE WAS TACTFUL ENOUGH to ask no questions after Mr. Darcy's visit, and Elizabeth took her first opportunity to escape to her room. Reading her father's letter was her first order of business, though she feared what it might contain.
I have only a moment to write to you, Lizzy, so I must speak my mind directly. Mr. Darcy has asked my permission to marry you, claiming he has your consent. I must caution you to consider carefully before you enter into this engagement. I cannot see you being happy with Mr. Darcy. Have you not always hated him? Is his wealth enough reason to tolerate a man you dislike as your husband? I know your temperament, and I cannot believe you would be truly happy unless married to a man you could esteem as your superior. Please do not give me the pain of seeing you so unhappy in your choice of a partner in life. I have given him my permission; indeed, he is not the sort of man to whom I could deny anything once he had lowered himself to ask for it, but I beg you to reconsider while there is still time. I will not tell anyone of this matter, most especially your mother, until I hear from you with your final decision.
If only she could follow his advice! Unfortunately, she had no such choice. She folded the letter carefully and placed it in her drawer, then thought better of it and took it to the fire. There was no reason to save it. She would have to dispose of any document which spoke so of Mr. Darcy soon enough, else risk his finding it. She shivered, watching the letter shrivel and turn black, thinking of the loss of privacy marriage to him would entail. No, she resolved, I must not think this way. I shall merely need to learn new habits of privacy.
It was final now. She could no longer hope for a miraculous escape. Her father had consented, and Mr. Darcy would no doubt be telling his family tonight. She smiled a little, wondering how Lady Catherine would take the knowledge of her new niece and the thwarting of her plans for her daughter. No, she did not envy Mr. Darcy that interview.
The next day, Mr. Collins returned early from his morning call at Rosings Park his face ashen and his manner agitated. Bursting into the sitting room, he insisted on immediate confer ence with Charlotte. Elizabeth and Maria exchanged puzzled glances as Charlotte disappeared behind her husband.
When Charlotte returned a short time later, her distress was evident. "I barely know how to say this, Lizzy, but please believe this is not my desire. Lady Catherine is beside herself with anger over your… situation," she said. "She learned of it this morning, and she apparently holds you wholly responsible for the ruination of all her plans.
Mr. Collins, I am sorry to say, insists you leave this house immediately."
"What!" exclaimed Maria, who remained blissfully unaware of Elizabeth's engagement, as had Mr. Collins before receiving intelligence of it from Lady Catherine herself.
The news did not come as a complete surprise to Elizabeth, who had not shared Mr. Darcy's lack of concern for Lady Catherine's reaction to his announcement. Although she had not anticipated Mr. Collins would go so far as to expel her from his home, it was an outcome with certain favourable aspects for her. She had no desire to remain in Mr. Darcy's vicinity for any longer than necessary; soon enough she would have no choice in the matter but to be at his disposal.
"What, then, am I to do?" Elizabeth addressed her question to Charlotte, ignoring Maria's outburst.
"Mr. Collins has already left to make arrangements for you to take the next post to London," said Charlotte with some embarrassment. "I tried to convince him it was not in our best interests to anger Mr. Darcy, but it did no good. He is adamant. I cannot imagine what Lady Catherine said to him; perhaps it is best for you to be gone before she decides to take you to task directly. But it is hardly fitting for you to travel alone. Perhaps I should send for Mr. Darcy?"
"No," Elizabeth said quickly, "I would rather not trouble Mr. Darcy."
It was eventually decided that Maria Lucas would accompany Elizabeth to London as planned, only departing immediately instead of a week hence. Although at first Maria was sorry to be deprived of the pleasure of visits to Rosings, once she heard the details of Elizabeth's situation, she recognised there was little merit in remaining at Hunsford while the Collinses were in deep disgrace with Lady Catherine.
***
As the coach pulled away from Hunsford village, Elizabeth's mind turned to how she was to explain her sudden appearance to her aunt and uncle. Beyond this lay the question of how to present her engagement to them. Ought she to tell them the truth of it or present a prettier picture in which she gladly accepted his addresses?
In the end, she chose the path of caution, and told them her opinion of Mr. Darcy had undergone a change after seeing him amongst his family and of her current pleasure in their engagement. Jane was, perhaps, the most predisposed to accept this story. Having always valued Darcy herself, she required little persuasion that Lizzy might have learned to do so as well. Her aunt, whose only exposure to Darcy had been hearing about his faults from Mr. Wickham at Christmastime, was more concerned.
"But, Lizzy," said Mrs. Gardiner, "what of how infamously he treated poor Mr. Wickham? I am worried about you marrying such a man—and one you held in such disdain only a few months ago."
Elizabeth was little prepared to meet this charge and produced an incoherent answer to the effect that if Mr. Darcy were as proud as Wickham claimed, he would not be marrying her. Her aunt appeared dubious but ceased to press her.
Elizabeth was grateful for the respite, as she had more than enough to worry about regarding Mr. Darcy's response to her precipitate departure. She suspected he would not be happy she had left without a word. Now that they were officially engaged, there was no reason she could not have left him a note or even written to him once she reached London. But she had taken the coward's way out, and now she could not make herself put pen to paper. It was somehow less palatable to be deceptive about her feelings in writing than in person.
He would have no trouble finding her. Charlotte would be happy to tell him her destination. It was only a matter of how long he chose to wait before coming after her. Elizabeth was not looking forward to discovering what sort of temper her husband to-be possessed or how he would react to finding himself among her low connections in Cheapside. She wondered whether he would stay the remaining days he had planned at Rosings or whether he would follow her sooner. Assuming he did not immediately discover her departure from Hunsford, the earliest she could expect to see him was the following afternoon.
She was therefore taken by surprise when the Gardiner's manservant announced Mr. Darcy's arrival the following morning. Nervously, she stood as he entered, but to her relief he looked no different from usual—rather distant and severe, but not angry. When he managed to catch her eye, he actually seemed pleased.
His response when she introduced him to her aunt was rather perfunctory. She feared this would not improve Mrs. Gardiner's opinion of him. She was grateful for her aunt's fine manners, politely asking him whether he would like some refreshment and beginning a conversation about Derbyshire. Darcy thawed a little as it became evident he was not dealing with another Mrs. Bennet, but his manner did not go so far as warmth.
Elizabeth, growing somewhat anxious as time went on as to what her aunt and Jane might be thinking, suggested to Mr. Darcy that perhaps they might walk out in order to enjoy the fine day. It was ironic, she thought, that now she was seeking to be alone with him, but it was not out of any desire for his company.
He assented readily. Elizabeth fetched her bonnet, and as soon as they were outside of the house, Darcy turned a look of great warmth on her. "Elizabeth, I am very glad to be with you again."
She blushed, remembering the kisses which had accom panied such a tone of voice from him in the past. "I had not expected you quite so soon, sir."
"I returned to town yesterday evening, but far too late to call, so I thought it better to wait until this morning. Surely you did not think I would remain at Rosings once you had left."
She was unsure what he wished her to say. "I am sorry if this has caused trouble between you and Lady Catherine."
He glanced down at her. "I do not know what you have heard, although I assume it was what prompted you to leave."
Apparently, his source at Hunsford had neglected to inform him she had no choice but to depart. She chose her words care fully. "I understood from Mr. Collins that she was quite unhappy with the news. Rather than put him in an uncomfortable posi tion with his patroness, I thought it wisest to leave."
"You are kind to be sensible of his position, but I hope you understand that as my future wife, you need fear no one."
She wondered if he thought it below her to worry about Mr. Collins. However agreeable she planned to be to her future husband, she did not intend to behave with his sort of pride. "Mrs. Collins is a very dear friend. I would not hurt her for the world."
"Of course not." He seemed more satisfied by this explana tion. "It is unfortunate your visit with her was interrupted. Have you made plans for your stay in London?"
She reminded herself of Charlotte's advice. "I am entirely at your disposal, sir. My parents do not yet know I have left Kent."
He looked at her questioningly for a moment. "It would please me if you had an opportunity to make my sister's acquain tance while you are in London."
"I would be happy to do so." Elizabeth hoped Miss Darcy was not as proud as Wickham had indicated to her.
"We need to discuss our wedding as well."
"Indeed." Elizabeth felt suddenly closed in by the people and buildings around them and had a longing for the open countryside near Longbourn. She would not be able to enjoy it long, even when she returned home. She hoped the scenery in Derbyshire would not be cold and forbidding.
"I see no reason to delay overlong. What is your view?"
"I have not given the matter any thought yet, sir." Elizabeth dropped her eyes to the dirty cobblestones beneath her feet.
"I am not minded to think that a long courtship in the pres ence of your family would be pleasurable to either of us. Do you think a month would be adequate planning time?"
A year would not be a long enough delay for her. "That might seem very sudden, sir."
He favoured her with a smile which transformed his features. "Would you mind that?"
Elizabeth felt a wave of panic as she sought for a way to convince him to wait longer. "Perhaps I could consult with my aunt before we decide. After all, I have never planned a wedding before."
He laughed. "Nor have I. It will be our first new experi ence together."
Georgiana Darcy awaited with trepidation meeting her future sister. She could not have been more astonished when her brother arrived in London unexpectedly with the announce ment that he was to be married, and to a woman she had never heard of. She dared not ask him many questions, but she was concerned, especially when he described Miss Bennet as possessing an admirable spirit. Fitzwilliam's wife would have a great deal of influence on the next years of her life, arranging her coming out and no doubt having some say in her choice of husband. If Miss Bennet was wilful, Georgiana would never be able to stand up to her. She trusted Fitzwilliam with her future, but it was harder with this unknown woman.
But she would not be unknown for long. Georgiana could hear the carriage pull up in front of the townhouse. She stood and smoothed her skirts, trying to disguise her nervousness. It took longer than she expected between the time when she heard the front door open and when Fitzwilliam appeared in the doorway accompanied by a graceful young lady, not quite as tall as Georgiana herself.
Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy Page 2
