"Not foolish. I do not understand why you would feel that way, but many people have irrational fears. I do not doubt your courage."
"But I cannot believe you would ever be subject to irrational fears." Or if he were, he would never admit to them, she thought.
"I would not say that." He appeared completely preoccupied with cutting his meat.
"I cannot imagine what irrational fears you might possess."
He took a bite and chewed it slowly before answering. "I fear losing the people I care for."
"That is hardly irrational. Who would not fear that?"
"True, but I perhaps worry about it disproportionately. I also dislike heights, though I have learned to overcome it to a large degree."
It made him a little more human somehow, yet Elizabeth wondered about the disproportionate worry he was so reluc tant to speak of. And yet, he had spoken of it, when he quite easily could have denied any fears. Apparently, he could still surprise her.
"I believe tomorrow I will try again with Pandora and see if I have learned anything," she said.
An expression she could not interpret crossed Darcy's face, then was quickly hidden.
"If you will inform me when you intend to do so, I will accompany you," Darcy said.
"There is no need to interrupt you. One of the stable hands can assist me." She did not wish to be any trouble to him, espe cially when they were just establishing amicable relations.
"I would prefer to be there, unless you object."
"I will be certain to inform you then." She wondered why he wanted to be there. If he merely wanted to know if she followed her plan, all he would have to do was to ask a servant. But perhaps he, too, recognised the importance of having an activity they could share safely. She hoped so; it would mean he had not yet completely given up on her.
Chapter 8
THE NEXT MORNING, DARCY led Elizabeth around the stable yard again. It was no easier for having done it the previous day, but this time she managed to make the circuit of the stable yard twice before asking to stop. She was equally proud of her success in achieving another period of civility with her husband.
She spent the remainder of the morning writing a letter to Jane. It was not a letter she expected to send. She did not yet feel comfortable resuming the correspondence without Darcy's express direction, though she expected this new polite Darcy would not object if she asked. Still, she did not wish to risk their tentative reconciliation. But writing the letter helped clarify some of her thoughts and strengthened her determina tion to ease the disquietude in her marriage. That would be Jane's advice.
She was interrupted by a footman. "Miss Darcy has arrived, madam," he said.
"Miss Darcy?" Elizabeth had heard the sound of a carriage a few minutes earlier but had thought little of it, as no guests were expected, certainly not Miss Darcy. At least not that Mr. Darcy had mentioned. Perhaps he was well aware of this plan. Hurriedly, Elizabeth smoothed her skirts and descended to the main sitting room.
Georgiana was in her brother's embrace, her head against his shoulder. "I told them you had sent for me. They were…" Her words trailed off as she noticed Elizabeth's presence and extricated herself from her brother's arms.
"Do not give it another thought." Darcy's voice was tender, as once it had been when he spoke to Elizabeth.
It felt presumptuous for Elizabeth to welcome Georgiana to her own home, yet under these circumstances she needed to say something. She advanced towards the younger girl and kissed her cheek. "How lovely to see you again, Georgiana."
Georgiana gave a proper curtsey. "Thank you." Her voice was colourless.
"How was your journey?"
Georgiana glanced at her brother before answering. "It went well, thank you."
Elizabeth felt very much de trop. "You must have a great deal to tell one another. I shall look forward to seeing you at dinner." She retreated, making her way quickly to her rooms, where she settled herself in her favourite chair and picked up her embroidery, hoping, rather than believing, it would be enough to distract her from her thoughts.
Choosing a length of azure thread, she prepared her needle. Why had Darcy not told her he had sent for Georgiana? Surely he could not have thought Elizabeth would object; she had not objected to anything since their marriage. Perhaps he had not wished to explain his plans to her. The most likely reason he would send for his sister was all too obvious: he must desire some companionship more congenial to him than her own. Knotting the thread, she stabbed the needle through the delicate fabric.
It would make no difference to her own situation, since she saw him only at meals and at her brief riding lessons. So why did it trouble her so?
She waited to see if Darcy would seek her out with an explana tion or at least some information on the length of Georgiana's visit, but he did not appear by the time she had finished embroidering the flowers around her new initials. Elizabeth Darcy. Pemberley may be her home officially, but she was its mistress in name only.
She felt a surge of loneliness. Somewhere Georgiana and Darcy were no doubt enjoying one another's company. Running her finger over the embroidered "E.D.," Elizabeth wondered if Darcy would continue his recent kindness to her now that he had Georgiana for companionship or if she would be just another body inhabiting the lovely, echoing house.
Unable to tolerate being imprisoned indoors any longer, she put her work aside. After a quick stop in the kitchens, she made her way to the stables to seek out the only company which might truly be pleased to see her.
Pandora whickered softly and swished her tail when she saw Elizabeth. "No ride this afternoon, girl, just a treat." She held out a lump of sugar. The horse's warm breath moved over her palm as she ate. "I have a carrot for you, too." Breaking the carrot into pieces as she had seen the manservant at Longbourn do, she offered them one at a time. At least she could make someone happy.
Elizabeth stayed a few minutes in Pandora's stall, talking nonsense and patting her neck. She would have liked to stay longer, but the stable boys would have wondered at that. Slowly, she trudged past the long line of stalls. It was a far cry from the corner of the barn that held Longbourn's two horses. Her mind thus occupied, she was startled to hear her name spoken when she stepped out into the watery grey daylight.
It was Georgiana, dressed in an elegant riding habit which accentuated her height and womanly figure. Behind her, a groom held a finely boned horse, nervous looking and easily two hands taller than Pandora.
"Georgiana! I had thought you would be resting after your travels." Elizabeth tried to ignore how the horse threw his head and stamped his feet impatiently.
"I miss my horses so much when I am away. I can never wait to go riding when I come home."
"I hope you have a lovely time." Elizabeth could not imagine ever wanting to ride such a horse.
Georgiana cast her eyes down Elizabeth's dress, obviously unsuited for riding then glanced into the stables. "What brings you here?"
Elizabeth smiled ruefully. "I was visiting my horse. She is new, and I try to stop by when I can so she will become accus tomed to me."
"You have a new horse?" For the first time in their brief acquaintance, Georgiana sounded truly interested in what Elizabeth had to say.
"Your brother gave her to me." She did not know why she felt as if she should apologise for having a new horse.
"May I see her?"
"Of course." Elizabeth did not understand Georgiana's excitement, but if this might prove a way for the girl to be more comfortable with her, she would try it. She led the way back to the stall. "This is Pandora." The little mare's ears flickered, clearly surprised to see Elizabeth again so soon, and she pushed her head against Elizabeth's shoulder, as if hoping for another treat.
Georgiana's expression was blank. "This is your horse?"
Elizabeth almost winced at the disbelief in her voice. Small, sedate Pandora was nothing like Georgiana's horse. Elizabeth moved a little closer to Pandora, remembering what Wickha
m had said of Georgiana's pride. "Yes, she is."
"She is lovely," Georgiana said a moment too late. "Who are her sire and dam?"
"I do not believe your brother mentioned that to me. But I ought not keep you from your ride." Elizabeth stepped outside the stall. This humiliating conversation could not end soon enough.
Georgiana suddenly looked awkward. "Yes, of course. If you will excuse me." She hurried out of the stable.
Elizabeth followed more slowly, emerging just in time to see Georgiana mount and trot out of the stable yard then urge her horse to a canter. She cut as fine a figure on horseback as her brother did. Elizabeth watched as she raced towards a fence and closed her eyes involuntarily as the horse leapt into the air.
***
After dinner the following day, Darcy asked Georgiana to play for them. Elizabeth was unsurprised by the agility with which Georgiana's hands moved over the keys. She had already learned how far the quiet girl's education outstripped her own haphazard one. When the music ended, Elizabeth smiled and applauded, joining her praises to Darcy's.
As Georgiana began a second piece, Darcy turned to Elizabeth. "You did not ride this morning."
"No, I did not." Elizabeth had not felt inclined to display her own lack of ability after Georgiana's show of horsemanship. She had been glad of her decision that afternoon when she had seen Georgiana and Darcy cantering across the hills and later listened through the open door to their happy conversation when they finally returned from their ride.
Darcy appeared to choose his words with care. "Is there anything I can do to make riding more pleasant for you?"
"I cannot think of anything, thank you." She was uncomfort ably aware this was their first even partially private conversation since Georgiana's arrival.
"If you should feel inclined to try again another day, I would be happy to assist."
"There is little point."
"As you wish." Darcy lapsed into silence as Georgiana's music continued to flow past.
Elizabeth felt unaccountably near tears. She did not know what she wished he might say; she would likely have resented it had he pressed her further. She wondered if he would sell Pandora now, rather than bear the cost of keeping a mount best suited to a child.
His voice interrupted her thoughts. "If I have done some thing to offend you, I hope you will tell me, as I appear to be singularly incapable of divining it by myself."
She turned to look at him in surprise. "No, I am not offended." How could she be offended that he loved his sister or that Georgiana rode and played better than she ever would? "But I would appreciate if the next time you are expecting company, I might be informed in advance."
"Ah." Darcy's brow cleared. "If you are referring to Georgiana, I had no notion she was coming. I would certainly have told you otherwise."
Elizabeth was more relieved than she wanted to admit. "I thought I heard her say you had sent for her."
Darcy glanced at the pianoforte, a grim look settling around his mouth. "There were some difficulties with my aunt. Georgiana is painfully frightened of conflict and wished to leave. She told my uncle I had sent for her."
"I find it hard to believe she would ever feel intimidated."
"Georgiana? She is frightened of almost everything except horses and her music, and that is only because she practises constantly and has ridden almost since she could walk."
Elizabeth blinked in surprise. If he was correct, and presum ably he was, then she had misunderstood Georgiana as much as she had misread him initially. Still, she could not shake the image of him laughing with his sister as their horses had hurtled along the landscape. "She is an excellent horsewoman. Even if I rode every day for the rest of my life, I would never ride like that."
"I am happy to hear that. Georgiana can be somewhat reck less on horseback."
A few minutes earlier, Elizabeth had been hard pressed to find amusement in anything; now she found a smile creeping onto her lips. "It must run in the family, then."
He frowned, then seemed to realise he was being teased. "Perhaps it does."
Elizabeth congratulated herself on Darcy's look of surprise the next morning when she stole a moment to announce to him her plan to ride again. He recovered quickly, immediately setting out with her, though she doubted his valet would thank her for taking him to the stable yard without even a change of coat. Still, she was glad of his company; it meant she did not have to pretend to a boldness she did not possess, as she would have to with a stable hand.
He led her around the stable yard again, and Elizabeth counted it as progress that her terror abated enough that she could worry about whether Georgiana would see her foolish ness. She was determined to manage three circuits, but by the end of it, her chest was so tight she could not breathe. After she dismounted, she leaned against Pandora's side until her dizziness passed. Darcy said nothing, but she could feel his close gaze on her.
As they walked back to the house, Elizabeth said, "You are very kind to assist me with my riding, but I cannot imagine you are comfortable doing a groom's work."
"My father did it for me when I was first learning to ride. It does not make me uncomfortable. Once I could go beyond the stable yard, my mother gave me lessons."
"Your mother taught you to ride?" Elizabeth was startled by this unusual behaviour. Perhaps the Darcy family was not as tradition-bound as she had thought.
"Yes, and Georgiana as well. She was an avid horsewoman. That is why it is so difficult to put restraints on Georgiana's riding; she is riding as our mother did."
"Yet you seem to enjoy riding with her, even when she takes risks."
Darcy paused, dislodging a small rock in the path with his foot and pushing it to the side. "I should not, I know, but some times when we are galloping over the grounds, it is as if…"
Elizabeth waited for him to continue, but instead he resumed his normal quick stride. "As if?"
"It is of no importance. You are correct. I ought not encourage her."
Hurt by the dismissal in his voice, Elizabeth said no more. So his civility went no further than the surface. She should not have expected anything else. He had no reason to trust her or to wish to confide in her. At least it was civility; that was progress of a sort.
Chapter 9
MRS. REYNOLDS RAN THE household at Pemberley so seam lessly that Elizabeth was rarely called upon for decisions beyond menu selection, so she was surprised when the housekeeper asked to speak to her privately.
"Mrs. Darcy, I have a concern which is beyond my purview. I hope you will not think me interfering."
Elizabeth laid aside her embroidery. "Of course not. Please, continue."
Mrs. Reynolds folded her hands in front of her. "I have a concern for a family here, tenant farmers, not that their farm is producing anything. They appear to be in rather desperate straits. Usually Mr. Dunstan, as steward, would attend to this—he is most dutiful about these matters—but in this particular case, he cannot, as Mr. Tanner refuses any assistance. He does not even allow his wife to speak to her family or friends. From what the children say, there is not enough food, and many of their possessions have been sold to pay for—forgive me, madam—drink. Mrs. Tanner is approaching her confinement and may be ill. No one knows for certain."
"A disturbing situation, indeed. Is there a way I might be of assistance?" Elizabeth felt for the unknown woman at the mercy of a drunken husband and with little recourse. The fingers of her right hand unconsciously sought out her wedding band. A cruel husband could so easily destroy a woman's life and her children's as well. She had been fortunate in that regard, at least so far.
Mrs. Reynolds looked approving. "It strikes me that the husband could not easily refuse to allow the wife of his landlord to visit or to offer aid."
It would be a way to be of use, something she otherwise lacked. The days wore heavily on her since Darcy had stopped spending time with her apart from her morning ride, and Georgiana's company was uncomfortable at best. "I could certainly try
. Would it perhaps be better if I called on other families in need as well, so as not to single the Tanners out?"
"An excellent idea, madam. I am certain Mr. Dunstan would have some suggestions."
Over the next hours, Elizabeth found herself being organised by Mrs. Reynolds as efficiently as the rest of the household. She set out in a phaeton accompanied by one of the footmen, baskets of food and other sundries beside her. She was grateful for the footman's company. The task, which had sounded simple enough when first mentioned, began to make her more nervous as she considered the uncertainty of her reception and the necessity of retaining her authority as mistress of Pemberley no matter the circumstances. Perhaps she should have sought Darcy's advice before undertaking the effort.
Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy Page 7
