Wide-eyed, she watched him pull out a chair and sit down opposite her with his own mug of steaming liquid. ‘What can I do?’
He shrugged, eyes glinting scornfully. ‘Depends on how far you’re prepared to go,’ he retorted dryly.
She swallowed hard, her answer never in doubt. ‘I’d do anything.’
Taking a careful sip of the hot liquid, he looked at her over the rim of the mug. ‘Anything? That’s quite a tempting offer. I’ll have to think if there’s anything you can do that I would want,’ he returned sardonically.
Sofie lowered her head, cradling the mug between her hands. ‘Wh-what if I were to…reconsider my decision?’ she said in a painfully tight voice.
Sitting back, Lucas stretched out his legs. ‘Reconsider your decision?’ he queried, as if he had no idea what she was talking about. It brought her head up immediately.
‘You know what I mean!’ she snapped, and he smiled.
‘Yes, I know. I also know it means you’re desperate.’
That was too much for her ragged nerves. ‘Of course I’m desperate. I love my son!’
He sat up. ‘And I have a son I want the chance to get to love!’
She stared at him, knowing she had only herself to blame for the situation she found herself in. ‘I told you I won’t deny you access,’ she said shakily, and he shook his head.
‘How decent of you to throw me a crumb. Unfortunately, if you thought I would be satisfied with that, you’re much mistaken,’ Lucas responded, draining his mug and pushing it aside. ‘However, I shall take your offer of “anything” under advisement.’
Sofie opened her mouth to say something, then closed it again, the words unsaid. She felt helpless. Totally at his mercy. Yet a spark of spirit made her lift her head. ‘Are you enjoying yourself?’
One eyebrow quirked. ‘What do you think?’ he charged, but she didn’t bother answering. ‘When can I meet him?’
Sofie drew in a shaky breath and struggled to remain calm. It was useless to try and get him to tell her his intentions. He would do that when he was good and ready. Having anticipated his wish to meet Tom, she had made plans of her own. ‘He’ll be home soon. Jenny’s picking him up, together with her son. I was thinking that you might like to stay and have dinner with us. Tom asked for pasta tonight.’
Lucas appeared surprised yet pleased by the invitation. ‘Thank you. I would like that.’
A small silence fell between them and Sofie hastened to fill it. ‘He’s a lovely boy. So sweet-natured and generous. He has your eyes, and mouth, and even your smile!’ she told him breathlessly, smiling a little as she thought of her…their child.
One eyebrow quirked her way. ‘Didn’t that bother you? The fact of him looking so like me?’ he asked curiously, and she shrugged.
‘Not at all. I liked it,’ she admitted diffidently.
That made both brows lift. ‘Liked being reminded of sleeping with a man who might be capable of doing anything to make a buck?’
Her eyes shot to link with his as she was reminded of her wild suggestions. The need to put the record straight was compelling. ‘Lucas, about last night…what I said. It wasn’t true.’
A mocking smile curled his lips at her claim. ‘What part? You said a lot of things, as I recall.’
Sofie sighed and licked her lips nervously. ‘I didn’t mean any of what I said about your family’s way of doing business. I only said that because I didn’t want you to find out about Tom. I thought it would make you go away,’ she confessed, eyes quartering his face to see if she could read what he was feeling, but his expression was closed.
‘It very nearly worked. If Tom hadn’t been sick, I would have been back in London right now,’ he remarked coolly, and she winced.
‘You have to understand. I was desperate.’
Now some emotion showed, but it was irony and gave her no comfort. ‘You still are. Look at it from my point of view. You’ve lied so much, caro, how am I to know what’s true or not? Once I would have trusted you implicitly, but those days are gone. However, I do believe you would say and do anything in order not to lose your son. You just as good as told me you’d sleep with me now, if that was part of the price I demanded.’
‘I meant it,’ she said stoically and took a long draught of coffee to bolster her nerve. She had to keep thinking of Tom.
‘You wouldn’t see it as a form of prostitution?’ he jibed, and she flushed yet kept her chin raised.
‘How could it be? We’re still married,’ she was quick to point out.
‘So that could turn out to be fortuitous for you after all. It would certainly save your pride,’ Lucas goaded softly, bringing a soft pink burn to her cheeks.
‘Stop playing games, Lucas! You have the upper hand here. You know I’m at your mercy!’ It sounded melodramatic even to her own ears, and yet it was exactly how things were. He held all the cards.
Her words brought a smile to his face at last. ‘At my mercy. I like the sound of that. It rolls off the tongue with a certain…’
A surge of anger rose inside her at his mockery and she cut him off. ‘I might have to play by your rules now, but don’t for one minute think that means I’ll conform to your every whim!’ she warned him snappily, finishing her coffee and setting the mug aside with a decided thud.
He looked at her steadily. ‘You will, or you’ll lose Tom,’ he declared softly, and she blanched.
Licking her lips nervously, she stared at him. ‘So that’s your price, is it?’
‘Perhaps,’ he admitted with a careless shrug. ‘I’m still working out the finer points.’
Realising that she was allowing him to push her buttons far too easily, Sofie took a calming breath before responding. ‘I think we should change the subject,’ she suggested firmly and Lucas’s smile turned more taunting even though he nodded his agreement.
‘Fine by me. Why don’t you tell me about your family instead? Did they know where you were? Did they know about Tom?’
It was a valid question, but she knew he wasn’t going to like the answer. ‘Yes. I made them promise not to tell you,’ she confessed raggedly, her heartbeat raising its tempo again.
To her surprise, Lucas looked resigned, not angry. ‘Well, they’re your parents, so naturally they would do as you ask. They’re very loyal and never said a word,’ he responded with a deep sigh.
‘You’re in touch?’ Sofie asked, completely shaken because she had had no idea.
Lucas looked wryly amused. ‘I pop in most weeks. You had no idea, did you?’
She shook her head. ‘They never mentioned seeing you,’ she explained, and realised that they had kept quiet so as not to hurt her. Thinking about it now, she was glad they had continued to welcome him, despite the questions in their minds. She had never told them why she had left and they hadn’t asked, leaving it up to her to talk when she was ready. However, she had remained silent during their few visits and frequent telephone calls, for the hurt went too deep to talk about. After their first few attempts to get her to tell Lucas about Tom, they had given up trying as she had been adamant. They must have felt torn and she was sorry she had put them in that position.
‘As I said, they keep their secrets well. Obviously they didn’t think you would like to know they were seeing me.’
‘I didn’t think you would bother,’ she said honestly, her voice barely a croak.
Lucas sat up straighter before he answered. ‘Not bother? I like them. I consider them part of my family. Why should that surprise you?’
Sofie dragged a hand through her hair and sighed. ‘I just never gave it a thought,’ she answered, which was true enough. She had been too busy coping with morning sickness and life without him. Rising and taking their empty mugs to the sink, she was just washing them out when she heard a car approaching. Seconds later car doors slammed and childish voices piped up, calling out to each other as if they were miles away instead of a few feet. She glanced at Lucas, suddenly feeling nervous. ‘Tom’s back,�
� she told him, though he had to have guessed from the noise.
Leaving him in the kitchen, she hurried through to open the front door. Tom was just running up the front path and Sofie smiled at the state of him. He always left home neat and tidy, but returned as if he had been dragged through a hedge backwards. He caught sight of her and sped up.
‘Mummy! Mummy! I got a gold star!’ he exclaimed proudly and flung himself into her arms as she squatted to greet him.
Before he could squirm out of the way, she gave him a hug and a kiss. ‘That’s my clever boy,’ she declared equally proudly, ruffling his hair. ‘Did you have a good day?’
‘Yep,’ Tom confirmed, then she saw his eyes travel to look behind her and his head tipped as he stared over her left shoulder.
Knowing that Lucas had followed her out, Sofie slowly rose to her feet and turned, bringing Tom to stand before her, where she placed her hands gently on his shoulders. ‘Tom, darling, I have a wonderful surprise for you. This is your father and he’s come a long way just to see you. Be a good boy and say hello.’
Tom stared up at his father through eyes as big as saucers. ‘Hello,’ he said cautiously, clearly not sure how he felt, and Lucas came and squatted down before him, a gentle smile on his face.
He made no move to touch his son, merely held out his hand towards him. ‘Hello, Tom. I’m pleased to meet you at last,’ he declared huskily, and Sofie could hear the emotion in his voice. It made her chin wobble and brought the sting of tears to her eyes.
After a moment’s hesitation, Tom reached out and placed his hand in his father’s much larger one and they solemnly shook hands.
Taking his hand back, Tom’s face scrunched into a frown. ‘Are you really my daddy?’
‘I really am,’ Lucas confirmed, and Tom’s frown deepened.
‘Then why don’t you live with us?’ he demanded to know, getting right to the point as children had an unnerving habit of doing.
Amusement danced in Lucas’s blue eyes as he answered the question. ‘I wanted to, but things didn’t turn out the way I planned. However, that’s going to change now,’ he added, and Tom’s eyes lit up.
‘You’re going to live with us?’ he asked excitedly, not at all bothered by the missing years. Now was far more important to him.
‘We haven’t quite sorted out the details yet,’ Lucas admitted ruefully, glancing up at Sofie. ‘Have we, Mummy?’ He threw the ball into her court and she drew in a shaky breath.
‘We’re going to discuss it later, darling. That’s why Daddy’s having dinner with us,’ she explained, giving Lucas a despairing look, for he had cleverly used the moment to enforce his control of the situation and she could not argue back with Tom looking on.
Tom was oblivious to the undercurrent. He was jumping up and down with delight. ‘Neat!’ he exclaimed, before looking questioningly at his father. ‘We’re having pasta. Pasta’s my favourite. Is it your favourite too?’ he wanted to know, and Lucas nodded solemnly.
‘You know something, Tom, it is. I could eat it till it’s coming out my ears,’ he confessed, and Tom giggled.
Sofie looked on as father and son made an almost instant bond. Jealousy knocked on the door and she knew it was to be expected, having had Tom to herself all these years. Yet her heart was pleased to see them getting on so well from the start. Tom was too young to have recriminations, and Lucas would never let his anger at being kept from his son show to the boy.
‘Tom,’ she interjected softly, and he looked round instantly. ‘Why don’t you take your father into the garden and show him your tree-house?’ she suggested, and Tom caught one of Lucas’s hands in both of his and started to tug him towards the cottage.
‘Tree-house?’ Lucas queried as he very nearly staggered to his feet, clearly imagining a structure high off the ground.
‘It’s quite safe.’ She hastened to set his mind at ease. ‘In fact, you’re more likely to hit your head than Tom is.’
‘Come on, Daddy!’ Tom said insistently and there was no time for Lucas to say more; he could only turn and accompany his son back into the cottage.
Sighing heavily, Sofie watched them go and was left feeling almost lost. So much had happened in such a short space of time, she could barely take it in. Yet she couldn’t be sorry that all the hiding was over because the guilt had haunted her. Unfortunately, in place of the guilt, she now had the anxiety of wondering just what reparation Lucas was going to demand. He had let Tom believe that the three of them were going to be living together, but she had no idea what he meant.
The question of her trusting him had suddenly lost its importance in the face of the possibility of losing her son. If she had to go back to keep Tom, then she would do it. She would have no choice. What brought a lump of emotion to her throat was the knowledge that whatever love Lucas had once had for her she had killed by the manner of her leaving him. But there was no going back. Love, once lost, was gone for ever.
Giving herself a shake, she took a deep breath and braced herself for what would happen in the next few hours. Walking back into the cottage, she went through to the kitchen and was struck by the sounds of laughter floating in from the garden. Tom’s giggle was interspersed with Lucas’s much deeper voice and it made her smile again as she crossed over to the window and looked out.
The sight that met her eyes had her pressing her hand over her mouth to hold back the laughter. Tom’s tree-house was a sturdy structure complete with safety rails, built into a low-growing tree. It was the perfect size for a little boy, but not a grown man, and it was into this that Tom was trying with all his might to shove his father—to their mutual enjoyment. Eventually an exhausted Tom gave up and collapsed on to the grass; moments later Lucas lay down beside him.
It was exactly what Sofie needed to see to raise her bruised spirits. Her heart swelled to see the two people she loved enjoying each other’s company. Laughing softly, she made up two beakers of fruit squash and carried them out into the garden. Tom took his with a bright smile and another giggle.
‘Daddy was too big,’ he informed her, and she chuckled.
‘So I saw,’ she said with a grin and held out the other beaker to Lucas, who sat up to take it with one hand and used the other to grasp her free hand.
‘Join us,’ he urged, tugging her down until she had to drop to her knees.
‘I have the dinner to prepare,’ she protested, though there was very little to do as it was a simple meal to make.
Lucas looked at her steadily, his smile hiding the steely glint in his eyes. ‘I said join us,’ he repeated firmly and, after meeting his look for a moment, she swallowed hard and made no further protest. ‘That’s better,’ Lucas added with satisfaction. ‘Dinner can wait. I want to enjoy watching my son, having been deprived of the novelty for so long.’
The barb found its mark with ease. ‘How many times must I apologise for that?’ she asked tautly, keeping her voice low so Tom wouldn’t hear.
Lucas cast her a mocking glance. ‘As many times as I deem necessary. Five years is a long time.’
Sofie smiled at Tom, who grinned back, but her heart was heavy. ‘And I must pay for every one of them?’
‘Hour by hour. Minute by minute,’ he confirmed harshly, watching their son scramble to his feet and climb inside the tree-house for a comic he had left there.
Knowing she had brought this on herself didn’t make it easier to bear. ‘Maybe you won’t find revenge as sweet as you expect it to be,’ she pointed out tersely, but he shrugged.
‘It’s a risk I’m prepared to take,’ he declared, then drained his beaker of squash and shook out the drips before looking at her. ‘You’re going to have to change your name. Talbot will have to go,’ he told her, and she braced herself for the first of his demands.
‘Why?’
Before answering, Lucas glanced round to make sure Tom was safely out of earshot. ‘Because I meant what I said to Tom. The three of us are going to be a family from this point on, and that fam
ily will have only one name—Antonetti.’
CHAPTER SIX
IT WAS to be several hours before Lucas enlarged on that bald statement. Tom had jumped back out of his tree-house at that point and joined them on the lawn, so all serious conversation had to be put to one side. Then Sofie had returned to the cottage to start preparing dinner, leaving Lucas and Tom with their heads close together, discussing things only boys would be interested in.
Dinner had always been a special time for Sofie and Tom, whilst they talked about the things they had done that day. With Lucas there, an extra dimension was added. Tom, clearly impressed by the father he had finally met, and not in the least shy, tried to copy him in everything he did, and that tugged at Sofie’s heartstrings many times whilst they ate. Yet behind her relaxed attitude, her heart was fluttering anxiously. She wanted to know what else Lucas had planned and the wait was driving her crazy.
Later they returned to the sitting room, where Tom insisted on showing his father his favourite toys. Lucas appeared to have endless patience and interest, making Sofie feel guilty yet again for keeping them apart. She knew that Lucas would have enjoyed watching his son grow up. It didn’t really matter if he ever forgave her for it or not, because the fact of the matter was, she would never forgive herself.
Time passed and she was only reminded of how late it was when Tom gave an enormous yawn. Glancing at the clock, she realised with a start that it was past his bedtime.
‘Come along, sweetie. Time for bed. You’ve got school in the morning,’ she told him, getting up and holding out her hand.
Tom pulled a reluctant face, yet obediently climbed off his father’s lap. ‘OK,’ he muttered grumpily, then looked at Lucas hopefully. ‘Will you put me to bed?’
Lucas glanced from his small pleading face to Sofie’s expressionless one and ruffled Tom’s hair. ‘Not tonight, son. I think your mother would like to do that. Another time. That’s a promise.’
‘Will I see you in the morning?’ Tom wanted to know next, and both his parents realised he expected his father to vanish as suddenly as he had appeared.
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