He’d told Adie that he could preach anywhere—a cathedral or street corner—today he’d proved it to himself. He felt as if he’d come home. He could do a good job in this church, but he still had concerns. No one from Brick’s had come to the service, and Adie had walked out on him. Their future hung by a thread, but Josh knew who held the future.
He wanted to leave for Swan’s Nest immediately, but he and Tobias had to greet people as they left. Side by side, they shook hands with individuals and made small talk. As Dean approached, Josh made eye contact. The banker shook Tobias’s hand but withheld the courtesy from Josh.
“Interesting text, Reverend.” He used the title with utter disdain.
Josh ignored the slight. “Thank you.”
Dean walked away. Josh turned slightly and spotted Horace waiting with the carriage. The driver tipped his hat, not to Dean but to Josh.
Nodding back, Josh wondered what the gesture meant. Horace had come to Brick’s three Sundays in a row. The last time he’d stayed for coffee and had asked questions. Josh turned back to the reception line where a well-dressed man was offering his hand. “Reverend Blue, it’s a pleasure.
Tobias introduced Halston Smythe, the owner of the Denver Imperial Hotel and a member of the elder board. Two other men stood with him, both longtime members of Colfax Avenue Church. One had a mustache; the other wore a bowler hat.
Smythe looked at Reverend Oliver. “We hate to lose you, Tobias, but I believe we’ve found your replacement.”
“I hope so, Hal.” Tobias clapped Josh on the back. “You won’t find a better preacher west of the Mississippi, maybe in America.”
Josh had to interrupt. “Sir—”
“Don’t be modest, Josh,” Tobias insisted. “You have a gift.”
Maybe, but that gift had come from God. Josh wanted no credit for himself, but he couldn’t correct Tobias without being disrespectful. Neither could he let the flattery ride. A question crossed his mind, one that would shed light on his future. He focused on Smythe. “You gentlemen need to be aware. I have a small congregation of my own.”
“In Denver?” said the man in the vest.
“We meet in Brick’s Saloon.”
The gentleman with the mustache frowned. “We weren’t aware of your, uh, connections.”
Smythe gave a shrewd smile, a sign Josh had an ally. “Don’t trouble yourself, Pete. I liked what I heard today.”
“So did I,” Tobias added.
The man in the vest said nothing.
Smythe focused on Josh. “The elders meet Thursday evening. If you’re agreeable, we’ll ask a few questions and take a vote.”
Josh would have four days to consider the possibilities. “I’ll be there.”
“Good.” Smythe turned to the man in the vest. “I’ll speak with the elders. Would you distribute a handbill to the members? I want a big turnout.”
“Of course,” the man answered.
Josh didn’t know what would happen on Thursday night, but he knew he had a fight on his hands. The three elders continued down the walk. When the last person exited the church, Tobias turned to him. “I’m eager to see my grandson. Shall we head to Swan’s Nest?”
“Sounds good,” Josh replied.
His fight with Dean was nothing compared to the battle he expected from Adie. He wanted to know what she’d thought of his sermon and intended to ask. When the church was empty, Tobias closed the door and they headed up the street. They caught up with Adie three blocks shy of Swan’s Nest. Judging by when she’d left church, she hadn’t gone straight home. Josh suspected she’d been walking the streets, thinking about the sermon. He knew from experience that living with a hard heart didn’t shield a person from pain. It locked the pain inside.
Tobias called out to her. “Miss Clarke!”
Adie pivoted abruptly. “Good morning, gentlemen.”
Tobias moved to the right. Josh stepped to her left where his body would shield her from passing carriages. As they neared a rut in the path, he fought the urge to hold her hand to steady her. He didn’t have that right, not yet. Unless Adie’s heart softened, he never would.
Reverend Oliver winked at Josh. “Tell me, Miss Clarke. What did you think of Josh’s sermon?”
Josh wanted to know but not in front of Tobias. The older man meant well, but he didn’t understand Adie’s struggle.
“Don’t answer.” Josh tried to sound jovial. “I can’t take it back now.”
“Nor should you,” Tobias added. “You did a fine job.”
Josh hoped so, but only one opinion mattered and it belonged to the Almighty. Josh had been faithful today. He’d sleep well, except for dreams of Adie throwing rocks at Dean and Honeycutt.
Silence echoed between their footsteps. Adie stared straight ahead. “The service was very nice.”
She couldn’t have sounded colder.
Tobias rubbed his chin. “We have seven elders. My guess is a 4-3 split, with you being elected.”
Josh frowned. “That’s a bad way to start.”
“It could be 5-2, maybe 6-1 if Pete’s wife talks to him. You won’t get Dean’s vote, but that’s to be expected.”
Adie looked at Josh. “Would you take the position?”
She wanted an answer—yes or no—but he didn’t know himself. Nor did he want to have the discussion in the middle of the street with Tobias in earshot. Josh had to make his own decision. He liked stained glass. He enjoyed the choir and the massive organ, but he missed the people at Brick’s Saloon and was worried about them, particularly Gretchen who’d been quieter than usual at last Sunday’s service.
Adie was waiting for an answer, so he kept his voice neutral. “I’d consider it.”
Tobias scoffed. “Of course you’d take the position.”
“But—”
“If God opens that door, son, don’t hesitate.”
“We’ll see,” he answered.
Adie’s shoulders stayed stiff. “It was a fine sermon, Josh. I’m sure the elders will offer you the position.”
“I don’t know.”
“I do,” she said. “You fit right in.” Coming from Adie, it wasn’t a compliment. “If you accept, I imagine you’ll move into the parsonage.”
Josh hadn’t thought that far.
“It’s the end of the month,” she continued. “And I may have found a new boarder. This would be a good time to make the change.”
He couldn’t believe his ears. “You want me to leave Swan’s Nest?”
“Yes.”
Tobias interrupted. “Miss Clarke has a point. Pearl’s room is empty, and it’ll give us time to plan the transition.”
Josh didn’t even know if there would be a transition. He felt as if he’d been slugged in the gut. Swan’s Nest had become his home. He enjoyed seeing Adie during the day, working in the garden or rocking Stephen on the porch. On the other hand, he understood the need for distance between them. Josh gave her a target, someone to fight when she needed to wrestle with her own soul.
“It’s a possibility,” he said. “But what about Dean?”
Adie raised her chin. “I won’t let him intimidate me.”
“No, but he’s still a threat. Elliot arrived a few days ago, but he’s still getting settled. Until the mortgage is paid—”
“Josh?” Tobias interrupted.
He did not want the older man’s help. “What is it?”
“Frank’s going to react to your sermon. I won’t be surprised if he comes after you instead of Miss Clarke.”
Adie’s brow furrowed. “What makes you think that?”
“I’ve preached a lot of years, Miss Clarke. If everybody tells me I’ve given a good sermon, chances are I’ve just tickled their ears. But when someone picks a fight, I know the truth has hit home. Frank got called a sinner today. He didn’t like it.”
Adie had heard the same message. Judging by her scowl, she hadn’t liked it, either. When they reached the front of Swan’s Nest, Josh indicated the door to
Tobias. “Go see your grandson. I’d like a word with Miss Clarke.”
Tobias doffed his hat to Adie and went inside. As the door swung shut, Josh faced her. “Do you really want me to leave?”
“It’s for the best.”
“Why?”
She raised her chin. “I respect your faith, Josh. But I’ll never share it. I’ll hate men like Franklin Dean until I die.”
They were at the crux of their differences. Josh preached forgiveness. Adie wanted vengeance. He didn’t blame her, but he knew a simple truth. Withholding mercy caused more pain than it took away. Did he answer as a minister or a man? The minister had words for her. The man wanted to draw her into his arms.
He did neither. “Give it time.”
“There’s no point.” She squared her shoulders. “I’m grateful for everything you’ve done for me. You know I care about you, but we can’t be more than friends.”
She had a point about their differences, but Josh believed in a powerful God. The Almighty wouldn’t leave Adie hanging by her thumbs and neither would Josh. He reached for her hand. “Adie—”
She stepped back. “I’m sorry, Josh. You’re a good man.”
He’d heard enough. As a minister and a man, he had to fight for her. “I’m not ‘good’ and you know it.”
Her brows snapped together. “I’m sick of your humble pie!”
“It’s the truth.” He had to make his point. “I’m no better or worse than anyone and neither are you.”
Her voice rose. “What do you mean by that?”
“The story today…Who are you, Adie? The sinful woman or one of the hypocrites throwing rocks?”
She gasped.
“It’s got to be one or the other.”
“I’m neither.”
“That’s the problem,” he said. “You think you’re better than Dean and Honeycutt, but deep down, we’re all the same. God’s love is so vast, we can’t take it in. We’re like bugs. You might be a butterfly instead of a roach like Dean, but none of us comes within a mile of God’s goodness.”
Josh kept his eyes on her face. Either she’d understand his intent or she’d walk away still clutching stones.
Her hazel eyes glistened, then turned hard. “You’ve made your point, Reverend. I’m lower than a bug. Now go pack your things.”
She’d missed the point entirely. “Adie—”
“I’m tired of your talk. You act like you’ve got all the answers, but you don’t.”
“I know that.”
“And I know why Emily left. She got fed up with you and your know-it-all ways!”
In the past year he’d endured ulcers, a bullet wound, fevers and nearly drowning. Nothing hurt as much as that verbal stone hitting his heart.
Her lips quivered. For a moment he thought she’d apologize. Instead she turned and ran up the steps.
The sun beat on his black coat, heating the wool until he felt it on his skin. The weight pressed him down, but he knew what he had to do. Adie had ordered him to leave Swan’s Nest. If he fought to stay, she’d fight back and they’d end up in a bigger tangle. Her battle wasn’t with Josh. It was with God and he had to stay out of the way. Bruised and hurting, he went to pack his things.
Chapter Eighteen
Early Monday morning, Adie went to the carriage house to milk Buttons. As she carried the bucket back to the kitchen, she saw a silhouette in the window. Was it Josh? Hope shot through her before she came to her senses. She’d said terrible things to him. He’d packed his saddlebags and gone to the parsonage, leaving her to explain his absence at Sunday supper. Caroline had remained quiet, but Mary had shot her a critical look. Bessie had come to her aid, saying she felt sure things would work out for the best.
Adie didn’t share that hope. She regretted speaking cruelly to Josh, but she had no desire to apologize. She’d been sharp-tongued, but being put in the same camp as Franklin Dean had wounded her. Neither did she like being compared to something as common as an insect. All her life she’d felt insignificant. Josh’s high-minded attitude had turned her back into that child.
She would have welcomed a chat with Bessie or Pearl, but Adie couldn’t face Mary or Caroline. When the shadow moved past the window again, she saw Mary’s blond hair. Before she could turn back to the carriage house, her friend opened the door. She had Stephen on her hip, making it impossible for Adie to linger in the yard.
“This baby’s hungry,” Mary said.
Adie smiled at her son, but she felt morose. Stephen looked like Maggie, which meant he looked like Josh.
“I’m coming,” she said.
“Good,” Mary replied. “I have something to say.”
Reluctantly, Adie came up the steps. Mary had already started warming a bottle, so she poured the new milk into a clean pitcher. As Stephen started to fuss, she felt the same helplessness. She wanted to leave but couldn’t. Mary would follow if she made an excuse, so she took Stephen, lifted the bottle and sat to feed him.
Once he settled, she looked at Mary. “What’s on your mind?”
“You.”
Adie said nothing.
“Why did you ask Josh to leave?”
Adie looked down at Stephen. The milk had calmed him. She wished she could find a cure for herself. Instead she had to deal with Mary, a woman who had no patience with half-truths.
“We had words,” she finally said. “I didn’t like the sermon and told him so.”
“You didn’t?”
“He let Franklin Dean off the hook.”
Mary went to the stove and poured herself tea. “If that’s true, he let me off the hook, too. I never told you, but I killed a man.”
Adie caught her breath.
“It’s true.” Mary came back to the table. She took a sip from the porcelain cup, then stared out the window. “I can’t bear to talk about it, except to say I made a mistake. A judge ruled it was self-defense, but the man’s brother didn’t agree. Neither did the town. No one threw rocks at me that day, but more than a few wanted to lynch me. I’m still afraid of the brother. He vowed to track me down.”
She shook her head as if to erase the memory, then looked at Adie. “That’s why Josh’s sermon touched me. I was that woman in the square, standing alone while people said terrible things. I looked around that day and do you know what I saw?”
Adie was afraid to ask.
“I knew those people.” Mary set down the teacup with a thud. “They wanted to throw stones at me, but I wasn’t the only guilty person in that square. Every one of them had a secret.”
Looking at her friend, Adie understood what Josh had been trying to tell her. The only person at Swan’s Nest without regrets was Stephen, and he couldn’t even feed himself. Adie, too, had fallen short. She’d lied to Josh and added weeks to his anguish about Emily, yet he’d forgiven her instantly. Adie didn’t know if she could forgive Dean and Honeycutt, but she no longer wanted to throw rocks at anyone, certainly not at Josh. She’d hurt him yesterday. She needed to make amends.
Her stomach churned as she looked at Mary. “I understand now.”
Mary smiled. “So what are you going to do?”
“I need to apologize to Josh.”
“When?”
Adie sighed. “I don’t know. It’ll be a hard conversation.”
“You love him, don’t you?”
“I do, but I can’t see myself as a minister’s wife.”
Mary added sugar to her tea. “A month ago, I couldn’t see myself singing in church. If Josh takes Reverend Oliver’s place, I might join the choir.”
Would Mary be welcome? Reverend Honeycutt would have slammed the door in her face.
Mary ran her finger along the rim of the teacup. “That meeting is Thursday. Only the elders vote, but anyone can attend. Caroline and I are going. Pearl might if she’s up to it. How about you, Adie? It would mean the world to Josh.”
“I’ll have to think about it.”
Mary carried her cup to the washbasin, then
went upstairs to get dressed. With Stephen warm in her arms, Adie wondered what would happen at the elder meeting. If they voted for Josh—and let Mary sing in the choir—maybe she could make her peace with loving a minister. If not, she wanted nothing to do with such a place.
On Tuesday at twelve noon, Halston Smythe walked into Denver National Bank and greeted Frank with a handshake. The two men rarely saw eye-to-eye. Frank suspected today’s visit would be no different. At the club this morning, he’d heard talk of Reverend Blue and the plan to offer him the pulpit.
Frank objected for two reasons. He didn’t want Tobias to leave with Pearl, and he hated the thought of Joshua Blue running Colfax Avenue Church. Tobias hadn’t been easy to manipulate, but Frank had managed to do it. Until Sunday, he’d thought Tobias was on his side. Now he wondered. The old man hadn’t confronted him directly, but his decision to leave Denver didn’t bode well. Frank had visited the parsonage, but the old man had been at Swan’s Nest, a sign that he’d reconciled with Pearl.
Frank didn’t like being the odd man out. He didn’t like Smythe, either. This morning he’d pump the man for information and send him on his way. Hiding his annoyance, he indicated the chair across from his. “Please, have a seat.”
Smythe lowered his round body on to the leather. “I’ll get to the point, Frank. Tobias and Pearl are leaving Denver.”
“So I’ve heard.”
“Have you heard why?”
The entire church knew about Pearl’s pregnancy and his involvement. He’d survived the scrutiny by making subtle threats to members who depended on his bank, and by wearing his broken heart on his sleeve. He played that card now.
“I admit it. Pearl and I made a mistake.” Frank deliberately looked morose. “I’ve begged her to marry me, but she won’t.”
“My wife tells me the ‘mistake’ was yours.”
“What do you mean?”
Smythe rose from the chair, planted his hands on the desk and leaned so close Frank could smell peppermint on his breath. The man’s voice came out in a low whisper. “You know exactly what I mean.”
Smythe’s tone meant one thing. Pearl had been spreading lies. Frank wanted to smack her. He settled for glaring at the elder. “Come on, Hal. You know how things go.”
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