It had felt like the right thing to do at the time, considering the fact that the Shadow Army was such a prominent part of his family history. His father had done it for fifteen years and came out a likeable, well rounded (though acutely evasive) character, ready to marry and start a family. He had been a loyal and active participant in Shadow life, only meeting his wife Gloria upon completion of his service. William had always hoped to follow somewhere along those lines and wanted to make his parents proud.
He nervously stepped into the stifling drawing room to find his mother, father and grandfather waiting for him. His mother, perfect and kind, stood as he walked in and looked over William’s appearance with a smile on her face. She adjusted his bow tie in no specific way and smoothed his shoulders. Gloria Poisonwood looked glamorous in her gold dress, poised and ready as ever for the people of the city.
“Are you okay?” She asked William evenly.
“Yes, I’m just fine as always, mother,” he told her, hoping she wasn’t worrying about him.
”You seem sad,” she said, clearly unconvinced.
He patted her arm reassuringly. “I’m not sad. I’m okay, I promise. I’ll try and visit properly soon. If grandfather will allow it.”
Gloria Poisonwood turned and looked expectantly at her father-in-law, eyebrows raised. “Well?”
Walter nodded grumpily, avoiding eye contact. “Yes, yes,” he muttered.
She turned back to William and shook her head knowingly. Giving him a small wink, Gloria asked, “So, are you ready?”
William nodded. “Hair’s brushed, suit’s on. I’m ready.”
“Okay, then. People will start arriving soon. Come on, darling.” She took the arm of her husband, William Senior, and leaned back to grab her son to take her other arm. Together they headed into the great hall to await the arrival of their guests.
The dinner tables were weighed down with food that the kitchen staff had spent days preparing. It was a delicious meal and William finished off feeling full and content. Despite the chatter and heavy conversations going on around him, he couldn't help but felt apart from it all. He made small talk with the people nearby, but took none of it in and paid no attention to what he was saying out loud.
It had all been done numerous times before and he reeled off the usual falsities about his work on the Outside. They thought that his job involved travelling around the cities as an ambassador for Poisonwood, promoting peace and union across the Realm. It all suddenly seemed ridiculous, and William found himself feeling suffocated by the incessant vibe of aristocracy and meaningless politics which surrounded him. He prayed for the stuffy dinner section of the evening to be over soon, so that he could slip into obscurity for the duration of the night.
Dessert was forced down and chased with a large glass of red wine. Overall, the dinner was uneventful. The infamous Poisonwood balls notoriously grew more rousing once the guests had eaten and finished off numerous bottles of Walter’s finest wines and spirits. This was when the latecomers and uptown staff would begin to filter in and join the party.
The atmosphere grew thick with anticipation. All of the dinner guests stood and moved into the next room. The orchestra was set up at one end, already playing, and everyone spread out across the room, enjoying the space and air while they could. A set of double doors which led to the gardens had been thrown open to prevent the room from getting too warm.
It was midsummer; a time of luxuriously long days which stretched into extended evenings. Expectation and the prospect of mystery and romance hung in the air. A hazy golden glow seemed to fill the room and everyone and everything appeared beautiful. As the room filled, cars continued to pull up at the front of the house, all crammed with yet more guests. Unsure who to talk to, William awkwardly grouped together with some of the other Shadows. Feeling decidedly taciturn, he sat down next to Kasper, who was drowning his sorrows, still grieving over the death of his friend.
“How are you doing?”
Kasper shrugged gloomily. “I’m okay, I suppose. My family is here tonight, so that makes me feel a bit better.”
“Why are you not with them?”
“Too much talking. Though I’ve always enjoyed the balls, you know? I just need a bit of courage to get me there first. It just…hits me at funny times, you know?”
“I know. I feel it too, friend.” William stood and patted Kasper on the shoulder.
He paused to take in the surrounding social miasma which had sunk heavily upon the room. People were dancing, chitchatting in animated groups, drinking, laughing, shouting and taking in the appearance of other guests, furtively making their judgements, young girls surreptitiously inspecting the boys and reviewing the dresses of other girls, comparing them to their own. The boys were discreetly watching the girls, not yet confident enough to try talking to them, while simultaneously scoping out their competition.
William took it all in, knowing full well that he wasn’t and couldn’t be a part of this. He looked for Alaster who, always the most confident of the bunch, was found talking to a pretty red head. In a room filled with half the city, or so it seemed, William had never felt more alone. Eventually, he ended up sat next to Kasper again, who generously shared the bottle of wine which he had tactfully hidden beneath his chair. William sipped at the ruby red liquid, listening introspectively as Kasper recalled his escapades with Zachary.
“I'll miss him,” said Kasper, sighing and looking across the room at the large group of people dancing joyously.
“What would he be doing if he were here?” William asked.
Kasper sniggered to himself. “He’d be out back with a girl. He never cared about those rules. He thought they were stupid. Don’t tell your grandfather though,” he added on as an afterthought.
William scoffed. “I think they’re bloody stupid too. We’re not allowed to do anything. It’s something to keep in mind if I ever get the run of the Army I suppose.”
“I don’t envy you, Will, I have to say.”
“Tell me about it. Half the time I just feel like running away from it all.”
Kasper nodded slowly. “I’m with you there.”
“Hey, I’m going to nip out for some air. I’ve got a bit of a headache. Are you staying here?”
Kasper nodded, more than content to spend the evening slowly consuming his wine. The room had grown swelteringly hot, and the lack of air combined with the alcohol had left William with a strong desire to be outside in the cool manor garden.
Stepping out, he breathed in the fresh, earthy air and headed down the central path to walk around the grounds. As it was still relatively early on, most guests were still inside enjoying themselves. The exquisitely beautiful Poisonwood Garden expanded across the limits of the city; acre after acre of flower gardens and orchards meticulously cared for by an expansive team of gardeners. William had spent his childhood running around the grounds, and though it felt odd to be here again, it certainly felt better than being inside. He followed his same old route, passed the apple trees, followed by a shortcut through the flower gardens. The area had been lit by yet more tiny twinkle lights, to create an atmosphere of enchantment and roses, ideal for wandering partygoers seeking magic and romance, but William knew that even his parents wouldn’t find him where he was going.
Looking up at the watercolour sky, he walked on, grateful as the sounds of the party fell away. The evening was slowly sinking into darkness. It was the time of night when everything seems heightened - the scents and sounds of dusk, the blooming colour in the flowers and surrounding greenery, somehow cast with tones of gold and blue. Fireflies floated ahead, and in spite of his solitude, William noted that his mood was slowly rising in the temporary augustness of the evening delights.
As he upped the pace, eager to reach his destination, William heard a sudden crunch, like crushed twigs behind him. Rolling his eyes, he carried on walking, surprised that guests had ended up in the bushes already. He shook his head and hoped that nobody would follow, as his u
nwillingness to socialise grew, when he heard a voice behind him.
“It’s you.”
It sounded distantly familiar, however the voice was female and William couldn’t think of who it might be. With a sigh, he turned to look at who could be talking to him, in no mood to fend off some desperate social climber, perhaps one of the daughters of a family friend. However, when he laid eyes on the girl, his stomach jumped.
“Scarlett?”
She watched him curiously, her mind working to put together pieces that wouldn’t fit. Blurry, distant colours that had sunken into the depths of his memory now blazed bright. No longer the timid, lost girl with the torn outfit and smeared make-up, she was now nothing less than resplendent. Her long, dark hair hung down passed her shoulders in light curls and her fair skin glowed in the moonlight. She wore a long black dress, well-fitting but straightforward, unlike the busy, overly detailed dresses that the other girls wore. When he said her name, she half smiled at him questioningly.
“You remembered me,” she said, her mystified eyes still staring at him.
What could he say? What words were he supposed to pull into being that would enable him to speak freely to her? William glanced down at the ground, awkwardly shoving his hands into his trouser pockets.
“Of course I remembered you,” he said quietly, more to the grass beneath his feet than anywhere else. A heavy silence descended as he waited for her to talk again. William nervously looked up to see that she was still watching him uncertainly.
“Are you here with your family?” She asked.
Nodding slowly, William replied, “Yes. Yes I am.” Unable to take her steady gaze, he set his own back to the ground, wondering where his ability to converse freely had gone. William was sure that he had always been a confident person, but all of a sudden he found that his lifelong certitude had been stripped away, leaving nothing more than an awkward young man incapable of making conversation.
He looked up as Scarlett spoke again, “I was out here already by the way, just exploring the gardens. I didn’t follow you out here.”
“I never thought that.” He cleared his throat and attempted to regain some of his previous mystique. “Um…why are you not inside enjoying the party?”
“I just wanted some air. It’s overwhelming in there,” Scarlett replied uneasily. She looked around at her surroundings self-consciously, before her expression grew curious again. “I never expected to see you here.”
“Well, I’m, uh. I’m from these parts, you know?”
“I guessed. You don’t talk like you’re from downtown,” she said. “I’ve never been to one of these parties before. I’d heard that Shadows attend, but nobody really knew for sure.”
William avoided eye contact and attempted a polite nod.
“Well…I’ll go now. I'm sorry I bothered you,” Scarlett said quietly.
William had no idea what to say. Did his identity really matter? She already knew what his true profession was and that was the real secret. Surely he should be able to tell her who his family were? They weren’t the part of his life that was supposed to be concealed, so as she turned to walk away, he let it spill out regardless.
“Wait. I’m William Poisonwood. Walter Poisonwood is my grandfather. This is my home.” He gestured vaguely across the grounds and back towards the house, as if the words themselves didn’t explain it well enough.
Scarlett stopped and turned back to face him again. “I’ve heard of you. I thought you were some kind of ambassador who travelled around the Realm.”
William shrugged. “That’s what they tell people. That’s what I’m supposed to tell people.”
Now that the pressure to hide his identity had lifted, his convictions and quiet intensity came flooding back and he began to feel more like himself. She watched him, still puzzled, but now more amused than surprised.
“It’s astounding. It makes sense though. I mean, your family created the Shadow Army. Is that right?”
William found that he was inclined to continue talking. “I suppose so. The Shadow Army was originally the creation of my great grandfather. I prefer to keep my connections quiet though. If I can. It doesn’t define who I am.”
Scarlett gave a small, ironic laugh. “I know what you mean.” She gazed around at the vast gardens. “So, you grew up here?”
“I did,” he replied hesitantly, embarrassed by the unnecessary grandeur of Poisonwood Manor.
“Very impressive.” She glanced back at him briefly, her dark eyes amused and bright.
William coughed uneasily and attempted to regain his calm composure once again. His senses screamed danger.
“You should go back inside,” he told her.
“Even on a night off, you’re not supposed to talk to people?”
“We are allowed. Just not alone. Not out here,” William muttered, looking back to the house and all around to make sure nobody was nearby.
Scarlett watched him for a few more moments before finally speaking again, “Okay.”
William hated himself instantly. He watched as she turned away once more. His insides twisted and he recalled what Kasper had told him earlier. Zachary hadn’t cared about the rules. None of them did.
He called after her again, desperate to explain himself. “You know…Shadows aren’t allowed to have personal attachment or friendships with people outside of the army. Not really.” Scarlett stopped and turned back to him for the second time. “We can’t become emotionally involved, or care. We can’t touch. We’re forbidden to love.”
“I know,” she said quietly, then paused, as if thinking of a way to respond. Unable to come up with anything, Scarlet replied meaningfully, “Enjoy your party.” She half shrugged and turned to walk away for a third time.
William didn’t know what else he could say. He watched as her small body disappeared off into the orchard back towards the house. With the deepest of sighs, he slipped down to the ground, heart sinking. The party would be over soon and then it would be back to the Academy, back to the missions, the battles and rescue operations. That part he could handle, but it was the difficulty that Walter continued to present that he could not stand.
William stayed outside for the remainder of the party. As much as he wanted to go back in, he couldn’t face it. Not now. He missed the way it used to be. He missed his best friend. Who knew when Everett would return from his mission? After a long time spent processing his thoughts, William stood and took his time in walking back to the party, paying no attention to his surroundings, or the couples who now lurked in darkened corners.
Upon re-entering the house, William saw that the festivities were beginning to break up. He knew that he was supposed to be with his parents right now, dutifully bidding the guests goodnight, but he didn’t have the strength for such falsities, so quietly exited the room and walked heavily up the staircase to his bedroom.
Opening the grand double doors to the balcony, William watched from above as the crowds dissipated. He could make out a few people below as they flowed out of the house and into waiting cars - the incessant Goldtrapps, the elderly Winters couple, and there behind them were the Clearharts. William recognised them instantly because Vincent Clearhart had long been a silent benefactor of the Shadow Army.
They were waiting in line for a car - Vincent and Celia, their daughter behind them, and next to her, there was Scarlett. He watched as the family climbed into the car and set off back into the city. William walked back downstairs to find his family, approaching them as they finally closed the door on the last guest.
“William, where have you been all night?” Cried his mother. “We were looking for you to say goodbye to everyone!”
“I’ve been here enjoying the party, mother. I’m sorry. I must have lost track of time.”
He noticed that both his father and grandfather were looking at him suspiciously.
“We couldn’t find you anywhere!”
“I was outside for a while with some of the other boys, and then I wa
s dancing and talking to people the rest of the evening. Just the usual. You must have kept missing me.”
“Yes, yes. It’s a shame, but oh well! Not to worry. Did you have a good time?” She asked.
“Yes, it was lovely,” William said drily. “I’m rather tired now, so I think I’ll head on up to bed.”
“Back to work tomorrow, young man,” said Walter gruffly.
“Yes. I am aware of that.”
“Bright and early,” he reiterated, still staring him down sceptically.
“Yes. I know,” came the sharp response. “Goodnight, mother,” William added, his tone warmer as he kissed her lovingly on the cheek.
He gave a brief nod to the men, before heading back up to his room. William spent so little time here now that it felt like the bedroom of a stranger. Climbing into bed, he gazed out of the large window at the moon hanging high over the Poisonwood skyline. The night would be long.
Chapter Nine
In the weeks that followed, Scarlett spent most of her time in a daydream. The city seemed increasingly smaller these days, and though she loved her adopted family, she found the routine suffocating. It left her feeling fuzzy and frustrated, with a tightness in her chest that was impossible to unwind. Sometimes dreams of William Poisonwood would flicker into her mind while she was sleeping. They were always blurry, watercolour dreams that confused her when she awoke.
“We’re forbidden to love,” he had said.
Forbidden…
Scarlett had replayed those few moments thousands of times, over and over, expanding on possibilities and things that she should have said. She had hundreds of questions, with new ones forming every second as she sleepwalked through her chores day after day.
The summer seemed to last longer than usual. Stifling heat sought to asphyxiate the city with heated pavements and a hazy shimmering on the roads ahead. It was uncomfortably hot with no escape. Scarlett would walk the downtown streets, her mind elsewhere. She would sit on benches and watch the roofs of the city, wondering if he had been up there the previous night or perhaps he would be up there later on when darkness fell?
The Shadow: The Poisonwood Shadows Book One Page 6
