by S. A. Moss
Alex pushed off from the windowsill, drawn by my words or the frantic gleam in my eye. “Yeah?”
“So…” I drew the word out as I thought ahead several steps, testing my theory in my head. “What if instead of trying to free each Guardian individually, we go after the source of all the binds? My dad.”
“What do you mean?”
I was getting so excited about this line of thinking that I strode towards him, grabbing his broad shoulders and staring hard into his eyes. “What if we strain him even more? If we go after him with everything we have, maybe we can break all the Guardians’ binds at once. Like you said, every Guardian we free is one more on our side in this fight.”
Alex’s face split into a wide grin, and he caught my wrists. “Right! And if we could get that many more on our side in one fell swoop—”
“We could actually win this and bring them all back before Akaron completes his portal!” I finished triumphantly.
“Holy shit. That’s brilliant, Cam!”
“Right? We can beat the Fallen at their own damn Guardian-snatching game!”
Alex laughed, and the next thing I knew, he’d picked me up and was spinning me around. I whooped, feeling giddy. This was even better than storming into the Fallen camp half-cocked. We had a plan. We could win.
I wasn’t sure if I moved or Alex did, or if we both moved together, but before my brain could catch up to what was happening, my lips met his.
And unlike our fake kisses in public to maintain our cover, this one was very, very real.
It was like a drink of water after a thousand days in the desert.
He stopped spinning and set me on my feet, but his hands stayed on my waist, pulling my body toward him. I followed willingly, winding my arms around his neck and pressing as much of myself to him as I could.
Every minute I’d spent trying to ignore the tension between us, trying to forget what his lips had felt like, trying not to imagine his hands on my body—every single one of those minutes built up behind this kiss, making it hungry and desperate.
There was a tiny voice in the back of my brain saying this was a mistake, but that just made me more determined to grab every bit of pleasure I could from this moment before reality came crashing back down.
My lips parted, inviting his tongue inside. His breath was warm and minty, and his gasps were just as loud and sharp as mine. Our tongues danced, our teeth clashing in desperation. I was sure I’d never experienced anything as amazing as this in all my life or afterlife.
Alex’s hands moved down from my waist, palming my ass. We stumbled backward, colliding with the wall, and I lifted one leg to twine it around his body, grabbing handfuls of his hair to keep his mouth firmly on mine. As mortality flooded my body, my heart thudded a quick beat in my chest, filling me with an electric energy.
Finally, Alex ripped his mouth from mine like a drowning man coming up for air. He was breathing heavily as he stared down at me, his sandy hair even more tousled than normal from my fingers. I met his gaze, licking my bruised and suddenly bereft lips, my chest heaving. My heart was racing like I’d just sprinted a mile.
I expected him to step away, to drop his hold on me and say we’d made a mistake. But he didn’t move. His body was still pressed flush against mine, one hand on my low back and one behind my neck. His gaze traced over my face, and the heat in his green eyes was tempered by something else—tenderness. I bit my lip, a wave of such strong emotions crashing over me that it made my knees weak. It was a good thing I was sandwiched firmly between Alex and the wall, or I would’ve slid down to the floor.
But still, I somehow felt like he was about to back away, to say this could never happen again. Maybe he hadn’t initiated this at all, maybe I’d been the one to kiss him.
“I didn’t mean—”
I started to speak, but cut off when Alex put both hands on the sides of my face, cupping my chin gently.
He lowered his lips to mine again, but this kiss was the opposite of the previous one. That had been a flurry of lips and teeth and hot breath. This one was gentle and deep, slow and… intentional.
I sighed into his mouth, mingling my breath with his. My hands slipped down to his waist, feeling the muscles of his stomach contract as I ran a featherlight touch over them and around to his back. The rapid pace of my heart slowed, but I could feel every beat like a dull thud in my chest. A fire sparked low in my belly and spread through the rest of me, making my skin flush.
When our lips broke apart again, Alex rested his forehead against mine. For a moment, we just stayed like that, our eyes closed, savoring each other’s touch. His hands were still wrapped around my head, and I could feel the rough pads of his thumbs running softly across my cheeks.
“I’ve wanted to do that for a long time,” he admitted softly.
I opened my eyes, and he drew back a fraction, his green gaze warm and intense.
“Me… me too.”
My admission made his lip quirk, drawing out his dimple on one side. He looked a little relieved, which almost made me laugh. Had he been worried I didn’t want him? I’d been worried he’d take out a restraining order with all the drooling and staring I’d been doing.
“But I thought you said—” I started, but he cut me off.
“The whole partners thing? Yeah. I was freaked out. I hadn’t even known you existed until a few days before that. I’d thought I was going crazy, imagining some girl I’d seen a few times who’d gotten stuck in my head. And then to find out that you were some kind of powerful supernatural on top of that? I didn’t know how to handle it.”
“And now?” I asked quietly.
He chuckled lightly, tracing a finger down the side of my face. “I still don’t know how to handle it.”
“I dunno. I thought you handled it pretty well.” I gave him a wicked grin, pressing my body closer to his.
“Well, I do what I can,” he said, dropping another kiss on my lips. He tried to pull back, but I tightened my arms around him, chasing his lips and drawing out the kiss. I still couldn’t believe this was happening, and I wasn’t willing to let any part of it go to waste in case it never happened again.
I could’ve died—again—happy in that moment.
I’d never put a lot of time or effort into dating when I was alive. I’d had a couple short relationships that burned out quickly, and I’d started to wonder if I was a cold fish. Now I realized I’d just been waiting for someone to light me up.
We were both breathless again when our kiss broke. I had definitely been falling out of practice breathing, because now I couldn’t seem to suck in oxygen fast enough.
“I like you, Cam.” Alex’s hands settled low on my waist, his fingers digging gently into my hips. “You’re strong and brave and so incredibly goofy. And you care more about people than anyone I’ve ever met.” He shook his head, like he couldn’t believe he was actually saying all this out loud. “The first time I saw you, I thought you were the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. But I didn’t have a damn clue. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known. Inside and out.”
My heart expanded as my lungs constricted, and I forgot to breathe for long enough that my next inhale was a loud dragging gasp.
Geez. So smooth, Cam.
Breathing out slowly and trying to calm my racing heart—how did humans do this? I’d already forgotten—I met Alex’s green gaze. A little line had appeared between his eyebrows as he tried to gauge my reaction and waited for a response from me.
Ugh. I wasn’t very articulate at the best of times, and right now so little of my blood flow was directed toward my brain that I’d be lucky if I could string two words together, much less make them as incredible as what Alex had just said.
“I… I like you too, Alex. A lot.”
It was definitely a contender for “Awkward Understatement of the Year,” but Alex didn’t seem to mind. The line between his brows smoothed out as he slowly lowered his mouth to mine.
“We�
��ve got a plan. And we’ve got some time to kill,” he murmured against my parted lips. “What do you want to do now?”
My grip on him tightened reflexively, my fingers digging into the broad muscles of his back.
I had so many ideas.
26
The key to a successful stakeout, I discovered, was lots of kissing.
It helped pass the time.
It was a great stress reliever.
It made the terrifying battle we were facing against a powerful demon army fade into the background for a few precious hours.
Seriously, I was never going on another stakeout without bringing a hot guy to make out with. Preferably the one currently sleeping beside me.
Alex and I had eventually torn ourselves away from the wall and made it to the bed. Mindful of the fact that we were supposed to be on a stakeout, we kept our clothes on—well, mostly—even though it killed me. But I did not want my first time with him to be interrupted by a Fallen attack. Talk about killing the mood.
Besides, even though we’d made our feelings about each other pretty clear, there was still so much we hadn’t talked about. And holding top billing in that category was, “What the hell does this mean for us?” Followed quickly by, “How can we possibly make this work?”
I didn’t have answers to those questions, and whenever I thought about them too hard, my chest clenched up and my heart lurched painfully. So I did the mature thing and ignored them. I didn’t know what this thing between us was, and I didn’t know how it could ever actually become something real and lasting. But I knew how his lips felt on mine, how his breath felt against my ear, and how his tongue felt tracing a line over my collar bone. And right now, that was all I wanted to know. Everything else could wait.
I looked over at Alex, who was sleeping on his stomach in the bed next to me. The covers were pulled up to our waists, and he had an arm draped loosely over my stomach.
Even in sleep, his power was affecting me, keeping my heart beating and lungs drawing in air by the casual touch of his body. The last thing he’d whispered to me before he’d drifted off was, “Stay with me.”
The muscles of his back flexed as he shifted slightly, drawing me a little closer to him. I’d always been drawn to his combination of masculine strength and boyish charm, and in his arms I felt both safe and deeply protective. I liked that he didn’t doubt my power, didn’t need me to be a wilting damsel he could look out for. I also liked that he would jump out of tall buildings to rescue me. I chewed my lip, remembering the promise he’d made after the nightclub fight, when the Council had agreed to let me stay on as his Guardian.
If you protect me, I’m going to protect you right back.
I was falling in love with him.
I’d never found the words to tell him anything close to how I felt, and he’d stopped short of actually saying those words to me tonight. But I was pretty sure he was falling just as hard as I was. This was what I’d been holding out for all those years when I’d bailed on mediocre dates to go study with Sarah instead. Someone who I liked as much as I lusted after. Someone who made even a dangerous, terrifying, against-all-odds mission feel occasionally fun.
I grabbed his hand from my stomach and brought it to my face, enjoying the feel of his fingers brushing my cheeks as I kissed his palm. Then I slid sideways and set his hand on the bed where I’d been lying. He grumbled softly in his sleep at the absence of my body, and I bit back a smile. Damn, he was cute.
Padding quietly over to the window, I stared out at the dark Chicago streets. The red numbers on the clock by the bedside blinked 3:42, and the streets below were deserted. Police tape had been set up around the entrance to the Hancock building. Hopefully, that meant the building had been evacuated and would stay empty for a while. The fewer humans present during the upcoming fight, the better.
A flicker of light by the door caught my attention, and I glanced over, thinking Alex had slipped out of bed while I was distracted.
But he was still sleeping peacefully.
The aura of a supernatural glowed from the shadows near the doorway.
A yelp caught in my throat. I faded to the mid-plane quickly, raising my hands to attack as the figure came into view, but before I could harness any energy, my hands were yanked roughly back to my sides. The familiar, sickening feeling of being bound flooded me. I could still move my head, but that was the only part of my body I had any control over. The rest of me was completely immobilized.
Damn it!
My eyes lifted to meet the intruder’s gaze.
How was he so freaking fast? I hadn’t even managed to start thinking about trying to block his bind before I was completely trapped.
Swallowing the bitter frustration and disappointment, I schooled my features into a cold mask. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of seeing my fear. He already knew he had me beaten. I didn’t have to confirm it for him.
Instead, I dedicated part of my attention to slowly unraveling his bind from me. I’d never done this before, and from what Reeva had said, it was much harder to break a bind that was already secured than it was to stop a bind from attaching in the first place. I had to try though. And to have any chance of success, I had to buy myself time.
Gritting my teeth, I forced my voice to sounds as casual as possible. “Oh hey, Dad. I didn’t see you there.”
My father stepped out from the shadows, his teeth gleaming in the dim light as he smiled. “You are your mother’s daughter, Camille, no question. Tough as nails. And funny, too.”
“Really? I wonder if Mom would have found your decision to help the Fallen take over the world funny,” I bit out, then grimaced. So much for my cool mask.
Don’t antagonize the powerful supernatural, Cam.
Even if he is your dad.
And a major asshole.
But my father, instead of being angered by the taunt, seemed to take my question seriously. His face grew pensive as he answered. “No, I don’t think she would find it funny. But I have to believe she would understand my reasons.”
“Well, I don’t understand, Dad. Please explain them to me!” I wished I could move, even just to pace around. The energy building up inside my body had no outlet—except, apparently, my mouth.
My dad stepped farther into the room, settling into the chair by the window and rotating me so I was still facing him. His casual manipulation of my body was infuriating.
“Have you thought about my proposal?” He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his splayed knees and steepling his fingers. “Do you have an answer for me?”
I bared my teeth at him. “Yeah, I do. And you know what, I want to thank you for giving me a few days to consider it. It gave me time to figure out exactly what I wanted to say. My answer is no, absolutely not, oh and by the way, go fu—”
“This isn’t a joke, Cam.” His quiet voice cut off my curse. He considered me gravely before adding, “Everything is going to change when Akaron comes through the portal. I won’t be able to protect you. Not unless you’re already on our side.”
Fear ate a hole in my stomach. Even my dad seemed a little afraid of Akaron, and that did not bode well for the rest of us. But I lifted my chin in defiance. “I don’t need you to protect me.”
A little muscle in my dad’s jaw ticked. Had he honestly expected this conversation to go differently? Had he thought I’d run into his arms and tell him I’d changed my mind? If he really believed I would defect to his side, why had he bound me like this?
“Who do you think is going to protect you then, Cam?” My dad raised his head, his eyes reflecting the light from outside in an eerie glow. His gaze moved slowly from me to Alex’s sleeping form, and the fear in my stomach poured like molten lava through the rest of my body. “Him?”
He stood like a lazy cat, his predatory stare fixed on Alex. When Dad stalked toward the bed, he didn’t turn my body, so I had to crane my neck as far as it would go to keep my eyes on him. I was practically pulling an exorcist move, my
head was so far over my shoulder, but I could barely see my father’s figure out of the corner of my eye. He stood by the bed, watching Alex’s chest rise and fall slowly.
“Dad! No! Don’t!” I screamed, panic making it hard to form a coherent thought. “I swear to God, or the universe, or whatever the hell is listening out there, if you hurt him, I’ll—”
“I’m not going to hurt him.” My dad’s voice floated over to me, doing nothing to tamp down my fear.
“If you kill him—”
“I’m not going to kill him.”
His tone was calm and assured. I couldn’t help but believe him, although I didn’t trust him any farther than I could throw him—which, given my current state, wasn’t far at all.
“You better not.” I was gasping for air, even though I didn’t need it.
There was a pause, and then my dad spoke again. “I’m hoping you will.”
27
I stopped breathing.
My dad slowly rotated my body toward the bed, dragging me closer until I was standing next to him, looking down at Alex’s peaceful face. A helpless tear slid down my cheek.
“Never,” I vowed.
The tear dropped off my chin, and my dad reached out, stopping the one that followed in its tracks and brushing it away. I had half a mind to spit at him or try to bite his finger off—how freaking dare this monster act comforting?
“You care for him, don’t you?” He withdrew his hand, his voice heavy.
“None of your business, Dad. Besides, it’s a little late for you to tell me who I can and can’t date.”
I realized that in my shock, I’d gotten distracted from my efforts to unweave the bind. Quickly, I refocused my attention on the aether woven into my own energy, trying to find a loose thread.
My father’s brows drew together, and he scrubbed his hand over his mouth. I remembered that movement from when I was a kid. He always did it when he was trying to explain something particularly complex to me.
“It’s not about that, Cam. I’m trying to help you understand.” He gestured to Alex. “This man is dust. Temporary and fleeting. His existence, compared to yours, will be over in the blink of an eye. He shouldn’t be protected any more than an insect.” He must’ve seen my face draw tight, because he held up a hand. “If you saw a spider in the sink, would you save it or flush it down the drain? Maybe it would depend on the day, or your mood. But either way, your life would go on unchanged. That insect, and its life or death, would mean nothing to you. This is what humans should mean to immortals.”
