by Connor Crowe
Unfortunately, she still wasn’t having it.
Lana herded us back to the door like a fussy schoolmarm. I had my hand on the door handle, about to sigh and come back another time, when I heard a door open from behind us.
“James? Is that you?”
I whirled around to see Lionel peeking out. His glasses hung askew and his hair stuck up in all directions, messier than I’d ever seen it. The poor guy had been through the wringer and then some.
“It is,” I said sweetly, making sure Lana saw my glare. “But we just missed visiting hours, so we were on our way out.”
“What?” Lionel yelped. He turned on Lana, his gaze still serious through his exhausted demeanor. “We’ve been waiting for them—it’s not their fault they were late.”
“They should have come on time,” Lana sniffed. “Look at yourself. You need sleep, and so do your mate and son. You’ll thank me later.”
Lionel waved us over and crossed his arms. “With all due respect, I think I can decide who to see and when to rest.”
Lana huffed, throwing her hands up in the air. “Fine,” she muttered at last. “Not like anyone listens to me anyway.” She turned to us. “My shift’s up at the top of the hour—that’s in fifteen minutes. I’ll give you that long, then you’re out. Hear me?”
I nodded, grateful that she’d finally given in. “Thank you,” I said earnestly. I bowed my head and motioned for my men to follow. “Really, thank you,” I added. “I’ll make it up to you, okay?”
She just sighed and waved us into the room. “If it was anyone else, James…”
“I know, I know.”
“Go on.” This time the smallest hint of a smile brightened her face. “Time’s ticking.”
“Sorry about that,” Lionel muttered as he held the door open for us. “She’s been fussing like that all day.”
I gave him an apologetic smile. “You do look tired, but I know what you mean. She’s always been the must uptight on staff. She means well, it’s just…she has a hard time expressing that sometimes.”
Lionel paused. “Yeah. It’s been a crazy time for all of us, huh?”
“Tell me about it,” I agreed.
We passed down a short hallway and through another door into Kit’s room. There was a large bed set up with piles of blankets, a mound of pillows so that Kit could rest upright, and a machine nearby to track his vitals.
Kit, bless his heart, had his head slumped backward into the pillows, his mouth hanging open just slightly. The baby nestled into his arms slept soundly as well, his precious little face a mask of serenity.
I drew in a breath, everything else forgotten as I watched the new father and son. They even slept the same way, pressing their face against the pillow with their mouth slightly open, snoring ever so quietly while their chests rose and fell.
“They must be exhausted,” Tristan whispered to Lionel. His face flushed a wild pink color, the same adoration lighting up his eyes.
“I wouldn’t have called you back here if I knew they were sleeping. They were awake just moments ago, but it’s been a tiring day.” Lionel shrugged. “It’s called labor for a reason.”
“I can’t imagine,” Tristan mused. I couldn’t help but notice the note of bitterness in his voice.
Oh, Tristan.
“We can come back later,” Hugo offered. “Your nurse was trying to get us to leave anyway.”
“Wait.” I couldn’t take my eyes off the swaddled babe in Kit’s arms. Something twisted inside me and wrenched at my heart. I wanted that. Oh, how I wanted that.
“What’s his name?” I whispered to Lionel. To be honest, I was coming up with any excuse to stay a little longer. To breathe in that fresh baby smell and imagine, if only for a few seconds, what it must be like to have one of our own.
“It’s Beau.” Kit’s voice startled me. He opened his eyes halfway, looking at us fondly with that half-asleep glaze. “Beau Dupree.”
Beau. When I looked upon that perfect, peaceful face I couldn’t think of a better name.
“Clever, isn’t it?” Lionel pointed out. “Where I come from, Beau means ‘handsome one.’”
“That he is,” Hugo agreed. “Congratulations, both of you.”
“Thank you,” Lionel said, bowing his head in gratitude. “You don’t know how much it means to me. They say it’s the first ever recorded human-shifter mating to bear a child.” His face positively glowed with pride as he looked upon his mate and son. “We’re making history, babe.”
There was that swelling, that sense of longing and loneliness once more. I wanted to leave, but not as much as I wanted to stay. I’d never wanted—and never realized I wanted—something so much before, and at any other time I would have called myself crazy.
Guess I really was head over heels for these two, I thought with an inward smile. The dedicated James, finally ready to take a break and settle down…
I huffed out a chuckle and shook my head at the thought. I was getting ahead of myself. “Do you think he’ll turn out to be a shifter like Kit?” I asked, to keep my mind on something else.
“Don’t know,” Lionel said. “Guess we’ll have to wait and see.”
Kit moved slightly in bed, sitting further upright while still holding the babe close to his chest. Beau didn’t even stir. He blinked and smiled warmly at us, a little more awake now.
“Thank you for coming,” he said to the three of us. “Really. I know Lionel already said it, but…thank you. Not just for coming to see me today. For everything.”
It sure had been some ride. From the initial discovery of Felix and the Black Hands to the excursions across the world and finally climaxing in the floating spires of Ataraxis, we had given it all to make the world whole again.
And though things weren’t perfect, I’d learned something. There would always be evil out there. Without it, there would be no good. We could keep up the good fight for all of eternity and never fully root it out. But what we could do? Stay true to ourselves. Our families. Focus on changes at home, in our communities, and in our selves.
Because it may not seem like much at scale, but those small acts of kindness and change had a ripple effect. When we came together, we could be more than the sum of our parts.
That’s the message that I hoped to impart on our children. If—god willing—we had any.
I wanted to tell them how I felt. Think of some blessing for the child or let them know how much they had meant to me as well. But a sharp knock rattled on the door, and I glanced up at the clock.
Time to go.
“Take care out there,” Lionel said, shaking each of our hands before holding the door. “And you know you’ll be welcome to visit once we get home and settled.”
“We will,” I promised him. I joined hands with both my mates and we headed for the exit, still buoyed on the celebration of new life.
We reached the lobby and nurse Lana was nowhere to be seen. Perhaps she’d already taken off for the evening. Almost on cue, the door clicked open and in walked her replacement, nurse Bay.
I knew her mostly in name only—we’d always worked at different times—but she waved to me and the guys just the same.
"Ah, are you here for your pregnancy checkup?" Bay said brightly, already launching into work mode. She stepped behind the desk before I had a chance to react, flipping through paperwork with her head down.
"Um, excuse me?" I hadn't heard her right. She had to be looking for someone else. I peered around the lobby—no one else to be seen.
Bay looked up, peering at me over her spectacles with a confused look. That makes two of us, Bay. “I don’t have you in the books, but…” A look of realization passed over her face. “Wait, don’t tell me you don’t know.”
There was that deep, hollow ache once more. She was messing with me. She had to be messing with me.
“What’s going on?” Hugo asked. Good thing, too, cause I was too flustered to speak.
Bay flushed pink. She took off her glasses
and rubbed them absently, still looking me up and down. “I could be wrong, but…”
“But what?” Hugo interrupted. His tension rose by the second, and Tristan wasn’t faring much better. “Spit it out.”
The nurse sighed. “I’ve worked with a lot of patients over the years, and a lot of pregnant omegas. Your mate James there is giving off all the signs that he’s carrying.”
The words took a moment to fully sink into my brain. No. Way. A new sensation washed over me, no longer hollow and empty but a swirling wave of nerves. Carrying. Me? Now?
“Are you positive?” I asked in a shaking voice. “I haven’t really felt any different, and it’s been a while since we, you know…” I waved my hand in a vague gesture. “Did it.”
“Well, there’s one way to find out,” Bay offered. “Let’s get you a test, shall we?”
My head spun, the floor suddenly seeming to rock like the motion of the sea. I grabbed on to Hugo and Tristan for support. This was all happening so fast. It was everything I’d ever wanted, and in fact had been planning to discuss it with them, but now? Already?
“Okay,” I forced out. “Sure. Let’s do the test.”
Tristan knocked on the bathroom door for the third time in five minutes. “Come on, babe. You okay in there?”
I gave him the same answer I had the last two times. “It, um, takes time to work! I’m fine!”
That was the understatement of the century. Truth was, I was scared. My hand shook, still holding the unused pregnancy test while I hovered over the toilet. My nervous bladder chose the perfect time to go on strike. It wasn’t gonna let me pee even if I wanted to.
I paced back and forth across the tile floor, trying to get my breathing under control. Yeah, I should have let them come into the bathroom with me. Instead, I’d rushed in and locked the door. I was scared—terrified, in fact—and the weirdest part was that I couldn’t even define why.
Was I scared that I would be pregnant after all? That was part of it, to be sure, but it went deeper than that. I think more than anything I was afraid of disappointment. Not only of disappointing myself, but of disappointing my men.
Hell, I didn’t even know where they stood on the “kid” situation. We’d only discussed it briefly, never in any certain terms, and this was not exactly how I wanted to bring it up.
But here I was, trapped in the bathroom with a pregnancy test while my two guys waited impatiently on the other side of the door. Not to mention the nurse.
I let out a long, labored breath and stared at the short little stick. How could something so small control so much of my future?
Just do it, I told myself. Do it and get it over with.
I held the stick over the toilet, hand still shaking. A few drops dribbled out and missed the stick completely. I cursed under my breath, but I guess my mates still heard it.
“James.” This time it was Hugo knocking on the door. “You sure you’re all right? You need anything? We can come in if you unlock the door.”
I glanced at the test, glanced at the door, and gave in. I pulled up my pants halfway, popped open the lock, and let them in.
“You’ve been in here for ages,” Tristan said as soon as the door closed. “We thought you’d fell in or something.”
“Did it work?” Hugo asked. “The test? Or we still waiting for results?”
“Oh, um…” I gulped. “I haven’t actually…done it yet.” I couldn’t meet their gaze. Not now. I dropped the test on the counter and covered my face with my hands.
All the emotion and fear flooded out of me. I sunk down onto the toilet and leaned over, tears welling up with no way to stop them. Who was I to think I could be a dad? Who was I to get my hopes up?
And especially, who was I to let my men down—no matter what the results were?
“Hey,” Tristan said softly, stroking my back. “It’s okay. I know you’re nervous.”
I sniffed and looked up at him through blurry eyes. “It’s not just that.” The awful, unending ache didn’t disappear—wouldn’t, till I said my piece.
“What, then?” Hugo knelt in front of me. He gently took my hands and pulled them away from my face, kissing each of them in turn. With Tristan rubbing my back and Hugo holding my hands while I cried on the toilet, we made a funny sight. But I couldn’t have been more grateful to have these men with me.
“We…” I hiccuped through a sob. “We never even talked about if you want kids. I don’t want to let you down one way or another, if we don’t get the result we want…”
“I’m gonna have to stop you right there,” Tristan interrupted. “Do you really think we’d be hurt or upset at you for something you can’t control?”
I sniffed. When he put it like that, it did seem kind of silly.
“You can’t control what comes out on that test any more than I can change my body.” He gave me a sad, but understanding smile. “I may not be able to conceive, but you can, James. If not this time, then some other time.”
“You’re not jealous?”
Tristan barked out a laugh. “No? I mean, a little bit? But you’re my mate, babe. Just as much as Hugo is. I can’t think of a better man to carry our child, if it comes down to that.”
“I agree.” Hugo joined in, squeezing both my hands in turn. “We’re in this together, remember?”
I nodded silently and sniffed away the tears.
“No matter what that thing says, pregnant or not, we’re still gonna be here. Do I particularly want a kid now? There’s never gonna be that perfect time. Now or later, or even never—it doesn’t matter. We’ll be here through all of it. That’s what mates are for. Forever.”
With that I leaned in, letting him wrap his arms around me. Tristan was there too, forming some kind of weird three-way toilet hug. I didn’t care, though. My wolf drew in the calming energy from my mates and soothed the worry and pain. I took a breath again. I cleared my eyes.
“Okay,” I said at last. I took a deep, cleansing breath and pulled away from my mates enough to stand up. “Let’s do this.”
Admittedly, having my two mates by my side made the process go much easier. After some coaxing, I managed to pee on the pregnancy test. I set it on the counter, hugged my men, and did my best to stop from shaking.
The seconds ticked by like hours. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the indicator. How long had it been again?
“Look.” Tristan was the first to point it out. “Something’s coming up.”
I held my breath and leaned over the counter, watching as the indicator window changed. My brain was so scattered I couldn’t even remember what the lines meant.
One strong pink line cut through the indicator window, but as we watched something else began to appear. I thought I was seeing things at first, but it grew darker while the seconds ticked by.
Two pink lines. Two lines. What did that mean again?
“Looks like you’re pregnant,” Hugo cheered, clapping me on the back. “No—scratch that—we’re pregnant!”
He jumped up and pumped his fist in the air. I sat staring at the test, the shock of the news still working its way through my system.
“I can’t believe it,” I breathed. A million thoughts wormed their way through my mind at once. I was pregnant. Heck, had been pregnant, probably since our first time. I guess I’d been so busy and so preoccupied with everything else that I hadn’t taken the time to listen to my body.
But here it was in black and white—or pink and white, rather. I waved the stick in the air, letting out a whoop of my own.
Tristan tackled me into a hug and Hugo joined in. My heart raced this time not from fear, but from excitement. My wolf did a little happy dance as well, bouncing like a new puppy.
Nurse Bay knocked on the door and I barely heard her through the celebration. “Let me guess…positive?”
I threw open the door and waved the test in her face. “You were right!”
She gave us a knowing look. “Told you.”
I cau
ght my breath and brought her into a hug as well. “It had been on my mind, to be honest, but I hadn’t really taken it seriously until you said something.”
“And a good thing, too,” Bay agreed. She hurried back to the desk and handed me a stack of paperwork. “Congratulations, you three.”
“Thanks,” I said. My face hurt from smiling so wide, and yet I couldn’t stop. Today was perfect. I had my men next to me, we got to see Kit’s son, and now we had one on the way as well.
Take that combined with the bright future of Nox Bay?
I couldn’t wait.
29
Epilogue
Hugo
One Year Later
“When are the kids supposed to arrive?” I wiped my brow as I finished cleaning up yet another room. James and Tristan conveniently decided to tell me they’d planned a playdate with the other kids today and surprise!—we were hosting.
“Soon, I think.” James peeked his head out of the kitchen, cradling a baby girl in his arms. She wore a pale yellow onesie that matched her blond hair. Clear, perceptive eyes blinked back at me, and I remembered just how blessed I was.
In an unexpected twist, James found out he was pregnant when we returned to Nox Bay. Though it was sudden for all of us, I couldn’t have been more excited. Seemed like the past months had flown by so fast. We had a new little life to look after now—our darling baby Luna. She was growing every day, and even with the three of us to look after her, we still had our hands full.
This morning, Luna decided she didn’t feel like sitting still in James’ arms. She wriggled and flailed her arms and legs, trying to worm out of his grasp. James laughed and handed her over to Tristan. As soon as she snuggled into his arms, she settled down. Go figure.
“She must like you better than me,” James teased. “I’ve gotta run to the bathroom before the guests get here. Tris, you can handle bringing the supplies into the living room?”
He nodded and waved James away.
