by Ali Parker
“You think?” I started thinking about my money and how much I’d saved. I might have enough for the down payment and closing costs, considering they’d want a reasonable amount for it. “I wonder how much that place is worth?”
“I’ll nose around and see what I can find out if you want. It could already be sold or in the process for all we know. Your Daddy gave up years ago on obtaining it. He didn’t think that man would ever die. He was ninety-eight and worked his land until he turned ninety. Mean old fart, that one.”
“I’ve always loved that windmill.”
“So buy the windmill.” She handed me another sudsy plate and laughed. “It would be so much less work.”
“I want to work. I like it. And I know exactly what I want to do with the place.” I ran the plate under the stream of the faucet and placed it in the drying rack. “I’ve been dreaming of it for years.”
“A girl your age should be thinking about marriage, not buying houses. What if you get married? Ted probably wouldn’t leave his family’s farm.”
“Who says I’m going to marry him? Besides, if I can’t even work for him for more than a week, I’m not too sure how a marriage would work out. Could you imagine? I’d be divorced in a week.”
“Nonsense. That boy might be a stubborn ass, but he loves you.” She wiped her hands on her apron and turned to face me. “Love isn’t always perfect, and Lord knows most men aren’t.”
“I’m not worrying about a man. If it happens, it happens. Meanwhile, I’ll be securing my future on my own land, with my own animals, and my own life. I can’t sit around waiting on some man to come and sweep me off my feet and carry me away to his place. And you’re right, Ted probably won’t ever leave his home. Especially now that Mr. Dawson put him in charge.”
“Well, that’s probably the smartest move he’s made in years. That one will do right by his legacy.” Granny looked at me like he was the one I shouldn’t let get away.
“I’m sure whoever he marries will be very happy, most of the time.” I hated the thought of anyone else with my Ted, but at least the thought of him being impossible toward someone else was comical. Let them put up with his shit, and they’d be begging me to take him off their hands.
Granny went to the cabinet and pulled out her old canning jars and lids. “You can help me with this jelly, and I’ll let you take him a jar.”
“No thanks, I’m never going over there again. I will help you though. I need to brush up on my jelly making, and I know you will want help peeling all the veggies for the soup starter. Besides, he can get his own damned jelly.” I stood at the counter and watched as Granny finished gathering her supplies without saying another word.
I couldn’t help being excited that the farm of my dreams might actually be on the market soon, and I’d have to figure out exactly how much I had in my savings. Maybe I’d call around town and see if anyone needed help. Maybe the little bakery could use a hand, and I’d proven to myself that I was an expert at washing dishes.
I’d find something for sure. I’d let Granny do some digging in the gossip circles and then maybe go down to the Chamber of Commerce in Perryville to see who I could contact about it if she couldn’t get the information for me. In the meantime, I’d keep a close eye on the place and see about cashing in the bonds that my grandfather had left me. With any luck, things would go my way.
I couldn’t help being bitter about Ted firing me. Things would be a lot better with a job and some income. I still got an allowance from my work on the family farm, but Daddy liked to have his say over it. I didn’t know why the men I loved most always had to hold me back. Well, Ted Dawson wouldn’t ever again if I could help it. I’d get my own place no matter what, be it the Stutt place or somewhere else.
Chapter 15
Ted
Fuel order—check.
It cost me extra to put a rush on the order, but it was worth it that Daddy might never know what happened under my watch. The last thing I needed was a lecture, and I’d sworn my brothers to secrecy. They didn’t want to hear any lectures either, and I was determined it was a lesson learned. I’d never get behind on the fuel again. Can’t run a ranch without it, that’s for sure, and luckily, we’d gotten our fuel back to the house and managed to get the baler fixed after we’d unloaded the truck and tagged the new head.
We had plenty of work to do in the fields, and I didn’t have time to waste in the office worrying about what was getting done with the new system. I’d have to break down and hire someone in for that while using the old manual ways that Daddy had raised us on. I just wouldn’t let him know I was taking my time.
I’d managed to sneak out of the house before anyone else was up to get a jump start on my day. I had our schedule laid out and hung up by the office door when I heard my father passing the window, breaking the first light of the morning sun as it shone through the glass.
“What the hell are you doing out here? Your mama’s been looking for you.” My old man pulled on his gloves and looked at the work order.
“I didn’t realize what time it was. Thought I’d be done by breakfast.” I shrugged as my father let out a chuckle.
“Breakfast is over. Your mama saved you some. I thought maybe you’d run out with that gal, but Mason said you already screwed that up.” My back stiffened and I kept my eyes averted as I put away my pen.
I walked out without a word and headed for the house. I wasn’t about to talk to him about my problems with Lauralee. Not when we had bigger things to deal with, like keeping on schedule and keeping gas in the machines.
Mama stood at the sink washing up from breakfast, and my brothers were nowhere in sight. “I thought you’d run away from home,” she called with her back still turned. I wasn’t sure how Mama could tell which one of us was which without even looking, but I thought it had to be in our footsteps. She wouldn’t ever fess up when asked and always credited it to mother’s intuition.
I bellied up to the center island. “Maybe if I were smart I’d take up singing.” We exchanged a smile as she placed my covered plate in front of me. I hoped she’d saved me some bacon and was pleased when I uncovered the four slices. Usually, if you weren’t at the table when breakfast was served, you missed out on the bacon. Mama must have slapped hands and put it aside early.
Mama turned back to her sink. “You can’t carry a tune in a bucket, so don’t quit your day job.”
“Yeah, well, what if I’m not so good at that either?” I bit into one of the crispy slices and savored my favorite flavor.
Mama turned and swung her dishtowel at me. “Nonsense. I ought to make you pick a switch for putting yourself down.” She crossed the short distance from the sink to the island and leaned against it. “What’s all that about? You having problems running things? Or is this about Lauralee?”
I growled with a mouthful as a pathetic protest of the subject. I didn’t want to tell Mama about the problems or discuss Lauralee. I only wanted to vent a little without being too specific. I swallowed finally and cleared my throat. “It’s more challenging, I guess, with things all falling to me. I was used to having David and Dad around to help.”
“Yeah, so what about Lauralee?”
“What do you mean?” I hated the defensive tone the moment it left my lips. My voice hadn’t cracked that bad since puberty. “I didn’t mention her, I’m just—never mind. It’s not that big of a deal.”
Mama frowned and clicked her tongue. “I think it’s a bigger deal than you want to admit. And I know you didn’t mention her, which is precisely why I think she’s what’s bothering you most. You’re good at avoiding things that make you uncomfortable. Always have been.”
It wasn’t the first time I’d been accused of that, and it most likely wouldn’t be the last. Lauralee had made that part of her argument for the prom and the reason I hadn’t gone, and Mama had argued something similar when telling me how much like my father I was. Though in some strange way, at the time, she’d meant it as a compliment.
I could see the conversation going south quick, so I shoveled my eggs up with my lukewarm toast and ate.
Mama shook her head. “You regret firing her already, don’t you? I figured you would.” She turned back to the sink and made busy finishing the rest of the plates and utensils that were in the basin. “Are you gonna tell me what happened or will I have to wait and pry it out of the poor girl next time her Granny sends her over with another pie?”
I wondered how much of my life had been shared through the gossip that accompanied pie delivery and cringed, realizing those tasty confections had come with such a price. “I can’t believe you’d taint my pie with idle gossip. Kind of brings a new meaning to ‘hearing through the grapevine.’”
Mama lifted her shoulders, and though she didn’t turn away from the sink, I could imagine the smirk as she said, “We don’t grow grapes, but we do bake pies.”
“Well, then I wouldn’t want to break tradition.”
Before I could clean my plate, Mama went to the fridge and pulled out a pan, placing it before me. “Let me show you how this works.” She uncovered the round pan and cut a thin slice of pecan pie and put it on my plate. It was my absolute favorite, and I’d never seen it on my breakfast plate before.
“Dessert for breakfast? You know I don’t like dessert.”
“Just try it and stop being so fussy.”
“Fine.” I dipped my fork into the flaky crust and pulled it to my mouth. The buttery goodness melted on my tongue. Maybe dessert didn’t deserve the bad wrap I’d given it.
“Lauralee is the only girl I’ve given that recipe to, you know.”
I stared at the next bite on my fork. “Did she make this?”
“Not that one, but you and I both know she could. She’s got talent, that one. Going to make someone a good wife one day.”
I looked up and expected her to be looking at me with one brow lifted, but she was back at her sink stacking the dishes she’d rinsed.
“You think that’s supposed to be me, right?”
“I think you think it’s supposed to be you.” This time she glanced over her shoulder in that smug matter-of-fact way I’d expected.
“I won’t lie. I’ve tossed the idea around in the past. But let’s face it, I can’t even get her to trust me. She accused me of staying out all night after I told her I hadn’t. Could you imagine things if we were married? We’d fight all the damn time.” I pulled another piece of the pie into my lips and licked the fork. That pie filling had to be the best thing on earth next to bacon, and I suddenly wished I’d kept a slice to eat with my pie.
“I reckon that’s why she asked me about you.” Mama shook her head. “When she said she owed you an apology, I figured you two would work it out. I guess I was wrong.” Mama came back to the bar as I swallowed my pie, choking it down like a hard lump in my throat.
“Wait, what? She asked you about where I was?” Mama nodded as the pie hit my gut like a stone. “I’m an idiot.” Mama nodded again, and I glared down at the rest of my slice. “What else did she say?”
Mama held her hands up. “Nothing. But I could tell that she was sorry for whatever happened. The next thing I know, you’d fired her. What else happened?” She nudged my plate closer and smiled.
I glanced at the pie and then back to Mama who smiled sweetly with a wrinkle of concern between her brows. I realized she’d served me the pie as a form of truth serum. “You are feeding me this pie to get answers, aren’t you?”
She shrugged and put her hand on her chest as if to deny it, but then shrugged as if she didn’t have the energy to convince me. “Yeah, it’s a little trick I learned.”
“Manipulation by pie? Great.”
“Why don’t you take another bite and finish telling Mama all about it.” She giggled, but I couldn’t help but frown.
I stared down at the pie and shrugged, taking another portion onto my fork. “I lied to her. I told her I did go out and do all the things she’d accused me of. I’m sure I looked like a fool.”
“And an asshole.” I looked up and at least found her looking apologetic. “Well, son, you lied to hurt her. Then you fired her.” She lifted her hand, pointing a finger at me. “That’s an asshole move.”
“Well, if you were anyone else I’d say the same thing about feeding me pie to get answers.” I took my last bite and pushed the plate toward her.
She took it over to the sink. “You know what you need to do.”
“I’ve got other things to worry about. Besides, she won’t want to see me.” I could imagine myself going over to apologize and being greeted by Mr. Langston’s shotgun barrel.
“Did you already pay her final wages?” She wiped her hands on her apron again and then leaned back against the counter next to the sink and crossed her arms.
“Shit. I forgot about that.” I stood up and drummed my fingers on the counter.
“Well, look at it this way, at least you have a reason to go over there or at least call her without looking like—”
“An asshole. Thanks, Mama.”
“Hey,” she reached over and tousled my hair, “I think it’s time you open yourself up a little and show that vulnerable side. It’s okay, you know. I shouldn’t have to coax it out of you with pie, and besides, Lauralee deserves better. She always has.”
I swear Mama could confuse a question mark. “So you think she deserves better than me? I thought you were going to convince me to try and get her back.”
“Oh, I am. Don’t get me wrong, son. I have no doubt in my mind that she wants you. I’m just saying that you need to be the man she deserves. Step out of that comfort zone a little, and you’ll see what I mean. She needs reassurance. Give it to her.”
“What if I can’t, or worse, don’t know how?”
“The first step is talking and like I told you, you have the perfect excuse. Call her up. You need to make the first move to repair it.” She took a deep breath and released it slowly, studying my eyes. “Do you know what she told me the other day?” She waited as I shook my head. “She told me she wasn’t going to give up on you.”
I looked deep into her eyes and searched for truth, but my Mama wouldn’t lie. If she said Lauralee said it, she did. “I’ll call her.”
“That’s my boy.” She pinched my cheek, and I walked around the counter and gave her a hug. She was so fragile in my arms as if she might break. The cancer had taken such a hard toll on her. I didn’t hug her the same as before when I’d give her a good squeeze and make her let out a little squeak and giggle. “I know you’ll make it right, Teddy. You’re a good boy.”
“Thanks, Mama. And thanks for the slice of pie. I would still be willing to make that a morning trend. A ritual if you will. I don’t even mind spilling my guts.” I gave her a wink and got the giggle I missed from the gentle hug.
“You make sure you don’t tell your brothers I gave you pie or told you about its secret powers. How do you think I keep up with things around here?”
“I don’t know. It seems I might have a little leverage in the Secret Pie Society. I may have to use that to my benefit, especially if you and Lauralee ever try to gang up on me.”
Mama laughed. “You going to start baking pies?”
She had me there. I guess I couldn’t flex my muscles if there was no pie in the equation. “Fine, you got me. I’ll keep my mouth shut.”
“Very wise, son. Very wise.”
I left Mama in her kitchen and hurried out to the office to figure out what I owed Lauralee. I’d wait a bit, do my morning chores, and then head over to pay her. I couldn’t help thinking about what she’d said to Mama. Lauralee wasn’t going to give up on me. Of course, that was before I was rude and fired her. It was probably the worst thing I’d done, especially since I’d lied to her.
At the time, I thought I had told her what she wanted to hear and I hadn’t even thought about how much it might hurt her. I hadn’t thought she cared enough to be hurt. That was the criteria, I supposed. One had
to care first to be hurt. My own personal heartbreak was a sure sign that I cared, whether I liked it or not, and I only hoped that Lauralee still did too.
I remembered the guy from the bar. He worked for her dad, which meant if the guy wanted to, he could see her every day. Thinking of him over there so close to her, made me boil inside. I wanted to trust that there wasn’t anything between them. I reckoned I could trust Lauralee enough, but I couldn’t help the nagging feeling in my gut that I couldn’t trust him. I’d never be able to trust another man with her.
Mama was right. It was time to step out of my comfort zone, and while I finished my chores, I rehearsed my apology. I got some strange stares from the cattle, but I wanted to be prepared.
Chapter 16
Lauralee
Since spending the entire day before making jelly and soup starter, Granny had inspired me to make use of the leftover tomatoes and add them to the abundance of peppers to make salsa. I’d done one with heavy onion and cilantro, and one without either for Bailey. I’d gotten the jars filled, and they were soaking in their bath. After our long day canning, I’d promised Granny if she turned me loose, I’d stack her jars in the pantry. She kept a pretty tight system, and since she was particular, everything had to go in a specific space. I rotated the soup starters to place the new ones in the back of the shelf when Tyler came in the kitchen, looking around as if he were lost.
“Can I help you?” I called out from the pantry, and even though it was right in front of him, he somehow missed it.
His dark brown eyes widened, and his pearly white smile lit his whole face. He was a tall drink of water, as Granny would say, with the perfect show of muscles bulging beneath his shirt that were no doubt earned from hard work and sweat, exactly how I like them. I stepped down off the stool to greet him.
“Hey, I didn’t see you in there. I’m looking for your grandmother. Your dad said something about a clogged drain.” He clapped his hands together, rubbing them like he couldn’t wait to get to work.
