His eyes were trained on Muriella, who I still clung to so the fear didn’t overtake me. It had been so close. Those people—no, I wouldn’t think about what they could have done to her.
“I’m fine,” she said with a quiet strength. Daniel assessed the damage for himself. I felt the turmoil that burned just below his surface. His struggle to contain it had me reaching for him.
He didn’t resist, and the three of us came together in a tight hug. Our perfect circle.
I laid my head on Daniel’s shoulder and closed my eyes, breathing in the scent I’d missed so very much. He pulled us closer, his fear of what could have been in his touch.
“I’m fine,” M reassured him again. “A little warning that we had company coming would have been nice, though.” There wasn’t a trace of the fear that gripped Daniel and me in her voice.
Not a trace of it was on her face either.
On a long exhale, Daniel loosened his hold, but I held fast. I tilted my head up, my heart picking up pace as I studied the stress lines in his features. His cut jaw. Severe dark eyes.
I placed a hand on his chest. He flinched, but I pretended not to notice.
“This is why,” I deduced, a hint of relief tugging my mouth upward.
His brow creased and he peeled my hand off of him.
I remained rooted despite the rejection. Muriella banded her arms around my waist from behind. “Vivian…”
She was the only thing keeping me on my feet. I pleaded with Daniel with my eyes. His had turned that chilly black I’d grown to hate.
M pointed toward him, and her tone of voice changed. “It is, isn’t it? Not only did you bring these people into our safe place, you kept us in the dark.”
Something in her had snapped. There was pure fury radiating from her.
She stared at Daniel. “I don’t know who you are anymore.”
With that, she marched to the front door. Stone gave us a what the hell? look before chasing after her.
Quiet settled over the apartment. The place echoed with a loneliness I knew Daniel felt. Muriella’s anger lingered, driving my determination to settle this before there was no coming back from the damage he’d done.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
Daniel wouldn’t look at me, simply turned toward the hallway as if I wasn’t there. I caught his hand, but he didn’t stop, nor did he let go, loosening his bow tie as he went down the hall with me in tow. Once we got to our bedroom, he paused, almost as if he didn’t know what to do with me.
I took advantage, stepping in front of him. He stared over my head to whatever was behind me, still refusing to look at me.
“I’m sorry,” I repeated, and when his eyes met mine, I saw he was livid.
“Sorry? A hell of a lot of good that would have done us if Vinny had done something to you. And believe me, he’s more than capable.” He wasn’t shouting at me. He was pissed at himself.
“If I’d thought for a split second I’d be putting you or Muriella in danger, I never would have gone to see Donato. It was stupid, but I was desperate. The man I met that day didn’t set well with me, but I ignored my instincts.”
“You should have trusted them, Vivian. When warning bells go off, you run. You put yourself in danger,” he said tightly, jaw working.
I blinked. I didn’t really care about that. He could see it on my face, and that set him off on a tirade. “I told you to let me take care of you, but no. The easy way isn’t good enough for Princess. You put yourself at risk for nothing!” he shouted, and I let him because I thought he needed to get out his frustration.
“What the hell difference does it make to you what happens to me? ‘It’s over.’ Does that sound familiar?” I kept my voice even, but my temper had sparked.
His eyes bulged and his grip on my hands tightened. “Vivian, you can make a walk through Central Park difficult when you want to.”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Now I was getting loud.
“That I know what I’m doing. That I know what’s best for you. And you just can’t trust me on that.”
“Well, that’s just fucking swell that you know what you’re doing, because nobody else does. So why don’t you just fill me in? That way I don’t make anything else difficult.” It looked like he was trying not to laugh, which only infuriated me. This was not funny. He’d upended our lives, for God’s sake.
“Did you just say swell?” His lips twitched, and I pressed mine together in a thin line. How dare he use his mouth against me now? He knew how much I loved it when I got even the slightest smile.
“If you were listening to me, then you’d know,” I huffed. It was hard not to smile when that damn corner of his mouth did a definitive upward turn. “What’s so funny?”
“Goddamn it. You always do that. Every time I’m irritated, you make me fucking laugh.” And then he went and gave me a full-blown smile.
My heart nearly exploded. I let go of his hands and threw my arms around his neck. Being pressed against him made me feel whole again, and when he didn’t push me away but embraced me back, I was inspired all over again not to give up on this. I couldn’t. This was exactly where we belonged.
“Go ahead and admit you miss me,” I whispered into his ear. Daniel looked down at me with an arched brow, the smile gone. “I’ll go first. I’ve missed you.”
He closed his eyes, pained. I couldn’t stand it. I touched his cheek, and he leaned into it. He was savoring it like it was going to be the last time.
When he opened his eyes, he was gone again, and for a fleeting moment, I wasn’t so certain I could get him back.
“I need to make a phone call.” His voice was hoarse as he disentangled himself from me.
“Unzip me first?”
I presented my back to him.
He sucked in a breath. Though I couldn’t see him, I felt him almost reach for me and then drop his hands. “I can’t.”
Before I could turn around, I heard the sound of his dress shoes on the hardwood floor as he walked away. And then there was silence. It made me want to scream, until it occurred to me Daniel had not ordered me or my things out. There was hope.
Muriella had mixed my things in with Daniel’s in the closet, and my suitcase was nowhere to be found. I loved that woman more than life itself, and I sincerely hoped I was around when he discovered what she’d done. He was used to our antics by now, but he wasn’t immune to them.
I wiggled out of my dress and put on my favorite jeans, one of Daniel’s white oxford shirts, and my ballet slippers. This was where I belonged. Where I could breathe.
I drifted to the bathroom and hopped on the counter, my legs dangling. He hadn’t said he wanted me home, but he hadn’t said he didn’t either. I could work with this. “You’re frowning.”
I hadn’t heard Daniel enter the bathroom, but when I looked at him, he took my breath away. His bow tie still hung untied around his neck, and he’d loosened the top few buttons of his shirt. There wasn’t an ounce of malice in his voice, but there was a definite sadness that made my heart hurt.
Before I could say anything, his phone rang, and he answered it right away. I heard a female cackle coming from the other end of the line, but it wasn’t clear enough for me to understand.
“That’s fine.” Those were the only words he spoke before he ended the call. “Giselle is home. You have to go.”
I didn’t move, lifting my chin in defiance, though it felt like he’d shot me in the chest.
“Did you ever make a promise to me you wouldn’t keep?”
“You know I haven’t.”
“And have I made any promises to you I haven’t kept?”
He sighed. “No.”
“I will not stop until I have my family back.” There was a flicker of something on his face. “If she is here, then she is not home. Do you want to tell her that, or do you want me to?”
“Vivian, you need to accept I’ve moved on,” he said, voice flat.
Liar.
/> His cell phone rang again. This time, he didn’t answer it. I slid off the counter to my feet and got right up in his face. “Don’t you get it, Daniel? When you find your everything, that’s impossible. You can fuck every woman on this planet one by one, but it will never be this.”
I grabbed his face and slammed my lips against his. He resisted, but I was hungry. It had been too long since I’d tasted him. This wasn’t a reunion kiss; it was a reminder he was mine. We’d given up any say in that eight years ago by the Christmas tree in New Zealand. My tongue coaxed his lips apart, slipping inside—caressing, claiming, possessing. Finally his control shattered, and he kissed me back, completely taking over. He pinned me against the wall, and I wrapped my legs around his waist. Our hands explored, our tongues dueled. I’d stuck dynamite in the vault and blown it to smithereens.
My fingers flew to the buttons on his shirt, and when I couldn’t get them undone because of my impatience, I ripped it wide open. I was desperate to feel his skin against mine again. I groaned at how hot and hard he was under my fingers.
He worked on the buttons of the shirt I was wearing but fumbled, and I smiled against his mouth; I had the same effect on him that he had on me. Realizing I was winning, he tore his mouth off of mine, his expression livid.
“This will not happen again,” he grated, reaching behind himself to unhook my legs.
Once my feet were on the floor, I was grateful for the support of the wall behind me. I was used to going from playful to serious and back again with him, but never from scorching hot to ice cold. For a moment, I was at a loss. He looked devastated and pissed off at the same time.
“Yes, it will,” I said when I finally found my voice.
His eyes flashed with anger as he plowed a hand through his hair. “Goddamn it, Vivian. Why can’t you just let it go?”
“If you wanted a woman who just lets things go, you wouldn’t have been with me for so long.” He glared because I was right. “I don’t know why you’re doing this. I do know you love me. If you would tell me what’s going on, we could get through it together and save both of us the heartache.”
“There is no getting through it,” he snarled.
Silly man. Did he think he would scare me with that? I stepped toward him and touched his cheek. His phone rang again.
“She’s not the answer either.” I stroked his face and stopped trying to hide my pain. “If you were attempting to hurt me, you succeeded.”
He closed his eyes, as if he couldn’t stand to look at me. “I don’t want to hurt you, V. I’m trying my damnedest not to.” The words were whisper soft and so full of anguish, my heart broke for him.
I pushed up onto my toes, brushed my lips against his, his forehead fell against mine. “Then stop lying to both of us.”
His lip curled into a snarl. “Are you ready to keep your word to stand by me no matter the circumstance?”
“Absolutely,” I said without hesitation, though his question gave me pause.
“I won’t let you,” he growled.
“You can’t stop me,” I countered. I would keep any and every promise I’d ever made to him.
“You’d better get used to gray and concrete. And maybe they’ll show mercy and give you an extra blanket,” he said bitterly. I blinked at him, at a loss. “Prison. I’m going to prison.”
Pieces began to click into place, though not enough to form the whole picture. “That’s why you were so angry about me finding the autopsy report.”
“I’ve kept you away from parts of my world for reasons you said you understood.”
“I do understand,” I shot back. I grasped his face in my palms. “Why would you think I’d let prison get in the way of us? Did you think I’d leave you?”
“No. Quite the opposite, actually. You’d do anything to keep me out of it.” Somehow I didn’t think he meant that as a compliment.
“Damn right, I would,” I affirmed, gripping his face.
“In this case, if you did, then someone else would get hurt. I can’t allow that.” He turned his head, and I dropped my hands.
I pressed my lips together and studied him. “I don’t care about anyone else,” I finally said.
Daniel’s eyes blazed. “What if it was someone who meant as much to you as Muriella?”
My lips parted before I snapped them shut. The man knew how to make a point.
“Do as I’ve asked. Let this go. Give me the peace I need knowing you’re as far away from this as possible,” he begged. He reached out to touch me, but when he realized it, he stopped.
I took in a deep breath and tried to center my whirring thoughts. They scattered and fluttered just out of my reach, so I just went with my instincts, like he’d told me to.
“I’m with you. All the way.” I softened my tone, and he took another step back.
Daniel held his hands out in the stop position. I stepped in between them.
“Here—” he pointed to his head, “and here—” he pointed to his heart, “are going to have to be enough.”
Another piece of me broke at the desperation and resolve in his words. “No.” I wrapped my arms around his waist. “We get here too.”
He stiffened when I pressed my body against his. This was home. He knew it.
“I refuse for you to live that kind of life!” he roared. I drew back, though I fisted his shirt in the small of his back. I couldn’t let go. “What if I’m moved upstate? Or out of state? Do you think I’d make you stay with a man you’ll hardly get to see? I’m looking at a minimum of twenty years. You deserve better than that.”
I clutched the soft cotton of his dress shirt. “I’ll move closer. And as long as I get to see you, that’s all that counts.” He gently shoved at my shoulders in an attempt to distance himself. I held fast, though my voice rose. “And how do you know you’ll be in for at least twenty years? You haven’t even been arrested.”
He arched a brow as if to say, haven’t I? My stomach plummeted.
“Oh my God. When?” Panic pushed to the surface, overpowering everything else.
“Last night.” His indifference had me shaking him.
“Are you okay?” My eyes roved his face and every visible part of him I could see, searching for any sign he’d been hurt.
“I had my own cell. If that’s where I end up, it won’t be so bad.” He shrugged, and I pushed at his chest.
“This isn’t a joke. How could you be arrested, spend the night in jail, and I not know about it? How are you out now? When do you have to go back?”
“This is exactly why I let you go. I can’t stand to see you dragged into this mess. There’s nothing to be done, and it’s not worth your worry.” His hands went back into his pockets, but he held my gaze.
“You are worth it!” I shouted, stabbing my index finger into his chest.
“No. I won’t have you coming to see me in a prison. That’s no place for you. And it’s not like you can just waltz in anytime you please. You’d spend more time traveling than we’d actually get to visit.” Excuses. All of them were pitiful excuses.
“So what? Do you think if we aren’t together that’s going to stop me from worrying, or missing you?” He offered me a bland look in response. “I’ll visit you any fucking way.”
“I’ll refuse to see you.” Steel was in his gaze.
“Try and keep me away,” I challenged, squaring my shoulders.
“Goddammit.” He pounded his fist low on the wall behind us. “Let me do right by you. Let me fucking protect you. Please.”
“Enough!” I screamed, even as the please permeated my frustration. Of course he’d use that weapon now. “No more excuses.”
“Reasons. They’re reasons, not excuses.”
“I don’t want to hear them.” I slid my hands to his face. “They don’t matter.” I softened my tone and pressed up on my toes. I brushed my lips against his. “Start from the beginning. Make me understand.”
He squeezed his eyes shut and let out a long breath. My
mouth hovered near his. I needed him to make the next move. We were close. All he had to do was take us back. I didn’t care what he’d done—in the past or over the last few weeks. I’d forgiven him already.
“I know people who have been through this. I’ve seen what it does to a wife when a man goes to prison.”
“That’s them and this is us,” I said stubbornly. “I’m not saying it will be easy—”
“You have no idea what we’d be up against. Let’s forget about the fact that I could be transferred here, there, and everywhere. The second one of those fuckers says something inappropriate to you…I’ll be in for a legitimate murder.”
“Who the hell is going to say something to me?” I asked incredulously.
“Donato’s wife was felt up by a guard. And let’s not even get into the shit other inmates said to her, and to him about her.”
“Do you honestly think I’m afraid of what someone might say to me?” I threw both hands up. “I won’t like it, but—”
“What if it drives me to beat the everliving shit out of someone? Any chance for parole will fly out the window the second someone says a word to you,” he said through gritted teeth.
“If Donato handled it, you can.”
He snorted. “Oh, he handled it all right. That guard mysteriously disappeared.”
I swallowed hard at that, but I wasn’t going to let anything he was saying deter me. “I’m offended you think so little of me. That I can’t handle this.”
“It’s not you that can’t, Vivian. It’s me. I’m the one that can’t deal with it.”
He pinched his lips together and scrubbed his hand over his face. It pained me to see him this way.
“I can’t do this to you. I never wanted you to be tangled up in my past. And if I keep you, I’m no different than my father. A selfish bastard who couldn’t see past anyone but himself.”
“But I know that’s not who you are. I love you, Daniel. That’s all we need to get through anything.”
His eyelids flew open. “Before you, I’d have said that way of thinking was naive.”
“And now?” I held my breath, waiting for his answer.
“You’re my reason for…everything.”
Broken and Beautiful Page 94
