by Noelle Adams
Yes, maybe he could see what she’d prefer to hide, but he didn’t really care about it—about her—so it was fine. But it didn’t feel fine today.
She shivered when she met his gaze, and suddenly she felt completely naked. What the hell right did he have to watch her like that? To see beyond the surface that way? To recognize that she’d been close to tears all day despite her convincing act of joy at the occasion?
She scowled at him before she could stop herself.
Then she took a couple more gulps of champagne.
Turning away from Robert intentionally, she silenced a groan when her gaze ended up on her sister and Dave. He was as handsome today as she’d ever seen him—thick brown hair, deep brown eyes, the strong, solid build of a football player. He smiled at her and waved when he noticed her watching him, and she grinned back, waving like an idiot to make sure he didn’t question her mood.
Dave and Stacey had started dating only two months ago, and they’d gotten engaged only a few weeks after that. Ever since Amanda had learned they were together, she’d been working on putting her own feelings behind her, and she’d done a pretty good job if she did say so herself.
She wasn’t going to be the kind of person to yearn for her sister’s husband. She wasn’t like that. She’d never been like that. But that didn’t mean today wasn’t still hard—it signaled the final death of daydreams she’d had for fifteen years.
“Amanda!”
She turned toward the sound of her mother’s voice, steeling herself for what was likely to be an annoying conversation. Her smile never wavered as she said, “Did you need something, Mom?”
Amanda’s mother was still an attractive woman with the same blond hair and blue eyes as her daughters. She’d always taken great pride in her appearance. Her designer shoes and diamond jewelry were perfectly chosen, her wine-colored gown sleek and immaculate. “Can’t you do something?”
Blinking, Amanda mentally culled through possible sources of complaint. “Do something about what?”
“The servers are slacking. Our glasses have been empty for more than five minutes now.”
“They’re doing a good job overall. You can’t expect two servers to be omnipresent.” Amanda was used to this attitude. Her mother didn’t have a bad heart, and she did love her husband and daughters, but she was spoiled and entitled and generally expected the world to cater to her every need.
It was a frustrating characteristic in a parent, and it had been making Amanda’s life miserable for the past month as she’d organized a somewhat extravagant wedding for her sister in very little time.
“Well, they need to do a little better than this. Can you talk to them please?”
“Yes. Of course I will. Why don’t you try to relax and get off your feet? I’m sure you must be exhausted after working so hard to pull this wedding off.” Amanda’s words were strategic rather than genuine. The only work her mother had put into this event was constant nagging about ridiculous details. Amanda had done all the work on top of her full-time job as a marketing executive for a Richmond-based retail company.
“Yes. Thank you, dear. I think I will. I’ve been worn down to the bone this month. It’s been so hard.” Her mother’s eyelashes had gotten extra help from extensions today. She batted her thick, darkened lashes with exaggerated aggrievement.
“I know it has. Go on and sit down. I’ll talk to the servers and make sure you get some more champagne.”
Amanda had no intention of berating the servers, who were by any reasonable expectations doing an excellent job. She did walk over and speak to one, thanking the woman for their help and chatting for long enough to convince her mother of a substantive lecture. Then she took a bottle of champagne over to her mother’s table and filled their glasses herself.
She’d learned a long time ago that if she wanted to avoid a public scene, the best option was to cater to her mother’s pettiness. She only ever challenged it in private.
And she definitely wasn’t going to let their mom ruin her sister’s wedding. Stacey was happy right now, and she would stay that way if Amanda had anything to do with it.
Since she had about a quarter of the champagne left in the bottle, she wandered over to the next table to see if anyone else needed a top off. She grinned at Taylor, who was scowling down at her phone with a malevolent expression that was typical of her.
“It’s a wedding,” Amanda said, filling her friend’s half-empty glass. “Can’t you smile or chat or dance or something?”
Taylor’s gorgeous dark eyes widened in horror. “Dance? You think there’s any world in existence where I’d be likely to dance?”
Amanda laughed and glanced over at the man next to Taylor. Robert Castleman. He’d moved from the wall to the table and was watching her with a silently amused tilt to his lips. He’d been drinking scotch, but there was a half-empty champagne flute in front of him, so she topped it off as she replied to Taylor. “Not really. But a smile wouldn’t kill you, would it?”
“I hate weddings.”
“Yes. You hate weddings. And dressing up. And being friendly. And social events of any kind. I suppose we should be grateful you even managed to drag yourself here today.”
“You should definitely be grateful. I could be home with a book and a cup of tea and my dog right now, so I hope you appreciate the sacrifice.” Taylor was tall, slim, and gorgeous with sleek dark hair and perfect skin, but she never spent any time on her appearance. If she weren’t so oblivious to her beauty, it would be hard not to be jealous.
But Taylor sincerely cared nothing for how she looked. She was unrepentantly antisocial. She liked being by herself, and she hated getting stuck in a crowd. But her pose of resentment was mostly put on. Amanda could see a glint of humor in her eyes behind the scowl.
So she laughed again. “Your sacrifice is noted and appreciated.” She intended to move on after that, but instead her gaze landed once again on Robert. She wasn’t sure why she lingered, but she did. “I’m glad you could come, Robert.”
He shrugged. He had some of his niece’s antisocial characteristics, although not so pronounced. “Are you?”
She’d been about to turn away, but the unexpected question stilled her. She frowned. “Yes?”
“Was that an answer or a question?”
Her frown deepened. They’d always been on mostly friendly terms, so there was no reason for him to be obnoxious right now. “It was supposed to be an answer, but if you’re annoying, you’ll make me second-guess it.”
He gave a soft huff of what looked like dry amusement. “I didn’t intend to be annoying.”
She rolled her eyes. Why was he such a distraction this afternoon? He was the much younger brother of Taylor’s father, so he was only around ten years older than they were. She’d always thought of him as too mature for her interest, but he looked unexpectedly attractive today. Maybe it was the expensive, well-cut suit. The fine pair of shoulders beneath it. The dark eyes and hair with a sprinkling of silver.
He was a handsome man. And very intelligent. And his presence was bugging her today for some reason.
“I think you did intend to be annoying, but it doesn’t matter. It’s the least important item on my list of concerns today.” Amanda was known for being blunt. People expected it of her. So neither Robert nor Taylor raised an eyebrow at her tone.
Taylor snickered. “I guess that put you in your place, Uncle Robert. You’re there at the bottom of her list. Are you really stressed out, Amanda? You seem so cool and composed about everything.”
“It’s fine. Everything is going pretty smoothly. Just my mom being my mom.”
“Let me know if you need any help,” Taylor said. “I’d much rather sit here and avoid talking to people, but if you really need anything, I’ll summon the will to get up.”
“Thanks for the very generous offer, but I’m sure I’ll be fine.” With another flash of a smile, Amanda moved on, acutely aware of Robert’s eyes following her as she did.
Why was he watching her that way?
And why did she even care about it right now?
Attempting to put it out of her mind, she continued circulating around the room, stopping to chat with each table in turn and making sure that everyone felt acknowledged and was enjoying themselves.
That was what she did. Take care of other people and pretend she didn’t need to be taken care of herself.
ROBERT CASTLEMAN TRIED not to let his eyes follow Amanda around the room, but he failed. Entirely.
Something was wrong with her.
She was putting on a good show. She always did. In the four years he’d known Amanda, she’d always been ultracomposed no matter the circumstances. Angry or upset or dumbfounded or overcome with amusement, she never lost her controlled demeanor or perfect poise.
That and a sharp intelligence and a body worth drooling over were the characteristics he was most acutely aware of regarding her.
But today her composure was shaky. She was more than upset. Every once in a while, he caught a glimpse of something heartbroken. Like she was near tears but trying not to give in to them.
The idea troubled Robert unduly.
From the first moment he’d moved back to Richmond and encountered Amanda, she’d troubled him. He’d gone to a cookout in the park that his brother was throwing to celebrate his daughter, Taylor, earning her master’s degree in art history. He’d assumed it would be a pleasant but boring affair. He’d been camped out in a lawn chair with a beer and was idly admiring the shapely legs and ass of a blonde in the parking lot as she bent over to inspect a slightly deflated tire.
Only to discover that the woman he was lusting over was a good friend of his niece’s and thus definitely not on the list of appropriate objects of desire for him.
From that moment forward, Amanda had always bothered him—attracting too much of his attention and interest and worry.
Robert had spent most of his life minding his own business. He took care of his family—he’d left a lucrative finance job in London so he could live closer to his aging mother—but otherwise he focused on work and staying out of unnecessary interpersonal drama.
He’d never been married. He’d only had two real girlfriends in his life, and those were both when he was in college. He’d had plenty of enthusiastic partners in the bedroom, but he preferred to keep sex casual. He’d watched his parents struggle in their marriage. He’d seen his brother’s marriage implode. He’d witnessed friend after friend go through relational heartbreak, and he had no interest in putting himself in that position too.
He had a perfectly fulfilling, comfortable life. He had a good job and plenty of money and could find a woman to have sex with whenever he wanted.
He didn’t need to fall in love.
He didn’t even want to.
So the way Amanda always drew his interest troubled him. A lot.
It wasn’t like she was all that special. She was beautiful. No doubt about that with her small, curvy figure, bright hair, and deep eyes. Her mouth was a little too wide for classic beauty, but her smile transformed her face.
Transformed everything.
But still... He’d known beautiful women before, and they hadn’t affected him like this. Maybe it was just because so much seemed to be going on beneath the surface of her. She was a mystery. A puzzle. And he simply wanted to solve it.
That was probably it. He’d always been stimulated by a challenge.
He comforted himself with the thought as he sipped his scotch (not bad, but not the best quality) and watched as Amanda made a circuit around the room, performing social duties like a master.
“You’re staring,” Taylor muttered beside him.
He blinked, turning toward his niece in surprise. He’d thought Taylor was wrapped up in the word game she’d been playing on her phone. “What?”
“You’re staring. It’s becoming obvious.”
A hot wave of discomfort started to rise inside him before he took control of it. With a wry smile, he replied, “Something seems off about her. I was trying to figure out what it is.”
“Oh. Yeah.” Taylor made a face as she glanced over toward Amanda. “It’s a hard day for her.”
“Why?” He normally wouldn’t have inquired into someone’s private life, but in this case he felt like he needed to know.
Taylor opened her mouth but then closed it again. “She had to plan this whole ridiculous circus in a month. It’s enough to wipe anyone out.”
Robert knew that wasn’t the real answer. Something else was wrong with Amanda, and his niece knew what it was.
But she clearly wasn’t going to tell him.
He wanted to pursue the matter, but he was smart enough to know it would give away far too much of his own interest.
He cared about Taylor a lot. Not just because she was his niece but also because she was an interesting, intelligent, and generous human being beneath her amusing pose of being a grump. But he didn’t have heart-to-hearts with her. Or with anyone. He’d spent his life protecting the deepest parts of himself from exposure to the world, and he wasn’t going to surrender that safety now.
So he simply nodded as if he took her reply at face value.
And he continued to discreetly observe Amanda.
It wasn’t until he saw her talking to Dave—the ridiculously happy new groom—that he figured it out.
AMANDA HAD FINISHED her route around the room when Dave stopped her in the far corner and gave her an expected hug.
She hugged him back. Of course she did. He’d been part of her life as far back as she could remember.
“Thanks for everything you did for the wedding,” he said in his rumble of a voice. “I know how hard you worked to make it go off without a hitch.”
“It was no problem.” She pulled away and grinned up at him. There was a lump in her throat, but she was convinced she was hiding it well. “I’d do a lot more than that for the two of you.”
“I know you would. You’re the best. You always were. And now you’re my sister.”
“Yep. I am.” Her lips hurt. Her jaw hurt. Her throat hurt. Her eyeballs hurt. “And I wouldn’t want it any other way.”
“Me either.”
He hugged her again. He’d been a kind, sincere boy, and he’d become a warm, generous man. She should have known he’d be drawn to Stacey’s sweetness instead of her own sharp edges.
She was a little shaky when she pulled away, so she made a quick retreat. “Okay. Back to work. Someone’s got to make sure things keep running smoothly here.”
That was just an excuse. She didn’t go to check on anything as she walked away. Instead, she slipped out the french doors in the back of the room and onto the veranda.
It was a cool March evening in Virginia. Not too chilly, but the air was pleasantly crisp. Amanda walked to one of the sculpted railings and leaned over onto it, sucking in a few ragged breaths and squeezing her eyes shut.
She breathed and shook. Breathed and shook. Until she’d gotten her composure again.
It didn’t seem right that her sister’s most happy day was also the death of all her romantic daydreams.
But that was life. It would play you for a fool every time. Pull the rug right out from under you. And laugh when you tumbled to the ground in an awkward heap.
It was silly to expect anything else.
She wasn’t sure how long she stood there, bent over the railing, but eventually a presence behind her poked at her consciousness.
With a gasp, she straightened up and whirled around.
Robert Castleman. Standing silently several feet away. Two glasses of champagne in his hands.
“What?” she demanded, too emotionally stretched to feign politeness.
He arched his eyebrows.
She made a face at him. “You’re the one who followed me out here when I was clearly not looking for company. You shouldn’t look so arrogantly baffled if I’m not perfectly polite to you.�
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“I thought you might need another drink.” His voice was smooth. Cool. But with a pleasant guttural texture that softened it somehow.
She reached for the glass he offered and took a gulp. “Thanks,” she muttered.
He didn’t reply, and she wasn’t sure what to say. He must have seen her a minute before. She’d been having a silent, emotional collapse, and there wasn’t much chance that he hadn’t recognized it. At least he wouldn’t know what it was about.
“For what it’s worth,” Robert said, stepping over to stand beside her at the rail, “I think he made the wrong choice.” He wasn’t looking at her. His gaze was on the garden beyond them as he took a sip from his own glass.
She was in such a mental upheaval that it took a minute for Amanda to follow him. When she did, she gasped. “What?”
He arched his eyebrows again, finally turning his eyes back to her face.
“You have no idea what’s happening here.”
“I never said I did,” he replied.
“Well, you’re acting like you know, and it’s presumptuous and obnoxious. So don’t.”
Ridiculously, she felt a little better now. Her annoyance with him was diverting her from the heartache.
“Okay. I won’t.” His eyes glinted slightly in the soft landscape lighting.
“Wow, you’re an asshole.”
“If you say so. I won’t even mention that you’re the one going on the attack when all I did was offer you some champagne.”
“You did way more than that.”
His lips were thin and mobile and clever. She was drawn to them irrationally as he quirked them up in a quick half smile. “Okay.”
