“I hope you didn’t interrupt his dinner. You need to give that boy some peace,” my father finally said to a scowling Eli.
“He was with a woman,” he said to me. “A good-looking woman.”
My gut clenched followed by jealousy that another woman would be with Nick, and resentment at Nick for moving on. Granted, that’s what we agreed to do, but still. I hated that it was so easy for him.
“Eli,” my father’s tone was disapproving. “If you’re not careful, he’ll have grounds to have you arrested for stalking or harassment. Why can’t you just leave him alone?”
“He’s cheating on Mia and you don’t care.”
My dad’s brows rose as he looked at me. “I thought you and Nick just worked together.”
“We do,” I said with a pointed look at Eli. “Who Nick sees isn’t my business and definitely not yours.”
“She said she was his lawyer—”
“All the more reason to leave him alone,” my father said.
“She’s tough, Mia. The hospital might have a fight on their hands.”
Oh God. Had he done something that would hurt the case? “What did you do, Eli?”
“Me? I didn’t do anything. But she’s doing anything she can to protect him. She even threatened to say I was intimidating him on your behalf.”
I closed my eyes as I realized the ramifications of what he said. “Please tell me you didn’t do that.”
He made a dismissive gesture. “I didn’t do anything. It’s him.”
“It’s always him, that’s the problem, Eli,” my father sighed, and turned off the TV. “From where I sit, he stays as far from you as he can, and yet you go out of your way to ruin his reputation.”
“He does that on his own by being a shitty doctor—”
“Eli!” My father snapped in a way I hadn’t heard since I was a kid and Eli and I were in big, big trouble. Even Eli jerked to attention. “You need to stop your whining about Nick. If you don’t like that he’s done more than you, then do more. You don’t get a better life by tearing someone down. Blaming him doesn’t give you his medical degree. It doesn’t bring your mother back. It doesn’t turn your sister against him.”
“I don’t—”
“You do and I’m sick and tired of it. I put up with it because you’re my son, but I care about that boy and I’ve had enough of your griping.”
Eli’s jaw tensed. I wasn’t sure if he’d yell back or simply leave. “You always did like him better—”
“Oh, for Christ's sake, Eli. If it seems like that to you, it’s probably because he doesn’t whine and blame others. That shit gets old.”
I looked at my dad in surprise. He wasn’t one to swear.
“Mia is right, you’re lucky he hasn’t put a restraining order on you.”
“I don’t stalk him—”
“Tell me you didn’t threaten him in front of his lawyer,” I said wanting to get back to whatever he might have said.
“No.”
“Because she’s right, Eli. True or not, if Nick felt like he was being harassed by you because of me, it could be used against me and hospital.”
“So, he’s a shitty doctor, but you get in trouble?”
“He’s not a shitty doctor, Eli. He’s really not.”
His eyes narrowed. “Why do you defend him, Mia? Are you still in love with him?”
Yes.
“Because I have no doubt he’s fucking—”
“Eli,” my father yelled. He pushed the button on his chair to help him up. “I won’t listen to this anymore.”
I stood. “What do you need, Dad?”
“I need the two of you to stop sniping and growling at each other. I need some peace.” He made his way slowly back to his room.
I moved to put my hand under his arm. “Let me help—”
“No. You can both leave.”
I watched him until he disappeared into his room.
“This is your fault.”
I whipped my head around to Eli, ready to argue but then I looked at my bitter, broken brother and could only laugh derisively. “Of course, it is.”
His eyes narrowed. “Don’t patronize me.”
I grabbed my purse and got my keys out. “Eli, that’s all that’s left to give you. If Nick and I were gone, who’d you blame then? Dad’s right. You’re miserable because you’re not willing to be responsible for your own actions.”
“You are fucking him, aren’t you—”
“Do you know how insulting you are?” I moved closer to him. “Tit for tat, Eli. Are you like this because you’re not getting laid? Do you blame Nick for your impotence too?”
“You bi—”
I glared at him. “What happened to you, Eli? Really? Where did you go?” Not waiting for him to answer, I headed out the door and to my car.
The next day, I spent the morning wondering if Nick’s gorgeous lawyer spent the night with him. Then I worried she’d show up with some sort of accusation that Nick was being harassed by the hospital or me.
By noon, things were as usual, so my guard dropped to the usual level. I was finishing up my lunch when Candace entered the staff lounge on the third floor.
“Oh good, I found you. Do you have a minute?” she asked.
“Sure. Is something wrong?”
“Not wrong, no. I’m just worried about Dr. Foster.”
“Oh?” I motioned for her to follow me to my office. “Is he not performing well?”
“He does fine, but he’s not the same, you know. I talked with Peggy about it, but she said he just needed time.”
“Time for what?” I feigned innocence.
“To return to his old self.” She had a wistful smile. “Nick lost his swagger.”
“Maybe he’s grown out of it?” I said.
She rolled her eyes. “I don’t mean it like that. I mean his confidence. His loose and easy way with patients that made them feel at ease. Now I’m not sure he trusts our talents. He’s always telling us things twice and making us second check things. I’m just worried because he seems coiled so tight.”
“What are you afraid might happen?”
She narrowed her eyes at me. “Peggy was right. You’re wanting me to say something so you can get him fired. I thought you were his friend.”
I sighed. “I don’t want him to be fired, but if he’s a danger to patients—”
“I never said that.” She looked at me like the devil in me was just revealed. I felt certain she’d never see me as a friend again. Not that we were friends, but I wouldn’t be invited back to the Monday night drinking hour.
“Candace, regardless of my friendship with Nick, my job is to make sure this hospital stays out of legal entanglements.”
She stood. “Forget I said anything.”
“Candace, I want what’s best for him—”
“No, you don’t. No one does. Every day he comes here and does his job. When he’s on nights and doesn’t have a patient, he doesn’t rest like the other doctors. Instead he spends his time with the ones that have to stay over so they don’t feel so lonely. The hospital is scary quiet at night. He doesn’t want people to feel that. But outside people are blaming him for Ms. Mason’s death and no one except the ER staff is defending him. That statement the hospital put out is bullshit. It not only pissed off the community because it looked like we didn’t care, but it also made the ER look shoddy. Clearly, this place doesn’t care about anyone but itself. I thought you were different, but you’re just like the rest of them.”
She walked out, and I had to wonder about the statement. I’d drafted something for Dick to give, and I was sure it wouldn’t make the ER look bad. It was designed to calm the community. I went to my computer and searched for recent statements from the hospital. I found an article in the paper that had quotes from hospital admin. Why hadn’t they pulled me in before doing an interview?
While I wouldn’t have said it made the ER look bad, I could see how they’d think the hospital di
dn’t care much. At best, Dick made the hospital seem indifferent. Like Ms. Mason’s death was all in the course of a regular day in the ER. Dick didn’t do a very good job defending Nick or the ER staff, either. What was worse was that he made it appear the hospital had moved on, which was insensitive to the significant loss Ms. Mason’s death left the community.
I pulled up Nick’s file as I wondered if any of the things Peggy and Candace had said to me were filtering to HR. Sure enough, there were a couple of notes about the change in his demeanor.
I called down to the ER and asked if they’d send Nick up. I didn’t want to show my face down there and have them all look at me like a Benedict Arnold. Hopefully, the desk person wouldn’t tell everyone that I’d requested to see him. I shook my head at my naivety. This was Goldrush Lake, everyone told everything about everyone.
Twenty minutes later, he knocked on my door.
“You summoned?” His voice was dull and distant. While the last time I’d seen him, we’d left on friendly terms, I could see that now the wedge between us was thicker. Was it because of Eli? Was it because he’d moved on with his lawyer? Did he know people were reporting his change of behavior? Did he think it was from me?
“Come in,” I said coming around my desk. I didn’t want him to feel like he’d been sent to the principal’s office. I shut the door, and then took the seat next to the chair he sat in.
“I’ve had a couple of people express some concern about you.”
He closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, they were still flat. “I’m fine. I can do the job.”
“They’re not worried about that. They’re worried about you. As a person. As their friend. As I am.”
“Is that why you put things in my employee record that question my ability.”
So he did blame me. “I’ve never said anything you’ve told me when we were …"
“Fucking?” he offered.
I nodded and then studied him carefully. He had dark circles under his eyes. He didn’t just look tired, he looked washed out. Like the life had left him.
“Why won’t you consider the counseling, Nick?”
“Because I don’t need more shit on my record, for one. Do you and the rest of the powers that be want me to quit? If so, just fire me or ask me to resign. All these mind games are worse than what I endure in the ER that you think is traumatizing me.”
“No one wants you to quit.”
“Only because you worry I’ll sue for wrongful termination. And what the hell is with Eli?”
This time I needed a moment to gather myself. “I don’t know, Nick. He’s … I don’t know the man he’s become. Dad doesn’t either.” I wanted to reach out and touch him, but didn’t. “I hope this won’t affect your friendship with my father.”
“Why would it? He’s been nothing but decent to me.”
I sat back feeling relief that at least they had each other. Maybe my father could use his counseling skills on Nick, although, being somewhat paranoid, I doubted Nick was going to share his demons with my father.
“I know it feels like we’re at odds, but I don’t feel that, Nick. I’m not out to get you—”
“But if the hospital wants me to take the fall, you’ll have to help them. It’s your job.”
I hated that he was right. “We’re ahead of ourselves. There’s nothing that says you did anything wrong.”
“Then what? This lawsuit could take years, right? At least that’s what my lawyer says. But that doesn’t change the next time someone dies and it’s not clear cut how or why.”
“Nick.”
“It doesn’t change what’s between me and you.” He rose from the chair and turned away from me, like he said more than he intended.
“Do you want to change what’s between me and you?”
He scoffed. “It doesn’t matter what I want. I learned that four years ago.”
“Nick, we made that decision—”
“No. I offered to follow you and you wanted a clean slate.”
I sighed and looked down. “I was afraid if you gave up your dream, you’d resent me.”
He turned to me. “This is not my dream, Mia. I just wanted to live in this beautiful place and practice medicine. I didn’t sign up to have my boss or my town turn against me. If I fucked up, then yeah, I’d deserve it, but the more I play that day out in my head, the more I know it wasn’t me or anyone in the ER. But you don’t care about that—”
“I care about it.”
He pursed his lips in a look that suggested he didn’t believe me.
“I do, Nick. I’m doing what I can to find out what happened, and if possible, make this go away. I’m sure your lawyer is too. Were you able to get work done with your lawyer despite Eli?”
He ran his fingers through his hair. “It’s a lot of wait and see. I’m about ready to take her up on her offer to file harassment charges.”
“What Eli did wasn’t me or the hospital.” I felt my skin prickle. The last thing we needed in this town was for Nick to wage war against the hospital. On the other hand, I couldn’t blame him for wanting to defend himself.
“Eli buys into the town gossip; the fact that Dick either dismisses Ms. Mason thereby pissing everyone off in what looks like a cover-up, or makes rumors that I’m somehow to blame. There’s a group of people outside who remind everyone here from staff to patients that everyone, including the administrators, think I killed her.”
I wanted to hold him, and make it better for him. I held myself back, but only for a moment. The woman who cared for him overcame the professional. I stepped up to him and put my arms around him. “I hate that you have to go through this.”
His hands rested on my hips, but his body was tense and he stepped back. “Mia.”
I looked him in the eyes, for the first time seeing so much pain and emotion. “It’s just me and you right now, Nick. Let me be here for you, for whatever you need.”
He gave me a coy smile. “When you’re there for me, what I end up needing is more than emotional support.”
I wrapped my arms around him and pressed my body against his. “I asked you if you wanted to change what was between us. Maybe, like you said, it doesn’t matter because of the situation we’re in, but knowing about it does matter, because the truth is Nick, I’d like it to change.”
His breath hitched, as his piercing green eyes searched mine. “I told myself it was just sex.”
I nodded. “I told myself that too, but I’m too smart to risk my job just for sex. But for you, Nick—”
His lips were on mine before I could finish my sentence, which was just as well because I wasn’t sure I should share more. I was taking a big risk, and not just by kissing Nick in my office. We’d shared more than we had before, but it didn’t mean we had something that would last or that either of us was willing to risk our jobs. The truth was, the hospital needed Nick more than me, so my job was the one at risk.
“Stop thinking,” he murmured against my lips. “It makes me worry this is wrong.”
“This is wrong,” I said holding him tighter. “But right now, I don’t care.”
He turned me until I was against the desk. “I need you, Mia. Right here, right now.” His cock wedged at my cleft against my skirt, backing up his words. The wetness in my panties was proof that I needed him just as much.
“My door locks automatically.”
He lifted his head; his face was so handsome with the flush of color and desire burning in his eyes. I could see he was wanting verification that I was inviting him to fuck here and now.
I slid my hand over his arousal and squeezed, loving how he groaned. He slid his hands up my thighs, lifting my skirt. He tugged down my panties and dropped to his knees.
“I love how wet you get for me, Mia.” I leaned against the desk as he pushed my thighs wider and then did delicious things to me with his tongue.
“Nick.” His name burst from me in a harsh gasp as pleasure shot through me. I thread my fingers
through his blond hair. “Oh God yes … your tongue … fuck me with your tongue.”
He growled, and then I felt his tongue inside my hot, needy pussy walls. I let myself go to the sweet sensations. My head dropped back and I closed my eyes, feeling the pressure build.
“Yes … feels so good …" I was teetering on the edge when he stopped. “Don’t stop.”
He escaped my grasp and hurriedly undid his pants, pushing them and his boxer briefs down. His cock sprang free and I wanted my mouth on it, it was so large and beautiful.
I reached for it, but he pushed me back. “I’ve got to be inside you. I want to feel you come on me.” He maneuvered me onto the desk. “Open for me, baby.”
I spread my thighs.
His hands cupped my face and he looked into my eyes. “More than sex.” Then he kissed me hard, as he moved his hands to my hips and thrust inside me.
I wanted to cry out in pleasure as he filled me. He felt so good inside my body. It was like he was made just for me. I’d felt that first time we’d been together, but when we parted ways, I thought it was just because he was my first. Surely, I’d have as good of experiences with other men. They weren’t bad, but with Nick, there was something extra. Something special. Was it love? Was he the one, as my mother used to tell me, I’d find someday?
He lifted my thighs higher over his hips forcing me to lay back on my desk. “Hard and fast. Okay?”
“Yes.” I put my hands over his where they held my hips.
He began to move just like he said, fast and hard, our bodies sliding fully together in a slap. Our breathing coming in pants, made more difficult by my attempt to keep quiet.
“Oh god,” I clamped my hand over my mouth as I reached the pinnacle. My body went taut, and ecstasy careened through my body. God, it was so good.
“Fuck,” he said on a low groan as he gritted his teeth like he was trying to keep quiet too. He stopped moving. He leaned over burying his face in my chest. I wished I’d undone my shirt because he always seemed to like my breasts.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
He shook his head. “Just need a minute.” His voice was hoarse. He rose up and helped me to sit as he withdrew.
For a moment I worried. Why was he stopping when he clearly wasn’t done? His dick was hard and red, like it was angry. Was this just a game to him? Was this a punishment for Eli or how the hospital and I were handling things? Was he going to fuck me and then leave me?
Heart of Hope: Books 1-4 Page 17
