His reply came quickly. Why? Is everything all right?
No, it’s not all right, I thought. I nearly told him to find Evie. She could attend to his needs. Instead, I texted back, Don’t worry.
A few more texts came after that, but I didn’t look at them. In fact, perhaps it was time to delete the contact info for Devin. Maybe even block him from contacting me. The only thing that kept me doing it at that moment was the possibility it would be needed at work.
I wanted to turn the phone off, but since it was the only way for my parents to reach me in an emergency, I left it on. The last text came from Devin an hour into the drive. I ignored that message too. I hoped he’d get the message that I didn’t want to communicate with him. I should have stuck to my original plan of not getting caught up with him. I’d been right to want nothing to do with him and his family, and to keep Andrew from them. They were selfish and entitled people. My son didn’t need that in his life.
10
Devin
I was either a putz or completely clueless about women. Maybe I was both. I’d been so sure that Serena was into me and our plans to spend the weekend in the Hamptons. Now, a week after my parents’ party, I had to admit that she wasn’t into me at all. I supposed the first clue was how she avoided me at the party, but at the time, I thought she was just being hyper-focused on her job. Then she wasn’t at the B&B I’d arranged. She said she had to go home, which I suspected meant a family emergency, but her texts came through as cool, maybe even angry. But why would she be angry at me? I didn’t do anything wrong.
I sought out Brianna to see if she noticed anything at the party that might have upset Serena. I’d noticed her in the kitchen with Serena when I pulled Evelyn aside to tell her not to worry about my mother’s constant insistence that we were to get married.
“She seemed all right to me,” Brianna said as she went through her wardrobe to find that night’s fashions for her club-hopping venture.
“You sure?”
“Yes. She did think you were shirking your responsibilities with the guests, but I took care of that.” She turned and frowned at me. “What do you care anyway?” Then her frown turned into an accusatory glare. “You’re not messing with her, are you?”
I didn’t want to lie, but neither did I want to tell her the truth. Especially since it wouldn’t seem to matter that I liked Serena. She clearly didn’t like me. “I just want to make sure everything was taken care of with the party.”
“If you paid the bill she left, then I suppose the answer is yes.” She turned back to her closet. “What do you think of a speakeasy theme for the club we’re going to open here in New York?”
“I think it’s been done.”
She rolled her eyes. “It’s all been done including Irish pub.”
“We’ll talk about that another time.” I checked my watch, knowing I needed to get to the office for a meeting.
“Yeah, yeah,” she said dismissing me with the wave of her hand.
I left her to sort through her attire and headed to our building downtown. I wanted to stop thinking of Serena, but so far, that wasn’t working.
I managed to push her aside long enough to have a productive meeting. Then I hid in my office. As I sat behind my desk to look over the plans for hosting a St. Patrick’s party at the Roarke, my phone rang. The caller ID indicated the VP for the European office.
“Hey Colin, how are you?” I asked when I picked up the phone.
“Good. Listen, we’re about ready for plans on the Paris club and wanted you to come out to review them. We’d like to walk you through it.”
I had total confidence in the European office, but I did see a quick trip to Paris as a chance to get Serena out of my system. It had to be done, and it had worked five years ago when I had to leave for Europe. Well sort of. I supposed I’d always had a feeling that she was the one that got away. But now I knew she didn’t get away, she ran away.
“Yeah, okay. When do you need me?” I said.
He gave me the details and I immediately asked my assistant to arrange my flight to Paris and a suite at the Hotel de Crillon near the Champs-Elysees. I added in a couple of extra days to visit the London and Dublin spots as well. It would be good to see how the clubs were doing and check in with old friends.
For a moment I considered calling Serena to see if she wanted to come with me. Maybe this time she’d show up since it was only for a week. But then I realized that she was doing what she’d done then; ghosting me. Now anger more than irritation and concern filled me. It was time to take the hint and leave her alone.
I finished my work for the day, and then sat back with my eyes closed as Doug drove me home. When my phone buzzed indicating a call, I quickly grabbed it to see if it was Serena.
“Pussy,” I said to myself when the caller ID read Evie. I hated the hold Serena had on me and I hoped to hell it would break while I was away.
I poked the pick up button. “Evie, hi.”
“Hey Devin. Listen, my mother and I were just invited to lunch with your mom this week.”
“Oh?”
“My mother seems to think it will be a time to figure out how to wrangle you into control. They think you’ve put me off long enough.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose. “You did tell her what we talked about at my parents’ party, right?”
Evie felt about me the same way I felt about her. We were friends, but that was it. Like me, she’d been ignoring the ever-growing push by our parents to get us married. It was clear though that we needed to take stronger action. At my parents’ party, I’d pulled her aside and talked to her about what we could do to get them off this idea that we’d ever marry.
“Of course, I did. Surely you know by now that what we want doesn’t matter.”
“If you’d tell her about that musician you’re seeing, maybe she’d leave us alone,” I said.
Evie let out a skeptical laugh. “She’d make me marry you so fast our heads would spin if she knew about him.”
“I’ll talk to my mom. I’m heading to Europe for a week or so. Maybe with me gone, things will settle down.”
“You’re an optimist. Or they’re wearing you down. You better not come back with a proposal, Devin. I love you to death, but I won’t marry you.”
I didn’t want to marry her, but her words did make me wonder if there was something about me that women didn’t like. “Is there something wrong with me?”
She sighed. “I didn’t mean it like—”
“No, I know, I’m just curious.”
“Why? Is there a woman you like who’s avoiding you?”
Evie and I were close friends, but I wasn’t ready to share Serena with her. “Never mind. I’ll talk to my mom when I get home.”
“There’s nothing wrong with you, Devin. In fact, I’m certain there are thousands of women who would like to marry you. Some even have the right pedigree.”
I felt like a putz having asked. “I think I’d rather sow my oats a bit longer.”
“Good idea. It will make our moms crazy.”
When I hung up, I called my real estate agent to find out what was up with the apartment I wanted to buy. Clearly, I needed to get out of my parents’ house to create distance from my mother and her relentless attempt to marry me to Evie.
“They’ve got another offer,” he said.
Ugh. Why couldn’t something go right? “Offer them ten percent more, but I want to close in the next two weeks.”
“I’ll give them a call.”
“If they hem and haw, withdraw the offer and find me a rental I can move into when I get back. I’ll be in Europe over the next week, and I want to move to my own place when I get back.”
“Will do.”
When Doug dropped me off at my parents’ house, I immediately went to find my mother. She was in the study with my father. They were looking over some sort of paperwork.
“Oh Devin, good you’re home. Will you be here for dinner?”
I nodded. I’
d give them the evening before I rushed off to Europe and then out to my own place. “Yes, I’ll be here, but I’m leaving tomorrow for Paris for a few days, and while there, I’m also going to London and Dublin.”
“Is there an issue?” my father asked.
“They want me to tour the new club location, and I figured I’d make the rounds while there.”
My father inhaled an annoyed breath. “We really don’t need another club. Not in Paris, not in New York either. I know you’ve been looking into it.”
“It’s not a secret that I’m planning a club in New York. Bri is working on it with me.”
“She is?” My mother’s brows furrowed. I wasn’t sure if she was surprised or concerned by that news.
“Yes.”
“Soon you’re going to be too old, too settled for clubs. You need to let them go,” my father stood and went to the liquor cabinet.
“I’m twenty-eight, hardly too old. And as far as being settled, what will it take for you to believe me when I tell you Evie and I aren’t getting married. Not now. Not ever.”
My mother stiffened. “You’ve had your fun long enough, Devin.”
“What year is this, mother? You don’t have a say in who I marry.”
“Of course, we do,” she said. “At least if you plan to run the Roarke business.”
I looked from her to my dad. “Are you saying that if I don’t marry Evie you’re going to disinherit me?” The prospect startled me, and I wondered what I would do without my family money. I had some of my own money as I invested well, but I didn’t have the vast fortune my father did. On the other hand, the idea of totally being free and clear of my duty and obligation held a certain appeal.
“It’s not like that,” my father said, pouring himself a shot of bourbon with a bit of water. “But it’s high time you get serious about your life.”
“First, I’m serious about my work, you know it’s true. Second, what I do out of work isn’t any of your business.”
“We have a family name to protect,” my mother said. “You don’t seem to realize your playboy ways have consequences.”
I didn’t know what the hell she was talking about. “So the family name is more important than my happiness?”
She rolled her eyes. “Of course not, but you and Evie—”
“We’re friends. She doesn’t want to marry me.”
“She’ll come around—”
“She’ll be miserable and I would be too. Is that what you want? Why is it misery and infidelity are okay with your antiquated aristocrat ways, but marrying for love and happiness isn’t. This is all bullshit.”
“Watch your mouth and tone, son,” my father warned.
I held my hands up. “I’m not marrying Evie. I’ll pack my things and move out now. I’ll let Bri know that she’s the family’s last hope at maintaining the Roarke legacy.”
“Stop being so melodramatic,” my father shook his head as he looked from me to my mother. “No one is disowning you, Devin. Really, Katherine, you need to let this thing with Evelyn go. There are plenty of other suitable women out there.”
She sucked in a breath, but before she could respond, my father turned his attention to me. “And you need to stop playing playboy businessman and get serious. You want to be the big man? Then start focusing on the Roarke business and give up all this club nonsense.”
I glanced at my mother and knew she wasn’t going to give in on the Evie marriage. I knew I wasn’t going to give in on the clubs. They were successful, and catered to the next generation of Roarke customers.
“I’m going to Paris. When I get back, I’m moving into my own place and working with Bri on a new club, while simultaneously managing current Roarke properties. I did it in Europe, I can do it here. If you don’t like it, fire me now.” I waited for a second, my breath stuck in my chest as I wondered if my father would call me on my ultimatum.
“You can’t just—”
“We’ll talk when you get back,” my father said, interrupting my mother.
I nodded and turned to leave.
“He’s still young, Katherine. He can still come around if we don’t force him into a corner.” I heard my father say as I left the room.
I shook my head knowing I’d never come around. I went upstairs to pack for Europe. I checked on Bri but she wasn’t in her room. She was lucky to be born second. Perhaps being a girl helped too considering how antiquated my parents’ thinking was. I hoped to hell I wouldn’t put my family through all this old-world traditional bullshit. Then I remembered I wasn’t going to have a family. Problem solved.
11
Serena
I did the right thing by completely cutting Devin from my life, but that didn’t mean that I liked it. Each time he’d called or texted over the next week, I got annoyed wishing he’d get the message and stop. Then he did stop, and now I was annoyed and hurt that he wasn’t trying to get in touch with me. I was an idiot.
Ultimately, I had to accept that while I wished it could be different, the situation now was the best for all of us. I needed to focus on keeping Andrew safe from Devin’s family, even as it felt more wrong than before to do so.
All I had to do was stay away from Devin and my life could go back to how it was before. Well, maybe not exactly as before, but pre-Devin returning, I didn’t think of him as much as I did now. And he didn’t appear in my dreams as much either.
Letting Devin touch me again also ruined my private moments of self-gratification. It just felt so much better when he was touching me than me touching myself. I wondered if a toy would help me with that? Or maybe I could meet a new man. But even as I thought it, I knew that wasn’t the answer. It seemed unlikely I’d meet someone who got to me the way Devin did. And if I did, I’d probably feel guilty about it, which made no sense. I wouldn’t be cheating on him, and yet the idea of being with another man felt like a betrayal.
I scoffed at myself. “Clearly he doesn’t feel the same.” I couldn’t get the vision of him escorting his friend Evie into a private room at his parents’ party or of his sister telling me they were engaged and probably fucking. I thought I’d been smart with my heart this time around, but clearly, I hadn’t been because it felt like it had been stomped on.
“Mommy? Can we go to the airport? I want to see the airplanes.” Andrew sat at the kitchen table eating his breakfast.
“Maybe this weekend,” I said, happy for the distraction. “I don’t have to work this weekend so we can do something fun.”
“Can we ride in one?”
“I don’t think we can do that,” I said.
“Did you know that rich people have their own airplanes? That’s what I want when I grow up; to be rich and have my own airplane.”
Another wave of guilt rolled through me. Andrew was rich. The chances seemed pretty good that the Roarke family owned an airplane. It didn’t happen often, but on occasion, like now, I realized that there were things Devin could offer Andrew that I couldn’t. The money yes, but I meant beyond the money. Experiences. Like riding in an airplane.
“You’ll have to work hard and do well in school.”
“I do.”
I kissed his head as I made my way to the sink to pour out my coffee. “You’re a smart boy.”
I dropped Andrew off with my mother and made my way to work. I’d gotten lots of kudos for my work with the Roarke anniversary party, so Nikita was working to give me more exclusive work.
I was at my desk when she popped her head in. “Got a minute?”
“Yeah, sure. Come in.” I closed the file I was reviewing.
“Are you holding out on me?” she asked, looking down on me with her arms crossed and one brow quirked up.
“Ah…no…I don’t think so.”
“I’m hearing rumors around the office that Devin Roarke is engaged, and yet, I don’t see anything suggesting that we’re doing an engagement party or wedding.”
I swallowed hard as pain seared my heart. “I haven’t heard
anything about a party or wedding.”
She sat in the chair by my desk. “Then you need to bring it up. Rena, if you got the job of planning the Roarke-Winthrop wedding, you’d be made here. And the envy of everyone including me. You need to ask him about it.”
I nodded because I didn’t know what else to do. “I’ll ask.”
She frowned. “What’s going on? Is everything all right?”
“Yeah, sure,” I said forcing myself to smile and perk up.
“There were no problems with the Roarke anniversary party, was there? They were happy with everything, right? I mean there’s no reason why they wouldn’t want you helping them is there?”
I shook my head. “No. Everything went as planned.”
She studied me for a moment. “You didn’t…uh…you and Mr. Roarke spent time alone at the beach…you didn’t sleep with him, did you?”
“What?” I hoped I sounded shocked and offended. “No.”
“Good, because you know that would be grounds for firing. And if that got out while he was engaged to Ms. Winthrop, that would be a PR disaster for us.”
I was beginning to hate the word engaged, especially related to Devin.
“You don’t need to worry about that.” I waved a hand to indicate there was nothing to her concern.
“Good. I know I suggested something with him before, but it would be wrong as his planner. Plus, if he’s engaged, you don’t want him anyway. If he’s committed to someone and sleeping around, you don’t want him. Rich and sexy as hell or not, you deserve better. And of course, you have Andrew to think about.”
I nodded. “Yes, I do.” I appreciated the reminder.
She stood. “If there’s nothing between you too, you really should start talking to him about an engagement party and wedding. He can give you the introduction to the Winthrop family that you need for that.”
“I’ll get right on it.” Not.
“Good. Oh, one more thing. As you know, we got the St. Patrick's party at the Roarke. I’d like your team to help me with that. My team is meeting on it this afternoon. Can you and your team join us?”
Heart of Hope: Books 1-4 Page 33
