His hands slid around my back and pulled me tight against him. His erection grew hard against my belly and a whole new need washed through me. It flowed through my bloodstream, awaking every nerve in my body.
“I want you,” he whispered harshly in my ear as he ground his dick against me.
I gripped his tie and pulled him away from the door.
“Here?” His brows rose in surprise.
“Don’t tell me you’ve never had sex in your office.”
His cheeks flushed. “I thought we had to worry about your job.”
“We do. It will add to the thrill, don’t you think?”
He grinned wickedly. “Can you keep from screaming my name?” His hands gripped my hips and pushed me against my desk.
“I guess we’ll find out.” I had his tie undone and was pressing my hands over his hard, hot chest.
His fingers undid the buttons of my blouse and unclasped the front hook of my bra. My breasts fell loose and he groaned.
“I love your tits, Serena.” He held one and bent his head, sucking the nipple deep into his mouth.
I moaned and my pussy squeezed tight in response to his lips and teeth sucking and licking and nipping.
My hands shook as I hurried to get his dick free from his pants.
We grasped, grabbed, tugged, all in a flurry of movement until finally he was sheathed in a condom and plunging that hard, thick cock inside me.
I bit my lip to keep from crying out at the exquisite pleasure of his filling me.
He buried his face in the crook of my neck and groaned. “You feel so fucking good.”
I wrapped my legs around his hips, my arms around his neck. I wished I could hold him there forever.
His hips pulled back and then thrust forward, making me gasp.
“Devin.” My pussy was on fire.
He withdrew and plunged again, holding himself against me.
“Don’t stop. Don’t ever stop.” My hips rocked and my thighs shook as need consumed me.
“Never,” he growled as he moved, this time in a strong steady rhythm.
“Yes, yes, yes…” Like a mantra, the words flowed from my lips as pleasure built and built, coiling tighter and tighter until I was sure I’d come apart.
His fingers gripped my hips. “I’m coming…” He groaned against my breast as his paced became frantic, frenetic. He was gasping, his face contorted into that mix of pleasure and pain brought on by good, hard sex.
He tilted my hips, and plunged in again, grinding against me and hitting that one delicious spot inside me. Everything around me imploded and then burst like a supernova, stealing my breath.
He withdrew and plunged again, this time with a feral growl as he let loose his own orgasm. We moved together, drawing out the pleasure, until finally spent, he dropped his head to my shoulder.
I held on to him like I wasn’t quite tethered to the earth and he was the anchor. Devin was the only man I’d ever been with, and it seemed like every time, even five years ago, it was intense and explosive, like this. I wondered if it was like this for everyone. I wanted to think we were special, except that was dangerous. Nothing had changed. I was still deceiving him. We still couldn’t be together, at least not as a regular couple. Aside from my lie, was the fact that I could be fired.
I wished I could put all these thoughts off for a time so I could enjoy the afterglow of his touch.
“Stop thinking,” he murmured against my lips.
“I can’t help it.”
He lifted his head. “I don’t want you to risk your job. We’ll think of something. Just don’t withdraw from me.”
I nodded, even though I could feel the barriers rising again. I’d been so consumed by whether he and his family was good enough for Andrew, but in that moment, I realized that perhaps I wasn’t the one good enough for him. He kept giving and being patient, and I kept reaching for him and then pushing him away. I was essentially leading him on. I was the worst.
“Can you have dinner with me tonight?”
I shook my head. “I’m sorry. I have…” A son. Your son. “Other plans.”
His green eyes bore into mine like he was trying to decide if I was brushing him off again. “How about this weekend?”
“Plans.” I didn’t have plans except to spend it with Andrew. When I wasn’t working an event, I always made sure to spend my free days with Andrew. So I was lying again. I really was a terrible person.
He dropped his head and then started to pull away.
I cradled his cheeks in my palms. “Can I call you when I’ve time?”
“Will you have time?”
I sighed. “My life is different than it was five years ago. I have more responsibilities and obligations.”
“And what about you? Surely you can make time for you.” He shook his head. “I don’t want to be another one of your obligations.”
“It’s not like that. My life is so…complicated.” I could feel tears coming. Despite my wanting to be with him, the gargantuan issues were a chasm I couldn’t cross.
He let out a breath and stepped away, tossing the condom and pulling up his pants. “I’m willing to do what it takes to spend time with you, but I don’t know what that is. You’re hiding something from me or won’t let me in, and I don’t know how to overcome that.”
I slid from the desk. “I have lunch breaks.”
I was desperate to have him even though it was cruel. I could see in his eyes the pain I was causing. I hated myself for that. It was time to just come clean. I needed to tell him about Andrew and then let the chips fall where they may.
“I have been keeping—” The phone on my desk buzzed. I closed my eyes, hating the interruption. “Just a minute.” I reached over and picked up the phone. “Serena Moore.”
“Rena, is Mr. Roarke still with you?” Nikita asked.
I looked over at him. “Yes.”
“Really? Is he hiring you for an engagement party?”
“Ah…no.” I wasn’t quick enough to come up with some other excuse.
“What are you talking about then?”
“He’s just getting ready to leave,” I said hoping to avoid coming up with yet another lie.
He stared at me with a mixture of annoyance although I wasn’t sure if it was at me or himself for letting me hook and release him again.
“Have him wait. I want to go over some of the St. Patrick's plans with him.”
I covered the mouthpiece. “Nikita wants to talk to you about the St. Patrick's event.”
He nodded, even though I could see he’d rather get the hell out.
“Okay.” I hung up and straightened my clothes. “Nikita is on her way here.” I walked to him. “Maybe next time we can do this in your office.”
He quirked a brow. “I thought you didn’t want people to know.”
I shrugged. “We could say it has to do with party plans.”
His shoulders relaxed slightly. “I wish I could figure you out.”
“I don’t know. I think you know me pretty well.” I waggled my brows.
His lips twitched upward. “I know your body and what turns you on. But I wish I knew what was going on up here.” He pressed a kiss to my temple. “Fortunately, I’m a patient man.”
I hugged him so he couldn’t see my face. The truth was, patience didn’t matter. This couldn’t last and my drawing it out was bad for both of us. I had no doubt that this was going to end spectacularly badly. But even knowing that, I couldn’t do the right thing. If I was a braver person, I’d tell him the truth. If I was a stronger person, I’d walk away.
Instead, I gave him a quick kiss and then unlocked my door. I gave the room a quick once over, as well as our clothes to make sure Nikita wouldn’t be able to detect what we’d done on my desk.
I sat in on the impromptu meeting Nikita had with Devin. It was short because he seemed happy with everything she’d put together.
“If I was ten years younger, I’d jump him,” she said standi
ng next to me as we watched him leave, walking through the office to the elevator.
“He’s a client.”
“I wouldn’t care.” She looked at me with a grin. “Some things are more important. I imagine he’s really good in the sack.”
You have no idea, I thought.
“I feel sorry for him though,” she said.
“Really? Why?”
“His life isn’t really his.”
I frowned at her. “What do you mean?”
“I bet no one asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up because his future was already decided. He had no choice but to go into the family business.”
He’d said similar things, but I’d gotten the impression that he was trying to carve his own life now. Didn’t he say he’d leave his family before he’d marry the woman they’d picked?
“Have you ever met his mother?”
I shook my head. I wondered what number of lie that was. I seemed to be telling them at an increasing pace.
“She’s a piece of work. We’re lucky she’s preoccupied with his father, because she was always a challenge. You’ll notice how happy I was that you were tapped for the anniversary party. She’s domineering and runs that family with a clenched fist.”
“I didn’t have to deal with her,” I said.
“Good. She’d have sent you running and screaming to a new career.”
Devin finally disappeared into the elevator.
“Whoever marries him will have earned her angel wings to put up with her.”
The image of Mrs. Roarke telling me not to go to Europe with Devin, and then later, how angry and cruel she’d been when I told her I was pregnant flashed in my brain. Just like I was unable to resist Devin when he was with me, the memory of his mother made my decision to keep Andrew from them easier.
14
Devin
As I rode the elevator down in Serena’s building, I didn’t feel any clearer about what the hell was up than when I arrived. She said her concern was with her job. It seemed like a legitimate concern, and yet, I couldn’t help the feeling that there was more to it. Or something else. She was still hiding something. The smart thing to do would be to give her an ultimatum; come clean or let me go. Yet every time I started to walk, inside I was hoping to hell she’d ask me to stay. When she’d reach for me, I felt like we were in a little piece of heaven. For a short time, the world was just made up of me and her and it was sweet perfection. And then, before I could even withdraw my body from hers, I’d see the walls rise in her eyes. It was fucking frustrating. I couldn’t figure out why I was bothering except that the idea of not seeing her was something I didn’t want to consider.
When I arrived home, I remembered that the origin of her running off was in thinking that I was engaged. It was one thing if my mother had said it, but apparently Bri had said something. It was time I cleared things up with her too.
“Oh Devin, good you’re home. Brianna is going to be here for dinner tonight for once. Will you join us?” my mother said from her sitting room as I headed through the foyer to the stairs.
“Yeah. I have a few things I need to talk to you all about.”
“Oh? Good news?”
“I suppose that depends.” I started taking the stairs up to my room. I changed into shorts and a t-shirt and then went to the gym at the back of the house. I ran on the treadmill, pushing myself to relieve the emotional tension building in my body. Afterward, I took a sauna and then a shower. My muscles were relaxed, but my brain was still ruminating on what the hell to do about Serena.
At dinner time, I walked into the formal dining room that felt a lot like a museum. That was the problem with my family, I thought. We were so focused on image that we lacked warmth, not just in how we interacted but in how we lived.
I pulled out my phone and texted my real estate agent about the sale of the apartment. While I was in Europe, I got the message that the seller accepted my offer. Now I just needed to close the deal and move.
Close Friday. I’ll be at your office at 10. Move in any time after that, my agent responded.
Halle-fucking-lujah.
“Roped into dinner too?” Bri asked as she sat across from me with a glass of wine. I suspected it wasn’t her first one. It seemed to me she struggled with how our dysfunctional family was too, but I didn’t know why. She had way more freedom than I did.
“I actually eat with them a couple nights a week.”
“Glutton for punishment?”
I poured myself a glass of wine too and sat in my seat across from her. “Something like that.” Although instead of thinking of my parents I thought of Serena. “Listen, you need to stop telling people I’m engaged to Evie.”
Bri quirked a brow. “I don’t talk about you and Evie.”
“I’ve been told otherwise. I’m not marrying her.”
“Do Mom and Dad know?” she asked.
“Yes.”
She laughed. “Do they agree?”
“No. Mom threatened to disinherit me.”
Bri did a spit-take. “What?” She grabbed her napkin to wipe her mouth and her plate now covered with wine. “What did you say?”
“I said fine.”
“You’re going to walk away from nearly a billion dollars?” She smirked like she didn’t believe me.
“Yep.”
She leaned forward. “Holy shit, are you in love? Are you throwing it all away for love?”
“No.” I shifted uncomfortably. I didn’t want to go into detail about my complicated relationship with Serena. It couldn’t be love because it seemed to me love would be easier than whatever it was that I had with her. “But I’m not going to have my life dictated anymore. Besides, I invest my money. Plus, I learned a lot during my time in Europe. I can build my own billion-dollar company.”
She snorted. “I love that. Mom and Dad sent you away to make you grow up, but didn’t count on you growing balls too.”
I rolled my eyes. “My balls were always there.”
“That’s what the rumor is. So does Evie know you’re not marrying her?”
“She wants to marry me even less than I want to marry her.” I leaned forward in case there were prying eyes. “She’s seeing Jasper Lassiter. But don’t tell.”
Bri gaped. “As in Lowcountry Sinners the southern rock band’s Jasper Lassiter?” she asked.
“Yep.”
“Wow.” She sat back and looked like she was taking in the news. “But no one else knows?”
I shook my head. “No.”
“Maybe if the parents knew they’d back off you two.”
I laughed. “Can you imagine Mrs. Winthrop hearing Evie is seeing Lassiter?”
“She’d stroke out.”
“Right.”
Bri’s brows furrowed. “So, what were you and Evie doing hiding at the party if you weren’t showing her those big balls you say you have.”
For a young woman from a high society family, Bri could be so low class sometimes.
“While I was gone in Europe, our supposed betrothal never came up, so we both thought the families had forgotten. But once I got back, both our families were ready to send out the invites. She and I were trying to come up with a plan to get them off our backs.”
“How’s that working?”
“I think Mom believes when I say that I’ll walk away.”
“Walk away from what?” My mother entered the room, looking rich and regal. It appeared that she’d dressed up for dinner.
“You’re watching Downton Abbey again, aren’t you Mom?” Bri asked with a shake of her at Mom’s fancy dress.
“It’s a sign of respect to dress for dinner.”
I looked down at my Polo shirt and jeans and then over at Bri, who wore a hoodie. “I have more respect than you,” I said to Bri.
“You always were a kiss ass.”
“Brianna!” My mother’s shrill voice made both me and Bri flinch and then laugh.
“What’s for dinner?” my father
said entering. He wasn’t in a full suit, but he did have dark slacks and a crisp button shirt. I suspect my mother was going to let him off the hook because ties were difficult for him to tie these days. I watched as he made his way to the table. His gait was slow and stiff. Was it worse than it had been? I realized I hadn’t been paying much attention lately.
“It’s a roast with potatoes and asparagus,” my mother said sitting at her end of the table.
“I’m a vegetarian,” Bri said.
My mother looked horrified. My father rolled his eyes.
“That’s why she lives on vodka,” I said. “A full potato diet.”
Bri grinned at me.
“Why can’t we have a nice dinner without all the silliness. I swear. The two of you have never grown up.”
“Sure we have. Devin was just telling me about his big balls.”
My father choked and my mother glared. “That’s enough Brianna.”
She shrugged. “Maybe you’d rather talk about who Dev is banging these days that has him willing to walk away from his fortune.”
Now I was annoyed. “You really need to be sent to your room.” I glared at Bri.
“Is that true, Devin? You’re seeing someone?” My father snapped open his napkin and laid it on his lap. Carl, one of several servants my parents employed, rolled a cart in with our dinner on it. He served my mother first.
Annoyed, I said, “There’s a woman I’m interested in.” I couldn’t be sure I could call what we were doing as “seeing” each other.
“Is it serious?” my father asked.
I shrugged. “It’s too early to tell.”
“Who is it?” Of course, my mother would go right to that. She’d want to make sure the woman was worthy of a Roarke. Serena was, but my mother wouldn’t think so. Serena was aware of this. I wanted to reassure her that I didn’t care about pedigree, but I wasn’t sure I succeeded.
Heart of Hope: Books 1-4 Page 35
