I heard an audible sound of annoyance from Veronica’s side at the lawyer’s reminder that she’d been gone for a year.
“In light of the amicable relationship in the past, I wonder why this wasn’t taken to mediation first?”
“Ms. Tisdale is asking for sole custody,” the other attorney said. “In my experience, mediation wouldn’t work in a case like this.”
The judge stared at Veronica’s table. “Why sole? I don’t see anything here suggesting Mr. Hyatt is doing a bad job. What I do see is that Ms. Tisdale has had limited visits. A request for sole custody doesn’t make sense.”
I was glad that the judge was seeing reason. That had to bode well for Dylan.
“Ms. Tisdale is now remarried and settled. She’s ready to take on the responsibilities of being Maisie Hyatt’s mother,” the lawyer said.
“Again, I don’t see anything suggesting Mr. Hyatt isn't responsible. Why not joint custody?”
“Ms. Tisdale has some concerns about Mr. Hyatt’s lifestyle,” Veronica’s slick New York City lawyer said.
“What the hell?” Dylan hissed.
His lawyer pressed his hand on Dylan’s arm to keep him calm. “Your honor, if Ms. Tisdale has an issue with Mr. Hyatt, why isn’t it in the court documents? The truth is, she isn’t in a position to know Mr. Hyatt’s lifestyle, as she’s only seen him and the child a few times over the last three years.”
“It’s clear that Mr. Hyatt has been having an indiscrete affair with his babysitter while the child was in the home. They only married to cover it up and possibly to fool the court for this custody hearing,” the opposing lawyer said.
Anger seethed inside me. I fisted my hands, wishing I could use them on Veronica’s smug face.
“Single parents would never remarry if it was against the law to date,” Dylan’s lawyer said. “Maisie knows and loves Mrs. Tessa Hyatt. The truth is, Mr. Hyatt only followed his heart when it was clear that Mrs. Hyatt loved Maisie and that Maisie loved her. The fact that Maisie never talks about Mr. Baskin suggests there is no relationship there.”
“That’s a lie!” Veronica shouted.
“Ms. Tisdale—”
“Leo loves Maisie.”
The gavel sounded and the judge sighed. “Custody cases always bring out the worst in people, who often forget that the issue at hand is what is best for Maisie Hyatt.”
The courtroom remained quiet.
“In light of the fact that Mr. Hyatt and Ms. Tidsale—”
“I’m Mrs. Baskin,” Veronica said. “I just use Tisdale for work now.”
The judge gave her a hard stare, and Veronica’s lawyer leaned over to whisper something. I suspected it was to tell her to stop talking out of order.
“As I was saying, in light of the fact that Mr. Hyatt and Mrs. Baskin were able to negotiate custody and visitation terms in the past, I’m going to order that you try mediation. I don’t want to see two parents tear each other apart if they’ve been friendly in the past.”
We’d known that no decision would be made at that hearing, but it was a disappointment to not feel any closer to resolution. While theoretically I agreed that it would be better for Maisie if Dylan and Veronica could work out custody on their own, I didn’t see either of them giving in.
On the drive home, Dylan was quiet. Along with being forced to negotiate with Veronica, I imagined he was thinking that marrying me was a bad idea. I was supposed to help his case, but their lawyer had suggested that Dylan and my relationship was sordid.
“She has some nerve,” he finally said when he pulled into the driveway.
“The judge is right; disputes have a way of bringing out the worst in people.”
“Veronica wants the worst? I’ll show her the worst.”
I’d always had a sense that deep inside, Dylan was a man who could be angry and dark. He never talked much about his childhood, but there’d been enough comments to make me think it wasn’t great and that some residual emotional baggage remained. The fact that he was such a calm father and caring man was a testament to his character. I suspected that Maisie was the cause of his working to smooth out the rough edges.
But now, in his eyes, I saw true rage and a man who’d do anything to protect his daughter. There was something about it that unsettled me. I didn’t think he’d get violent or do something illegal, but I could see he’d push the boundaries of civil society.
He turned to me. “I need to get to work.”
“I’ll get Maisie from Corrine, and we’ll go to the park.”
“I’d rather you stay home with her.”
“Do you think Veronica will do something?”
“I don’t know. I’m glad we didn’t set up for her to take Maisie on a visit today.”
I had to agree on that. “Okay. We’ll find an activity at home.”
“Thank you.” His voice was distant.
“Dylan? Are you thinking that getting married was a bad idea?”
He looked at me for a second and then turned to look out the front window. “I don’t know. But it’s too late to change it now.”
I don’t know why his words hurt so much. I knew the score, and yet, hearing that he might regret having married me hit me at my core and something inside broke.
18
Dylan
I was an asshole. The truth was, asshole was part of my nature. I’d only covered it up because I didn’t want to be like the jerks my mother had brought home when I was growing up. When Maisie was born, somehow, not being an asshole had been easier. Looking into the precious face of my child, something had shifted inside me. I helped make this perfect being, so I couldn’t be all bad, could I?
But Veronica tapped into my inner beast. Instead of taking it out on her, I’d said something to hurt Tessa, a woman who was only trying to help me. But my rage was sitting too raw, too much on the surface to deal with it, so I left her to care for Maisie while I went to work.
One of the benefits of owning a gym was the ability to workout whenever I wanted. For me, working out was a way to cope with anger that coursed through my body, wanting to strike out. After a hard three-mile run on a treadmill, I lifted weights and climbed the climbing wall, which always helped me focus and balance.
I felt calmer, but there must have been something in my demeanor, as most my staff avoided me except for my manager, who’d acknowledged my court visit that day in a way that showed he remembered it, but didn’t require me to go into detail about it.
When I got home, I walked into the house to a cheerful Maisie and agreeable Tessa, as usual. In fact, anyone looking at us from the outside would have thought we were a normal family. But I could feel the hurt in Tessa. She tried to hide it with her smile and normal behavior, but I saw the pain in her eyes. I decided I’d apologize when Maisie went to bed, but when I went to find her, she wasn’t in the living room. Had she left?
I found her in bed, on her side facing the wall. I came to sit on the edge of the bed, hoping she wasn’t fast asleep.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
She rolled to her back. “For what?”
She knew for what. She was only acting like it didn’t bother her, because let’s face it, this marriage was supposed to be a farce.
“For what I said earlier. About getting married.”
She shrugged. “You thought this marriage would help your case, and Veronica turned it against you. It’s only natural to question it.”
I wanted to touch her, but didn’t feel like I had the right to. “It’s nothing to do with you.” The minute the words were out, I realized how awful they sounded.
Her jaw tightened and I looked into her eyes to see if I was making her cry.
“I’m so fucking bad at this. You’re great, Tessa. The problem isn’t that it’s you. It’s how it all looks.”
“I understand. We did this to help your case, but if it’s hurting you, we can just end it.”
Hell no, I yelled out in my head. “No. That would look suspicious. We
need to carry on like it’s real.”
“Okay. Whatever you need me to do.” She said all the right things, but there wasn’t any effect. It was like she was going through all the motions, but had turned off her feelings.
I stared at her, wondering how such a sweet woman was willing to help me when all I did was cause her pain. “I always seem to hurt you. I don’t want to, Tessa.”
She mustered a smile. “I know. This whole thing is hard on you. Don’t worry about me. This is about Maisie. Focus on her.”
I closed my eyes as guilt and gratitude mixed. Why couldn’t Veronica be more like Tessa? Why couldn’t she put Maisie first? Why couldn’t she compromise?
The next few weeks, our lives were as they had been the first few, except without the sex. That was fine, because while I wanted her so bad it made my eyes cross, I knew that continuing a sexual relationship would only complicated things between us. Tessa was young, and while she said she understood my stance on not loving again, pretending to be a family, sexual interludes included, could blur the lines. I’d hurt her enough. I’d asked for too much. So at night, I stayed on my side of the bed and tried not to feel too bad when she didn’t show up in the shower with me in the morning.
Aside from no sex, everything else was the same. Tessa was wonderful with Maisie. She had her exploring and learning, all the while thinking she was playing and having fun. We weren’t having sex, but we spent a lot of time chatting, and I found her support invaluable. I realized I didn’t regret this marriage, because I needed Tessa by my side to deal with all the crazy emotions I was feeling. She also had the ability to keep my baser, meaner, impulses regarding Veronica in check.
When mediation was scheduled, it was agreed that it would just be me and Veronica, and not our spouses. It was determined that since Veronica and I had been able to work out custody and visitation before, it would be best if it was just the two of us. But the amicable divorced-couple ship had sailed the day Veronica sued for sole custody. And while I liked how Tessa could keep me in check, I was glad she wouldn’t be there, because I didn’t want to curb my base instincts.
“You know I could ruin your reputation,” she said as negotiations fell apart. Neither of us was willing to give in. Had she come to me and asked for more time, I might have allowed it. But now, I wasn’t even willing to consider joint custody, and I definitely wasn’t going to accept anything that didn’t have Maisie living with me full time.
“Oh?” I quirked a brow, wondering how she could possibly think that.
“People know and like me. When they learn you’re keeping my child from me, they’ll vilify you. People will stop going to your gyms. Media will have you as a bad guy here and abroad.”
I felt certain that if she was going to do that, she’d have done it already. But she hadn’t, and I knew why. “Will you preface this gossip story with how you walked out on Maisie when she was two? How you have seen her only a handful of times in those years?”
The tension in Veronica’s face was so tight, it was a wonder it didn’t crack.
I leaned forward. “You want to fight dirty? I’ll give you dirty. I’ll start with how you missed Maisie’s birthday. Something tells me that will tarnish your image. You have much more to lose than I do where reputations are concerned. There’s nothing uglier than a woman who abandons her child.”
“Okay, that’s enough,” the mediator said. I was sure it was clear to her as it was to me that this wasn’t going to work.
“You’re a bastard, Dylan,” Veronica spat.
“You’re the one that said you wanted to take this to the media. Of course, you probably didn’t consider that Maisie would see and hear all of it. That you’d hurt her by attacking me.”
Veronica leaned forward and pointed her finger. “You were ready to attack me too.”
“What I said was the truth. The truth Maisie knows, because she’s lived it. She knows you haven’t visited. That you missed her birthday.”
In the end, it was clear we’d be back in court. Now more than ever, I didn’t want Maisie going to Veronica’s. While Maisie hadn’t said anything to indicate Veronica was trying to poison her against me, the issue was escalating, and I couldn’t be sure she wouldn’t. I also wasn’t sure she wouldn’t try to abscond with Maisie.
But my lawyer said to continue visits as usual so as not to look like an asshole. I was beginning to miss my inner asshole.
I suppose it was Leo’s connections that had our next court date set fairly quickly after our failed mediation. It was clear that the intention for this appearance was that Veronica wanted more visitation. Because we were back to showing off stable two-parent families, Leo was with Veronica and Tessa was with me.
“Has Mr. Hyatt denied any visits?” the judge asked Veronica’s attorney.
“No, your honor, but she’d like something more official. As you know, custody cases can get contentious, and she doesn’t want to lose visits.”
“My client has never denied or threatened to deny visits,” my lawyer said. That wasn’t true. I just hadn’t threatened Veronica with denying visits.
“I don’t see any reason why Mrs. Baskin shouldn’t have established visitation.”
Fuck.
“She’d like to take Maisie for longer than weekends. It’s summer, and she’d like to have Maisie for a month,” her lawyer said.
“No,” I said under my breath.
“Maisie has never been away from her father for more than three days,” my lawyer said, putting his hand on my arm to quiet me. “Perhaps we can start with a week.”
“Mrs. Baskin is Maisie’s mother—” the other lawyer started.
“This isn’t about Mrs. Baskin or Mr. Hyatt,” my lawyer interjected. “It’s about Maisie. She’s a five-year-old girl who has only lived with her father. Give her time to adjust.”
I liked the little swipe by saying Maisie only knew me, but I didn’t like giving in to longer visits.
“I agree,” the judge said. “Mrs. Baskin will have a week-long visit, and if that goes well, we’ll look at extending it.” Then she looked at her docket for setting the next hearing. Why was this taking so fucking long?
On the way home, I seethed to Tessa. “Why does Veronica get a second chance? Why doesn’t anyone give a shit that I was the one who stuck around while Veronica selfishly flitted around the world?”
“I know it seems unfair—”
“It is unfair. Fuck.” I hit the steering wheel.
Tessa was quiet. I looked at her and could tell she was having a thought I wouldn’t like.
“What?”
She shrugged. “Nothing.”
“No. I want to know. Do you think I’m being an asshole?”
“No. I just think …” She didn’t finish.
“Think what?” I prodded.
She sighed. “Your lawyer said it. This is about Maisie and what’s best for her.”
I did a double take. “You think Veronica is best?”
“No! God, no. What I think, though, is that Maisie knows Veronica is her mother. She loves her. It could be a benefit to Maisie to spend more time with her and get to know her.”
Rage roared up inside me. So much so that at first, it just boiled up, building in my chest until finally, it let loose. “This is none of your fucking business, Tessa.”
“It’s partly my business, because we’re married and I’m trying to help—”
“What we have is an arrangement. I’m paying for you to help me keep Maisie, not to be a part of decision making for her.”
Tessa jerked back like I’d slapped her. I knew I should feel bad about it, but I didn’t. She was supposed to be on my side, dammit.
She turned her head to look out the window.
Good. She got the memo. Maisie was my kid.
If I’d thought things were a little distant before, I could feel a definite cold shoulder after that. But I couldn’t worry about it. Nothing, not even the wife I wished I could keep, would get in the w
ay of my fighting for Maisie.
19
Tessa
He was right. I was a tool to help in his custody case. I had no rights where Maisie was concerned. But that didn’t stop the pain I felt at his outburst. The pain was followed by the usual feelings of stupidity. No matter how often I reminded myself that our marriage was fake, I kept forgetting. Everything else seemed real, even though he didn’t touch me anymore. We interacted as a family, and for me, my feelings for him and Maisie were real.
But I couldn’t let my wish for something more get in the way of the goal, which was to make sure he kept custody of Maisie. So as much as he hurt me, as much as I wanted to be angry at him, I had to push that all aside the following week when a court appointed worker showed up to interview us.
The woman was only a few years older than me. She looked kind and competent, not like the social workers depicted on TV who were always cold toward and suspicious toward the people they had to talk to.
“Along with meeting with you and observing you with Maisie, I’ll be talking to others in your lives, such as Maisie’s teacher, doctors, childcare—”
“Tessa is Maisie’s childcare,” Dylan said.
While I didn’t think he meant it to be hurtful, it was. It felt like I was relegated to babysitter again.
“So, you’re a full-time at home parent?”
I nodded.
“You and Mr. Hyatt haven’t been married very long. In fact, it looks like you married after you were served papers about the custody.” She didn’t say it, but her tone indicated she found that suspicious.
“Tessa and I were dating a year and were engaged when Veronica showed up again.”
I hoped the woman didn’t ask my roommates or parents about that. No one could verify our story because of course, it wasn’t true.
“And you were the babysitter before that?”
“I met Dylan when I moved in next door,” I started.
“I was immediately smitten,” he said taking my hand. If only that were true.
“As it turned out, I worked at Maisie’s school too, so it all happened together … my being her sitter and Dylan’s girlfriend.” The lie sat at the pit of my stomach making me nauseous. In fact, this whole situation over the last couple of weeks made me sick. I loved him and Maisie, and I wanted to help them, but the stress of the situation and the tension growing between me and Dylan was difficult to manage. Because I had to portray a loving marriage, I had to keep all those emotions inside, and clearly, they were starting to impact my physical health.
Heart of Hope: Books 1-4 Page 59
