“That’s the picture my mommy took me to get,” Maisie said with a mouth full of cookie.
I frowned, thinking this didn’t seem right, and yet Veronica was Maisie’s mother. She had every right to have a birth certificate and passport. “Are you going somewhere?”
“Mmm, I don’t know. Papa Leo goes away a lot, and mommy doesn’t like to be left by herself. She says they should move to Paris so she doesn’t have to miss him. Where’s Paris?”
“That’s in France.” Was Veronica having second thoughts, or was this passport an indication she wanted to take Maisie to Paris? Dylan would never allow that, so it didn’t make sense why she’d have this. She had to know he’d nix the idea. Unless she had sole custody, then she could do what she wanted and Dylan wouldn’t have any say.
“Where’s that?” Maisie asked.
“It’s another country across the ocean.” I pulled out my phone and snapped a picture of the passport and then pulled up a picture of France to show Maisie. “They speak French there.”
“Marie speaks French.”
“Who is Marie?” And why hadn’t I heard of her?
“She takes care of me sometimes when Mommy and Papa Leo go out. Like you do.”
My heart thunked in my chest at the reminder of who and what I was.
I heard a door open, and then voices.
“I’ll see if that’s your mom,” I said to Maisie. I peeked out of the kitchen towards the front door. Leo, along with a young woman, entered the apartment.
I couldn’t understand what they were saying as it appeared to be in French, but it wasn’t hard to miss the fact that Leo and the woman were more than friendly as his hand was on her ass and she was grinding her body against his.
He pinned her against the wall and made a “shh” gesture with his finger over his lips. “Veronica? You home?” he called out.
When he didn’t receive an answer, he lifted the woman’s skirt.
Oh, hell. I couldn’t let Maisie see this. I went back into the kitchen, opened and then slammed a cabinet shut so he’d hear.
“What’s that for,” Maisie asked.
I didn’t have a good reason I could tell her. I couldn’t say it was to make sure Leo knew we were here so he’d take his hand out of the woman’s panties.
A few seconds later, Leo walked into the kitchen. “What are you doing here?” I wondered if he remembered who I was.
“I brought Maisie here. Veronica was running late, so I was waiting. I hope it’s okay I got her a couple of cookies and milk.”
Papa Leo looked at me and then Maisie. He was probably wondering what we saw or heard. I kept a straight face.
“Hello, Maisie.”
“Hi Papa Leo.”
The woman came into the kitchen. “Ah mademoiselle Maisie. Bonjour my petite.”
“Bon-jer, Marie.”
Huh. Turns out Leo was banging the nanny. I wanted to snicker; except I was a nanny that had been banged by my boss. Of course, my boss wasn’t married. Well he was now, but that was to me.
“Did Veronica say when she’d be back?” Leo asked me.
“About twenty minutes …” I looked at my watch, “Fifteen minutes ago.”
He nodded. “Listen, would you mind staying with Maisie until she arrives? I have some work I need to take care of with Marie.”
I couldn’t help but gape. Was he going to fuck his nanny while Maisie and I were here?
“We’re working on extending her work visa,” he said.
“Sure. I’ll wait.” My parents weren’t expecting me until dinner time anyway. I watched as Leo escorted Marie out of the kitchen.
“She seems nice,” I said as I picked up Maisie’s empty plate and milk glass to wash.
“She’s okay. I like you better. You make forts and don’t make me speak French.”
By the time I had Maisie’s milk mustache and crumbs cleaned up, Veronica arrived home. I wondered if I should say something to her about Leo and the nanny.
Should I tell Dylan too? That certainly might be dirt he’d want to use. My conscience told me it was bad to use this type of information against Veronica. It would hurt enough to find out her husband was cheating, but to have it used against her in her custody suit seemed heartless. Was I betraying Dylan by thinking that?
Deciding I didn’t need to do anything at that moment, I gave Maisie a hug and kiss and told her I’d see her next weekend. Then I headed to Brooklyn, hoping I’d get respite and peace by spending time with my parents. The only stress I had was in trying to decide if I should tell them about the baby now.
22
Dylan
I walked into a quiet house on Friday, knowing Maisie and Tessa were gone. It wasn’t the first time I’d come home with no one to greet me, but for some reason, the emptiness stole my breath. It was like walking into a space devoid of life.
I hated what had happened between Tessa and me. Wasn’t that the reason I’d tried to resist her in the first place? Because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship? But I couldn’t blame her for where we were now. That was on me. My misery and loneliness were all because I pushed her away. I’d asked her to play the role of a loving wife, which she did perfectly. Even now, when it was clear a chasm was between us, she cared for Maisie, played a dutiful wife, and even managed to continue to sleep in my bed when I was sure she’d rather be anywhere else.
I could see it was taking a toll on her, which made me hate myself even more. She looked so tired and sad all the damn time.
The last year of my marriage with Veronica, there was the same cool distance, but I’d grown used to it, and eventually when she left it was a relief not to have to pretend anymore. But with Tessa, the further she felt from me, the more I wanted to do something to change it. I was scared shitless to let her into my heart, and yet based on how I was feeling completely gutted in my own home, it seemed obvious that she was already there. Fuck, she’d probably always been there.
The truth was, I wanted the reality of marriage and a family, not the sham. I wanted her to look at me as she had in the beginning; like I was her fucking hero. I wanted her to find her feminine sexual self using my body. I wanted to pay for her school, and whatever dream she had.
But I was a coward. I’d given everything I had to Veronica and she tossed it aside like an old tattered coat. Yes, we were young when we met as college sophomores, but lack of life experience didn’t mean the emotions we felt were any less intense. I’d loved her, and together we’d plotted out a life where I’d start a gym business and she’d work with me.
When Maisie was born, it had been her idea to stay home, which in hindsight, I should have known wouldn’t have worked. She was a social woman, liking attention and activity. By the time Maisie was a year old, it was clear she was unhappy, so when she said she wanted to spend time with friends in New York City, I didn’t balk. I wanted her to be happy.
Her trips became more regular, and I suspected that she wasn’t faithful, but I’d finally built a family my mother hadn’t been able to, and I wasn’t going to let it go. When she said she’d been hired to model, I thought that would at least stop the weekend parties and affairs, but when it turned out she was good at it, she spent increasing amounts of time away, and resented me and Maisie more and more when she’d come home. So when she called on a night she was supposed to be home to say she wasn’t coming home, ever, I didn’t beg her to return. When she asked that I take over full care of Maisie, I happily, and with relief, agreed.
I learned a lot from Veronica. The most important lesson was that I couldn’t put my faith in love. My mother chose her men over me. Veronica chose her dream over me. Now, all my love went to Maisie. I wouldn’t let her be hurt by life if I could help it.
I knew Tessa, despite her resentment of me, loved Maisie and would do anything for her too. I’d trusted her with Maisie’s care, and she’d never given me cause to question her commitment to my daughter. Even as I railed against her, telling her Maisie was mine and
she had no rights, she’d stuck with me in this crazy scheme. She was a woman who gave of herself and stuck by her word. She was loving, honest, smart, sweet, and faithful. I didn’t deserve her, but I wanted her. I wanted her so badly my chest hurt.
What would happen if I said all this to her? If I told her I was willing to risk my heart for her? I don’t think she’d mean to hurt me, but it wouldn’t be a surprise if she told me to take a flying leap. For that reason alone, I shouldn’t say anything. It was too late to change things with her.
And yet, these feelings nagged at me. She might tell me to fuck off, but then again, she was a forgiving and loving person. Maybe she’d give me a chance.
I poured myself a drink and took out the covered dish of fettuccine Tessa had left for me for dinner. See, she couldn’t completely hate me if she made sure I had dinner.
As my dinner heated, I psyched myself up about my feelings for her. I’d spend the weekend figuring out how to tell her how I really felt and see if I couldn’t persuade her to give this thing, or the thing we had a few weeks ago, a chance. The idea scared the shit out of me and at the same time, a sense of serenity came over me. Like this was the right choice.
I put my plate in the dishwasher and headed to the living room, thinking I’d make plans for the shelves Tessa thought I should have in the living area to help store Maisie’s growing stash of toys. I passed the phone sitting on a little side table and noticed the message light beeping.
I hadn’t had a landline phone until Tessa suggested it. She indicated that it was a safety issue if I didn’t have cell phone power in an emergency. She also said Maisie was old enough to call for help if needed, but she’d need to know where a phone was, which could be a problem if it was hidden in my coat. I remembered saying if I had the phone I could call, but she argued that the emergency could be with me. So I got a landline and until this moment, hadn’t ever noticed messages. I never even gave out the number.
Even so, I poked the message button.
“Hello, Mrs. Hyatt, this is Dr Layman’s office. She asked that I call to reschedule your sonogram to the week after next instead of this coming week.” She gave a date and time.
I stilled. Sonogram? Was Tessa sick?
“She said not to worry, a week later will be fine. Just keep taking the prenatal vitamins and take care of yourself. If you have questions or concerns, you can call us.”
I staggered back for a moment. Then deciding I hadn’t heard right; I replayed the message. Reschedule sonogram. Take prenatal vitamins. Jesus … Tessa was pregnant.
I swallowed as the news filtered through, turning from shock to anger. She was pregnant and hadn’t told me. What the fuck?
I began to pace, feeling like my world was whirling away. I’d just spent an hour in my head telling myself I could love her. That I could trust her. I could build something with her. As it turned out, I was wrong. Like I was always wrong.
From there my mind spiraled downward. Had she lied about the pill? Was it her goal to get pregnant? Was she planning to keep this pregnancy a secret and take my child, as Veronica was trying to do?
I grabbed the phone and dialed her number. She picked up on the third ring.
“You’re calling from the landline. Is everything all right?” she said.
“You tell me,” I growled into the phone.
There was a pause. “What’s going on?”
“There’s a message here from Dr. Layman’s office.”
Her breath hitched. I knew that sound. It was the sound someone made when they realized they’d been busted.
“Were you going to tell me you were pregnant?”
“Yes. Dylan … I can explain …”
“Really? There is a good explanation for why you’d keep this from me? Or were you going to take my child from me?”
“No, I’d never—”
“Funny, I don’t believe you. Is that what this was all about? You wanted to trick me?”
“Dylan, it was your idea to get married, not mine.”
“You wanted me to fuck you. I did fuck you.” I’d thought she was so sweet and innocent. Had I missed the signs that she was manipulative like Veronica?
“You used a condom the night I told you I wanted you.”
“And the honeymoon?”
“You started that.”
Fuck, she was right, but maybe I’d just let my dick lead me where she wanted him to go.
“I was going to tell you, but I wanted to be sure with the sonogram—”
“Bullshit. If you had a test, you knew. Why would you keep that from me? I trusted you—” I hated how vulnerable and desperate those last words sounded.
“You said you didn’t want to love or have more kids.”
“So you were going to keep this from me? Did you think I wouldn’t notice?”
“I wasn’t going to hide it.”
All this time, I’d thought her attitude towards me had to do with how I’d treated her. But maybe she got what she wanted and was now done with me. “Maybe you were acting so cold and distant so I wouldn’t notice. Or maybe you were going to bail on me and have the child on your own, never telling me. You probably don’t think I deserve to know.”
“Dylan, no.”
I could hear in her voice that she was crying, but I fought to not be swayed. I’d been swayed by tears before.
“What did you want, Tessa?”
She was quiet for a moment. “In an ideal world, you’d love me like I love you and, we––you, me, Maisie and this baby––would be a family. But I knew that wouldn’t ever happen, and I just needed time to wrap my head around the reality.”
“You don’t love me,” I scoffed. Did she really think I’d buy that?
“I do, Dylan. I’ve loved you for so long.”
“I don’t believe you. If you loved me, you wouldn’t have kept this from me.”
“I’ll come home and we can talk—”
“No. I’m done. You stay at your parents. But don’t think that this means I won’t fight for my unborn child. You know me well enough to know that nothing will keep me from my child.” Not wanting to hear more excuses or lies, I hung up.
“Fuck!” I yelled. How had my world so quickly gone to shit?
23
Tessa
Thank God I was in my childhood bedroom when Dylan called. I’d hate to have that conversation within earshot of my parents. Or for them to see me so upset.
My first thought when I realized Dylan was calling was that maybe he missed me. I noted the number on my caller ID was from the landline, so then I figured he just had a question. Maybe there was a message and he wanted to know how to get it. In the year since I’d suggested the phone, he’d never checked messages.
As it turned out, he did know how to get messages, and he’d gotten one I never expected him to hear. Why had the doctor’s office called that number and not mine? I’d given the landline number as a backup.
I sank to my bed the moment I realized he knew my secret. He sounded so angry. Of course he would be. He should be. I’d kept something from him, and considering everything he was going through with Veronica, I couldn’t blame him for feeling betrayed and fearful about losing his child.
At least he wanted the baby, I tried to console myself, even as my heart was breaking at his harsh “I’m done.” I wasn’t sure what that meant. Were we going to continue the charade, or was he going to kick me out and file for divorce? Either way, any chance with him I’d had was gone, although who was I kidding? I’d never had a chance. He’d said so on more than one occasion.
I had to hope that when he calmed down, we’d be able to negotiate something that allowed us both time with the baby. I wasn’t like Veronica. I wouldn’t ever try to keep him away. He didn’t believe that now, which hurt. I’d have liked to think that he knew me well enough to know I wasn’t the sort of person to use a child or to want to hurt him. Then again, considering how strained things were between us, and now knowing what I’d kept fro
m him, it was hard not to think he’d believe the worst.
“Tessa?” My mother knocked on my door. “Are you all right?”
I sniffed, and reined in my crying. “Yes, Mom.”
“Dinner will be ready in ten minutes.”
“I’ll be down.” I stood and went to my mirror. My eyes were red and puffy. As soon as I heard my mother go downstairs, I’d go to the bathroom and see about salvaging my face. I wasn’t ready to tell them about me and Dylan or the baby.
I picked up my phone and accidentally hit the photo app. The picture of Maisie’s passport popped open. I’d forgotten about it, but knew I needed to tell Dylan, so I started to dial his number. Two digits in, I decided he wouldn’t pick up. It was clear he didn’t want to talk to me.
Instead, I called his lawyer, and told him about the passport.
“She’d need sole custody to take Maisie out of the country without Dylan’s consent, so now it makes sense,” he said, not sounding nearly as concerned.
“If she took Maisie out of the country, Dylan wouldn’t see her,” I argued.
“She’s a model and her husband is a businessman. It makes sense they’d want that, because they travel a lot. I’m not saying she’ll win; I’m just saying there’s no wrongdoing there.”
“What if she plans to move there? They have a French nanny. A French nanny that I saw with Mr. Baskin’s hand up her skirt.”
“Oh. Now that is something that could be useful.”
I was glad he had something he could help Dylan with, even though I felt like the passport was more significant than the fact that Mr. Baskin cheated on his wife. When I got off the phone, I called the PI Dylan had hired and recounted my story again.
“I know it may not be anything, but it seems like something Dylan would want you to check into,” I’d said when I finished.
“You’re right,” he said. “Why isn’t Mr. Hyatt telling me this?”
“I dropped Maisie off at Veronica’s and saw it tonight. He wasn’t home, so I called you directly. I called his lawyer too.”
Heart of Hope: Books 1-4 Page 62
