I pulled my hand away. “You had peanut butter on your cheek.”
He watched me a minute longer and then said, “Thanks.” As our gazes held, my heart filled with such longing for him and what we had. There was so much I wanted to say, and yet, every time we talked, it was always the same; I blamed him for working too much and he blamed me for focusing everything on the kids.
There was emotion in his eyes, and I wondered if he felt the same? Wishing we could get past our resentments to find us again.
He stepped back. “See you tonight.”
“Bye daddy,” the kids called.
He started out, but gave me a quick glance over his shoulder. It reminded me of when we first met as coworkers who weren’t supposed to fraternize. We kept our relationship on the downlow, but every time he’d leave a meeting, he’d give me one last look over his shoulder. At the time, it had been a look that said he’d loved me.
Only after he was gone this morning did I realize I still hadn’t told him about my cancer. I’d need to find time when the kids were preoccupied or maybe I could do like Emma said and arrange a date night where she could babysit.
There was so much to do. I knew from my mother’s treatment, that I’d be weak and need help. Would he be willing to take time away from work to help me? Or would he prefer to hire help? Either way, he needed to be involved now.
“Mommy, Noah spilled his smoothie.”
I turned to find Noah using his hand to try and clean up a small puddle of his breakfast. “Let me wipe it up.”
I grabbed a sponge and began to clean up the mess. If only it was as easy to clean up the mess between Brayden and me.
7
Brayden
There’d been a moment when Terra wiped the peanut butter from my cheek that I’d felt a spark of something between us. That was followed by emotion, a longing to kiss her and get back what we’d lost. As I left, I wondered if I’d imagined it, so I turned back to look at her. For an instant, I was propelled back in time to when I met and fell in love with her.
Ten Years Earlier
I was feeling pretty full of myself, especially standing next to this douchebag who, like me, was starting his first day at the established Seattle tech firm. I’d just finished earning my MBA, after earning a joint computer science and business degree in my undergraduate studies. My reward was a sweet job with great pay at the tech giant.
Douchebag and I were waiting to meet our new supervisor.
“Someday I’m going to run this place,” Douchebag said with that kind of boasting that let you know he was compensating for a lack of confidence or talent. My guess is he had the talent, but clearly not the confidence or social skills. He probably had a tiny dick too.
“Good luck with that,” I said. Not that I didn’t expect to do well and work up the ranks, but I was smart enough not to be obnoxious about it.
“You don’t have plans to move up?”
“Sure. Right now, I’m focused on the job at hand. Can’t move up if I don’t do this one well.”
“Not me. I wanted the supervisor position. That’s what I really deserve. But I’ll take this shit level job to show I’ve got the goods to move up. Maybe I’ll do her too. Couldn’t hurt to please the manager, you know what I mean?”
See? Douche.
I turned to where he was looking, and my heart stuttered to a stop in my chest. I could see why Douche would want her; she was stunning. What caught my attention first were her eyes. They were an amazing green and behind them was intelligence and fire. She was tall and lean, wearing a skirt and a shirt that was professional, and at the same time sexy. Normally, I liked women with a little more meat, but I couldn’t deny the attraction of the sculpted calves and long legs.
“Mr. Burrow? Mr. McLean?” she said as she reached us.
“Call me Lyle,” Douche man said.
I nearly snorted at his name though I didn’t know why. I supposed it was because he seemed like a guy that would have a douchier name.
“I’m Brayden,” I said.
She shook Lyle’s hand and then mine. Her hand was warm and her shake was firm. She looked us both in the eyes. This was a woman who wasn’t intimidated by anything.
“I’ve heard a lot about you, Mr. Burrow. Graduating with honors. In two majors.”
I smiled, but a response seized in the back of my throat. I felt a nudge from beside me. I turned to look at Douche McLean who quirked a brow. Holy shit, I was tongue-tied by this woman. That hadn’t happened since I was a teenager.
“Ah, yes. I knew I was interested in the tech industry.”
“Shall I show you and Mr. McLean around?”
“You can take me anywhere, honey.”
I cringed inside at Douche McLean’s response.
“Perhaps now is a good time to explain that we have a no-fraternization policy here.”
Douche McLean grinned. “Rules are made to be broken.”
I frowned. Didn’t he know he was in a workplace?
“It depends on how much you want to risk your job.” She looked from him to me, and in that moment, I’d risk anything to spend time with her.
By the end of the first week, I’d finally made my tongue function when I was around her. She and I worked well together. She was creative when it came to problem solving and wasn’t afraid to speak her mind. More than once I saw her outmaneuver Douche McClean and he had no clue he was being played.
The best times were when Terra and I worked alone. Like me, she was willing to stay late, and it was during those quiet work sessions alone that I knew I had to have her. I was adept enough in the language of sexual tension to know that Terra was intrigued by me as I was by her. The problem was that pesky no-fraternization rule.
One evening a few weeks into the job, we were working in her office. I was at the work table while she was at her desk.
“Come look at this, Brayden,” she said.
I went to her, standing beside her as I looked over her shoulder at her work.
“Could work,” I said of her idea. While I’d found my tongue, that didn’t mean her intoxicating scent didn’t fog my brain and leave me capable of only two-word responses.
Doing my best to keep from revealing too much of my desire for her, I leaned over, supporting myself with one hand as I pointed with the other.
“But what about this?”
She turned her head, looking up at me. It would have been so easy to close the foot-long distance to kiss her. And I wanted to. It would be worth losing my job. What I wouldn’t be worth was offending her. So I ignored my desire and instinct, and somehow held back my groan of frustration.
“I find you quite distracting, Brayden.”
“It’s not me,” I said, as my heart picked up the pace. “It’s you.”
She smiled, and it was the most fucking beautiful thing I’d ever seen. “Do you like working here?”
I couldn’t decide if she was asking about working with her or reminding me of the no-fraternization rule.
“I do, except for one thing.”
“Oh?” Her lips rounded to a perfect O and I couldn’t stop my brain from wondering if that’s how they’d look when she had an orgasm. God, I wanted to find out.
“It seems wrong that I can’t kiss you.” Okay, so I hadn’t meant to step that far out of line, but then again, it was only a matter of time before we had to deal with this.
A slight blush came to her cheeks. “It is after hours, now.”
I quirked a brow. “So, the rule is only for work hours?”
She shrugged. “I’ll have to reread the policy, but the powers that be can’t dictate what we do when we’re not working.”
“But we are working.” I kicked myself for saying something so stupid.
“I guess you’re right.”
Think fast, Brayden I demanded my brain. “You distract me too, Terra.”
“Do I?”
I nodded. “Did I mention I’d like to kiss you?”
“Yes.”
“In fact, I’m thinking I’m willing to risk getting fired if you thought you might like to kiss me back.”
“Do you always talk so much before kissing a woman?”
Nope. Not anymore. I leaned over and brushed my lips over hers. It was a test to make sure she wanted this and it was something I was willing to risk my job on. From the first taste, I knew I’d never want to kiss another woman again.
I took her by the arms and lifted her up from her chair, pressing her against the desk as I sank into the kiss. This could be the only one I ever got, so I was going to make the most of it. I covered her mouth with mine, and slowly teased hers open with my tongue running along the seam of her lips. Finally, I was inside her hot mouth, her tongue dancing with mine and it was glorious.
I lifted her on the desk and stepped between her thighs, hoping she’d like to know the effect she had on me as my raging hard dick pressed against her.
She gasped. “Brayden.”
I stopped kissing her, and rested my head against her forehead. “Too much too soon?”
Her hands gripped my arms and I wanted to believe the kiss was so powerful that she felt she needed to hold on to keep from flying off.
“No. I want this, but perhaps we should take a moment before—”
“Before I fuck you on your desk?”
She laughed. “Yes. Is that okay?”
I nodded. “Yes, of course. I’ll just go home and take a cold shower.”
“Really?”
“No. I’m going to take a hot shower and jerk off thinking of you.” I wondered if I was saying too much again.
Erotic heat flashed in her eyes. “I have a toy I take in the tub for moments like this.”
Fuck, fuck, fuck…how was I going to make it home with my dick nearly busting out of my pants? “I’d do anything to watch.”
“Maybe someday.”
Okay, so I was probably going to have to jerk off in the men’s room before going home. My dick was already locked and loaded.
“Am I your first?” I asked.
She quirked a brow. “I’m not a virgin, if that’s what you’re asking.”
Dumbass, I said to myself. “No, I meant breaking office rules.”
“What if you were?”
Now I felt like an idiot. But because I wanted this woman more than just sexually, I laid it on the line. “I’d hope it meant it that I was special. Because Terra, you…you’re amazing and this is more than just wanting to fuck, for me.”
Her breath hitched, and for a minute I was afraid I’d blown the whole deal. But then she pulled my tie bringing my lips a whisper away from hers. “You’re special too, Brayden.”
The next day, I fucked her on the desk after work, that weekend I’d fucked her at my place, and by the end of the following week, I hadn’t been able to keep my hands off her, which meant I was fucking her at work during work hours. It was dangerous and thrilling.
While the initial thrill of a new romance eventually dropped to a simmer, it was still sizzling hot and I knew I wanted to spend my life with her.
As I pulled into the parking lot at work, I wondered what the fuck had happened to Terra and me. I’d used to tell her anything and everything, including feelings I’d rather keep to myself. So why couldn’t I do that now? Why hadn’t I told her how fucking hurt I was that she’d started looking into divorce? Why couldn’t I tell her that I loved her and I wanted to work out whatever the hell was wrong with us? How and why had we let us get so pulled apart?
I knew I needed to find an answer, but as I walked into my office, I turned that off and switched over to work mode. It was possible all my hopes and dreams for us were dead, and eventually I’d be supporting her and the kids while I was having to live alone in a separate house. We had the money for that now, but because I knew divorce was costly, I’d work hard to make sure I could keep her and the kids comfortable even if I wasn’t going to be living with them anymore.
8
Terra
I sat alone in the sunroom with a cup of tea enjoying a moment of silence now that the kids were at school, and I’d tossed a load of laundry into the washer. I thought back to this morning and the sizzle between me and Brayden as I wiped the peanut butter from his cheek. I hadn’t felt that between us in a long time. It was good to know it was still there.
It made me remember the surprising electric chemistry I’d felt when I’d first met him. He had started at the company I worked for at the same time as another man that I couldn’t remember, except that he was full of himself. No, the only one I saw was Brayden.
He’d stood out as something special on paper with his double major, and honors in both college and graduate school. In person, he was equally impressive, and not just because of his six foot three inches of sexy man, jet-black hair, and pale blue eyes. He was smart, funny, sweet, hardworking. That last thought stopped my reverie for a moment. He’d always been one to put in extra effort and more time. When we’d worked together and later when we started our own company, that hadn’t been such a problem because we were together. I realized that it was a bit unfair to think he’d changed or was choosing work over me and the kids, when he’d just kept doing what he’d always done. In fact, his commitment to work had been one of the things that had drawn me to him.
I closed my eyes and went back to the time that I first saw and got to know him. It hadn’t taken long before I’d tossed all the rules about not having a relationship with a coworker out the window. Brayden was just too good to pass up. Within a week, we were having sex during off hours and not long after that, during work hours as well.
“I don’t suppose you need anything in the supply closet,” I said peeking my head into Brayden’s cubicle. I’d tried to wait until after everyone had left for the day before jumping him, but I wanted him too badly. We’d been having sex for a couple of weeks, and, as of yet, the novelty of it hadn’t worn off. In fact, it felt like the more I was with him, the more I needed him and his touch.
He looked from his computer, and a wicked grin spread across his face. “It depends.”
“On what?” I was risking my job to have this man, but in that moment, I didn’t care. He made me feel alive in a way I couldn’t ever remember feeling.
“Will you be there? Because the only thing I need is a supply of you.”
I waggled my eyebrows. “I’ll meet you there.”
A few minutes later, he had locked the supply room door behind him and pushed me until I was on the edge of the table used as an extra workstation.
“I can’t get enough of you, Terra,” he said as his mouth seared my lips and his hands found their way under my blouse. His fingers brushed over my breasts and I gasped as need rushed to my center.
“Suck my nipples Brayden,” I begged. “I love it when you suck them.”
He groaned, and helped me free of my bra. “I love your tits, baby.”
I wasn’t as large as I’d have liked, but Brayden didn’t seem to care. Where they lacked in size, they made up for in sensitivity as he could bring me to the edge of orgasm simply by sucking them.
I held his head to me as his mouth worked one sensitive nipple and then the other. The feel of tongue, the heat of his mouth pulling and tugging, I squirmed with the need to have him inside me.
“Are you hard?” I asked. I hadn’t been much of a talker with my other boyfriends, but there was something about Brayden that made me feel free. I didn’t worry about saying the wrong thing and in fact, I wanted to be open with him about everything. We’d only been working together for a month, and he’d known about my losing my mother, how hard I’d worked to get to where I was with the company, and my secret desire to start my own firm.
“So fucking hard, baby,” he gasped. “Tell me you’re wet.”
We groped at our clothes, desperate to be free of them.
“Sopping.”
He moaned, and dropped to his knees as he yanked my panties down and pressed my thighs open.
“Oh yeah,” he sighed.
“Make me come, Bray.”
His tongue swept through my folds and I bit my lip to keep from crying out.
“Hard and fast,” he growled as his tongue flicked over my clit.
“Yes, yes, yes,” I said holding his head to my pussy. “Eat me…”
He groaned against my pussy. My hips rocked as I fucked his mouth.
He sucked my clit and stars lit up my brain as my entire body convulsed.
“Yes, I’m coming…” I said trying to be quiet about it, but not sure I was succeeding.
He stood up, freeing his dick. “You taste so fucking good.” He kissed me so I could know my own taste.
“I’m going to fuck you now,” he said pressing his dick against my still throbbing pussy.
“Yes.” I gripped his shoulders, eager to feel him inside me again.
He plunged in, and I gasped at his invasion. Brayden’s immense presence wasn’t just in his height or persona, but his dick was amazingly thick and long. When I first saw it, I had a moment to wonder if maybe it wasn’t too big.
“So good baby,” he said as he gripped my hips and began to piston in and out of me. He was a bit crazed as he fucked me, driving me up and up. I loved it when he was wild like this. Like he was desperate and couldn’t control his need for me. It made me feel so feminine and sexy.
“Brayden,” I said. Being with him like this, I was always swamped with emotion. As much as I could tell him about me and my feelings, the one thing I hadn’t confessed was that I loved him. Saying his name was code for my utter devotion to him.
“Come on me, Terra. Take me over…baby…come on…”
I was panting as a second release teetered on the edge. He leaned over, sucked on a nipple, and that was it. He rocketed me to the stratosphere, blasting pleasure through my body.
“Fuck…yes…so good…I’m coming.” He grunted, thrust in, and his hot seed filled me. That had been different with him too. I’d never been with a man without a condom, even though I was on the pill. With Brayden, I wanted all of him. I wanted to give all of me.
Heart of Hope: Books 1-4 Page 70
