“Mhmm, she did. Mommy said you all used to know her. How?”
I clear my throat loudly, warning Cody once more I don’t want Ava knowing how, then turn my attention to the action in front of us.
“Well, when your daddy and I rode Junior Rodeo, right after we met your mom, we all ran into Missy. She rode, too.” He glances over at me. “So we all knew her. And, no, I don’t like her very much. She wasn’t very nice to your mom. I know it’s not polite to keep secrets, but I don’t think you need to tell your dad she said hi, either.”
“Okay.” Ava nods in agreement. “If you guys don’t like her, I don’t either.”
Aubrey pipes up then, too. “Me needer!”
“Neither,” I correct her, smiling.
Cody chuckles and kisses Aubrey’s head, and then Ava’s. “All right, my favorite girls, I need to get down there, bulls are up soon and I need to be there to help Chase.”
“‘Kay, Uncle Cody,” Aubrey says as she slides off his lap.
“Will you do something for me?” Ava asks as he stands.
“Sure thing,” he replies easily and squats down to her level.
“Will you give him a high five? Tell him it’s a special one from me, he’ll know what it is.”
A huge grin overtakes Cody’s face and he nods his head, glancing up to me and winking. “I’ll give him one, and I’ll tell him it’s from you.”
“Thank you,” she says.
As Cody starts to walk toward the steps I call out, “Tell my Cowboy it’s from all of us, yeah?”
Cody puts his hat back on his head and tips the brim down with a subtle nod, and then he disappears.
“Mommy,” Ava says, “I’m nervous.”
I am too, Ava. This will never get any easier.
“He’ll be okay, he’s the best, right?”
Ava nods her agreement and both girls settle on the bleachers, filling in the gap left from Cody’s departure.
Chase
The bulls have been rank today. All of them. I don’t know if it’s in the food, the water, the heat, or if they’re just really fucking tired of having riders on their backs, but very few of us are staying up for the full eight. I will be the one that changes the pattern. No bull will best me when my girls are all here to watch.
But I need my damn friend to get his ass down here. Superstition isn’t something I take lightly, and I start every damn ride the same way. He helps me. I help him.
As though he could feel my thoughts shouting at him to unbury himself from whatever pussy he was balls deep in and get over here, he comes strolling up, shit-eating grin firmly in place.
“I hope she was good, jackass. I didn’t think you’d make it down here in time.”
He throws his head back and laughs. He fucking laughs like I just told the best joke in the world.
“Relax, asshat, I wasn’t going to miss being here. And, for your information, all three of them were great to hang out with.”
“You sick fuck, three of them? Really?”
“Christ, having your family here makes you uptight about rides. Your ego can’t handle anything going wrong while they’re watching, huh?” He shakes his head, still smirking. “Tell me, genius, how many girls did you come here with today…”
Realization smacks me square in the face when he says that. “You were with Allie and the girls?”
“No shit, Sherlock.” He steps up beside me. “So pull your head out of your ass, ask what I know you want to ask, and let’s get focused on your ride.”
I exhale and let out a little chuckle. “How are they?”
“Missy run-in aside, they’re all great…”
I look at him, clenching my back teeth together. “What did she say?”
“From what I can tell, nothing too terrible. Ava wanted to know if I liked Missy, and she told the girls to tell you hi. Allie wasn’t thrilled, but she’s fine, too. And Aubrey, is having a blast. Between rides and events we were taking silly pictures together.”
“Good, that’s good. Thanks.”
He pats me on the back and clasps my shoulder. “Now get your head on straight. It’s about time.”
We move up to my assigned chute and I get ready. Trying to steady my breathing and tamper the adrenaline starting to course through me as the bulls are brought into the chutes.
“Oh, before I forget, your girls sent you something.”
I look at him, and he holds his hand up like a fool.
“What the hell are you doing?” I ask, completely lost.
He nods his head up toward the stands, in the direction of their seats then says, “Ava asked me to give you a high five and tell you it’s supposed to be the special kind. Allie said to include her and Aubrey in on that, too.”
I smile up, finding the girls in the front row and nod my head once for them, then give Cody a high five.
“If you ask me to clasp your hand like they do, I’ll push you into the chute with Freight Train and let him stomp your ass before you even get out.”
That draws a deep, loud laugh from me, one that turns everyone’s heads around us. “You try it, and you’ll be the one getting stomped…”
“There he is,” Cody teases, “I was starting to think you left your balls in Allie’s purse.”
“Fuck you,” I retort. “They’re right here and still bigger than yours, just so we’re clear.”
Cody doesn’t say anything. Instead, he turns his attention to the ride going on right now. “Has anyone hit eight today?”
“I don’t think so,” I glance at the board to see the standings, and there are no riders up there. “Take home this round may be huge.”
“It will be.”
Cody steps over and shakes hands with another rider we’ve seen around, he’s new and young, but he’s good, and they talk for a few until I’m ready to get set on my bull. When Cody comes over to help me get set, we run through our normal routine, he pats me hard, “Eight seconds” leaving his mouth, just like every ride. Before I nod my head to indicate I’m ready to ride, he adds in one last thing, the push he knows will make me fight even harder. “This one’s for your girls.”
I nod my head, for him, and for the gate to be opened. I will fight harder for every single second tonight, for my girls, than I have all season. They’re who I’m riding for always, but with them here, I want them to know I’m the best.
I want them to know I will always be the best, for them.
It’s that silent vow that lets me hang on long enough. I fight for every point, squeeze my fingers, roll and turn every time Freight Train does, and get my time.
With my family here, I’m damn near invincible.
Allie
“Mom, mommy, look, looooook,” Ava says dramatically, pointing her finger in the direction of the Ferris wheel. “Who is with Uncle Cody?”
I look up where she’s pointing and see Cody talking to a young woman. He’s standing with his chest puffed out, arms crossed over it, flexing like a damn fool. You’d think the man would avoid sexual contact for a night, considering his first ride of the rodeo is tomorrow, rodeo day four. The final day of the first round.
“I don’t know, but you can go see if you want to.” I grin down at her.
“Okay, I’ll be right back!” She takes off in Cody’s direction.
A deep, gruff chuckle vibrates in my ear right as two strong arms wrap around me from behind. And then Aubrey appears momentarily before she’s chasing Ava.
“That’s cold, Darlin’,” Chase says, still laughing.
“He’ll survive. She may even find the girls cute and endearing.” I rest my head back on his shoulder, feeling the heat from his arms through my tank top, causing a warmth that is equally comforting and also unpleasant in this heat, to spread through my body.
“She won’t. You just sent the girls to chase his piece for the night off.”
“Now really, would I do that?” I ask, feigning innocence and smirking up at him.
“To him? Hell y
es, you would.”
“He can go one rodeo without getting his dick wet,” I say, shrugging, and Chase laughs. It’s a loud, full laugh that warms my heart. It’s a laugh I know has his eyes squinting with the spread of his lips, giving him a smile that takes up his whole face.
“Allie Anne,” he tries to chastise me, but fails when he laughs some more. “I can’t believe you just said that.”
“We both know it’s true,” I reply, still watching Cody, Ava, Aubrey, and the woman who’s quickly losing interest in him.
“It is,” he says, turning me in his arms to face him. “But you haven’t talked like that since, shit, I don’t know? Maybe when you were still riding every weekend, or joining me on the road. Your old habits are coming back on you.”
I scrunch my nose up and shake my head. “No, they aren’t.”
“Yeah, they are. And I love it. Not everything about the life you lived growing up was bad. Our two daughters, accompanied by a pissed looking Cody, coming our way are proof of it.”
I sigh and kiss his chin quickly. “You and the girls are the only good that ever came from my riding. Now protect me from your angry best friend.”
He wraps his arms tight around me, resting his chin on my head, a light laugh still bubbling out of him the closer Cody and the girls get. “You’re going to need it,” he says in a whisper. “I think he was looking forward to a night with her.”
His safe embrace is starting to get too warm, too suffocating in the summer heat, but Cody can’t get pissed at me while I’m here. Once I see the tiny boots of our daughters’ feet beside us, I chance a quick look at Cody. He’s glaring, but he’s also smirking, well, trying not to smirk. He wants to be pissed at me. But I don’t think he can.
“Old habits die hard, huh, Allie?” Cody says. “That’s fine, I’ll pay you back. Just like the old days. And this one,” he juts his chin out toward Chase, “won’t be able to protect you.”
“What does Daddy need to protect you from?” Aubrey asks innocently, completely unaware of the childish game I just unwittingly entered into with Cody.
“Your Uncle Cody,” Chase answers for me, chuckling and letting me go.
“Traitor,” I accuse, laughing. “You’re my husband, protector, for better or worse…”
Cody laughs, and the girls look back and forth between the three of us, utterly confused.
“Don’t use our vows against me. I at no point said I’d protect you from the games you always start with our best friend… I stuck myself in the middle once. Exactly once. And we all know how that ended…”
I huff, Cody laughs, and the girls step closer. “We’ll protect you, Mommy,” Ava says, smiling wide.
“Thank you, Sweet Girl.” I squat down and pull the girls to stand in front of me, letting my head pop up between their shoulders. “You wouldn’t dare go through these two,” I say, grinning at Cody.
“Wanna bet?” He crosses his arms over his chest, staying silent momentarily, then winks at me.
What does he have up his sleeve?
“What do you girls say I tell you all about your mama when she was a teen?”
The girls look at each other, and then at Cody, and they nod.
“You should come with me then, we’ll ride some rides, eat all the junk food and sugar we can, and I’ll tell you all about her before I take you back to the hotel tonight.”
“Cody,” I say sternly, giving him warning.
“Can we go with Uncle Cody, Mommy?” Aubrey asks, completely missing the tone of my voice.
“Please, Daddy,” Ava adds, knowing he’d never say no to her spending time with Cody.
I look up at Chase and he’s smirking down at me. He’s going to let them. Of course.
“Yes, you can both go with Cody,” he says easily. Then he looks at Cody, and Cody looks at him, and I swear to God they just had a conversation with that one look. Cody nods slightly and Chase laughs and bends down beside me, looking the girls in the eyes. “You two listen to him. Have fun. Don’t eat too much junk, I don’t want either of you sick tonight.”
“Okay!” they both shout. It’s scary how in sync they can be sometimes. But I love it.
“And don’t force your sister to go on rides she’s afraid of, Ava,” I add. She smiles and nods her head, indicating she understands, but I’m sure Aubrey will be pushed to go on something she doesn’t want to anyway.
“They’ll be good,” Cody pipes in. “You two should try to get to the concert tonight. I’ll keep them until you’re ready for ‘em. It’s not like I have any plans tonight or anything…” He raises his eyebrows and pins me with a look that very directly conveys that’s my fault.
I hug each of the girls and then stand back up. “Thank you, Cody. And I’m…” I should say sorry. I really should, but it’s just not our style. “Glad you have the night free. The girls will love spending some extra time with you.”
“Just couldn’t do it, could ya?” he asks, shaking his head.
“Nope, never.” I smile at him.
“Good. Life would be way too boring if you started apologizing for your behavior now, after all these years. Besides, I’ll have fun telling the girls everything tonight, too. Just remember you started this.”
“You wouldn’t dare…”
“Wouldn’t I?” he teases. “You’re the one who’s being obnoxious and acting like you’re sixteen again, being a giant pain in my ass.”
“You love it,” I toss back as a weak argument, hoping he keeps his mouth shut about the things he should keep to himself.
“Yeah, actually, I think I do,” he says. “Have fun tonight, you two.”
“Thanks, man,” Chase says, then hugs the girls. “You two, have fun, be good, and I love you.”
They each throw their arms around his neck and they each say back, “Love you, too.”
Once Cody and the girls are gone, I turn to Chase and put my hands on my hips. “You don’t think he’ll really tell them everything, do you?”
“No, Allie, he won’t betray you. But Christ, what would it matter if he did? You’re hiding shit that doesn’t need to be hidden. Be proud of the girl you were, the accomplishments you achieved, and how they shaped you into the woman you are now.”
“It’s not that—” My mouth zips shut when he cuts me off.
“It is that easy. You rode rodeo. You were really fucking good. You won junior championships and you probably would’ve been a title holder in the pro ranks, too.” He steps into me, sliding his index finger beneath my chin and tilting it up so I’m looking directly into his eyes. “Just because you resent your father for making you do it, doesn’t mean it was all bad. What you accomplished was all on you. He didn’t make you the great rider you were, that was you. He didn’t pay for your championships. You earned them.”
I open my mouth to speak, but I don’t know what to say. He’s never seemed angry about me keeping that part of my past from the girls, but right now, he does.
“This life is as much a part of you as it is me, Allie. It’s how we met, it’s what brought us closer, and we have a ton of amazing memories at events like this together. It wasn’t a bad life for you. So quit acting like it was.”
“Chase, that’s not… I’m not trying to say it was a bad life.”
“But you are. You act like you don’t know people here because you rode with them. You act like you’re above the lifestyle they chose to live. That I fucking live still.”
“I don’t... I’ve never…. I’ve always supported you riding. You know that.”
“You do, and you don’t.”
He drops his hand from beneath my chin and crosses his arms over his chest defensively.
“What is that supposed to mean, Chase?”
He looks around us, and I do, too. Some people are minding their own businesses while others are staring openly. Catching every word we jab at each other with.
“Not here, we aren’t having this conversation here.” He reaches for my hand and laces h
is fingers through mine. It’s not the gentle, soft touch he used earlier. I can feel the tension in him, it’s rolling off his body in waves, and the firm grip of his fingers, even as he rubs his thumb over mine, gives away how upset he really is.
He’s not hurting me. He’d die before he would ever purposefully hurt me. But he’s firm as he leads us through the crowds and out to the parking lots. We trudge through the stifling heat and dust and make our way to his truck.
He yanks the door open and helps me up into the cab, then circles his way around the front of his truck and climbs in beside me.
“What’s this about, Chase? What brought all of this on? And how dare you say I don’t support you? That’s all I do. Day in and day out.”
He backs out of our spot and pulls out of the lot, turning onto the road and driving.
“Where are we going?”
“I don’t know, okay. We’re just getting away.”
“Okay…” I look out the window, biting the inside of my cheek. Where the hell did all of this come from? I really don’t understand a single bit of it.
“You support me,” he finally breaks the silence after fifteen minutes of just driving. “But you also resent me.”
I what?
“Where the hell are you coming up with that?”
“It’s obvious.” He turns off a main road and down some back road that’s more dirt than road.
“I need you to elaborate on how it’s so obvious that I resent you. Because I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I look over to him, watch his fingers flex over the steering wheel and the veins of his arm pop out due to the force of his grip.
“Talk to me, Chase. Because I’m really fucking confused right now.”
“We’re almost there,” he mutters, but says nothing else after.
Chase
She says she’s confused, and hell, so am I. I don’t know what it was about her being so bent about Cody maybe telling the girls she rode, but it set me off. I am so damn tired of her acting like she didn’t ride. I’m tired of her acting like it wasn’t a huge part of who we were. I’m tired of her acting like rodeo is beneath her. And, fuck, I don’t know. I’m tired of her shunning it because it was so awful for her when it’s all I’ve ever done. If she hates it so much she can’t talk about it, what does she think about me riding?
Hold on Tight (Cowboys & Angels Book 1) Page 12
