Then the ambulance pulled away, leaving Joseph to answer the many questions of Silas and Rhonda’s friends. He waited for Anne to appear, but she didn’t come out of the house. When the last of the curious neighbors departed to spread the word of what was going on, Joseph walked up to the house, looking for Anne. Inside, he found her huddled in a rocker with her arms clasped around her knees, sobbing.
Chapter Fourteen
“Don’t cry. Please don’t cry, Anne. You did everything you could.”
The sound of Joseph’s voice penetrated Anne’s sorrow. She opened her eyes to see him kneeling in front of her. Through the blur of her tears, she saw the concern etched on his face. How could she tell him the tears weren’t for Rhonda and her baby but for a baby boy, stillborn and laid to rest years ago? They were tears she had kept at bay for fifteen long years, but today’s events brought back every bitter, sad memory of that time in sharp detail. It was exactly what had happened to Anne, but her mother had never called for the ambulance.
Anne tried to but couldn’t speak. She reached out and laid her palm against Joseph’s face. He cupped his hand over hers and held it tight.
“We should go home now,” he said softly. “Are you ready?”
Her hiccuping sobs slowed. Finally, she nodded.
Joseph helped her to her feet and kept one arm around her. She cherished his strength. Although she was used to standing alone, today she needed someone to lean on. She needed him.
He helped her into the buggy after scooting Leah over to make room so that Anne could sit beside him. She should have objected, but she didn’t. She was emotionally spent. The comfort of Joseph’s touch meant more to her than proper behavior.
Picking up the reins, he set the horse in motion. Anne kept her eyes closed as she leaned against him.
“Is there any hope for Rhonda’s babe?” he asked a short time later.
Sighing, Anne sat up. Immediately, she missed the warmth of his body. “The baby’s heartbeat improved when they put the oxygen mask on Rhonda. I imagine the doctor will do an emergency C-section when they reach the hospital. If Gott wills it, the child will live.”
“I’m relieved to hear that. From the force of your weeping, I thought the babe had perished.”
She wanted to tell him about her baby, but shame kept her silent. It was a shame she had hidden for many years. Only her mother and the maiden aunt Anne had stayed with in Ohio knew about her unwed pregnancy. Anne had been seventeen at the time. Seventeen, headstrong and in love. As it turned out, she couldn’t marry the Englisch boy she adored. He hadn’t loved her. He hadn’t wanted to be a father. He’d urged her to give the baby up for adoption. Her mother had thought it would be best, too.
Brokenhearted, she had agreed to give her baby to a childless Amish couple in her aunt’s church. She’d never imagined she would have to give him back to God. A single question haunted her still. If she had been brave enough to keep her son, would God have allowed it?
Joseph watched her closely. She wouldn’t share her story, not even with him. “I was just overwrought. I keep thinking I must have missed something. I didn’t foresee Rhonda having any problems. I was frightened, but I tried not to let them see that. I’m sorry I fell apart.”
“Are you better now?”
“I am. I’m fine.” She scrubbed her face with her hands to erase the signs of her tears and sniffed once.
“You don’t seem fine.” He pulled her close again.
Laying her head on his shoulder, she relaxed in his embrace. Did he know how wonderful it felt to be cared for? Did he have any idea how firmly he was planting himself in her heart?
It was time to admit she was falling for this man. She understood he offered the kindness of a friend, but the feelings swirling through her were more than friendship. Unless she was very careful, she would find herself in love with another man who didn’t love her in return.
She sat up straight, determined to put their relationship back on proper footing. “We should stop and let Naomi know what has happened.”
“That’s a goot idea. You can explain why we were driving out together this morning, too. Naomi will put a stop to any gossip about us if you fill her in on the details.”
“You might be right about that. What about the Yoders’ bishop? Should we tell him what’s going on?”
“A number of neighbors came by when the ambulance was there. I’m sure he already knows.”
Anne had to chuckle. “There’s nothing quite as fast and efficient as the Amish telegraph.”
And sometimes completely inaccurate, as in the case of their “kiss.” Casting a quick glance his way, she wondered, What would it be like to kiss him?
It was best not to think such thoughts. She lifted Leah’s infant carrier to her lap, scooted away from Joseph and placed the baby between them. They remained quiet for the rest of the trip. The streets of Honeysuckle were empty, so Anne didn’t have to face any of her friends again. For that she was thankful. She knew her blotchy, tear-streaked face wouldn’t go unnoticed.
Joseph turned the horse into Naomi’s driveway and stopped in front of her house. Her fourteen-year-old daughter, Abigail, was sweeping the front steps. She smiled brightly. “Wee gayt’s.”
Anne stepped out of the buggy. “Good day to you, too, Abigail. Is your mudder about?”
“Ja, koom in.” Abigail’s eyes filled with concern. Anne knew she must look a sight with her red eyes and blotchy cheeks.
“I’ll only be a minute.” She glanced at Joseph.
He nodded. “I’ll wait here.”
She followed Abigail inside and found Naomi at her quilting rack. Naomi smiled. “Anne, I wasn’t expecting you. Come in. Pick up a needle. Child, have you been crying?”
“I’m afraid I bring you some unhappy news.”
Concern furrowed Naomi’s brow. “What is it?”
“I saw Rhonda today. I’ve sent her to the hospital. Her baby wasn’t doing well.”
“Oh, my poor child. I must go at once to see what I can do.” She slipped her needle into the fabric and got up.
“I thought you would want to know right away. Can you get word to Silas’s family?”
“I can. Danki, Anne. It was good of you to stop. Would you like a cup of tea or coffee? I’ll have Abigail fix something.”
“Nay, I can’t stay. My mare came up lame this morning and Joseph was kind enough to drive me to see Rhonda. He and Silas went to school together. I’ve already kept Joseph from his work long enough. I must go.”
“Thank you again for stopping. Please tell Joseph I’m grateful for his kindness to you.”
“I will.”
Anne left the house knowing she had done all she could to quiet the gossip about Joseph and herself and to let Rhonda’s family know what was happening. Joseph held out a hand to help her into the buggy. He had Leah in his arms. She was crying.
“I’ll take her,” Anne said, letting him have free hands to drive.
“I couldn’t find another bottle.”
“I only packed one. I thought we’d be home long before this.” She cuddled Leah close. The baby stopped crying and grabbed the ribbon of Anne’s kapp. She pulled the material to her mouth and gurgled happily.
Anne smiled at her. If she was in danger of falling for Joseph, she had already gone over that cliff with Leah. It would be impossible not to love such a sweet child. Anne kissed the baby’s hand. Leah was becoming as dear to her as her own babe would have been. Why had Fannie chosen to give her baby away? Anne wanted to know. She wanted to understand.
Yet forgiveness did not require understanding. She forgave Fannie and prayed that Joseph had forgiven her, too.
* * *
Joseph kept a close eye on Anne as they traveled home. It was distressing to see her so sad and not b
e able to help her. He could believe she was upset by Rhonda’s emergency, but he didn’t believe that was all that was troubling her. There was something else. Something she didn’t want to share with him. He noticed that she held Leah close, stroking her face, holding her hand, kissing her tiny fingers. It was as if only Leah could give Anne the solace she needed.
He drove her up to the front door of her home. She remained seated, as if she didn’t want to be parted from the baby. “Anne, could I ask you a favor?”
“Of course.” She glanced at him. There were still traces of tears on her cheeks.
“I’m going to be working late tonight. I have to take apart all my milking lines and replace some of the O-rings. I’ve noticed that I have less suction than I should. I’m just not sure where the trouble is. Would you keep Leah overnight for me? I know that’s not our usual arrangement.”
Anne stared at him intently. A tender smile appeared on her face. “You are a good friend to me, Joseph Lapp.”
He didn’t mind that she saw through his ruse. He would work late. One of his O-rings did need replacing. It wouldn’t hurt him to catch up on his paperwork, either. “You are a good friend to me, too. Can you keep her?”
Anne kissed the baby’s cheek. “Of course I will.”
“Danki.” He leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on Anne’s cheek. Her eyes widened, but she didn’t pull away. He tried to tell himself it was a gesture of friendly comfort, but he realized he was only lying to himself. He had come to care deeply about Anne. Much more deeply than he should care about someone who was simply his neighbor.
She placed Leah in her basket. He got out and lifted her down. He set the baby on the ground and reached for Anne. His hands easily spanned her waist. She rested her hand slightly on his shoulders as he lowered her to the ground. She gazed up at him with wide eyes. It took a strong act of willpower not to kiss her again.
He reluctantly stepped away. Anne picked up the baby carrier and walked up her steps. At the door, she turned to look back at him. “Thank you again for everything you did today.”
He tried to make light of it. “It is my Christian duty to help my neighbor.”
“This neighbor is grateful that she lives next door to a kind and caring man.”
“Even if he is a goat farmer?”
That brought a little smile to her lips. “Ja, even if he is a goat farmer. With poor fences.”
“I can see my welcome is just about worn through. I’ll talk to you tomorrow morning.” He tipped his hat and led his horse toward the gate between their properties. As he closed it behind the buggy, he noticed the hinge was loose and the wire was starting to sag. If she believed him to be a kind and caring neighbor, then he had better start living up to her expectations.
* * *
Anne fed Leah and put her down in a small playpen Joseph had provided her from the donated items at his place. As soon as she was done, she sat down in the kitchen and pulled out her cell phone. She hesitated but finally dialed the number to the obstetrical unit at their local hospital. Anne was relieved when her friend Roxann answered the phone. Roxann was a nurse-midwife who taught classes for the Amish midwives in the area. Anne had learned a lot from Roxann and valued her as a friend.
“Hallo, Roxann. This is Anne Stoltzfus. I’m calling to check on my patient Rhonda Yoder. She was brought in by ambulance this morning. Can you give me an update?”
“Let me check to make sure she has signed a release to give you information, Anne. You know how picky the HIPAA laws are. Yes, it’s here on her chart. I’m happy to say that mother and baby boy are both doing well. We did a crash C-section for low heart tones as soon as she arrived. The baby had the cord wrapped around his neck three times. He was very fortunate that you saw his mother today. The proud papa has been singing your praises to everyone who will listen.”
Ann clapped a hand to her chest as relief brought tears to her eyes again. Thank You, God, for sparing this woman and child.
She had prepared herself to hear the worst. Instead, she was overcome with gratitude and joy. “I’m so thankful. Gott es goot.”
“I don’t speak Deitsch, but I get your meaning, Anne. Our new obstetrician was impressed with the medical records you sent along with the EMS staff and your handling of the patient. You did exactly the right thing. He’s one of those doctors who think Amish midwives don’t know how to read or write, let alone deliver babies.”
“Was there anything in my records that I missed? Should I have known this might be a problem?” The day had shaken her belief in her calling. Was she meant to be a midwife?
“A nuchal cord doesn’t normally have warning signs until the baby drops lower in the birth canal and the cord gets tight. You didn’t miss anything. You did good getting Rhonda into a position that took pressure off the cord and in sending her to the hospital as soon as you discovered there was a problem.”
It made Anne feel better that she hadn’t missed something, but her spirits remained low. What about the next time a mother had problems? Would she be skilled enough to handle it?
“Rhonda and her baby should be dismissed in about three days,” Roxann said.
“I will follow up with them as soon as they get home.”
“Thanks for making our direct-entry midwife program look good. We still have some resistance in the medical community, but you and I both know home births are every bit as safe as a hospital birth. If they weren’t, there wouldn’t be so many Amish babies in Pennsylvania. Rhonda was the exception to the rule, but a sharp midwife knows when to call for help. You are a sharp midwife, Anne.”
“It was in Gottes hands. I only did what I have been trained to do. I appreciate the information, Roxann. Call me if anything changes.”
“I will. How many of your mothers are due in November?”
“Only two in November now, but four in January.”
“You’re going to be busy. Have a happy Thanksgiving, if I don’t talk to you before then.”
Anne closed her phone and tucked it into her case. Now that the crisis was over, she felt weak as a kitten. She fixed herself a cup of tea and went to sit in the rocker in her office. She stayed there for an hour watching Leah sleep. In her heart, Anne knew Rhonda would be doing the same thing. She would be watching her baby slumber and giving thanks to God for His mercy.
She wasn’t surprised when Joseph showed up as daylight was fading. Leah was awake. Anne was holding her and reading her a story. He stepped into her office and pulled off his hat. “Have you heard anything?”
“They had to do a C-section but mother and baby are fine. I should have come to tell you that. I’m sorry.”
Relief filled his eyes. “Gott es goot.”
“Ja, Gott is good. He showed us all His power and His mercy today. Would you like some supper?”
“Nay, I’ve eaten. I don’t want to intrude on your evening. I just wanted to know how things turned out. You look better.”
“Was I haggish before?”
His gaze softened and he shook his head. “Only tired and worried looking. I doubt you could look haggish if you tried.”
“That is sweet of you to say.” Her grumpy neighbor wasn’t so grumpy, after all. She was coming to depend on him, on his kindness and his insight.
A flush crept up his neck and he ducked his head to avoid her gaze. “It’s the truth, that’s all. Would you like me to take Leah home?”
She gazed at the baby on her lap. Leah was grasping at the colorful pictures on the pages of the children’s book. “If you don’t mind, I would like to keep her with me.”
It was sad to admit, but she needed company tonight. She didn’t want to be alone. Even if there was only a baby to fill that role.
Joseph crouched down beside them. “I don’t mind missing her three a.m. feeding. You can keep her overnight anytime
you wish.”
Leah grew excited at the sight of him. He gave her his finger to hold. She immediately pulled it to her mouth. He looked at Anne. “Don’t worry. I washed my hands after I milked my goats.”
“I should hope so. Why don’t you pull up a chair and listen to this story. I think you’ll enjoy it.”
“Is it about goats?” He pulled a chair over and sat down. He offered his finger to Leah again and she grabbed it.
“It’s about a little girl who has lost her puppy. Leah likes it.” At least, she liked the pictures.
“She would like it better if it was a story about goats.”
Anne struggled not to smile. “When she is at your home, you can read to her from your Goat World magazine. When she is here, she is going to learn that there is more to life than goats and milking machines.”
“And you think a story about a puppy will do that?”
“This is about a very naughty, adventuresome puppy who learns that home is the best place of all.”
“Okay. As long as there is a good moral, I guess she can hear the story even if it doesn’t have a goat in it. Start at the beginning. I don’t want to miss anything.”
Anne smiled and turned back to the first page. She put more animation in her voice as she retold the tale. Several times she caught him chuckling at the story. A month ago she never would have imagined that her neighbor had an adorable sense of humor or that his laugh could make her warm all over.
It was nice having him to keep her company. It was wonderful to see the affection in his eyes as he played peekaboo with Leah while she read. Having him there felt comfortable. It felt right. It felt like they were a family.
They weren’t. She knew that. But just for a little while, it was wonderful to pretend they were the family in the book, rejoicing over the return of their missing puppy. Was that so wrong? Or was she setting herself up for heartbreak?
Chapter Fifteen
Dora Stoltzfus stood at Anne’s side while she weighed Dora’s baby boy at his checkup. He was Dora’s first child. She and her husband had been nervous wrecks during the pregnancy, calling Anne out several times on false alarms. Always late at night. But as a new mother, Dora was proving to be a natural. Her husband, Wayne, was a distant cousin of Anne’s. It had been his mother who’d written to Anne asking her to consider moving to the area after the community’s last midwife passed away.
The Amish Midwife (The Amish Bachelors 2; Lancaster Courtships 3) Page 13
