Anne reached for Joseph’s hand. He gave her fingers a quick squeeze. Soon they would be joined as husband and wife. She wanted the man with stormy eyes to be hers alone and it was about to happen. Her heart soared with excitement and happiness as they followed the bishop into the main room and returned to their places.
The singing continued, punctuated by sermons from the ministers, for almost three hours. Anne tried to keep her mind on what was being said, but she could only think about the coming days and nights when she would become a true wife to Joseph.
Finally, Bishop Andy stood to address the congregation. “Brothers and sisters, we are gathered here in Christ’s name for a solemn purpose. Joseph Lapp and Anne Stoltzfus are about to make irrevocable vows. This is a most serious step and not to be taken lightly, for it is a lifelong commitment to love and cherish one another.”
As the bishop continued at length, Anne glanced at Joseph. He was sitting up straight, listening to every word. He didn’t look the least bit nervous. The bishop motioned for Anne and Joseph to come forward.
As Anne stood before him with Joseph at her side, she knew the questions that would be asked of her.
Looking at them both, the bishop said, “Do you confess and believe God has ordained marriage to be a union between one man and one woman? And do you believe that you are approaching this marriage in accordance with His wishes and in the way you have been taught?”
She and Joseph both answered, “Yes.”
Turning to Joseph, the bishop asked, “Do you believe, brother, that God has provided this woman as a marriage partner for you?”
“I do believe it.” Joseph smiled at her and her heart beat faster.
The bishop then turned to her. “Do you believe, sister, that God has provided this man as a marriage partner for you?”
“I do.”
“Joseph, do you also promise Anne that you will care for her in sickness or bodily weakness as befits a Christian husband? Do you promise you will love, forgive and be patient with her until God separates you by death?”
“I do so promise,” Joseph answered solemnly.
The bishop asked Anne the same questions. She focused on Joseph. He was waiting for her answer, too. Taking a deep breath, she nodded. “I promise.”
The bishop took her hand, placed it in Joseph’s hand and covered their fingers with his own. “The God of Abraham, of Isaac and of Jacob be with you. May He bestow His blessings richly upon you through Jesus Christ, amen.”
That was it. They were man and wife.
A final prayer ended the ceremony and the festivities began. The couple returned to Anne’s home, where the women of the congregation began preparing the wedding meal in the kitchen. The men had arranged tables in a U shape around the walls of the living room.
In the corner of the room facing the front door, the honored place, the eck, meaning the corner table, was quickly set up for the wedding party.
* * *
He was married. It was hard to wrap his mind around the fact. When the table was ready, Joseph took his place with his groomsmen seated to his right. Anne was ushered in and took her seat at his left-hand side. It symbolized the place she would occupy in his buggy and in his life. A helpmate, always at his side. Her cheeks were rosy red and her eyes sparkled with happiness. There would be a long day of celebration and feasting, but tonight would come, and she would be his alone. Could he make her happy? Under the table, he squeezed her hand. She gave him a shy smile in return.
Joseph released Anne’s hand and began to speak to the people who filed past. The single men were arranged along the table to his right and the single women were arranged along the tables to Anne’s left. Later, at the evening meal, the unmarried people would be paired up according to the bride and groom’s choosing, as Amish weddings were where matchmaking often got started.
Although most Amish wedding feasts went on until long after dark, Joseph still had a dairy to run and goats to milk. He and Anne bid their guests good night before dark and walked toward his home. He carried Leah, who was worn out and sleeping after such a long day.
His heart filled with trepidation as he glanced at the woman beside him. She was not just his neighbor. She was now Mrs. Joseph Lapp. His wife. His helpmate, until death did part them. His soul mate for eternity. Had he done the right thing in convincing her to marry him?
He believed so. Together they would build a good life together. She would be a loving mother to Leah. He would do his best to be a good husband to her and show her just how much he cared for her. The thought made him smile.
Anne gripped his hand. “What are you smiling about?”
“What are you smiling about?” he countered.
Her smile trembled. “I asked you first.”
“I was thinking about adding another milking parlor in the barn.” He glanced to see if she was buying his story.
“Why would we need another milking parlor?” She looked at him askew.
“So you can have your own herd to milk.”
“Me? I’ve no wish to have my own herd. Yours is trouble enough.”
“After all this time, you still don’t like my goats? Maybe we should have discussed this before the wedding.” He wanted to see her smiling a bright smile, not this scared, timid one.
“The young ones are cute. The does are sweet natured, but I will never be fond of those smelly bucks.”
“Not even Chester?”
“Especially not Chester. If you wish to give me a bridal gift, you can give Chester away.”
He laughed out loud. She wasn’t going to be a boring wife, that was for certain. He saw her relax.
A growing nervousness suddenly replaced his humor. Would he be a good husband? Could he make her happy? Could he give her children? Could he grow old beside her and still care for her?
He prayed that he could do all within his power to make her happy. She had married him for Leah’s sake, but he prayed she would grow to love him in time. Even just a little.
As they walked through the gate, he saw a car parked in front of the house. He didn’t recognize it. “Anne, do you know them? Are they some of your Englisch friends?”
“I don’t think so, but it could be someone from the hospital in Lancaster. I sent several of the obstetrical nurses there an invitation.”
“There’s no one in the car. They must be making themselves at home.”
He smiled at her. “Did I tell you what a pretty bride you made?”
She blushed a charming shade of pink and took the baby from him. “Nay, you didn’t mention it.”
“I reckon I had a lot on my mind.”
She gave him a saucy grin. “Like how to bolt before the knot was tied?”
“I can honestly say that never crossed my mind.”
At the sound of the door opening, Joseph glanced toward the house. Fannie came running out. “Leah! Oh, my beautiful baby! I thought I would never see you again.” She pulled the child from Anne’s arms.
Chapter Twenty
Anne stood frozen with shock. This was her nightmare come to life. She held the baby in her arms, ready to love her for a lifetime, and then the child was torn away from her.
Was this Fannie? Leah’s mother? She looked to Joseph for confirmation.
He looked as stunned as she was. “Fannie, what are you doing here?”
So it was his sister. Anne saw her dreams of a lifetime with Leah and Joseph crumble to dust.
Fannie looked at her brother with a trembling smile. “I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t stay away from her. I tried. I tried so hard. But it’s okay. I can take care of her now.” She gestured to a young man standing behind her. “This is Brian. He wants us to be a family. He knows I need my baby to make me happy.”
Anne wrapped her arms tightly across
her middle to ease the crippling ache. She wanted to snatch Leah back. She wanted to take her and run far away. What right did Fannie have to show up and expect Joseph to give the child back to her?
“Don’t do this, Fannie.” His voice wavered. His hands were shaking. Anne took hold of one. She needed something solid to hold on to or she would scream.
Fannie tipped her head to the side. “Don’t do what, Joe?”
“Don’t take her away from us.”
Taking a step back, Fannie held Leah tightly. The baby started to cry. “She’s my daughter. I need her. I wanted you to look after her for a little while. That’s what I told you.”
“Your letter said you weren’t coming back. I didn’t want to believe it, but then you sent another letter telling me I would never hear from you again. She is ours now, Fannie. This is my wife, Anne. We love Leah. Please don’t do this to us. Don’t take her away.”
“I’m sorry. I was mixed up. I didn’t know what to do.”
The man she called Brian stepped up and put an arm around her shoulders. “Johnny was a real piece of work. He broke her wrist. He even shook the baby. Fannie gave her baby to you to protect her. Now she’s safe. They are both safe with me. I’m gonna take care of them.”
Fannie looked at him. “Johnny didn’t mean to hurt me. It was just that Leah cried all the time. She wouldn’t stop.”
“She was allergic to her formula,” Anne said. “That’s why she cried so much. She has to have goat’s milk now.”
Brian sneered. “Goat’s milk? Who ever heard of that? We’ll take her to a pediatrician. There are all kinds of formulas out there. There has to be something better than goat’s milk.”
“There’s nothing wrong with it, Brian. I grew up drinking it.” Fannie tried to comfort Leah, but the baby only cried louder.
“You didn’t know any better because you belonged to a backward religious group who thinks we should all live in the Dark Ages.”
“No, we don’t,” Anne countered.
“Whatever. We should get going, Fannie. Can’t you make her stop crying?”
Anne pressed her hands to her heart. It was over. She was losing another beloved child. Why was God doing this to her? She could feel her heart withering inside her. Why wasn’t Joseph doing something to stop it? She glanced at his face. His gray eyes were blank. His face looked as if it had been turned to stone except for the tracks of his tears. She had never seen such pain.
Leah continued to cry. Anne needed to help her. “She’s just hungry. I will get a bottle for her. Come inside, everyone. Fannie, you can feed her while I pack her things.”
“We don’t need your cheap homemade stuff,” Brian said. “I can buy her whatever she needs in a real store.”
Fannie turned pleading eyes to him. “Let me feed her, and then we’ll go. She’ll sleep in the car the whole way if she gets something to eat first.”
“All right, but don’t let these hicks talk you into leaving her. You’re easily persuaded to make the wrong choices. That’s why I’m here for you. To be your backbone.”
“I won’t let them change my mind.”
Anne forgave Brian for his insults but she wanted to shake Fannie. What was she doing with such a man? Why was she letting him insult her family? Anne turned to Joseph. “Come inside. Visit with your sister for a while.”
“I don’t have a sister. She is dead to me.”
“Brooder, do not say that. Please!” Fannie reached for him.
Joseph jerked away from her and walked out to the barn.
“Speak English, honey. This is America. Is that the shunning thing the Amish do?” Brian asked.
Fannie’s eyes filled with tears. “He didn’t mean that. I know he didn’t mean that.”
Anne took her by the elbow and led her inside Joseph’s house. Brian paused in the doorway. “I’ll wait in the car.”
Fannie sat down at the kitchen table. “Did I hear Joseph right? Did he say you are his wife?”
“Ja.” Anne forced herself to go through the motions of warming a bottle for Leah one last time. She began filling up a pan with hot water.
“That’s good. He needs somebody. It has to be lonely out here all by himself.”
She took a bottle from the refrigerator and placed it in the pan. “Your brother was lonely. He missed you very much. He has his animals—you know how much he likes them—but he loves you.”
She turned to face Fannie. Leah was arching away from her mother and reaching for Anne. Anne bit her lip so hard she tasted blood. How could this be happening?
“Joseph did his duty by raising me, but he never really loved me.”
“How can you say that?”
“He was always gone. He left me alone all the time. It was my fault Beth was killed. I made her trade places with me so I could sit beside him. I loved my brother. I was jealous of her.”
“Joseph didn’t blame you, Fannie. He was gone so much because he was trying to save this farm. The driver who hit you threated to sue and take the farm if Joseph didn’t pay for the damages to his vehicle. Joseph believed the accident was his fault.”
“I didn’t know that. Why didn’t he tell me?”
“You were a child. He didn’t want to worry you.” Anne checked the bottle’s temperature by shaking a few drops on her wrist. It was warm enough. She handed the bottle to Fannie, although she longed to hold Leah once more.
“Danki. I mean, thanks. Brian doesn’t like it when I speak Deitsch.”
“Are you sure he is the man for you? He doesn’t speak kindly to you. It makes me worry. We are sisters now. We must look out for each other.”
“Brian doesn’t hit me. But I’m not very bright. I’m not educated. That frustrates him.”
Anne couldn’t believe she was sending Leah into such a poor situation. How could she bear knowing her beautiful child would be raised by that unkind man?
Fannie gave Leah her bottle. After fighting it briefly, the baby latched on and drank eagerly. “Wow, she really likes the goat’s milk. She would never eat like this for me. I felt like such a failure as a mother.”
Anne sat beside her and laid a hand on her arm. “It wasn’t anything you did, Fannie. Eventually, your doctor would have figured out what was wrong.”
“Johnny never let me take her to the doctor. He said they were a waste of time and money.”
“Johnny doesn’t sound like a very smart man.”
Fannie chuckled. “He wasn’t and he wasn’t a good musician, either.”
“Where are you staying? I would love to keep in touch. Find out how Leah is doing, you know. We wanted to send you an invitation to the wedding, but your letters didn’t have a return address.”
“I would have liked to come. I’m not sure Brian will let me write to you. Besides, Joseph says I’m dead to him. He won’t read my letters, even if I write.”
“I’ll read them. You haven’t been shunned by the church. You aren’t under the Ban. Can you at least tell me which city you live in?”
“Lancaster.”
“That’s not too far away. I have a friend there. Let me give you her name.” Anne found a piece of paper. Quickly, she wrote Roxann’s name and phone number. “Roxann Shield works at Lancaster Medical Center. She’s a midwife like I am, only she’s a nurse-midwife. If you ever need medical advice or if Leah gets sick, Roxann will see you free of charge.”
Anne knew Roxann wouldn’t be able to do that, but she would forward the bill to Anne.
“That’s nice. Thanks. Leah, you little piglet, you’re almost done with this bottle.”
Tears pricked the back of Anne’s eyes. Slow down, baby. When you’re done, I may never see you again.
She cleared her throat and began gathering items to put in Leah’s bag. “I’m going to put a few thi
ngs in here for her. Diapers and such. I know you’ll buy new clothes, but this will get you home. I’ll put in the recipe for her formula, too. You can buy goat’s milk in most stores. In case you can’t find another formula that works.”
Brian appeared in the doorway. “I’m getting tired of waiting. How long does it take two Amish women to feed a baby?”
“She’s done.” Fannie jumped to her feet.
Anne closed her eyes. This couldn’t happen. “Please don’t take her. We’ll give her the best possible home. We love her.”
“I love her, too. I’ve got to go.” Fannie started out the door.
Anne switched to Deitsch. “Little sister, you will always have a home with us, even if you remain Englisch. You are loved by us and by God. Never forget that. Do not fear to come to us.”
Brian frowned. “What is she jabbering about?”
“She’s just wishing me a safe journey. It’s a tradition. Let’s go.”
Anne’s heart broke into a million pieces. She followed them to the door, praying for Fannie to change her mind. Praying for God to intervene and stop her. But they got in the car and drove away.
She wanted to scream and cry, but a strange calm settled over her. It was as if some part of her mind disconnected from her emotions. She became dead inside. The pain was too deep for tears.
She turned back into the house, then went to the bedroom she would share with Joseph and took off her wedding dress. Carefully, she folded it away. She would wear it again only when her body was dressed for her burial. She put on one of her everyday dresses that had been brought over by her attendants and then she sat down on the sofa in Joseph’s living room and waited for him to come in.
At midnight she gave up trying to stay awake and went to bed. When she woke just before dawn, she was still alone.
* * *
Joseph raised his head and rubbed his stiff neck. He’d slept slumped over his desk in his office. He hadn’t actually slept. The night had been more a series of fitful rest, terrifying dreams and an even more terrible reality. He had tried to pray, but he found no comfort in speaking to God. God wasn’t listening.
The Amish Midwife (The Amish Bachelors 2; Lancaster Courtships 3) Page 18
