by Ray Garton
The Lazy Z Ranch Motel was once painted a chocolate-brown with mint-green trim, but the paint is all faded and peeling now. The doors of most of the bungalows were open and people were sitting outside in the shade of their small covered porches. Cars were parked in front of some of them, all old cars, mostly banged up and gnarly-looking. I didn’t know which bungalow Phyllis was in, so I went up to this hugely fat old woman with no teeth seated outside her bungalow reading a tabloid and asked for Phyllis Kettering.
“Oh, Phyl’th jutht down the way there in number five,” the woman said.
Phyllis had her door open and The Jerry Springer Show (what could be more appropriate?) was playing loudly on a small black-and-white TV with rabbit-ears. She sat in a chair just inside with her back to me, smoking a cigarette. She jittered and fidgeted as she watched the television. She wore the same red halter top and jeans she’d worn when she came to see me. Her legs were propped up on the round table beneath the front window, her feet, in sandals, just a few inches from the television. She had an iced drink on the table near a half-full bottle of whiskey. A swag lamp hung over the table. I knocked on the doorjamb and said, “Hello.”
She jolted out of the chair and turned on me so suddenly, I thought she was going to attack me, and I took a step back.
“Baby!” she gasped. “You came to see me!” She dropped her cigarette into the ashtray on the table, rushed forward, and threw her arms around me. She smelled of liquor. For a second, I thought she was going to pick me up off the ground, but she didn’t have the strength in her to do that. As she hung onto me and I embraced her in return, all I felt were bones.
With my head on her shoulder, I looked around the small, dingy room and all the air was sucked out of my lungs for a few seconds. It was the same room the thing in Maddy had shown me. The same room I’d seen Phyllis die in – the same chair and table, the same bed, the same lamp, the same ratty brown carpet.
Phyllis pushed me back and looked into my eyes for several seconds. It was the longest she’d done that in ... well, as long as I can remember. “You gonna come meet my friends? C’mon.”
She put her arm around my shoulders and led me out of the bungalow, down to the fat old woman I’d talked to on the way in.
“Miriam, I want you to meet my handsome boy,” Phyllis said. “Ain’t he a handsome fella?”
“Why, he sure ith,” Miriam said with a toothless grin. “I wondered when I theen him if he wath yourth.”
“Oh, c’mon, c’mon, you gotta meet Gus.” She took me across the small courtyard. In the center of it stood an old fountain swallowed up by ivy. Gus’s door was open and Phyllis walked me right in without knocking. Gus was a scrawny guy with buck teeth who sat on the edge of his bed, smoking and drinking a bottle of beer. He wore a tanktop and baggy tan shorts. His arms and legs were blue with tattoos. When Phyllis introduced me, he stood and shook my hand. He was missing a couple fingers.
“Gladda meetcha, Ryan,” he said, and his breath reeked of beer. He swayed a bit as he stood in front of me. “Your mom’s good people, Ryan, real good people.”
Next, she took me to meet Glynnis, a young woman in shorts and a T-shirt whose bungalow smelled of marijuana. Glynnis didn’t say much, just laughed quietly and nodded a lot.
Then Phyllis took me back to her bungalow, saying, “I got cookies in my room, and some juice. Would you like to have some cookies and juice with me?”
As she walked beside me, her arm across my shoulders, she seemed to bounce along to a beat only she could hear. Back in her room, she pushed me down in the chair and went to the tiny kitchenette. There was a small green refrigerator on the counter and she opened it and removed a bottle of grapejuice, got a couple glasses from the cupboard, and poured. She took a package of Chips Ahoy cookies from the cupboard and put them on the table by my chair. She handed me the juice, then sat on the edge of the bed facing me.
“Oh, I’m so happy you came t’see me, honey,” she said. “Did you ride your bike over?” She took a drink of her juice, then set it down on the floor.
“No, Marie brought me. She’s waiting in her car.”
“She didn’t have to wait.”
“She wanted to. I think so we could be alone.”
“Well, that was nice of her. You’ll have to take her some cookies.” She crossed her right leg over her left and her right foot bounced up and down.
I felt very uncomfortable being in the room. I had a dizzying sense of deja vu. She was sitting on the same bed she would die on soon.
“Look, um ... Mom.” I hadn’t called her Mom since I was a little kid, and it felt odd coming out of my mouth. “When you came to see me, you said you were clean.”
“I am. I been clean. Sixteen days, clean as a whistle. Well, ‘cept for drinkin’, I been drinkin’ a little, but no drugs.”
“Well, I’m not sure I believe you. But if you are, you’ve got to stay that way. Do you hear me?”
“Well, sure, honey.”
“No, I mean this, it’s important.” I leaned forward in the chair and put an elbow on the table. “You can’t do anymore drugs, because if you do, it’s going to kill you. Do you understand?”
She got up and went to the table, got her cigarette from the ashtray. It had gone out, so she picked up her Zippo and relit it. She took the ashtray to the bed with her. She dragged on the cigarette and blew the smoke out hard as she sat down on the edge of the bed again. Her expression hardened.
“Zat why you come over here?” she said. “To preach at me?”
“No, I’m not preaching. I’m just worried about you, is all.”
“Look, I know I gotta problem. Okay? But I’m dealin’ with it. I go to my meetings.”
I smiled. “That’s good! That’s great! Just keep it up, that’s all I’m saying. I’m just worried about what’ll happen to you if you ... you know, if you ... relapse.”
“Well, I ain’t gonna relapse, dammit.”
“Okay.”
“I don’t need you comin’ over here tellin’ me about the dangers a drugs, dammit.”
“Okay. I didn’t mean to – “
”You think you’re tellin’ me somethin’ I don’t know?”
“No, I was – “
“Get out.”
“No, wait, Mom, please, I just wanted to – “
”You heard me. Get out.”
“No, I don’t want to – “
”I give you juice and cookies and you start in on me like some kinda fuckin’ preacher.”
“Please don’t do this.”
She stood up and waved toward the open door. “Get out. Now.”
My throat burned and tears stung my eyes. Where had I gone wrong? How had this gone so bad so suddenly? I stood and stepped toward her.
“Please, Mom, I just wanted to see you – “
”You just wanted to come over and preach at me. Well, take it somewheres else, ‘cause I don’t fuckin’ need it.”
“Can’t we just – “
”Go, I said!” she shouted through clenched teeth. “Get out, dammit!” Her eyes were wide and her face trembled.
I backed away from her.
“Go!”
I turned and left the room. As I walked away, I heard her still talking.
“I don’t need nobody preachin’ t’me about the dangers of fuckin’ drugs, ‘specially some teenage punk.”
I looked back one time, but saw only the open door. She was inside.
I know I won’t see her again. Not alive, anyway. That’s why I went – I wanted to see her one last time. I probably shouldn’t have said anything about the drugs, but I thought if I warned her, I might be able to keep it from happening. Or at least hold it off for awhile longer.
I probably shouldn’t have said anything. But how could I not?
I didn’t speak as Marie drove me back home. I spent the time trying not to cry.
As we were pulling into the driveway, Marie said, “I called Reverend Tomlin on my cellphone while
you were seeing your mother, Ryan. He’s going to come over this evening, after dinner. If you don’t say anything to Hank or the others about it, and I mean not a word, then I’ll try to take you downstairs to Maddy’s room with us. But only if I can do it without Hank noticing, because he’d think that was odd. Okay?”
I nodded. “Okay.”
I’ve got to get ready for work now, but I don’t feel like it. All I can think about is my mother lying in that lonely room, choking to death on her own vomit.
NINE
Reverend Joseph Tomlin was a tall man in his mid-fifties with a narrow, weary face. His wavy dark hair was cut very short and was shot through with streaks of white. He wore small round glasses and a dark blue suit, and he carried a bible bound in rich wine-colored leather under his right arm.
He went into the living room first and talked with Marie and Hank. Everyone was down in the rec room playing games, and they’d invited over some friends from up the street to show off the new stuff in the rec room. Once he saw that they were going to be awhile, Ryan went downstairs, too, and played a couple video games with Gary and Keith. After awhile, he went back upstairs. Marie, Hank, and Reverend Tomlin were still in the living room talking, but the reverend was standing now.
Reverend Tomlin said, “We would love to have you at church sometime, Hank.”
Smiling, Hank stood and said, “Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Reverend, and I mean no offense, but that just ain’t gonna happen. I’m not the church-goin’ type, I’m afraid. Although I wouldn’t mind showing up for a pot luck now and then, I got nothing against good food.”
Ryan went through the living room and dining room to the kitchen and got a drink of water. Then he went down the hall and waited at the top of the basement stairs. In a few minutes, Marie came down the hall with Reverend Tomlin. She introduced Ryan and they shook hands, then they went downstairs. They turned left at the bottom and went to Maddy’s room. Marie knocked a couple times, then pushed it open and said, “Hi, Maddy, honey. You have a visitor.”
She stepped aside and let Tomlin and Ryan come in.
Maddy sat on the floor playing with some of her toys. She got to her feet with a little effort and turned to face them.
“Hello, Ryan,” she said in her normal voice.
“Hi, Maddy,” he said with a smile.
“Maddy, this is Reverend Tomlin from church,” Marie said. “He came to meet you and pray with you. Isn’t that nice?”
Maddy looked at Ryan and a sneer passed over her lips as she rolled her eyes. “Oh, very fucking funny,” she said in the deep, smoky voice.
Tomlin frowned and Marie gasped.
“Maddy!” she said. “We do not talk like that in this house!” She turned to the reverend. “I’m so sorry, Reverend Tomlin. I’ve never heard her use language like that before.”
“Don’t worry about it, Marie, I understand,” he said, patting her shoulder.
Maddy went to her bed and sat on the edge of the mattress.
“Haven’t you told him yet?” Ryan said.
Marie looked at him and shook her head – it was not a response to Ryan’s question, but a signal for him to say no more.
“But he has to know,” Ryan said. He turned to Tomlin. “This girl is possessed, Reverend Tomlin. There’s something inside her that doesn’t belong there, something evil. You just heard it. Didn’t you hear her voice?”
“Oh, please,” the voice said. Maddy leaned back on her arms, elbows locked, and looked the reverend up and down with an expression of disgust on her fat face. “What do you expect me to do now, Ryan, vomit pea soup and talk dirty?”
Tomlin’s chin dropped.
“What are you looking at?” it said to Tomlin. “You take that Bible with you when you go to fuck those lonely wives in your congregation, Reverend? Huh? Yes you do, don’t deny it. You like to read aloud from the Book of Revelation while they suck on your noodle, don’t you?”
Tomlin dropped his Bible as he stumbled backward and slapped a hand over his mouth – his hand actually made a loud smack sound when it hit.
Marie stood with her mouth hanging open. She looked first at Maddy, then turned to Tomlin.
“Your wife didn’t like it,” Maddy went on. “It gave her the creeps to hear you reading from the Bible during sex. But your devoted followers, your lonely housewife groupies, they get off on it, don’t they? They find it so delightfully kinky. And it is, by the way. You know, you’re a bit of a nutcase, Joe, and you’ll probably never be able to afford the amount of therapy you need, but you’re okay by me, because you so beautifully illustrate what I always say, and what I always say is, nobody can get through life following His stupid rules. So why bother trying? In fact, why not go so far as to use your position as one of His representantives to get some nooky. Right, Joe?”
“Oh, my God,” Tomlin said into his hand with a sob.
Maddy looked at Marie, whose jaw was slack as she looked at the reverend.
“How about that, Marie?” she said. “Your beloved Reverend Tomlin, the man you’ve admired so much for so long, is actually diddling several wives in the church. All at the same time, too. To look at him, you wouldn’t think he had it in him, would you? But he’s a very busy minister.”
Marie looked at Tomlin as if he had just personally insulted her.
“Look at me, Marie,” the voice said.
Marie turned her head and looked at Maddy.
“Are you going to put up with that?” it said. “After all the time and effort you’ve put into his church? After the faith and trust you’ve put in him over the years? Only to find out he’s just another huckster lookin’ to get laid? Are you going to take that in stride? Are you going to put up with that?”
Ryan flinched when he heard Marie growl. It was a sound low in her throat and it came out as she turned and pounced on the reverend. With her hands on his throat, her lips peeled back over her clenched teeth in a hideous smile that sent a shudder through Ryan’s shoulders. Tomlin gurgled as she slammed him against the wall and squeezed his throat.
Ryan grabbed her shoulders from behind, pulled her away from the reverend, and got her hands off his throat, but she kept lurching toward him again each time he let go of her. Ryan got in front of her and pushed her across the room until her back was against the dresser. She fought with him. Finally, she groped for his throat. Ryan slapped her hard in the face.
Marie gasped and pulled away from him. Her eyes grew large as realization settled over her face, as she became fully aware of exactly what she had been doing seconds ago. She turned and hurried to Tomlin, who shrank away from her.
“I’m so sorry, Reverend Tomlin,” she said as tears rolled from her eyes. “I wasn’t – that wasn’t me.”
Tomlin nodded as he gently rubbed his throat. “I believe you, Marie. This is clearly some kind of – “
”Let me show you something, Reverend Tomlin,” the voice said.
Tomlin stood up straight at the foot of the bed and all the color disappeared from his face as a grey pallor moved in. The features of his face began to pull backward, into an expression of fear – a fear so great, it was obviously painful to him, because there was pain in his eyes, Ryan could see it. In a trembling falsetto voice, he said, “Oh my God oh my God oh my God oh my God,” and his voice got louder as he raised an arm in defense, until he was screaming the three words over and over.
The reverend fell silent and collapsed to the floor.
“Oh, no,” Marie said as she got on her knees beside him. She felt his neck for a pulse. She looked up at Ryan and said, “I know CPR. You go call 911 and get an ambulance here fast.”
Ryan left the bedroom. The noise level in the rec room was so high – sounds from the video games, the television with the volume up, voices talking and laughing – that no one had heard Tomlin in Maddy’s bedroom. Ryan hurried upstairs and used the kitchen phone to call 911. When he was done, he went back downstairs to Maddy’s room. Marie vigorously performed CPR on To
mlin.
Maddy remained seated on the edge of her bed. With a quiet chuckle, the voice said, “How was I supposed to know he had a heart condition? I mean, really, with all the women he’s shtupping, how can he have a heart condition, right?”
“Damn you,” Ryan muttered.
“Oh, don’t get self-righteous with me, you pusillanimous little punk,” the voice said. “Don’t worry, your turn is coming. You saw that expression on the reverend’s face just before he went down? You’ll look that way in the end, too, Ryan, you wait and see.”
Ryan felt an icy cold wash over him in the same way it did when he opened the refrigerator and stepped forward to browse the shelves. It made his skin feel tight on his body.
“You really thought you could rope some Sunday-morning pulpit jockey into exorcising me, Ryan?” the voice said. “Bring them on. Bring your priests and your rabbis, bring on your best. Bring them all on at once. They’ll be so busy fighting over who gets to exorcise me and how, they won’t pay any attention to me. Even if they did, though, they would all fail, Ryan, because they’re weak, and I’m very strong. I am healthy and vibrant. I flourish, Ryan. This is my time. And – “ The voice laughed. “ – there’s not a damned thing you can do about it.”
* * * *
At one-thirty in the morning, Ryan and Lyssa met in the upstairs hall and went down to the rec room. They didn’t turn on any lights and used only Ryan’s penlight for illumination. In the basement, they curled up on the couch in the dark and Ryan turned on the TV. He found an old black-and-white monster movie – a giant reptilian monster rampaged through a city, stomping buildings and cars and crowds of people with stop-motion jerkiness. Ryan and Lyssa cuddled as they watched the movie. They didn’t talk for awhile. It was as if they were both afraid of what they would talk about.
Marie and Hank had fought after the ambulance left with Reverend Tomlin. Hank had been upset that Marie had taken him downstairs to see Maddy. Marie had replied, “Just because we’re supposed to keep the girl isolated don’t mean she doesn’t deserve to be prayed over by a minister of God, does it?” And Hank had said, “Yes, it does, because Dr. Sempris specifically said she didn’t want Maddy to interact with anyone, dammit!” It had gone on like that for awhile.
