Josh waved his hand in dismissal. “My mom would never notice one missing shirt. Her walk-in closet is bigger than some people’s houses. Her jeans might be a little big on you, but it’s better than being soaked.”
Josh filled up a teakettle and flipped on the gas before running up to his mother’s room. He picked through the closet until he found a sweater and a pair of jeans that didn’t look too matronly. He checked his reflection four times in the mirror before going back downstairs. He noticed he looked a little pale and drawn. He tried to ignore the incessant pounding in his head. He didn’t want a stupid migraine to ruin his night with Rosa.
“There’s a bathroom over there where you can change,” Josh said when came back into the foyer with his mother’s clothes in hand.
“Thanks.”
They were both blushing now. Rosa cast down he eyes as she retreated behind the closed door of the powder room and Josh smiled to himself. He headed toward the living room, but he had only taken a few steps when he felt the room start to tilt and spin. His head felt like it was going to explode. He stumbled over to the couch, and put his head in hands, trying to will the thumping away. The codeine weren’t helping very much anymore. Maybe he needed to ask his parents for a stronger dose.
“Are you all right, Josh?”
Josh hadn’t heard Rosa coming into the living room. She sure had changed quickly. His mother’s clothes were about two sizes too big for her, but she had managed to keep the pants up with the help of the belt that came with them. She still looked amazing. She was staring at him with honest concern, but again Josh felt embarrassed. The last thing he wanted was for her to think he was some whiny baby. He tried to play it off.
“Sure,” he said, and gave her a weak smile. “I’m fine.” He inadvertently flinched when she sat down beside him and jostled the couch, sending a fresh wave of agony through his temples.
Rosa narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously. “Josh, I do believe I just caught you in an outright lie.”
“What? Did my nose just get bigger?”
He tried to laugh, but it must have looked more like a grimace because Rosa didn’t smile back. Instead, she shifted her weight, and took Josh completely by surprise when she put her hands on his shoulders, and without a word, started to gently knead his tight muscles. Josh closed his eyes, and felt his body almost instantly relax as her hands maneuvered gracefully along his body. She moved her hands down from his neck to his shoulders, pressing all the right spots. Then she worked her way back up to his temples, massaging them lightly, and making gentle circling motions with her fingertips. When Josh finally opened his eyes, she was sitting only centimeters away from him.
In that perfect moment, their eyes met and locked. Her hands fell from his forehead and landed lightly on his shoulders. He reached up and pushed a loose strand of hair out of her eyes. They both leaned in a little closer. He could feel her sweet, warm breath against his skin. Josh felt his lips part—he was so close.
And then a high-pitched whistle screeched from the kitchen, startling them both. Rosa jumped back in surprise, and dropped her hands from Josh’s shoulders. He tried to reach for her again, but the spell had been broken. She cleared her throat and refused to make eye contact. Her face was very nearly crimson. In the background, the kettle continued to whistle obnoxiously. He knew he should have just heated the water in the microwave.
“I guess you should go get the water before you burn your house down,” Rosa said, still avoiding his eyes. She reached for her soggy back pack, pulled her chemistry textbook out, and flipped through the pages.
“Yeah, I guess.” Josh replied. “Rosa?”
“Yes?” She lifted her brown eyes to meet his gaze, and he could see her cheeks were still flushed.
“Nothing. Never mind.” Josh looked down at his sneakers. “I’ll go make the hot chocolate.”
She nodded and went back her textbook while Josh skulked into the kitchen. He muttered under his breath as he emptied the chocolate and marshmallow mix into a couple of mugs. He was such a moron. He had the perfect opportunity to ask her out, and he had blown it. He had chickened out. What was wrong with him? He had never been so nervous about asking a girl out before. He figured it had to be because he was really in love this time.
Everything with Rosa was different. He could still feel the ghost of her fingers running along his neck. That girl had magic in her fingertips. His headache was almost completely gone. Of course, the codeine might have finally kicked in. Either way, he was feeling better and a little more confident when he walked back into the living room carrying two steaming mugs of hot chocolate, complete with marshmallows and whipped cream. Josh handed Rosa a mug. She sipped it gingerly before setting it down on a coaster on the coffee table.
“We should get started,” she instructed. “We have a lot of work to do tonight.”
“I’ll never pass,” Josh said sullenly as he took a sip of his own hot chocolate. It was a little too sweet for his taste. He put it down next to Rosa’s cup, but didn’t bother to use a coaster.
“Do you doubt my tutoring abilities?” Rosa asked in mock offense. “Let me assure you, Mr. Hanover, you will receive at least a B on this test on Friday. My reputation depends on it.”
“I certainly wouldn’t want to be the one to tarnish your reputation.”
After that, they got down to business. Rosa had found the page she was looking for in her book, and she started going over the formulas that would be on the next exam. After a while, they took a break to sip their hot chocolate. Neither of them spoke for a few minutes, and an awkward silence surrounded them.
Josh cleared his throat. “I broke up with Elena today,” he announced casually, never looking up from his mug.
“Really?” If she was glad to hear about the break-up, she quickly covered it up with nonchalance. “I thought you were a cute couple. I’m sorry to hear it didn’t work out.”
“Don’t be. I never really cared about her.” Rosa raised an eyebrow, and he realized that wasn’t the best way to phrase it. “I mean . . . you know, she’s kind of a snob.”
“I can’t argue with you there,” Rosa replied with a small frown. “I’ve never liked Elena very much. I guess even you don’t deserve to be stuck with her.”
“Thanks a lot,” Josh said sarcastically. “It’s good to know you care.”
She gave him a playful nudge. “Come on, we have to get back to work. Seriously.”
Josh saluted. “Yes, ma’am!”
They studied for almost another hour. They went over formula weights, atomic numbers, and moles. Rosa really knew her stuff. Things were actually starting to make sense. But all the reading was making Josh’s head start to ache again. Rosa noticed him rubbing his eyes, and stopped talking about zinc in midsentence.
“You get headaches a lot, huh? Migraines?”
Josh nodded, and even that small motion was excruciating. “You’d think I’d be used to them by now. It’s been going on for years.” He sighed, and gave her a sheepish look. “Would you mind rubbing my neck again? It really helped a lot.”
She cast down her eyes shyly, but still agreed. “Okay.”
Josh was tempted to lay his head on her shoulder as she moved closer to him again, but he refrained. She seemed nervous. Her face was bright red again. Her fingers moved gracefully and deftly along his neck, but her eyes never left her notebook.
“Why did you break up with Elena?” she asked suddenly.
Josh shrugged his shoulders, even as Rosa’s hands glided along them. “It just wasn’t working out. Besides, I like someone else. I like someone else a lot.”
“Oh.” Her hands instantly fell away from his neck. She slammed her textbook closed, and shoved it roughly into her book bag along with her soggy clothes. “You know, you’ve got this stuff down. You won’t have any problem with the test. And I should really get going. I don’t want to miss the last bus.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. You don’t need to worry about catching
the bus. I’ll drive you home,” he told her.
“You don’t need to do that.” Rosa stood and grabbed her jacket from the coat rack. “The bus is fine.”
“Rosa, wait! Please, don’t go yet.”
Josh was surprised by the abrupt change in her mood, and feeling more than a little stung by her cold tone. He wasn’t ready for her to go. He stood from the couch and walked to her side. He gently pushed her arm away from the door just as she was about to turn the handle, and took her hand in his own. She offered no complaints as he lifted his other hand to touch her cheek. He stroked her long hair, and wished he could loosen the heavy braid and run his fingers through the soft waves.
“You have such beautiful hair,” he whispered as he breathed in her fresh, clean scent. “You’re beautiful. . . .”
Josh felt her tense body begin to relax as he stroked her back. He lifted her chin, and for the first time, touched her lips with his own. It was brief, hardly a light brush, yet the kiss made his heart flutter with anticipation of something more. Those brief seconds were blissful. A simple kiss had never meant so much, but before Josh could truly savor the moment, Rosa pulled away.
“What’s wrong, Rosa?” Josh asked. He reached out for her hand. She quickly snapped it out of his grasp, but not before he noticed that her fingers were trembling.
“Nothing’s wrong. I just need to get home,” she told him in a soft whisper. “I told you I don’t want to miss the bus.”
“And I told you I’d drive you,” he insisted. “Come on, Rosa, what’s really wrong?”
Rosa was silent for what seemed like an eternity. She stared at the hardwood floor and refused to look him in the eyes. Josh couldn’t wait any longer for a reply. He tried again to reach out to touch her arm, but she jerked it away violently.
“Why does there have to be something wrong with me?” Rosa finally met his gaze, and Josh knew with certainty that she was struggling to hold back tears, though he had no idea what he had done to upset her. “I guess you don’t think any sane girl could pass you up just because you’re cute and have money. Well, your fancy car and pretty smile don’t mean a thing to me. You aren’t going to use me and then drop me as soon as someone like Elena bats her eyelashes at you! I have more common sense than that. I’m not going to let myself fall for a jerk like you!”
Josh felt like he had been slapped in the face. “R-Rosa,” he managed to stutter. “I . . . I thought we were friends.”
“You assume an awful lot, don’t you, Josh? You assume every girl wants you. You assume you’re irresistible to women. Well, this time you assumed wrong. I don’t want anything to do with you. So just get over yourself!”
“Rosa, please—”
“I’m leaving now,” she interrupted. “Leave me alone!”
She gathered her backpack and umbrella from the porch. Josh didn’t try to stop her this time when she stalked out the door. He was too shocked, too hurt to do or say anything. Only after she disappeared around the corner did he regret letting her go alone to the bus stop. At least it had stopped raining. He didn’t have to worry about her getting drenched again.
On his way back to the living room, he noticed her wet sweater had fallen onto the floor. He picked it up and hung it over the chair to dry. He wondered if he would have the courage to give it back to her. Maybe he should just hold on to it, as a memento of what almost was but probably never would be.
Josh groaned as he sauntered up the steps to his bedroom. It had been a long, miserable day, and he longed to rest his pounding head against a soft pillow. He wanted to go to sleep and forget the whole night had ever happened. Rosa hated him. She had obviously hated him all along, but was just too nice to say so. She was never going to give him a chance now. And Josh had no one to blame but himself. He had given himself the reputation of a player who never stayed with one girl for long. Well, now he was paying for all the hearts he had broken. He was paying big time.
Josh was just pulling off his sweatshirt and jeans and was getting ready to crawl into bed when he heard a light buzzing sound. He reached out for his back pack and managed to pull out the vibrating cell phone just before the call went into the voicemail system. He didn’t bother to check the caller ID before answering.
“Hello?” he said through half a yawn.
“Hi Josh,” a meek voice whispered back. “It’s me. Lily.”
Lily Cavalier, one of Josh’s two remaining girlfriends. He could almost visualize her sitting on the other end of the line, playing with the ends of her honey colored hair. She was a sweet little thing, and Josh honestly liked her. But he knew he had to end the relationship. Whether he won over Rosa or not, Josh wasn’t going to use girls like Lily anymore.
“Hey, Lily. What’s up?”
“Not much,” she replied. “I was just wondering what you were doing this weekend. I haven’t seen you in over a week.” There was a long pause. “I miss you.”
“Lily, I don’t think I’ll be able to see you this weekend,” Josh said flatly.
Even through the phone he could hear her soft sigh. “You’re dumping me, aren’t you?”
Josh was surprised at her perceptiveness. Maybe she was smarter than he had given her credit for. Or maybe he had been showing a lack of interest for some time.
“I wish you wouldn’t put in that way,” Josh told her. “I’m not really dumping you. You’re a really great girl, and I like you a lot. But—”
“But there’s someone else,” Lily interrupted. “It’s okay, Josh. You can say it. I’m not going to yell at you or say mean things. I still care about you way too much to do that.”
“I never meant to hurt you, Lily. I’m sorry if I did.” Josh could hear her crying through the phone. It made him feel awful. He knew he was every bit the jerk Rosa thought he was.
“Don’t be sorry, Josh. I understand. I really do.” She sniffed. “I hope we can still be friends.”
“I’d like that,” Josh said honestly.
“Good. Well then, I guess I should let you go get some sleep. I’ll see you around?”
“Sure. Later, Lily.”
“Goodbye, Josh.”
Josh closed his cell phone and set it down on his desk. He felt guilty and angry, and he felt like an all-around schmuck. Why was Lily so understanding? Why didn’t she yell and scream the way Elena and Nadine had? Then he wouldn’t have felt so bad. Somehow, Lily’s sad acceptance was much more stinging than any of the things the others girls had said.
Josh picked up the two remaining photos of Lily and Jasmine. He flipped his cell phone open and pulled up Jazz’s number, determined to get everything over with in one day. Unfortunately, the call went into voicemail after three rings, and Josh hung up without leaving a message. After giving them one final glance, Josh ripped the pictures of Jasmine and Lily in half and added them to the wastebasket along with already torn photos of Elena and Nadine. As the paper fluttered into the trashcan, Josh made a solemn vow to never date another girl again unless he really cared about her.
Chapter 4
“So,” Andrea said, joining Josh at the breakfast table. She picked up his glass and guzzled half of his orange juice in one long sip. “Who was that girl who showed up here last night? For a second there, I thought it was Dolly Parton with a new wig.”
Josh was always happy when Andrea showed up to keep him company in the mornings. His parents were both working double shifts at the hospital, as usual. They rarely shared a meal together. Josh didn’t know what it was like to come down the stairs to a warm breakfast. He was lucky if his mother remembered to go to the grocery store at all. They gave him a generous allowance, so most of his meals were spent in diners and fast food restaurants. But he had rolled out of bed pretty late that morning and there wasn’t enough time for a pit stop at the mini mart. He settled for a bagel and a glass of juice.
“That was Nadine,” Josh told Andrea, and filled her in on the visit. “She’s transferring to Clearview, effective immediately.”
&nbs
p; “Wow!” Andrea exclaimed. “That sucks. Elena is bound to find out about her now. And vice versa.”
“I don’t care if they find out about each other,” Josh said moodily. “I don’t care about anything, let alone Nadine and Elena.”
He tore into his bagel, and slammed down his glass. He was miserable. He was still depressed about Rosa, and his headache was no better than it had been the night before. He seriously considered cutting school all together, but knew he would go crazy if he stayed home alone. Besides, it was the first day of wrestling practice, and Josh was hoping to be named captain. He couldn’t miss that announcement. He had worked too hard to earn his place on the team.
“I take it from your lousy attitude that things didn’t go well with Rosa?” Andrea observed.
“It was a total train wreck,” Josh admitted. He went over all the gory details after a lot of encouragement and prying.
“I wouldn’t take it too hard,” Andrea consoled. “I don’t think Rosa meant what she said. It sounds like she really likes you. She’s just too scared to admit it. You should give it another shot. I bet if you show her you’re really serious about her, she’ll react differently.”
“Do you really think so?”
“I really do.” Andrea stood from the table to pour her own glass of orange juice. “And what’s the worst that could happen? Another rejection?”
Josh shuddered at the possibility, but he pushed the pessimistic thought away. “All right, I think I will talk to her again. She left her sweater here last night. That will give me a good excuse.”
“Her sweater?” Andrea exclaimed, wide-eyed. “Did you forget to tell me something? Like when the two of you started to take off your clothes? Are you sure her panties aren’t stuffed in the couch?”
“Jeez, Andy, get your mind out of the gutter. She got wet in the rain and I gave her some of my mom’s clothes. She changed in the bathroom.”
“Sure she changed in the bathroom,” Andrea said with exaggerated sarcasm. “I believe that one! You would never allow a girl to undress in front of you. What was I thinking?”
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