by C. R. Jane
I grimace, thinking of the “exclusive” crowd that had shown up at the last one.
“Not a fan, darlin’?” he remarks upon seeing my face, and I shake my head.
“Why do you even invite me?” I ask, teasing. “There’s no difference between me and any of the other scholarship students. I’m sure that there are some amazingly talented people in the group, way better than me.”
He looks lost for a moment and finally, he just shrugs. “I’m not sure what it is. There’s just something there,” he remarks as if that’s answer enough.
I just roll my eyes, a bitter taste in my mouth at how Nyx could feel comfortable putting himself on a high horse even after everything he had admitted to me.
I look down at my watch. “We better head back. Class will be starting soon.”
I didn’t know what to think after this conversation. I’d gotten insight into Nyx yes, but the guy that I uncovered is kind of a mess.
He surprises me by slinging an arm around my waist as we began to walk back. Unbidden shivers run down my back at his touch. He leans in close to my neck and seems to smell me. I look at him, confused. “What are you doing?” I ask with a laugh.
“I think you’re my favorite smell in the world,” he admits shockingly. I watch as his eyes seem to dilate as if he’s getting high off my scent. I elbow him in the gut, shaking him out of whatever weird reverie he’s just gone into. “You’re kind of weird,” I tell him.
“But you like me anyway, don’t you?” he says with another of his sexy winks.
I actually do, and I don’t know what that says about me. I take another sip of my somehow still hot chocolate to avoid answering, but he just smiles at me knowingly.
“So why did you seem so hesitant when I first asked you about the camping trip?” he questions as we get to the side entrance of the school.
I chew on my lip, not wanting to admit such a stupid thing.
He nudges my shoulder. “Come on Jones, I told you one of my biggest secrets. You can tell me something.”
I blush. “It’s dumb. But I got a notice that I had to get a physical to be able to go on the camping trip.” I think for a moment. “Didn’t you get one too?” I ask, as I realize I just assumed it was a prerequisite for everyone.
He shifts for a second as if my question has caught him off guard. His eyes light up after a second, like he’s just thought of something. “It’s only your first year that you have to get it. I’ve been here since forever, so I had mine done a while ago.”
“Oh ok,” I answer, thinking that his explanation makes sense. The comment makes me think of that weird yearbook upstairs in the library though. And how Nyx wasn’t in that picture. Just how long has he been here for?
“So, you were saying that you got the notice for the physical, but you didn’t say why that made you nervous...” Nyx continues to push.
A rush of images floods my mind. All the needles and doctors, my mom crying over the bills, my dad throwing up so much that he would pass out on the bathroom floor. I shiver.
Nyx sees my movement and frowns. Suddenly I find myself wrapped in his arms, his touch sending sparks all over my body, pushing out the cold that the memories brought. My cheek is pressed against his chest, so I can’t look into his intense eyes. It’s easier to talk about this when I can’t look him in the eye.
For a second, I wonder what I’m doing. I still didn’t know Nyx, not really. I just knew that he was best friends with the assholes of the school and was probably by all accounts an asshole himself. It shouldn’t mean anything that he would tell me that story about where he came from, who he really was. After all, who was going to believe me if I did try to tell someone? Nyx was untouchable.
Despite all of those thoughts I did find myself somehow feeling closer to him. I did find myself wanting to tell him one of my deepest fears, if only to get it out. I had spent the last few years bottling everything inside of me. My parents had no idea what my dad’s sickness had done to me, what the bullying at school had made me think about doing to myself, what Connor’s rejection of me had made me feel. They had no idea what it had felt like for them to so eagerly send me to this school without listening to my opinions on the subject. It would be nice just to tell someone about something I actually thought for once instead of holding it all in.
“I’m scared of doctors,” I begin cautiously. I flinch when Nyx’s hand comes and softly strokes my hair, but then I relax into his touch. “And not just doctors, everything about the medical field. I’m scared of the needles and thermometers. The smell of a doctor’s office makes me want to throw up or pass out. The thought of latex gloves makes me want to cry. I hate it all,” I whisper.
Nyx stills at my confession. “Why?” he asks in a voice that’s much gruffer than usual. I break away from him at his question and kick the ground with my shoe, scattering pebbles and dirt in all directions.
“My dad’s been sick. Cancer apparently. He’s been treated for a few years, but nothing seemed to be working...and then we ran out of money,” I pause and take a hiccupping breath, feeling strangely free to be telling all of this to someone who is practically a stranger. “That’s why I’m here really, because the school for some reason offered to pay for his medical treatment if I attended.”
“The school is paying for his medical treatment?” Nyx asks in a strangely urgent voice. I look up at him, surprised at his tone. His face is scrunched up with worry and concern.
“Is that way out of the ordinary?” I ask, even though really, I know the answer to that. Of course it’s weird that a prep school would offer to pay for my dad’s cancer treatment in order for me to attend. There should have been blaring signs for my parents that something was off about that, but somehow, they still didn’t think twice about it.
I take a deep breath, knowing that it doesn’t help anything for me to get upset about that once again.
“I’ve heard of the school doing things like that before,” Nyx says, staring off into the distance. “There’s a sophomore who got the school to pay for her parent’s mortgage in order for her to attend here.”
He’s lying again. Why is he lying?
He pulls out his phone and looks at it. “We need to get to class. We don’t want to be late,” he says as if he’s in a hurry even though he hasn’t seemed interested in being on time to class up to this point.
He walks with me inside for only one hallway before he tells me that his class is a different direction than I’m walking. It hasn’t escaped my notice that he suddenly seems frantic to get away from me. He walks away after saying he will see me later, leaving me standing there confused, still holding the thermos of hot chocolate and wearing his coat.
I shake my head and head to class. It’s obvious that I’m never going to understand the four of them, and honestly, it’s just another reason for me to stay away from them.
The day seems to stretch on forever with the physical waiting for me at the end. You would think that it would go by faster since I was dreading it so much, but it seems the Fates want to prolong my misery as much as possible. I couldn’t tell you what any of my classes talked about, that’s how sick I was about my appointment.
Mercy tries to cheer me up at lunch. “I saw Connor watching you today in class,” she squeals, like that’s something I’m supposed to be happy about. “It’s only a matter of time before you guys get-it-on,” she says, waving her fingers in the air excitedly.
“Ya,” I answer absentmindedly, not really paying attention to what she’s saying at all.
“So, you’re finally admitting it?” she says smugly.
I look up at her, dazed. “Admitting what?” I ask stupidly.
She frowns at me and takes a big sip of her Diet Coke. “Ok, what’s wrong with you?” she asks me. “You haven’t been listening to anything that I’ve been saying. It’s kind of rude.”
“Just have a lot on my mind, I guess. Sorry,” I say, pushing my food around my plate with my fork. I haven’t be
en able to touch any of it. And also, aren’t you supposed to fast before a physical? I couldn’t remember if the paper had said something about that. The last thing I wanted to do was have to repeat the physical because they weren’t able to perform some required test today.
“I saw you this morning,” Mercy suddenly blurts out, fidgeting with the tab on the top of her can.
“Saw me?” I ask lamely.
“Walking into the woods with Nyx. Is that what’s wrong with you? Did he do something to you? Don’t you think you’ve learned your lesson when it comes to them yet?”
I groan, really not wanting to get into it with her right now.
“We were just talking,” I say defensively, my inner conscious agreeing that my actions were stupid. Especially after he took off like a bat out of hell at the end.
“What could you possibly have to talk to party boy Nyx about. Where to find the best booze?” she jokes.
For some reason I feel defensive of him. “He’s more than that,” I say. “I don’t think people really know him.”
“And you know him?” she scoffs.
“No, but I know him better now,” I retort, not sure why we’re fighting about this.
She takes a deep breath. “I just don’t want you to get hurt,” she says quietly, all the annoyance out of her voice. “You’ve been pretty messed up.”
“We’ve both been pretty messed up,” I point out, lest she forget how torn up she’s been about her possibly murderous ex-boyfriend that she kept a secret from me.
“Hmmm,” she says non-committedly.
The bell rings at that moment, signaling that lunch is over. We both stand up and I go to empty my still full tray. My eyes flicker to the table where they all sit. Nyx and Finn are both staring at me while Dante and Alexander talk to each other. I quickly avert my eyes, not wanting to make it appear like I was seeking them out. Nyx’s eyes in particular seem to burn through me. Finn’s eyes are darting all over me, like he’s taking notes about my appearance. I feel like a bug under a microscope under their stares.
“I haven’t seen you wear that jacket before,” says Mercy, and I freeze, realizing that I’ve been wearing Nyx’s jacket all day. No wonder they are both staring at me. I probably look like some kind of obsessed groupie still wearing his jacket.
“I haven’t needed a jacket much since I’ve been here,” I say to Mercy, trying to only indirectly lie to her. I’m not sure why I’m so sensitive about talking about them with her. I just am. For a second, I feel like a bad friend until I remember all the secrets that she’s been keeping from me. Maybe there’s a bigger impasse between us than I thought.
Mercy thankfully lets the topic of the jacket...and the guys drop, and we continue on with our day. Despite how slow it’s gone, the time for the physical does eventually catch up to me.
My last class isn’t with Mercy, so I miss out on asking her what to expect at the physical.
It honestly feels like a death march as I walk down the hall to where the nurse’s station is. My skin feels clammy and my muscles feel weak, like I’m coming down with something.
My feet somehow drag me to the front of the nurse’s station, and I find myself standing in front of it. My whole body is shaking and I’m not sure that I can make it in. I feel curious eyes on me as students walk by, I’m sure all of them wondering what the school pariah is doing standing outside the nurse’s station. I’m sure I’ll hear rumors tomorrow about how I needed better birth control or something to keep up with my whoring ways.
I’m just about to give up and head back to my room and just not go on the camping trip, when I feel someone grab my hand. I look to my left, flustered, and see that it’s Nyx. He gives me a broad grin, all traces of his earlier awkwardness gone. Standing next to me is “party-boy Nyx” as Mercy evidently likes to call him, and I find myself absurdly glad to see him.
“I thought you could use a little moral support,” he says. “Although I’m not sure how moral I am,” he laughs, wiggling his eyebrows lecherously at me. A laugh squeaks out of me despite my panic and I squeeze his hand.
He nods towards the door to the nurse’s office. “Shall we do this?” he asks. I take a deep breath and nod. “And just so you know, I’m hoping to see you in one of those sexy hospital gowns the doctor always seems to make people wear in payment for this.”
Another laugh chokes out of me and I find myself really liking Nyx.
Nyx walks to the door and holds it open for me. I take another steadying breath and walk through the gates. Somehow it feels like one of the bravest things that I’ve ever done.
I clearly have issues.
The nurse’s office smells just how I feared, that bland mix of antiseptic and latex. It makes me want to gag, but I swallow it down.
I can do this. Nyx grabs my hand and gives it a squeeze, and immediately my body begins to relax.
The nurse, a stunning brunette with silver eyes and skin the color of ivory comes in from the back office. Because of course the staff at this school can’t be anything but good looking. Her eyes flick to Nyx and then to where our hands are still joined, but she doesn’t say anything.
“Adeline Jones?” she asks, and I nod, finding it hard to speak. My fear must be obvious because her face gentles. “Let me guess, you’re not big into needles,” she asks.
“It’s kind of the whole process,” I answer with a gulp. She nods as if that’s perfectly reasonable.
“Ok, well this shouldn’t take too long. Why don’t you take this hospital gown and go change behind that curtain,” she says, handing me a shapeless gray gown and pointing to a white curtained off section in the corner of the room. She looks back at Nyx and then turns to me again. “Are you sure you’re alright with him staying in here?”
I know it looks weird that I’m going to be in a hospital gown around him but the thought of him leaving me all alone in here makes me feel faint. I just will need to remember to keep the back of my gown closed so I don’t accidentally flash him. I may like him, but I’m not quite ready for him to see me in nothing but a bra and thong quite yet…
“I’d like him to stay if that’s alright,” I say softly.
“I’m her boyfriend,” Nyx says, surprising me and the nurse apparently because she lets out a little gasp. My feelings are ridiculously hurt since she’s obviously surprised at the fact that someone who looks like him would deign to be with someone who looks like me. Nyx gives me a wink when the nurse turns to grab something, and I let out a sigh of relief. He’s just joking so he can stay. Because obviously he’s not my boyfriend. Nor would I want him to be...right?
I quickly go behind the curtain and change into my gown, not sure why it feels so intimate to be getting undressed behind a thin curtain knowing that Nyx is just a few feet away.
When I pop back out, I blush furiously as Nyx trails his eyes slowly up my body from my bare feet to my windswept hair. His eyes heat up as they dance across my skin and I feel painfully exposed. I’m also wishing Hottie McNurse wasn’t in the room with us right now.
She clears her throat when she sees us looking at one another. “Let’s start with getting your weight and height,” she says, and I tell myself it’s just my imagination that she has a somewhat sadistic glint in her eye. If she thinks I’m going to be embarrassed about getting weighed in front of Nyx, she has another thing coming. There’s a lot more differences between Nyx and I then the fact that he’s built like a Greek Adonis and I’m just regular.
She makes sure to call out my weight and height though, solidifying that although this nurse may be an adult...she hasn’t gotten out of the mean girl stage quite yet. We get through an eye sight test, a hearing test, and a reflex test and I’m starting to get more comfortable. It helps that Nyx pulls a chair up so he’s nearby at all times.
All my steady feelings disappear however when she pulls out a few vials and a long needle and says that she’ll have to take my blood next.
“We’ll just take a few samples,” she s
ays casually, but I can see that weird little glint in her eye again. Nyx sits up, looking a bit nervous.
“Is that necessary?” he asks.
“Why, Nyx? Scared of a little blood?” she asks almost mockingly, and now I’m not thinking about the fact that I’m about to get my blood drawn. I’m thinking about the fact that the way she said his name was familiar...almost intimate in fact. Also...why do I feel jealous all of a sudden?
He glares at her so fiercely that I see her take a step back.
I have so many questions.
She shuts her mouth after that and pulls up the sleeve of my gown, cleaning the site where she’s going to insert the needle. Images of my dad getting poke after poke fill my head and I give an involuntary shiver.
She looks at me sternly. “Try not to make any sudden movements when I actually have the needle in my hand, ok? I would hate to hit an artery instead of a vein.”
Great, now I have another thing in my head to worry about.
She leans in close to insert the needle before stopping suddenly. Her head leans closer to me and it almost seems like she smells me.
What the ever-loving fuck.
I hear a growl and look over at Nyx who has a furious look on his face. I guess at least this physical has been so far out of the ordinary that it’s almost completely made me forget about my fears of medical offices. Because I don’t think stuff like this usually happens in a medical office.
The nurse seems to recover, and she quickly and proficiently inserts the needle, filling three vials of blood in what seems like just a few seconds.
“I’ll just take these into the back and run a few tests. You’re welcome to get dressed and I’ll have the results in just a few minutes.”
I look at her confused. “You’ll have the results back that fast?” I ask, thinking that it usually takes at least hours to get my dad’s blood tests back even at the best hospitals.
She hesitates at my question again and this time I’m quite sure that I’m being kept out of the loop of something. “We have really good equipment at this school thanks to our generous donors and since I don’t have anyone else coming in for a physical today, I can look at your blood right away.”
