A Chance at Love

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A Chance at Love Page 5

by Beverly Jenkins


  He stuttered, “Uh-uh, yes, it is, Miss. Would you like to purchase it?”

  “Yes, I would.”

  “Forty-seven cents, please.”

  Ignoring the two tight-lipped biddies, Loreli handed over her money for the perfume and the hand cream. Green gave her back the change, which she placed in her handbag. “Thank you,” she said.

  “You’re welcome,” he returned, smiling falsely.

  Loreli again shook her head at the hypocrisy in the world, then turned to leave. She’d met many Bert Greens in her day, and would probably meet many more before the Lord called her home, but it didn’t mean she had to like it.

  Her mood immediately brightened at the sight of the twins sauntering into the store.

  “Loreli!” they squealed in unison. They ran to her, wrapping their little arms around her waist and clung to her for all they were worth. A laughing Loreli bent to hug them as well. “How are you?”

  When Jake Reed walked into the store that’s how he found them. Loreli and the girls froze. It was obvious from the tight set of his jaw that he didn’t like the picture they presented. His frigid eyes met Loreli’s. Still holding the girls, she straightened, intending to give him a good piece of her mind if he said one out-of-line word.

  He spoke coolly, “Girls, why don’t you have Mr. Green show you his new hair ribbons. I want to speak to Miss Winters outside.”

  The girls looked up at Loreli with worried eyes, and she reassured them in soft tones, “It’s okay. Go see about those ribbons. Your uncle and I need to talk.”

  The girls turned to go, but not before looking back at their uncle, then again at Loreli.

  Mr. Green came out from behind the counter and said kindly, “Come on with me, girls. Just got a new shipment of pretty new ribbons yesterday.”

  Loreli and Jake faced each other across the floor like gunfighters in the street at high noon. The biddies were openly staring.

  Jake gestured to the door. Loreli stepped outside.

  Hand on her hip, she waited for him to begin.

  “You know the girls are set on you being their mother. You also know you can’t be, so why are you teasing them like this? All this hugging and running into you is not helping them.”

  “They pounced on me like they hadn’t seen me in six years,” Loreli replied coldly. “What was I supposed to do, cuff them and send them on their way?”

  His eyes flashed angrily.

  Loreli told him, “Being mad at me is not going to change how those girls feel.”

  “You can’t be their mother.”

  “Who said I wanted to be?”

  The air between them fairly crackled.

  He made a visible show of calming himself. “Look,” he began—both he and Loreli could see passersby viewing them curiously, but ignored them—“this mother thing is very important to them.”

  Loreli waited. “And?”

  He ran his hands over his hair. “And…I don’t know what the hell to do about it.”

  Loreli went silent for a moment. “At least you’re being honest with yourself. First time?”

  He shot her a quelling look.

  She raised her hands in innocence, “Sorry. Man like you doesn’t impress me as needing to be honest.”

  “Why not?”

  “You’ve got life all figured out. Arrogance, is how I believe Mr. Webster’s dictionary defines it.”

  “And you’re not?”

  “Of course I am. I’m a woman in a man’s world. I have to be arrogant. What’s your excuse?”

  “I’m a Colored man trying to hold on to his land.”

  Impressed, Loreli searched his eyes. “You’re not as thick-headed as I thought, Reed.”

  “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

  “Please do.”

  It was his turn to search her eyes. “Is there anything that scares you?”

  “Sure. Lots of things.”

  “Such as?”

  Loreli paused. He was arrogant enough to believe he had a right to ask something so private, but she was gutsy enough to tell him the truth. “Dying alone. What scares you?”

  “Not raising those girls the way my sister would have wanted them raised.”

  His honesty made Loreli wonder why he’d revealed such a truth to her, a woman he’d known only a few days. On the other hand, she’d revealed a truth about herself and could find no reason as to why. She did know that they’d just exchanged tiny parts of their souls. As a result, something touched her inside, but she wasn’t sure what it was.

  When they glanced up, the twins were standing in the store’s doorway, watching them. Bebe asked, “Can Loreli have supper with us tonight, Uncle Jake?”

  Loreli answered before he could reply, “I can’t, pumpkin. I’ve made other plans.” She hadn’t really, but Jake was right, she needed to distance herself so the girls would stop wishing on her. She didn’t want to analyze how pushing them away made her feel. “So give me a hug. This’ll probably be the last time we see each other. I’ll be heading off to California on Friday.”

  Both girls gave Loreli a hug, and she hugged them in return. When they stepped back, she touched each head lovingly, then stuck out her hand to Jake. “Pleasure meeting you.”

  Her gesture seemed to throw him a bit. There was confusion on his face as he looked first at her outstretched hand and then back up into her sparkling eyes.

  Loreli couldn’t resist teasing him. “Not accustomed to shaking hands with a woman, Reed?”

  His eyes emotionless, he grasped her hand and shook it. “Have a safe trip, Miss Winters.”

  He gently herded the twins back into the store, leaving Loreli to watch their departure wistfully.

  “Uncle Jake, were you mean to Loreli?” Dede asked Jake on the ride back home.

  Surprised by Dede’s uncharacteristic boldness, he glanced her way and replied, “I don’t think so.”

  As if she needed further explanation, Bebe asked him, “Why can’t Loreli be our mama?”

  He didn’t hesitate. “She’s not a proper lady.”

  “Why not?”

  “Well, she’s a gambler for one.”

  Dede asked, “What’s a gambler?”

  “A person who plays cards for a living. That’s not a job a woman should have.”

  Bebe said, “Our teacher, Mr. Hazel, told Aggie the same thing when she said she wanted to be a doctor. He told her that’s not a job a woman’s supposed to have. Is that what you mean, Uncle Jake?”

  Uncle Jake stammered, “Well no, I mean—I don’t know what I mean.”

  Bebe declared, “Well, Aggie’s Auntie Kiss said that that kind of thinking is called prejudice, and that a woman can be anything she wants, ’specially if she’s good at it. Is that true, Uncle Jake?”

  Jake twisted in his own trap. “I suppose it is prejudice in a way, pumpkin.”

  Dede looked surprised. “That’s what Loreli calls us. Are you going to start calling us that too?”

  Jake swallowed hard. Good lord! Where had that come from? Better yet, what was wrong with him? He’d never called the girls by pet names before, ever. He added yet another failing mark to Loreli’s slate. “No. I guess I picked it up being around Loreli today.”

  Smiling, the girls settled back against the seats. They remained silent for the rest of the ride home.

  When he stopped the team beside the house, the girls left the wagon without a word. He remembered how his heart had panged upon hearing Bebe’s brave declaration that they didn’t mind growing up without a mama. Watching them slowly and silently entering the house made the pang return. He was the only one who could give them the thing they wanted most, and he was at his wits end as to how.

  After putting the girls to bed, Jake went out to the barn to check on his overnight patients: a sow that had gorged itself on so much of its owner’s rhubarb it could barely waddle, and a sheepdog who’d tangled with a wolf and lost badly. Upon finding his guests settled in, he walked back around to the fro
nt of the house. It had become his habit to sit on the porch and let the night breeze ease away the worries of the day.

  Tonight, however, he was brought up short by the sight of Bebe seated on the edge of the porch in the moonlight. Her brown ankles were visible beneath the hem of her flannel nightgown as she slowly brushed her toes against the grass.

  Jake joked gently. “Didn’t I put you to bed hours ago?”

  She looked his way and solemnly nodded. “Yes.”

  Concerned he stepped up on the porch. “Not feeling well?”

  “I feel fine. I came out to pray to mama. Aunt Leslie told me that when mothers go to heaven, God makes them into stars so they can look down at night and make sure their children are having good dreams.”

  He smiled softly. Leslie had been a friend of his sister’s who’d taken the girls in for a short time after Bonnie’s death. “Which star is your mother?”

  “Dede and I decided it’s that big one right there, because it’s always in the sky.”

  She was pointing at the North Star. “You may be right, Be.”

  “I miss her, Uncle,” Bebe said softly.

  Her sadness mingled with his own. “We all do.”

  Bebe confessed, “I asked her to ask God to send us another mama. Dede needs one so much….”

  Her honesty cut open Jake’s heart. “Yes she does, doesn’t she?”

  “I don’t think she’d be scared all the time if she had another mama.”

  Bebe turned around to look up at him. Even in the dark Jake could see the plea in her eyes. Dede hadn’t adjusted as Bebe had to the death of their mother. Rebecca Appleby kept insisting Jake force Dede to move on with her life and face the fact that her mother was gone, but Jake had no idea how to force an eight-year-old to do that, nor would he feel comfortable doing so. Everyone dealt with grief in their own way. The loss had left Dede fragile in many respects. Her aversion to horses being one. She also had nightmares. He doubted she’d ever get on a horse of her own free will. He hoped time would eventually cure her, but there were no guarantees.

  Bebe then asked, “Do you think mama will hear me?”

  “I’m sure of it, but now you should head back to bed, Be. It’s late.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  She got up slowly, then gave him a hug. “G’night.”

  He bent and kissed the top of her hair. “Good night. See you in the morning.”

  Alone now, Jake looked up at his sister’s star and said, “Well. Bonnie? I’m still waiting.”

  As if in reply, a shooting star streaked across the sky. Jake’s eyes followed it until it burned out of sight.

  “Thanks,” he said aloud, then to himself, Now if I only knew what it meant.

  Later, lying in bed, Jake realized he had to make a decision. The girls needed a mother and he needed to find them one as soon as possible, not only for their well-being, but for his future as well. He needed to get back to work. Since their arrival he’d had to cut back not only on his delegate duties but his doctoring as well. An offshoot of his political work were his attempts to organize the area’s farmers into a union so as to counteract the heavy-handed tactics of men like the banker Diggs. Thanks to Diggs and his bank policies, most of the farmers in the area were wallowing in debt. Not only did they have exorbitant mortgage payments over their heads, but the large debt was compounded by the additional monies borrowed to buy seed, livestock, and equipment. Jake and a few of the other descendents of Hanks’s founders were fortunate enough to own their land, yet they still felt the pinch at harvest when their hogs and crops went up for sale at prices that barely returned a profit. Jake thought that forming an alliance might help. Farmers and fieldworkers all over the South were organizing into similar cooperative groups, then banning together with unions like the Knights of Labor to demand, among other things, fairer prices for their crops, equal pay for workers in the fields, and a reformation of the way the government handled everything from banks to the distribution of silver. Times were hard for everyone trying to make a living from the land and even more taxing for those in the fields in the South. The Knights of Labor and unions like it were vowing to change things and Jake had been quietly doing his part to make sure the farmers in the colony knew about the Knights’ beliefs. Since the arrival of the girls, however, he’d been unable to be as active in the effort because he no longer had the ability to just pick up and go. One couldn’t leave two eight-year-olds at home alone, no matter how important the call.

  But who could be their mother? As he’d noted before, pickings here were slim. Rebecca had been the only reasonable candidate, but he’d ruled her out. Maybe he could travel to Kansas City or St. Louis to see if he could find someone there to marry. In reality though, trying to saddle a woman of good character who would consent to a hasty courtship and an even hastier marriage would be a difficult task. Many women wanted to take their time and be sure their potential mate was a person of good quality. Jake wanted to throw up his hands, but couldn’t; the girls needed a mother, and he was the only person who could provide them with one. With that admission came an idea he’d been refusing to consider for the past few days because of its absurdity, but, suppose he asked the gambling woman? Jake questioned whether the situation had become that desperate? The answer came back, yes. He was desperate and the girls, too. Maybe if he could get her to agree to stay with them for say, a year, it would give him time to find a real woman to marry.

  He mulled it over some more. If he brought the Winters woman into his household, the gossips would rip him to pieces—but he’d never let the opinions of others color his decisions, and he had no intentions of doing so now. His father had been a minister, had ridden with Captain Montgomery’s Jayhawkers during Kansas’s bloody campaign for statehood, and fought in the Civil War as a member of the famed First Kansas Colored troops. His father’s commitment to justice resulted in Jake growing to adulthood filled with pride and purpose. He’d learned at an early age to do what was right, no matter the sacrifice or consequences, and in this case, the right thing to do for the girls would be to meet with the Winters woman and lay his cards on the table; his own personal feelings about her be damned. Granted he knew nothing at all about her, but the twins had become taken with her and she seemed to have been taken with them as well. Yes, she had a questionable occupation and wore expensive, fancy clothes, but she’d impressed him the day she found the girls at the train station. A less responsible woman wouldn’t have bothered to fetch them back to town nor been able to extract their promise to never do such an outrageous thing again. Rebecca hadn’t been able to get the twins to promise to buckle their shoes.

  Jake’s inner debate continued, but in the end, he knew the choice had to be made. The girls needed someone, now. Yes, he’d much rather offer his proposal to a more traditional woman, but since there were none available, Loreli Winters would have to do. Satisfied with his plan, but wary of the results, Jake punched at his pillow to make it more comfortable, closed his eyes, then slept.

  The next morning, Loreli heard a knock on the door. Pulling her ivory wrapper closed, she tied the satin strings and called, “Yes? Who’s there?”

  “Jake Reed.”

  Loreli paused for a moment. Jake Reed? What could he be after so early in the morning? “What do you want?”

  “I’d like to speak with you.”

  Loreli opened the door only wide enough for her to see out. She didn’t want her attire to give him a case of the vapors.

  Hat in his hand, he asked, “May I come in?”

  He looked so stern, Loreli wondered if he ever smiled. “Have the girls run off again?”

  He shook his head. “They’re with Arthur Gibson and his girls.”

  Loreli stepped back so he could enter. He took a moment to look around the small room, taking in the frilly female attire spilling out of the trunks she was living out of, her paints, powders, and creams on the small vanity table and a brown silk walking-dress lying on the bed, waiting to be donned just
as soon as he stated his business and left.

  “What can I help you with?” she asked.

  Jake could see the outline of her nipples beneath the tightly tied satin wrapper. He moved his eyes to her face. “I want to buy your services.”

  Loreli raised a finely arched eyebrow. “My services? Can you be more specific?”

  “How much will it cost me to buy your services for, say, a year?”

  Loreli looked him up and down. “I’m still a bit confused, Reed. When you say services, what are you meaning?”

  “I want you to be the girls’ mother.”

  Loreli went still.

  In the silence that followed he added, “They need a mother and you’re the only one they want.”

  Loreli spent another silent moment assessing him, then replied, “First of all, you can’t afford me. Secondly, why do you think I’d agree?”

  “Because you’ve probably done everything else in life but this, and you seem to care about them.”

  Loreli thought that true, but…“You don’t even know me.”

  “No, I don’t.”

  “What about your neighbors?”

  “What about them?”

  “The gossip, Reed.”

  He shrugged. “I’ll handle it. Will you agree or not?”

  Loreli sensed his inner struggles. He didn’t look like a man happy with his decision. “You’d rather be making this pitch to someone else, wouldn’t you?”

  Jake didn’t lie. “Yes.”

  “But you’re choosing me instead?”

  He met her eyes. “Yes.”

  Loreli had to give it to him. He was honest. “Why only a year?”

  “It will give me a chance to find a real wife in the meantime.”

  “A real wife,” Loreli echoed skeptically.

  “Yes.”

  Loreli chuckled softly. She didn’t believe this man’s arrogance. “And at the end of this year, then what, I disappear?”

  “I don’t know. I’m just trying to do what’s best now. I’ll worry about the future when it comes.”

  “I see.”

  “So, how much?” he asked.

  “I told you before, you can’t afford me.”

 

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