by Shey Stahl
Rager scowled, never stopping his thrusts, each one shaking my ass in ways I didn’t appreciate. “Am not. I’m being needy. Now give me what I want.”
“You’re awfully demanding for leaving me alone for four days and then demanding I get myself off.”
“You know…” His brow arched, eyes dropping to my ass. “I’m in the perfect position to just stick in it your ass. Care to argue anymore?”
With a defeated sigh, I moved my hand between my legs. “You…don’t fight fair.”
“If you’d just give into me, we wouldn’t be having this argument still.”
Too caught up in the four-day absence, words weren’t needed as both of us chased the much-needed release.
We fell apart together, my cheek against the shower wall, his body curved around mine, curved forward as his hips jerked and an agonized low moan parted his lips.
Twisting my head again, I tried to witness the fall as he shuddered and groaned, spilling inside me.
Breathing heavy, Rager stumbled back, slipping out of me, his back pressed to the side of the shower, face under the spray. The water moved down his body, every muscle tight and toned, still so sexy.
“You’re welcome,” I gleamed, proudly dropping my leg from the bench.
Scrubbing his hands over his face, I saw the grin when his hands fell beside him.
When our eyes met again, he was smiling and looking at my belly. My hands automatically went to it, one on each side. They were moving around, actively squirming.
“You made them mad,” Teasing, I reached for Rager’s hand and placed it on my stomach.
“Why?” His eyes widened, afraid for a moment until a gentle kick thumped against his hand.
He drew in a breath and smiled, with a smug edge. “They know how much I love you; that’s why they’re kicking. They’re high-fiving their daddy.”
Rolling my eyes, I stepped forward, his hand dropping from my stomach in the process. Trying to push the tears aside at the way he said daddy, I wanted to feel his chest against mine. And though it wasn’t easy anymore, it still provided me with the same feeling as it did before. The sense that I had the right guy, the one who loved me, the one I was meant to be with.
LATER THAT NIGHT, finally in bed and wrapped around his body, my tears began to build. I wasn’t usually such an emotional mess, but then again, to me, two babies meant twice the mess in every way possible, including the conflicting emotion raging through me.
What had me crying, this time, was the feeling of Rager’s eyes on my body. I wasn’t comfortable these days and having Rager looking at me like I was the sexiest thing on earth made me feel like he was lying. Or looking through love-lusted eyes that made him oblivious to the fact that I was huge and seven months pregnant with twins.
Everything on me was swollen and stretched.
“You’re beautiful,” he assured me, knowing where my mind was taking this. Of course he knew. He always did, despite what I thought I wanted or needed.
Lifting his left hand to my stomach, his feather-light brush of his knuckles against my heated skin sent shivers through me.
His body hovered over mine, supported by his strong, steady arms. Orange light bathed his olive skin as he leaned in slow, and with a gentleness I’d never seen from him before, placing a kiss on my lips. Raising my hands, they ghosted over his hard shoulders to the back of his neck. I wanted so badly to feel his weight against me, but knew that wasn’t happening for a while.
“You don’t know how long I’ve waited to wrap my arms around you like this, and know that no one else will ever hold you like this again.” Rager breathed as the sun dipped down, bathing the house in an orange glow.
“Well, you can now.”
He sighed against my lips. “I might never let go.”
“I’m kinda hoping you don’t.”
Suddenly, his body stiffened and he drew himself back, his expression sincere, but intense. “What made you think I wouldn’t come back?”
He caught onto my insecurities pretty well. “For so long I strung you along, tormented you. At some point, I think I started wondering, when would enough be enough? When the story was printed, I thought…” I chewed on my lip, my eyes on my trembling hands. “I guess I thought maybe you had enough when I read what you said about the story to the press.”
“You know that was just my initial reaction to them catching me off guard, right?” he asked, his voice low but steady, willing me to believe. “I love you, Arie. You did torment the hell out of me, made me believe you wanted me too when maybe there were times you didn’t. But it doesn’t change the fact that I let that happen. I could have walked away. I kept coming back. And I always will.” He spoke with such honesty I had to believe him. I did believe him. Not because I had to, but because I did.
Hairpin Turn – A bend in the racing coarse with an acute inner angle.
“HEY.” DAVE NODDED to me as we sat around the table in the conference room in late January. “Since you’re with her now, you gonna smile this year?”
Tapping my pen against the table, just to annoy Casten who had a headache, I glared at Dave.
“No,” Willie answered for me. “He’s having twins.”
“He’s not,” Tommy pointed out. “Arie is.”
The guys started laughing around the large oval table placed in the center of the room. Gray walls dimmed the bright winter glare off the snow outside. Feeling a chill rake through me at the cold, it felt strange to think in less than a month we’d be back to racing. I held some anxiety for returning to racing, only because now that I was going to be a father, I finally understood how Axel could have walked away from racing last year. Or tried to. These babies weren’t even here yet and they already controlled me.
Sitting across from me was Axel, his stare on the wall mostly, but he was different from last year. The hollowness in his eyes wasn’t there like it was. Sure the pain hadn’t faded, but he was grieving differently now.
Jameson walked into the conference room, Spencer, Tate, and the drivers from Riley-Harris Racing following behind them.
I knew at some point I was going to run into Easton. He still raced for Jameson, as did I. It wasn’t like we could avoid each other forever. At the JAR Racing party at the end of last season, that was our first meeting since our fight in the shop. Believe me when I say it took every ounce of self-control I had that day not to knock his teeth in again.
For a while, I tried to put myself in Easton’s shoes, wondering what I would have done had I let my girl go and she fell for someone else.
The thing was, she didn’t just fall for someone else. What Arie and I had was so much deeper than falling. And Easton cheated on her. So I didn’t have to try that hard.
Arie belonged to me from the beginning. Always.
Easton didn’t say much when he walked into the office for the meeting, his eyes on his phone. When he got to the table, he pulled out the chair and sat down. To his left sat Kyle and his car chief.
But across from him, I was there. The man who was now with his ex-wife.
And there was the smug grin again.
I didn’t look at him and he didn't look at me. It was probably better that way.
Jameson talked about the season and changes coming. He was stepping down completely from Riley-Harris Racing and focusing only on JAR Racing.
“I think it’s time for my family that my duties be solely with my sprint car team.” He said with sadness in his voice, his eyes on the table. There was a stiffness to his words, a lack of emotion that made me think it was harder than it seemed to step down. “My dad handed this all over to me, and for a while, it was what I wanted to keep his name in the sport going. But now… It doesn’t feel like I’m needed. Tate does an amazing job, and I know he will continue to do so. My brother, Spencer, he will take over as co-owner.”
He went on to announce that Caden Carson—the kid who filled in for both Axel and me this year in a few races—would be coming on as a part-time
driver in Justin’s number nineteen car. Justin, Tyler, and Cody were all retiring this year, or racing their own cars. It seemed there was a lot of shuffling going on, but one thing remained the same, my contract with JAR Racing. Something I thought would end the moment Jameson heard about Arie and me. For so long, I assumed he didn’t want us together. When the reality of it was, he trusted me with her.
I took pride in that.
Easton approached me when Jameson finished and the meeting was over, nodded and shook my hand.
“Good luck this year,” he said, his tone calm.
Like you care.
“Thanks.” My oppressive tone didn’t go unnoticed by him. We would never be friends, and he knew that. “You too.”
He nodded, too, and then I knew it was coming by the sharp intake of breath he drew in and held. “You’re a good man, Rager.”
Noble of him to admit. But it was the truth.
Lane patted my back as he walked by, doing the same to Easton, and then eyed me, waiting to see if I was heading out with him. “I’ll catch up to ya.”
When the room cleared, I leaned against the wall with my arms crossed over my chest. “I would say you are too, but I haven’t been convinced of that, yet.”
Easton considered my words, flipped them over in his head before looking at the ground.
“Can I ask you something?”
Watch, he’s gonna asked when I had sex with Arie. It’s eating at him. It’s playing at the darkest corners of his mind, imagining it.
I nodded, giving a dismissive shrug, not sure if that was a good idea or not.
“How long was it going on for?” His body seemed to tense as soon as he asked the question. Why he wanted to know didn’t make a lot of sense to me. But then again, nothing Easton did made any damn sense to me.
“It wasn’t going on. It happened shortly before summer nationals. You had already asked for the divorce.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Not before?”
Was he serious? Why would he want to know this?
“I’m not really sure what you’re looking for here.”
“I don’t know. I guess I just wanna know she was faithful at the time.”
“I didn’t have sex with her, if that’s what you’re asking.” His head shot up, eyes focused on mine. “You cheated on her, Easton. I don’t know why you would think any of this would matter now.”
Drawing in another heavy breath, Easton shifted his feet and leaned back into the wall. “I know I didn’t fight for her like I should have. I should have been there more.”
Nope. I think you fought hard enough. Gave me a chance that way.
“Yeah, probably.”
“Well,” he stood straighter, reaching for my hand again, “take care of her.”
Like there is any doubt.
“Do you really have any doubt?”
Easton laughed, shaking his head as he reached for the door handle. “No.”
He knew I would. If there was anything in this world I would take care of, it was her.
Oil System - The oil system in a sprint car Engine is typically a dry-sump system, where the oil is stored in an oil tank and the oil is circulated through the engine using a system of pumps.
MY DUE DATE was fast approaching when our family was set to leave for Florida for the DIRTCar Nationals in Volusia.
Well, most everyone. Emma and Aiden weren’t traveling anymore. They ran the restaurant in town and took great pride in that. It had become a passion for them—and when you saw them there—you completely understood.
Uncle Spencer took over as President of Riley-Harris Racing. Dad handed it all over to him, even signed over ownership. It was a little sad to see Dad wanted away from NASCAR all together when that sport made him who he was, but I understood why he did it.
Stepping down meant Spencer was set to travel with the NASCAR teams again. Owners didn’t have to, but Spencer was going into the ownership side with a hands-on attitude. Most of us liked to tease them that it was so Uncle Spencer could keep a better eye on Lexi and Brody.
That left Aunt Alley traveling with Spencer, probably so he didn’t cause bodily harm to Brody. It wasn’t an easy decision for Alley either, after doing the job for the past thirty years, but she finally stepped down as the director of Public Relations for JAR Racing and only focused on Riley-Harris Racing.
The job was open then, and something I was fully capable of handling.
Dad came to me just days before leaving for Volusia. “The job is yours if you want it.”
Jerry already knew I wasn’t coming back as the Merchandise Manager for the Outlaws. It was great last year, but I needed something a little more than what I was able to do with the Outlaws.
I’d never really thought about doing what Alley did for the team, but when she explained it to me, I was already doing that with the World of Outlaws and the World Racing Group.
“That means I’d be on your payroll again?” I teased, looking over the contract he handed me. Dad was all about formalities, regardless of it being family. He made all of us sign agreements that included confidentiality, reimbursement, and term of employment. I didn’t blame him on that one.
“Yeah, I suppose you would be.”
“Is it going to be a problem with me and the babies around?”
“No, I wouldn’t think so. Alley did it and still had three kids running around the pits.”
“I’m done after these two,” I assured him, reaching for the pen on the desk. “No way.”
A picture frame caught my attention. Wrapped inside of a black frame was a photograph of Jack, Jonah, Jacen, and Gray with my parents. Part of me was a little sad that Jack would never meet the twins. Or that Savannah never met her big brother. I had a hard time holding back tears when I looked at the picture.
“I said that too, and then Casten showed up,” Dad noted sourly, bringing me from the memory. “Little shit.”
Wanting to keep him away from the topic of Jack, I pointed to the window that overlooked the parking lot where his truck and my car were parked. “About that kid…”
Immediately his mood twisted, his brow drawing together with that set scowl he was so good at. “What?”
I laughed lightly. “When I was coming inside, I noticed your dashboard was looking awful sparkly.”
Groaning, he tossed himself back in his chair, his hands running down the front of his face. “That fucking jerk.”
Clicking the pen, I signed under my printed name. Laughing, I slid them across the dark cherry wood desk and into his hands. “I feel like I signed my life away.”
“Don’t.” He leaned forward to retrieve the papers and then placed them inside of a file. “We only have five cars, and you won’t have to worry about the NASCAR side.”
“That’s a relief. How do you think Uncle Spencer is gonna do?”
“He’ll be fine. I think this is good for him. He needed a change of pace and I’m glad Alley isn’t working so much.”
“Think you’re ever going to retire?”
Dad winked at me and stood, reaching for his keys. “If I’m still breathing, I’m still racing.”
We walked down the hall, through the show room, and out the front door when Dad gave the building and the JAR Racing sign outside of it a pensive stare.
“What made you step down from the team?”
He thought about it, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “It was time. When Jack passed away, I found myself searching for what really made me happy. And it’s my family. I didn’t want the added responsibility anymore.”
When we reached the cars, Dad was less than impressed to see that Casten had dumped glitter in his heating vents.
Casten and Dad were still at it with the practical jokes. It seemed they had to one up the other. All. The. Time.
“Stupid little shit,” Dad grunted and locked the door to his car, pulling out his cell phone. “Your brother will be lucky if he sees twenty-two. I just might kill him before then.�
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“I would have to agree with you on that one.” Placing my hand on his back, I laughed. “But, Dad?”
“Yeah?”
“Casten’s twenty-three.”
“I know that.”
Sure he did.
MY OFFICIAL DUE date was March ninth, and I thought for sure I’d stick to that day, regardless of what Emma and my mom kept telling me. I had it in my head, or rather under the assumption really, when your forty weeks were up, the babies came out. Boy was I wrong on that one.
If only I would have paid a little better attention in health class.
When I made the decision to go to Florida with Rager and the team, it was more about this being my first appearance with him. I could be by his side and not have to hide anything. Though Rager advised me to stay home, worried I’d go into labor early, he held the same kind of joy in the situation. We were finally a couple, out in the open with no need to hide in the shadows.
The divorce was final, we were expecting our twins soon, and we were in love. That was all that mattered to us.
Rager and I made the drive from Mooresville to Florida in Rager’s motor home. Which was nice because the rest of our family flew and it made it feel like a little vacation for us.
After he brought his toothbrush over, he officially moved in the next week. He kept his property and what remained of the house with plans to eventually rebuild it. He’d already been spending a lot of time at Lane and Bailey’s, it wasn’t much of a difference having him move in.
“Are you excited for racing?” I asked, motioning around the motor home just before we crossed over the state line to Florida. I was looking forward to the season and being a mother.
Rager smiled, one hand on the wheel, the other in his hair. “Yeah, it’ll be nice this year, huh.” And then he turned back to the road. “Will you be as busy as last year?”
“No…not likely. I don’t even need to come to the track to do my job now. It’s just making sure you boys stay in line and working the media releases.”
Momentarily, I lost him to his thoughts, then he added, “I just want you to be careful. Take it easy, you know?”
