by Shey Stahl
With Arie, it was worth every fucking miserable minute when I looked at what I had now. It took ten years of give and take, bouncing off those cushions, heated open wheel racing, but we balanced, controlled the throttle, and found that line we needed.
I inhaled, drawing that fresh spring air into my lungs, as I looked out over the track and our home. I realized a lot could change a person, but this was where I found my heart, discovered my home, and would raise my family.
As I stood there in turns three and four, looking over the track, Tommy approached me, smiling as usual. Clasping his hand on my shoulder, his thoughts were reflective.
It was then I realized I’d never thanked him for keeping what he knew about Arie and me to himself. Everyone thought Tommy was a child, always that frat-boy style party guy. There was so much more to him than that. He was loyal.
“Thanks for never saying anything about Arie and me.”
Tommy didn’t look at me, his brow crinkled, his head bent forward staring at the clay. “It was never my place to say. If I was going to say anything, it would have been the day she married E. That’s when it all went wrong.”
There was certainly some truth to that, but despite everything that happened, I didn’t regret it. No, I couldn’t because of what it gave me now.
Her.
New Spacer - Term used for a new engine because it fills the space between the chassis and transmission.
BEING IN WILLIAMS Grove again with three kids was different than any other time we were there. Mostly because we had three kids.
We still made time for hot laps in the hauler right before the feature event.
“I need some good luck.” Rager whispered as he drew my panties down my thighs and my summer dress up over my back to reveal my bare ass to him. “Can I?”
Reaching behind me, I swatted his hand away from my ass. “No. Come on. Fuck me already.”
“You’re still so fucking dirty, aren’t you baby?” With one hard thrust, Rager entered me, growling out a breath as he did so. It was the kind of thrust that made me weak, made me feel like my knees would buckle any second.
Standing with him behind me, bent over the table, Rager pushed my legs further apart to drive into me harder. His right hand moved over my hips and between my legs. “Come for me, dirty girl.” He groaned, his cheek pressed to my shoulder blades. “Come for me.”
With the force of his hips slamming into me, I screamed out in pleasure. His hand that was on my hip moved to clamp over my mouth, knowing our family was right outside this hauler, including my dad. No way did I want them to hear us.
“Shut up.” He hissed in my ear and I loved the demand he made as it sent me over the edge, falling for him. “Don’t make another sound. Don’t.”
The fact that he was ordering me around, demanding that I not make a single sound as my orgasm took over, was hard. His relentless thrusts never gave me a chance to come down or catch my breath before he was whispering dirty words in my ear.
With the view he had, naturally Rager’s thoughts were on my ass, and our wedding night when I finally gave into him. “Your ass is begging for it, you know that right?”
I went to say something, deny his request when he shook his head. “Don’t answer me. No talking.”
What? Who is this guy? And why am I turned on by this?
I nearly laughed, wanting to say something, but refrained when his brow came together in a glare.
“You’ve been begging me with looks all night for full throttle. This is me branding your pussy, baby.”
The moment didn’t last long between us, nope, not with those kind of words and orders being handed out. It was exactly what we needed, dirty, fast and satisfying. When he came, his whole body jerked forward, shuddering against mine, weak, needing me for support. With my hands splayed out of the side of the hauler, I turned to look back at him, still slumped against me.
When he stepped back, I smiled, waiting to see what his reaction would be. “You know they heard that?”
Rager shrugged, not caring, zipping his racing suit back up—looking composed and calm.
“You know they’re going to ask what we were doing in here.”
There was a possessive glint to his stare as he leaned in for another kiss, because he could. “It’s really none of their business, is it?”
Shrugging, I kissed him back and then righted my dress, reaching for the hauler door.
When we emerged, we were met with Casten, Rosa and Willie staring at us.
Casten high-fived Rager, Rosa made a clawing motion at him and Willie held up a note pad. “Hey man, repeat that last part again. The part about branding a pussy?”
Rager gave Willie a look of complete annoyance and shoved him away. Everyone around us started laughing.
SITTING IN THE stands was also very different. With Knox in my arms, his mess of dark hair tangling with the wind, I kissed the top of his head, inhaling his sweet baby smell.
Bristol on one side, watching the race intently and with Pace on the other, his eyes on Gray, probably trying to figure out why she refused to take off her helmet when she raced five hours ago. Next to her, Ryder, Casten’s son who smiled non-stop. You didn’t see that little guy without a grin plastered to his face and dirt on his cheeks. So completely different than his older sister.
When Pace and Bristol saw their daddy, all three of them squirmed around, attention on the track.
Rager and I had a family now. The idea of that seemed unreal. But it wasn’t.
Maybe it was the hot laps in the hauler, or the magic about this track for us, but Rager won the all green feature by an entire back-stretch over Axel and Casten who fought hard for second and third place.
Seeing Rager in his racing suit, helmet on, visor down, hands in the air, and his HANS device still on, well, it was hot. I always loved that look.
Only now, it was amplified by everything he was to me and he knew it.
If I didn't know any better, he was putting on a show for me.
I lived one day at a time. Okay, I tried to live my life one day at a time. I realized that sometimes you needed to forget the past and take it for what it was. A lesson.
I couldn’t rush into anything ever again. I didn’t want to. Every move was done slowly, over time because that was how Rager and I were living in the shadows of this blaring spotlight around us. We had to live that way. We needed to.
Standing on the track, celebrating the win, Rager brought me to his chest, his left arm wrapping around me, then the right. And though I was distracted, I saw exactly what this moment was between us, a trip down memory lane.
This was essentially where it all started for us. Just like my parents had Grays Harbor, we had Williams Grove.
“I made a promise in this exact spot eleven years ago.”
His knuckles brushed over my cheek, thrill shooting through me, shivers up my spine as a jolt to my heart. “You never have to worry about me. I’m not like them.” My eyes dropped at his voice and his hand placed under my chin. “Don’t look away…” he demanded, begged with hopeful sounds I could never ignore. Lifting my eyes to his, he spoke softly, “I’ll never lift when it comes to you.”
I nodded, my smile so wide my cheeks hurt. “Yeah…I remember.”
“I have a new one.”
“And that is?”
Raising up one hand, covered in dirt and grease, my eyes closed the moment his knuckles brushed over my cheek. “I’ll always stay.”
And again, under a sticky night, he promised me he’d stay.
My dad had a theory on moments. My brothers had a theory too.
I also had one.
Everybody has moments when they're looking for meaning. They’re searching for that one piece of their car that came out without a scratch in the crash that destroyed everything else.
But really, what did those scratches teach us?
It taught us about a memory. A scratch that couldn’t be buffed out or painted over. It was in the meta
l.
It was all about a moment you’d never get back.
So yeah, you could fall to your knees and beg for another moment.
You could…but what about the moment you’re in?
It’s right in front of you, staring you down and giving you hope and promising forever, while you had it.
THANK YOU TO my family and friends. Every one of you have made a difference in my life.
The Boy for loving me unconditionally. You’re the best friend a girl could have ask for. Thanks for blowing up the engine in your truck when you were sixteen. It was fate that day.
Pretty Girl, my baby, I love you and your precious imagination so much. Though I want you to stay little, I can’t wait to see what you become.
I need to thank my BETA team. Since it’s a private island, I won’t name you here to protect the identity of the innocent (hahaha). Thank you so much for all the time you spend reading with me, talking out storylines, our random late night conversations, and all around fun. I’ve enjoyed every minute of getting to know you girls and becoming friends. Love you all.
Janet Johnson – My second Mommy. I wouldn’t know what to do without you, and your extra eyes on my stories.
Marisa Noonan – Thanks for sharing my love for racing and being such a good friend. I love you and our day dates!
Ashley Slone – Girl, you better write that book someday. Don’t be afraid. Thank you for everything you do for me and proofreading.
Ashley Schow – Thanks for stalking me until I became your friend. Also for teaching me how to Snapchat. Even though I still can’t figure it out.
Shanna Longa – Oh my sweets, I can’t wait to see you again someday. Thanks for everything you do for me, even if it’s just a pep talk to get me through the day.
Jill Ripperda – I really wished you lived closer. But it’s probably for the better. The local dirt tracks wouldn’t know what to do with all of us in the stands.
Barb Nejman – Thanks so much for always staying by my side from the beginning. Hopefully I’ll make it to Florida soon! Love you girl!
The Gearheads – You girls, and Patrick, are awesome. I can’t thank you enough for everything you give me from motivation to late night talks about Jameson and “Purple Rain.”
To all the racers who answer my endless questions—including my husband—this series wouldn’t be what it was without you.
Louise – Thank you so much for the amazing cover. Loved it from the very first moment I laid eyes on it.
Hot Tree Editing – Such a pleasure as always to work with a professional group of ladies. You’ve taught me so much about editing and finding my style.
Shey Stahl is a USA Today Best Selling Author, a wife, mother, daughter and friend to many. When she’s not writing, she’s spending time with her family in the Pacific Northwest where she was born and raised around a dirt track. Visit her website for additional information and keep up to date on new releases: www.sheystahl.com.
You can also find her on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/SheyStahlAuthor
Additional works by Shey Stahl
Racing on the Edge
Happy Hour
Black Flag
Trading Paint
The Champion
The Legend
Hot Laps
The Rookie
Fast Time
Open Wheel
The Redemption Series
The Trainer
The Fighter (September 2015)
Stand Alones
Deal
Awakened (August 2015)
Crossing the Line
Delayed Penalty
Delayed Offsides
Unforgettable Series
All I Have Left
Waiting for You Series
Waiting for You
