by A L Crouch
“Thank you, I think. She was an incredible woman,” I said and watched as Will walked past me to grab an empty cup from a desk.
“Would you like some coffee?” he offered.
“Sure. That would be great.”
“Chief, what about you? Coffee?”
“Thanks, but I’ve got to return a couple of these calls so we can go grab some lunch. I’ll just be a minute,” Sulley replied and then vanished into his office with the stack of messages.
Being alone with Will felt awkward and I tried to figure out what about him made me so uneasy: his rugged good looks, or the intensity in his expression. I was also intrigued by him. Never having known him very well, I had always wondered what the hype surrounding him had been about. There had to be some redeeming quality about him to have been so popular back then, and for Sulley to have hired him as his deputy.
“You look exactly like what I remember of your mom, by the way,” he said handing me my coffee. “Glad you got rid of those pony-tail thingies though. The loose look is much better.”
“Thank you. You never were a fan of the pig tails. Always gave me hell,” I said blowing the steam from my cup.” Had known I would run into you I would have thrown on a couple of hair bands for old time’s sake.”
Will finally showed a glimpse of a smile. I wished he would keep it up, it helped to smooth his rough edges.
“Well I’m sure I would have appreciated the gesture,” he said coolly.
There was an awkward silence after that as we both searched for something to say. At a loss I sipped my coffee, the hot liquid bitter and stale going down.
“So, how long are you planning to stick around town?” Will finally asked and walked to the desk by the front window.
“I’m not really sure,” I sighed. “There are a few things I need to take care of. I have to decide what to do about the house, and I’d like to go visit Mom and Gary at the church. It’s been too long.”
“That’s understandable. How are you planning on getting around? The church is too far of a walk from here.”
“I thought about renting a car, but I really hadn’t planned on staying long enough to need one. I’ll probably ride with Sulley for the most part or I don’t mind the trek.”
Will sat behind his desk and put his hands behind his head and leaned back in his chair. He squinted his bronze eyes as he stared at me, warring with some decision in his head.
“Well he’ll be here at the station a lot. I swear that man never takes a break. And there’s no way you’re walking these highways,” he sighed and scratched his head. “You know, I’ve got the old Mustang just sitting here. I’ve been driving the squad car to and from work these days. The old gal needs to be driven. What do you think? You want to borrow her? You’d be doing us both a favor.”
“You still have the Mustang?” I gawked. “Wow. Now that was an amazing car. I couldn’t possibly . . .”
“She‘s STILL an amazing car,” Will said, “and she deserves to be driven more than I’ve been able to lately. Seriously, you’d be doing me a solid.”
I contained the excitement that threatened to put a huge grin on my face. No need to play into his practiced arrogance, even if it was justified. He wasn’t just the hot older guy anymore. We were both adults which evened the playing field. Just play it cool, I told myself, and consider the offer. The Mustang was quite a beauty and also part of Will’s whole bad-boy façade. It was his sidekick. Now after all these years I had the chance to drive it. Who could say no to that?
“Okay then. I guess . . . if it would help us both out.” I decided.
“Then it’s settled,” Will said, just as Sulley emerged from the office.
“What’s settled?” he asked.
I motioned to Will. “Your deputy here was kind enough to offer to let me borrow his car while I’m in town.”
Will coughed and readjusted himself in his seat.
“That’s right. It’s just been sitting out back all day. Might as well be driven by someone. I’ll dig up the keys and introduce you when you get back from lunch.”
Sulley scratched his head while Will and I awaited his response.
“Actually, I think that’s a great idea,” he said “Keeps you from having to come to the station with me every day and waiting around.”
“Well then, you see? I am good for something around here.” Will winked at me and sipped his coffee.
“I wouldn’t go that far,” Sulley said and then turned to me. “Ready to grab some lunch? I know it’s early still, but I’m starving.”
“Yep,” I said starting for the door. “Thanks again, Will.”
“Not a problem,” he said and turned back to the papers on his desk.
I pushed the door open and smashed into someone coming in. As I regained my balance I came face to face with the man from the plane. He smiled that flashy smile and I knew he recognized me too.
“Well I knew we’d bump into one another, but I didn’t think it’d be literally,” he said, laughing.
“Well I did say the odds were in our favor.” I laughed. “Mr. Brightman, right?”
“Please, call me Rick.”
Sulley opened the door wide and offered Brightman a hand.
“Good morning Mr. Brightman. I see you’ve met me niece.”
“Your niece?” he asked taking Sulley’s hand. “It is a small world then. She and I were on the same flight yesterday.”
“Well that explains the acquaintance. I assume you’re here to pick up your permits? I finished signing them this morning. They’re just on my desk, let me get them for you. Alex, why don’t you go on and get us a seat. I’ll be there in 5 minutes.”
“Not a problem. Can I borrow your cell phone? I have no bars and I need to call Aunt Maggie and let her know I’m in one piece.”
“Sure thing,” Sulley said tossing me his Motorola.
“Thanks, see you in a sec,” I said. “It was nice to see you again Rick.”
“Until next time.” He smiled again and I went out the door.
Jogging across the street and having a seat on a bench at the small park there, I dialed the familiar Chicago number. When no one answered I figured my aunt and uncle had gone to the park. It was their new Friday ritual now that Uncle Dan was retired. I left a message letting them know that I had arrived in one piece and informed them of the bad cell phone reception. I’d call them before I left for home . . . whenever that would be.
When I hung up the phone I found that I was glad to have gotten their voicemail, which surprised me. I should be feeling homesick by now; I had anticipated as much. But I wasn’t. Maybe that’s because I had never come to think of Uncle Dan and Aunt Maggie’s as home.
It wasn’t for their lack of trying. They had raised me as their own until I was old enough to move out and even helped pay for college. Aunt Maggie was the one who had landed me the interview for my first teaching job. But their house was no more a home as my humble apartment in the city, I realized as I jogged back across the street in time to meet Sulley coming out of the station.
After lunch, Sulley and I walked back to the station still laughing from our conversation.
“How was lunch?” Will asked, looking up from his desk.
“Great as always until Alex here reacquainted herself with the old soda fountain,” Sulley teased.
I rolled my eyes at him. “Who doesn’t like strawberry Coke?”
“Or grape Seven-up, my personal favorite.” Will winked.
He was much less intimidating when he smiled, I mused. I wondered if that was the reason he did it so rarely.
“See there? A man with taste.” I smiled back.
Sulley glanced at the two of us and frowned. Will cleared his throat and opened his desk drawer.
“I promised you a set of keys and an introduction,” he said and started to rummage through the drawer. Perplexed, he emptied the contents onto the top of his desk, pilling up papers and notepads as he scoured.
“That
’s strange. I always keep them in this drawer.” He opened the other drawers and looked around before shrugging. “I guess it’s possible that I grabbed them and took them home on accident. I’m sorry. Rain check till tomorrow?”
“Don’t even worry about it. Tomorrow’s Saturday, I don’t want you to come all the way to work.” I waved him off.
“Oh I’ll be here. So will the chief. Weekends are when all the fun happens. I’ll have them tomorrow, promise.”
“Well I guess that works then,” I said with a shrug.
“You want me to drop you back off at the house till I’m off? Before I leave I’ve got to plan out how I’m going to close off this side of the street when they come to renovate the train station. Be maybe an hour or so?” Sulley asked.
He grabbed an empty cup and walked to the coffee pot. The man drank coffee all day.
“No, it’s okay. I’m just going to go into the grocery, maybe grab a new book,” I said and opened the door to go back out. “Be back soon.”
I didn’t want to tell him that I wasn’t ready to go back to the house. Not yet. I needed reinforcement for the night. By the time I returned to the station Sulley was locking up the front door. He waved and nodded to the shopping bags I carried with a smile.
“I see you’ve had a productive time,” he said.
“Yep. Got a couple bottles of wine, some chocolate, and a couple of used books – everything I need to survive,” I said and we walked to the truck where I secured my new treasures in the back seat.
“Yes, you have excellent survival instincts,” Sulley joked and started the truck.
Every curve of the road to Sulley’s house was a key that unlocked some distant memory of the many visits with both he and Gram there. I thought of the hilarious family stories at the dinner table and the many lessons in baking and, more importantly, the eating of the every heavenly product. I could almost feel the thousands of warm hugs and cuddles that had made me feel like the most loved little girl on the planet. The excitement of was seeing Gram was overwhelming, but so was the sense of dread.
“Do you think she’ll remember me?” I asked Sulley.
Gram was the only grandmother I had ever known. My mother’s mom had died before I was born and I had never known my father, let alone the rest of his family. If she didn’t remember me it would be like losing her all over again.
“Well, you just never know from day to day. She was doing well this morning, so maybe today will be a good day,” Sulley sighed. “Just remember, if she says something that doesn’t make sense, just shrug it off. There’s just no telling where her mind is.”
Sulley’s street had always been quiet, the houses set back into the towering pines and only accessible through long, private driveways. As we turned into the last driveway on the left, I stared up at the quaint but aging log cabin home where so many of my childhood memories were created. I didn’t want to be nervous, but I was. If Gram didn’t remember me now in her deteriorated state, how would I end up remembering her?
“Well, here we are. Home sweet home.” Sulley put the truck into park and hopped out.
I followed him to the front door where an attractive, middle-aged black woman smiled warmly at me as she greeted us.
“Oh good, you guys made it home early. Gram just finished putting dinner in the oven,” she said. “Needs to cook a while yet, but she’ll be happy you are here.”
Sulley went straight into the living room while the woman stared and smiled at me in the entryway.
“My name is Nadine. I look after your grandmother. And you, My Dear, must be Alexandra,” the woman said clasping my hand. “I have heard so much about you. You’re even lovelier than I had imagined.”
I shook her hand. “It’s very nice to meet you.”
Nadine waved off the handshake and giggling, leaned in and gave me a firm hug. She smelled of sweet lavender and vanilla, which instantly put me at ease. I found myself hugging the stranger back.
“She talks about you all the time, you know. Whatever condition she is in, I know that she has missed you very much. No matter what happens, just remember that everything is going to be alright,” Nadine said and then released me and grabbed her coat from the rack. I found it hard to take my eyes off the lovely woman.
“Thank you for taking care of her,” I said.
Nadine put on her coat and turned at the door.
“Now you don’t ever have to thank me. It’s a blessing and an honor to be the one to look after your grandmother. It was nice to finally meet you Alexandra. I am so glad that you are back,” she said turning to cup my face in her hands. “You must remember to have an open mind and heart, dear. Only then will you see.”
Then she patted my cheek and walked out the door.
I stared after her for a minute trying to make sense of Nadine’s words when I was distracted by a soft, familiar voice that called to me from the living room.
“Well now, come on in here young lady. Supper will be ready in a little while and I haven’t gotten my hugs yet.”
I turned slowly, my heart racing in my chest, and followed the sound of Gram’s familiar, though now aged, voice. There I found Sulley, bent down away from me as he embraced the old woman. I watched as delicate, pale arms reached around him and gave his back a pat. Then Sulley stood up and glanced over his shoulder at me.
“Looks like it’s a good day,” he grinned.
When he stepped aside she was real and in front of me, no longer a memory, smiling with arms outstretched. She had the same warm smile that could melt even the coldest heart or pretense. Her hair, once a steel grey, had faded into a white cloud surrounding slender shoulders. A few more wrinkles had settled into what was an otherwise timeless face.
As I walked up to embrace her, I looked deep into her eyes and was saddened. Something in them was different. Those eyes, which were once so bright and expectant, now seemed dark and tormented, as if the life reflected through them was weighed down by an unseen burden. Tears welled in my eyes as I embraced the small woman and clung to her.
“Now you give Gram a big ole hug missy. It’s been far too long since you’ve come round here,” Gram said as she patted me on my back and gave me a peck on the cheek.
I straightened and wiped the tears from my eyes before she could see them.
“How are you feeling today Mom?” Sulley asked from the corner.
“Oh now, don’t you worry about me one bit, Sullivan. We have a guest. Why don’t you set the table for dinner? And you, young lady, why don’t you come on in here and let me get you something to drink. We can catch up on life.” Gram motioned me towards the kitchen. “And Sullivan, could you turn that television off? I can’t stand to hear one more thing about that shooting or that poor young man. And after all he did to save those people . . .” she said as she disappeared into the kitchen, her voice trailing off.
Sulley sighed and rolled his eyes at me before walking over to the television. I followed Gram into the kitchen giggling. Despite what I had seen in her eyes earlier, she was the same old Gram.
In the kitchen, Gram poured me a glass of her sweet tea and motioned for me to have a seat at the white-tiled kitchen table. I admired the whole scene, down to the last faded daisy on the yellow wallpaper. Gram checked on the roast in the oven and carefully chopped the vegetables for the salad. I smiled each time she stepped on the squeaky floorboard by the sink. Gram was oblivious to the squeaking and I decided that the floorboard matched Gram: old and unsteady, but still full of spunk.
We talked about everyday thinks like the turning of the leaves and the council’s display in the library window. I was glad for the light conversation. It made me feel as though I had never really left, and for a moment I was that happy little girl again spending time in her happiest of places.
Dinner conversation turned to stories about Sulley and Gary and their brotherly exploits. Although Gram’s stories made me miss Gary all the more, the mortified look on Sulley’s face made me laugh. He turne
d beet red when Gram recounted a dare that he and Gary had going, on who could urinate the farthest. It was all fun and games until Sulley inadvertently watered an electrical socket and was given the jolt of his life.
“He always won. No matter what the game, he always won,” Sulley snickered, “but always by default. The universe seemed to always be on his side.”
Sulley’s expression changed then and I knew his thoughts had shifted into darker territory, to the night when the universe was not on Gary’s side. The night that had changed everything. I refused to let go of the light-hearted mood though. I wanted more than anything to cling to this fleeting moment of real family time. I rose from the table and gave Sulley an encouraging pat on the back and began to gather up plates to take to the sink.
“And what do you think you are doing young lady?” Gram asked.
“Clearing the table,” I answered on my way to the sink.
Gram rose from her chair and grabbed a few plates shakily. “Nonsense, you are the guest. You have yourself a seat. I’ll get these out of the way.”
“I am hardly a guest. Besides, we have to get these out of the way so you can show me how to bake your famous cookies, remember?”
Sulley got up from his chair and gathered the remaining dishes and set them in the sink. Unlike Gram, he was skilled at avoiding the squeaky floorboard.
“Well that’s my cue to leave you two ladies alone. I don’t want to get in the way of cookie time,” he said and excused himself from the kitchen.
He looked back and gave me a smile on his way out.
“Just like old times.”
I smiled at him and he gave me a wink as he left Gram and I alone.
“Cookies huh? Why I could make those in my sleep,” Gram said as she began to gather all the ingredients.
I paid close attention as she assembled the flour, sugar, baking powder and oatmeal into one large mixing bowl and I stirred them with a large wooden spoon. After adding the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients she dipped a spoon in the bowl and gave the dough a taste. She pondered for a moment and then sighed, looking puzzled and distraught.
