by Maria Dean
"Sally! Thank god. Is there a god? I don't know." Astrid sat up in a rush and groaned, throwing her free hand over her forehead. "Sorry, I have a massive headache. What's up?"
"Well, the Cooper family reached out to us. They wanted to prove there was nothing wrong with their grandmother's fall and invited us over. You, specifically." Sally wavered, pausing as if she didn't want to continue. "This could be dangerous."
"It could be my dad," Astrid replied, snagging a bottle of painkillers off her nightstand. "Give me the address," she ordered as she downed the drugs with water, "I'm taking a Lyft." She snatched her tape recorder too and stuffed it in her pocket, just in case she needed evidence.
Her beloved receptionist gasped, scrambling for the address book. "I never thought I'd see the day Astrid Pfeiffer willingly took a car to someplace other than the airport. Have you ever taken a car to the airport?"
In the background, Astrid could make out Winston's voice. "Sally, focus."
"Right." Sally recited the Cooper address. Astrid bolted out of her room and was locked her door. "Be careful, Astrid. Let us know if you need anything."
"I will." Astrid hung up and ordered her lift begrudgingly paying and entering her destination as she hopped in the elevator. One of her upstairs neighbors was on his way downstairs with his laundry. When Astrid bolted inside, he nearly dropped his basket of socks. "Sorry about that," she apologized.
"Not a problem," he replied. "You seem like you're in a hurry. Meeting someone?"
"Something like that." The elevator doors opened on the first floor and she burst out, meeting her driver as he pulled up outside. They didn't speak, which suited Astrid as she pumped herself up. It was 'go time', and Astrid had everything to lose. The most important case of her career. The only hope she had to avenge Hilda's brother.
The lives of the Russo cousins.
Astrid looked back down at her phone. Giovanni hadn't blasted her phone with calls or plagued her with texts, quite unlike his twin had when he first left the country. Instead, he left one single text message which, according to the time code, he sent shortly after she disappeared.
Please be safe, Astrid. I'll be waiting, when you're ready. If you'll have me.
And I'm sorry.
At least he bothered to care about her safety.
***
Jason Cooper might have been brainwashed, but at least he remembered his former lawyer.
"Astrid! How nice to see you again." He ushered her into his modest townhouse. It was a weird thing to say considering he lived on one of the wealthier streets named Minnehaha Parkway in the Twin Cities. There were many of those. It made house calls difficult when Astrid was unfamiliar with the area.
The entire Cooper family was seated in the dining area. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, so far. Elizabeth Cooper was scolding her eldest son for feeding his peas to the dog who was lapping the lost veggies with abandon.
"You've come just in time for dinner," Jason said. "We have braised pork shoulder!"
Astrid's lawyer mask didn't budge. "No thank you, sir. I don't eat pork."
One of the kids turned to her. "Are you one of them vegans?"
Again, Astrid held back an expression in favor of flat face and a fake smile. "No, I just don't like the taste of pork."
The boy twisted back around, shaking his head. "Dang'd vegans, ruining a good American meal."
All right, that one's a little weird. They all were, upon closer inspection. Elizabeth Cooper was wearing a stained white apron, straight out of the 1950s. Her sons both wore plaid shirts tucked into khakis. Their daughter, who was eating in the kitchen, was only visible thanks to her puffy pink poodle skirt.
"You have a lovely home, Mr. Cooper." Astrid registered his boring pinstripe suit as inaccurate to the decade. If the alchemists were going to throw the Coopers back in time, the least they could do was make sure the costumes were all from the same period. Now wasn't the time for criticism, though, and Astrid reminded herself of this as she pulled out her tape recorder. "My receptionist says you'd like to explain to me how your mother fell, in order to prove there was no foul play. Is that true?" Jason nodded. "Do you consent to being recorded? I will need this for evidence later on."
The Cooper patriarch eyed the device. "Well, I suppose. But just me. I was the only one who spoke to you, after all." He waved over his shoulder at the carpeted staircase behind him. "Why don't you follow me upstairs, eh?"
Astrid took a deep breath and trailed after him. "Can you tell me a little about your mother, Mr. Cooper?"
"You can just call me Jason," he replied. "Everyone does. My mom was just the greatest. A real fighter who loved her family more than she loved herself. I tell ya, one time my youngest got into a scrap with a boy at school and she went in and argued until he was out of suspension."
They passed a cascade of family photos, depicting the five living Coopers and their grandmother. "Did she live here?"
"Indeed." Astrid followed Jason to the top of the stairs. He opened a door, letting her into a bedroom with hideous yellow wallpaper. Astrid wrinkled her nose out of Jason's view. Whoever was there before hadn't cleaned it in a while. "This was Mom's room," Jason said behind her. "Her bathroom is through that door. That's where she fell when she was showering. That's where she died." Jason paused, staring at Astrid with a wide, unblinking gaze. He shook it off and added, "You're welcome to check things over, though I don't think you're going to find anything." He retreated to the doorway. "Just give me a shout if you need anything, eh?"
She didn't look up from her survey of the room. "I will," Astrid lied.
Jason nodded and left. Astrid waited until she heard his heavy footsteps on the first floor. Her search began in all the cabinets, looking for anything shady or branded with VidaCo's trademark symbol. The contents of her dressers were surprisingly clean. Every Knick Knack had been dusted recently, her clothes straightened and freshly pressed. It was just the rest of the room smelt of rotten eggs.
The floor was covered in useless bits of medical equipment Astrid couldn't make heads or tails of. Some of it looked like it was straight from a hospice center, while others were a little more distinguishable, like part of a stethoscope. She snapped photos of all of it, taking care to not disturb anything. As she neared the bathroom, Astrid stepped over a nasty white rag and coughed. The smell was emanating from the grandmother's washroom.
Jason's ominous words bounced around in her memory.
That's where she died.
What if she's dead and rotting in the tub? An image from Kubrick's version of The Shining flashed through Astrid's mind. She needed to stop watching horror movies if she was going to continue with her dangerous line of work.
Astrid held out a hand and tentatively pushed the bathroom door open. Flicking the lights on, the smell assaulted her once more. There was no body, thankfully, but that meant something else was causing the stench. Astrid pocketed her phone and tape recorder, choosing to cover her mouth as she checked the medicine cabinet.
"Bingo," Astrid grinned. The cabinet was full of empty pill bottles, each branded with VidaCo's blue and green logo. She retrieved her phone long enough to take some pictures, returning it to her pocket moments later when she thought she heard someone on the stairs. Astrid took a bottle off the shelf and shut the medicine cabinet and pocketed it. When she was sure the person was gone, she continued her search.
Her paranoia forced her to check the bathtub next. "Oh," she gasped. Again, no body, but there was a shining silver shimmer.
There is a god. Astrid pushed away her concerns about being able to escape, leaving the curtain open for easy access.
The only things left to check were the sink and the toilet, and the sink was completely empty. Astrid examined the toilet with a heavy sigh. There was only one way to find out where the smell was coming from, and this was her last option. Pinching her nose shut, Astrid lifted the lid with two fingers.
She dropped the lid when she gagged at the full
force of the stench. Astrid caught it at the last minute, not wanting to make a sound, and pushed it up. She then vomited into the empty sink.
"You can do this," she said to herself. "You're Astrid fucking Pfeiffer." She held her nose shut again and approached the toilet. Astrid peered over the edge and gagged again, but this time in horror. The toilet overflowed with a mix of pills, nails, and teeth. Someone had tried to get rid of the medication. The grandmother, perhaps. The Coopers appeared as if they had no idea this was going on. Astrid took a picture of the toilet and shut the lid. There was no way she was reaching into that vile concoction to get the medication. At the least, she could bring in Jason Cooper and interrogate him about the mixture.
It was then the pill bottle slipped out of her pocket. Astrid bent down to grab it as it rolled under the sink. Thanks to her sudden portalling, Astrid was still in pain and elected to take the retrieval slowly.
If she'd been any faster, she would've missed it.
Taped under the sink was a bag of blue pills. Astrid ripped it off the porcelain, grinning, and rose faster than expected. "Oh my god," she squeaked. Taking a quick photo of them, Astrid held them up to the light for further examination. "This is amazing."
Her fixation meant she missed the eldest Cooper child's entrance. "Hey, miss," he called out. "What are you doing in there?"
"This, is proof your family is dealing with VidaCo." Astrid didn't care if he tried to attack her. This was a personal victory on her part.
"Dad!" The son screeched. "Call the men! Call the company!" He burst into a sprint, tackling Astrid into the wall. They both hurtled through the shimmer, coming out on the other end in a dark forest. Astrid didn't recognize the world, though that wasn't her main concern. She shoved the boy back into the shimmer and retreated into the other-world alone. Astrid ran even though she knew they couldn't find her. The medication clutched against her chest. Everything else could fall from her pockets and she wouldn't mind. She had the one thing she needed.
Astrid stopped abruptly at the edge of the forest tumbling forward into a sheep pasture. Confused baaaahs echoed around her as she rolled through the grass. Astrid came to a stop and sighed. "Hell yeah," she said to herself.
Her body hurt. But she'd done it.
She checked her pockets for everything else she'd brought with her. Her phone and the tape recorder were safe, as was the pill bottle. Astrid sealed the bag inside the bottle and tried to stand. She wobbled, remembering she'd run there in the discount heels from work.
"I'm a superwoman," she said to the sheep. "Eat shit, Dragon shifters. Let's see one of you run in heels."
Well, Matilde probably could.
Astrid pushed her Russo thoughts aside to focus on her situation. There were other things to worry about. As she trod through the pasture, it dawned on her the alchemists now knew she was investigating them.
Let them come.
Her dad could do his worst and she'd still win. She found the drugs. She had evidence. All Astrid needed to do was get them to someone who couldn't be touched by the alchemist cabal and she'd be in the clear. VidaCo would be gone, and Astrid could at least return to messing around with Winston and Sally in the office.
The only real issue was the fact she had no idea how to get home. On the one hand, she could wander through the other world in search of a shimmer. And then she'd need to find another shimmer, and another, until she got somewhere in her world. Then she could portal home.
Astrid eyed the world around her. Thinking about it, Nova had never said she couldn't create her own shimmers. She could portal through one world, so why couldn't she? Astrid still felt the warmth from her aunt's tea radiating throughout her body. She could pull off one more portal if she was careful.
How'd she do it the first time?
Astrid thought of home and recalled the first intentional Alicing, when she pulled herself and Giovanni back into the alleyway. Her mind was filled with good memories, like the smell of tomato soup burning on Tom's stove. The sound of Sally's laughter when Winston called her out for referencing some television show.
The smell of Nova's perfume surrounding her on the beige carpet.
The feeling of Giovanni's arms around her.
Astrid began to fall, the now familiar cold wrapping around her like a coat. She willed herself out of the other world, the darkness pinching and pulling her every which way as she continued.
A sharp pain enveloped her thigh. Then it hit her in the shoulder, sinking into her body like an ice pick. It struck her in the stomach and Astrid's eyes opened to the darkness. She gasped, letting go of her breath. There was no air around her, she realized, and Astrid's mind began to cloud in panic. Hadn't Nova warned her this could happen?
Astrid tried to breathe and couldn't. The pain of her airless lungs ripping through her chest. Instead, she kept falling. Astrid felt her body flailing through space, though she couldn't see it. There was nothing around her at once, yet she felt everything. She felt her limbs give up, falling slack at her sides. She felt her eyelids fall shut, tired from seeing nothing. She wasn't sure if she felt her heart or her brain go next. She was left with nothing as her body gave it's self up to the void.
Astrid didn't feel anything anymore.
***
"We've been calling you for days"
"Your landlord let us in, you know he thought you were dead?"
"Baby, please wake up"
Astrid's eyes flew open, and she grasped for something to hold on to. It ended up being poor Winston's shoulders. He stared back at her and then screamed in joy. Astrid wasn't sure of what was going on, though the presences of her friends... yes, friends, not coworkers... and Nova was an indicator something was wrong.
And the figure hunched over in the armchair, over in the corner. That wasn't good.
Astrid returned her attention to the people surrounding her. "I'm sorry," she croaked. "It was the only way."
While the Lionheart workers clamored to understand, Nova shook her head and tutted. "I warned you, baby. You're just lucky I got here when I did. Your father could've come in while you were out."
"Was I asleep?" Astrid looked from Nova to her friends. None of them had the answer.
"Comatose, actually." The figure in the corner finally stood. X's sad grin greeted Astrid and she couldn't help but choke back a sob. That was the look of a man who thought he'd lost someone else. "You're lucky I came by and figured out something was wrong. Zion was on his way because he figured out your apartment was where his slayer disappeared."
Astrid tried to rise from the bed, but fell to the floor. "No," she said to Tom when he tried to help her. She rose on her own, propelling herself up by grabbing onto the bed for support. "We did it, Xander," Astrid finally said when she stood up. "We have the evidence."
Winston's jaw dropped when she fished out the bottle. "That's the miracle drug?"
Tom plucked it from her hands. "VidaCo branded and everything. What the hell did you do, Astrid?"
On Nova's orders Astrid was escorted into the living room and wrapped up in every blanket she owned. Nova made herself busy in the kitchen, brewing up a potion for Astrid's pain. Meanwhile, the Alice detailed everything about her encounter with the Coopers. At the mention of the photos, X offered to help encrypt them so no one could access them without a decryption key.
"I have a contact at the FDA," he revealed. His wide smile reminded Astrid of how he'd looked when presented with the hot cocoa. Happiness suited someone who'd experienced so much pain in his life. "He knows my usual decryption key. I'll have everything sent off and sorted as soon as you give me the word."
Astrid nodded. "Sally, can you send me the file copy I asked you to keep?"
The receptionist saluted her and set to work, ripping her computer out of the black computer case she'd left on the table. Leave it to Sally to take her work everywhere she went. "There you go!"
Astrid had X input his e-mail and attached her files to Sally's message before forwarding it t
o him. "I never want to see those pills again," she said after X leapt up to work his magic. "You don't understand how bad it smelled in there. It was like rotten eggs, dried puke, and expired fruit all in one."
"Thanks for the imagery," Tom muttered.
Sally nestled herself next to Astrid's cocoon and laid her head on the Astrid's shoulder. "I wonder what happened," she said. "Who do you think was the one who tried to flush it?"
"I wonder if it was the grandmother," Winston interjected. "Think about it. Whoever did it was trying to get rid of them. I could see why the family would try to dump it, but what about the teeth and the fingernails? If it was the grandmother, she'd be falling apart anyway."
"They didn't clean the bathroom," Astrid said. "The alchemists wiped their minds of any mention of the drug. They wouldn't even have thought to look for it. But what about the stuff that was clean?"
"You said they were all dressed weirdly, right? Maybe it was part of their programming," X hopped back in. "That's how the alchemists refer to it."
Whatever it was, Astrid felt sick just thinking about it. They'd ruined that poor family's life, and the Coopers were none the wiser.
Her friends trailed out once they were sure she was in Nova's care. Nova made sure to feed Astrid nothing but tea and soup, which Astrid quickly realized were thinly veiled potions. X promised to stop by again and bring her real food to celebrate their win against the alchemists.
If we win, she'd thought.
But that came days later, when Nova was channel surfing and Astrid was attempting to construct her response to Giovanni. He deserved one after she disappeared on him.
"Astrid," her aunt said, shaking her arm. "Listen."
The volume increased until the reporter's voice shook the apartment. "And in local pharmaceutical news, the Saint Paul alternative drug giant VidaCo is facing charges of malpractice and coercion. The FDA has forced them to cease trading due to the manufacture of a fake 'miracle drug'. The compound was analyzed and revealed to be a mixture of preservatives and lizard teeth."
