by D T Dyllin
He was right. Of course, he was right. I knew in my heart if I actually had the chance to go back to the way things were before, I wouldn’t take it. I simply wished things were actually as simple as I thought they were before, even though they never actually were anything but complicated.
“Let me just talk to some of my friends before we go,” Jenna said over her shoulder before skulking off into the woods. By friends, I knew she meant of the local little furry persuasion.
“At least we have an entire team with us,” Bryn muttered.
“Yeah, that’s at least lucky,” Jeremy agreed. “Maybe we should try contacting some of the other teams that are centered around the other gates. Surely they haven’t been affected by all of this. Maybe the Riders don’t even know about them yet.”
“I’ll send out some scouts,” said Khol. “We’ll know shortly who our allies really are.”
Jenna came scurrying back to our little group with a grim look of determination on her face. “The good news is that my friends are able to see the Riders inside of people, too. That could come in handy in the future.”
“Yes. We can use any help we can get.” Khol bared his teeth in a mock smile. “Now let’s get out of here before we’re spotted.”
“I kind of liked our other accommodations better,” Jenna grumbled as she slumped down onto her makeshift bed that was nothing more than an air mattress with a bunch of blankets.
Macon smiled at her indulgently. “This is only for tonight, and then we’ll figure out something better. I’ll stay here with you.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Jenna muttered as Macon disappeared to probably get more unnecessary things for her. When he was gone, she scooted over to sit by me and rolled her eyes in exasperation. “I wish he would just give me a little space, you know?”
“You seemed really into him before. What happened?”
“He just wants sex all the time. I’ll be lucky if he doesn’t break me,” Jenna said with a sigh.
I couldn’t help but laugh. “Could it actually be true? Could you have actually met your match?” Wow. Who would have thunk it?
Jenna scrunched her face up at me with annoyance and flipped her rapidly fading rainbow hair over her shoulder. “I guess I never had a guy stay interested in me for so long.” She glanced around to make sure Bryn, Jeremy, and Khol were still setting other things up around the cave and not paying attention to us, before leaning in to whisper, “What do you do with Bryn?”
“What do you mean?”
“You know—when he wants to get it on and you’re not in the mood, or he wants to do something you’re really not into?” She stared at me waiting for my answer.
“Well, Bryn and I haven’t been having sex all that long, but—” Had I ever not been in the mood when Bryn wanted me? Had I ever not been into something he wanted to do to me? My cheeks reddened as I realized the truth. I didn’t know if I could actually deny Bryn anything he wanted from me. He owned me in a way I wasn’t sure I wanted to let anyone else know about. Of course, I knew in my heart that Bryn would never be able to deny me anything either—he was mine as much as I was his—but things like that are still hard to explain to an outside party. “B-but—” I stammered again. I didn’t want to tell Jenna, but at the same time, with her Speaker abilities, she’d probably figure it out eventually and just be mad at me for not telling her to begin with. I really didn’t need the headache. “But whenever and wherever Bryn wants it, I don’t deny him. I just don’t want to. I love him too much.”
Shock played across her features. “So you’re telling me that no matter what, you’d give him what he wanted?”
I thought about it for a second, just to make sure before answering. “Yeah, I guess that’s exactly what I’m saying.” When Jenna didn’t say anything right away, I had the urge to explain more since it was already out there. “I love him. I mean, I love him with everything that I am. I would lay down my life for his. Hell, I almost did,” I said, thinking about my botched suicide attempt.
Jenna started twirling a piece of her rainbow hair around her fingers, her eyes glazing over. “I wish I could find that.”
Warmth bloomed in my chest as I thought about how lucky I was to have Bryn, and I, too, wished that someday Jenna would find with someone what I had with him. “Me, too. So Macon’s not him? Even with his superior Dragon lover skills?”
Jenna flopped onto her back and exhaled loudly. “No, he’s not him. Even with his superior Dragon lover skills.” She sighed again, making me smile at her dramatics. “I wonder what’s going on with our parents right now?”
I frowned, not wanting to think of the possibilities. In fact, I had been trying very hard not to think about that subject at all, hence why I had let her distract me with her sex talk without any of my usual complaints. “I think it’s best not to contemplate the possibilities so we don’t drive ourselves insane.” I stood and walked over to where the boys were talking quietly to each other in harsh voices. My brows drew together as I strained to hear what they were saying, but as I got closer, they all shut up completely. “Hey,” I said, knowing when people were trying to hide things from me. “What were you guys talking about?”
Secretive glances passed between the three of them before Bryn rose and gave me a tight-lipped smile. “Nothing you need to worry about.” He reached out one of his large hands to snag mine, but I batted it away with annoyance.
“Don’t think you can keep secrets from us and tell me it’s nothing.” I turned my suspicious glare on each of them in turn. “Now, who’s going to tell me what you guys were whispering about just now?”
By this time Jenna had come up to stand beside me with an angry expression to match mine. “Yeah. No secrets. You guys better spill it before it gets ugly in here.”
Khol stood, his eyes meeting my gaze. “It might be best if you didn’t know for now.”
“No,” I said, bunching my fists into tight little balls. “No secrets.”
Bryn glanced back at Khol and Jeremy, letting another guarded look pass between them before he nodded once tightly at me. “All right, it’s just we didn’t want to upset you any more.”
“Stop stalling and tell us,” Jenna exclaimed as she threw her hands in the air. I looked to Bryn, waiting for him to explain.
He cleared his throat and shifted nervously before he finally told us. “We’re the last ones left,” he blurted out. “The last complete team of Seer, Guardian, GateKeeper, and Speaker not in custody of some sort.”
I blanched. There was no way I was hearing what I thought I was hearing—absolutely no way. “Holy shit,” Jenna whispered beside me, obviously just as shocked as I was.
“It’s true,” Khol said. “My scouts just reported back to me. Those creatures—”
“You mean the Riders?” Jenna asked for clarification.
Khol tilted his head and looked at her. “Yes, the Riders, if that’s what we’re calling them now. They appear to have planted themselves in every major government in the world. They—”
“So it’s all up to us?” I interrupted. My world tilted, and I clutched at Bryn for support. The full implications of what Khol was saying were finally sinking in. “We’re the world’s first and last hope—literally?” Bryn’s warmth engulfed me as he wrapped his arms fully around me. “We haven’t even graduated from high school yet, and it’s up to us to save our entire world?” The cave grew silent as everyone thought about what was now fully resting on our shoulders.
How the hell were we going to pull this one off?
21
“It’s just not fair,” Jenna whined for the umpteenth time as she studied herself in the mirror before meeting my gaze in the reflection. Her deep brown eyes brimmed with unshed tears that she furiously batted back with her eyelashes. “I’m so plain now—just plain ugly.” With that the dam broke, and wetne
ss flowed down her face.
I struggled not to roll my eyes at her obvious pain and returned my attention to my own drastically altered image in the mirror. My long, silky, dark auburn locks had been shorn off into a short angled bob, the front longer than the back. I still had chunky pieces of auburn in my hair, but the majority of it was now a midnight black. “I’ll trade you,” I said with a sigh. Jenna’s only response was a guttural sob.
“You look beautiful,” Macon cooed to Jenna as he appeared and dropped down on his haunches in front of her. He lifted his arm to show her the offering of flowers that he had brought to cheer her up. “You’ll never be plain; you just look more . . . natural now.”
I grimaced at his choice of words. Clearly, just because Macon had been having sex with Jenna, didn’t mean he knew her at all. “Natural?” Jenna stood and snatched the flowers from Macon’s hands. “Who the hell wants to look natural?”
Unable to resist, I waved my hand in the air and scrunched up my face. “Umm. Hello? Me. I would love to have a shade of hair that looks like I could have been born with it. Not this”—I tugged at my black and red do for emphasis—“punk rock wet dream.”
“My hair is brown,” Jenna hissed at me. “It’s the color of shit.”
“You know what, Jenna? It actually is the best I’ve seen your hair since I’ve known you, but besides that—well—” I tried to clamp down on my anger the best that I could. “It’s not about just us anymore. Do you think I want my hair to look like this? Do you think my self esteem is soaring when I look at myself in the mirror?” I breathed in and out a few times before continuing on. “Do you think I want to live in these caverns, even if they look like one of those home makeover shows got a hold of them? It’s up to us to save our world, and if going through some unwanted makeovers—both in our appearance and living conditions—helps, then you’re going to just have to suck it up.”
“Easy for you to say, your hair doesn’t look like shit—literally.”
I threw my hands up in the air in utter exasperation. “I can’t deal with you anymore right now,” I said as I swiveled on my heel and stalked out of the room. Jenna was my best female friend, and there was a time when I probably would have been as distraught over my hair as she was hers, but . . . things had changed. I had changed.
I let my feet carry me blindly as my thoughts turned pensive. What if our efforts all turned out to be useless? What if my little band of misfits just didn’t have what it took to defeat the alien riders that were trying to take over our world?
“I feel your worry, my little Seer.” Khol’s deep voice startled me from my internal list of worries—the what ifs of self doubt.
I looked up to see his large 6'7" frame leaning against a tree to the right of me, his dark auburn hair illuminated by the late afternoon sun making it blaze like fire. I decided to overlook his term of endearment for me because, after all, with me being bonded to Bryn, it had little meaning anymore—except to him maybe. “I really don’t like that you can still feel my emotions. That shouldn’t be happening with me being bonded to Bryn.”
Khol pushed himself off the tree and strolled towards me, but I didn’t miss the bitterness that showed from behind his glowing green eyes. “As if you have any idea what’s normal or not with an Anam Cara Dragon pair.” He let out a long deep sigh. “Besides, the two of you are hardly typical, neither of you being fully Dragon.” He began to walk, and I followed behind him, a part of me wanting to comfort him. Khol was in love with me, and being fully Dragon meant he always would be—not my fault—but I wished it didn’t have to be that way. I wished that he, too, could find true happiness like I had found with Bryn.
“I don’t want your pity,” Khol rasped harshly, turning to face me. “Never give me your pity.” I stopped abruptly where I was and stared up into Khol’s angry face. I knew the anger was simply covering his pain, so I wasn’t frightened. I knew that he would never hurt me. He had already sacrificed his own happiness for my own when he let me take Bryn as a mate despite his prior claim. Even though it only took my attempted suicide to make him understand that I would do anything for Bryn, and that he stood no real chance.
“No pity,” I said as I reached my hand up to touch his arm. “I just wish I could comfort you, make you feel better. I . . . regret the way things have turned out for you.”
Khol shifted into my touch, and I felt him relax just a little. A sad smile turned up his lips slightly. “What I would need to be comforted, you would be unwilling to give.”
I let my hand fall away from him. “No, you’re right. I’m not willing to give you what would really make you feel better.”
Khol’s hand snaked out to grasp some of my hair between his fingers. “I’m glad you listened to me and left some red in your hair.” He frowned as he watched my baby fine strands slip out of his grasp. “It’s necessary to alter your appearance, but you still must hold on to the core of who you really are: a Rua Arach.” I had the feeling he was talking about more than just my hair color. Had he been sensing some of the intrinsic changes that had been slowly taking place over the last couple of weeks? It was as if my hair was simply another symptom—a visible one—of my internal makeover. The old P.J. was too soft, too concerned with unimportant things. I had to become someone who could handle whatever my new life would throw my way.
It was then that Bryn appeared suddenly beside me, his dark blue eyes narrowing briefly at Khol before he swept me up in his arms with a laugh. “I think I finally got this teleporting thing down, Peej.” His full, supple lips met mine, and I allowed his tongue to sweep in briefly to explore my mouth before I pulled away.
I met Khol’s sad eyes, and I gave him a weak smile. “Don’t worry, I wouldn’t feel like me if I didn’t have some red in my hair. I guess that’s the Dragon side of me.”
“Yes. Most likely,” Khol responded flatly before popping out. I was no longer surprised when he did that, but it didn’t make it any less rude. At least say goodbye or something to let a girl know you’re about to disappear. Geeze.
“I don’t like you being alone with him,” Bryn grumbled.
Choosing to ignore Bryn’s ever present jealously of Khol, I gave Bryn a genuine smile. “I’m so happy for you that you have the whole teleportation thing down.” I stuck my lower lip out in an exaggerated pout. “But it’s so not fair that I don’t seem to be able to do that, not to mention your other abilities from your Guardian side.”
“Nice aversion tactics, Peej. The queen of subtlety, as always.”
“It’s not like I care if you know what I’m doing. You’re being ridiculous, and you should know it. It’s just I’m not really in the mood to tell you that—again.” I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at him.
He let out a loud, long, and pained sigh. “I just can’t help feeling territorial around you with him. Blame it on my Dragon side. I don’t know, even with knowing how things are, I still . . . Well, I still . . .” Bryn’s voice trailed off as he let his eyes fill me in on what he couldn’t say out loud. He still couldn’t get the mental image of Khol and me in bed together out of his mind. He hadn’t actually seen it with his own eyes, but we all know that sometimes what we imagine is so much worse than the truth.
“I—well, I—” What could I say that he didn’t already know? I had let Khol claim me to save Bryn’s life. Yes, it had brought me physical pleasure, but it had ripped my heart out in the process. Seeing the pain in my face, Bryn grimaced briefly before stepping forward to take me in his arms. “That wasn’t fair. I’m sorry. I’ll get over it. I love you too much not to.”
I leaned back in the confines of Bryn’s arms to study him. His was the face of a fallen angel, or what I imagined one might look like. Pale, flawless skin was drawn taut over high cheekbones, a perfectly sculpted straight nose hung over full supple lips, and his black hair all made him a study in contra
sts. I’d known his face practically all of my life, and when I looked into it, I felt at home in every sense of the word. “I hate it, too, Bryn. I wish that I hadn’t had to let him claim me to save your life—but I had no other choice. You know that.” Tears that I hadn’t known were forming spilled from my eyes and rolled down my cheeks. “I wish my number was still one.” I choked back a sob as I thought about the fact that I could never again claim Bryn as my only lover. I wished for maybe the millionth time for that fact to be untrue, but I couldn’t change the past, no matter how hard I wanted to.
Bryn buried his face in my hair and inhaled. “It doesn’t matter. None of it does, not really. We’re together now—Anam Caras—and we love each other. I hate that I let it get to me sometimes.”
“No, Bryn, it’s not your fault. I don’t know how you do it. I would curl into a ball and die if the situation were reversed.” I fisted his T-shirt in my hands and closed my eyes. “I kissed Khol and Jeremy while you were gone, I betrayed you in more ways than one . . .” Another sob stole the rest of my words. If I had found out he had done the same thing to me, I probably really would have curled into a ball and died.
Bryn squeezed me tighter to him. “Let’s not think about any of that anymore. We’re together now. Forget about the rest.” He dipped his head to nip at my earlobe before nibbling on the side of my jaw. I exhaled all the tension I had been feeling and melted into his embrace. “I love you, Peej, more than anything.”
“I love you, too,” I murmured as Bryn’s hands slid down my body to mold my languid form to his firm, hard one. I let myself luxuriate in the feeling of being surrounded by him for a few moments before pulling away. I met his eyes briefly before focusing over his shoulder, not wanting to get sucked in by the heat for me I saw in them. “We really don’t have time for that now. We need to get back—” My words were swallowed by Bryn’s fierce kiss, temporarily blanking my mind, which I’m sure was his goal. I moaned into his mouth as his large callused hands slipped under my sweater to skim my suddenly overheated skin.
