"And if she wakes up?"
"One of us will come and get you."
I shook my head. "No. I need to be here when she wakes." If it were the other way around she would be the first person I'd want to see. "A strong coffee would be good though."
I stood up, stretching my aching legs. It was strange how you could do absolutely nothing and still ache, guess it didn't help that I was constantly holding myself in awkward positions, too tense to relax.
Brushing my fingertips over her hair, I said, "Come on, wake up, sweetheart."
"She will when she's ready, Logan," Cass said softly.
Nell gently nudged Chloe's leg. "Chlo loves her sleep."
I was just about done with the reassurance, too. They all meant well but the only person that could make this okay was Chloe. She had to wake up. I'd lost her too many times. She was finally mine and I hadn't even had the chance to make her nauseously happy yet.
I couldn't take my eyes off her; she looked so perfect it made my heart swell. "She's ready. She loved her sleep but when have you ever known her to sleep this long before?"
"He's right," Jace said. "Six hours and she was more than ready to get up."
She'd been getting less sleep than that recently. We'd both been running on four or five but it was so fucking worth it.
Nell smiled. "I know, but this is different. She's never been..."
"Run over before?" I said, feeling so fucking angry I wanted to find the prick that hit her and rip him apart.
Biting her lip, she looked down, wincing.
"Nell, Cassie, why don't you get the drinks?" Jace said, handing Cass his wallet.
With a nod, Cass took it and left the room. Nell followed after a heartbeat.
I ran my hands over my face. I hadn't meant to be so hostile to her. "Fuck it," I snapped, pulling my hair. "Why won't she just fucking wake up?" I was, quite literally, losing it.
Jace pulled my arm, making me look at him. "Calm down, Logan."
"I can't calm down. She was meant to wake up hours ago. Is she gonna die, Jace? Am I going to lose her?" Shit. I couldn't lose her.
"She's not going to die."
I was breathing heavily, trying to keep it together and stay strong when I had never felt so weak in my life.
"She can't die," he added.
She could, though. Everyone was going to die at some point, Chloe wasn't immune to death because I loved her, needed her. She was human and she'd been injured.
I turned away, not wanting to think about the worst outcome anymore.
***
Half an hour and a lot more stressing later, her hand finally flinched in mine. I leapt forward. "Chloe!" I said, studying her face.
"What?" Cass and Jace asked in unison.
"She moved her hand." I leant closer, using my other hand to stroke her cheek. "Chlo, sweetheart, can you hear me?"
She fluttered her eyes, frowning. And then they opened for the briefest second. She looked tired and groggy but she was still impossibly beautiful. "Logan?" she whispered.
I felt like fucking crying.
"Yeah," I said, smiling so wide it hurt. "I'm here, everything's okay. Can you open your eyes again?" I need to see your eyes.
She did and as soon as saw that bright amber staring back at me I could breathe again.
"Hey," I whispered.
"What happened?" Her voice was throaty and rough.
"Cass, can you get her some water and tell the nurse she's awake?" Nodding with tears in her eyes, my sister leapt up and headed for the door. "How're you feeling?"
"My stomach hurts and my throat is dry. What happened, Logan?"
"You were hit."
"I remember the car," she said as if she was miles away. What was going through her head?
"I'm so sorry, Chloe. If I hadn't come back or started that fight you wouldn't have been there."
"Shut up," I hissed. I'd had enough of this I shouldn't come back, should've let you continue to believe I was dead shit.
Chlo swallowed. "It's not your fault."
Jace opened his mouth to say something else but she shook her head. "Don't. You couldn't have known, no one could. I'm okay now. Are you?" she asked us both but looked up at me.
"We're both fine," I said, squeezing her hand. "Well, I am now."
"Bit worried, were ya?"
I smirked. "Just a little."
"I'll go see where Cass is," Jace said, ducking out of the room as quickly as he could. He hadn't really seen us as a couple that much so I understood that it was awkward and uncomfortable for him but she'd just woken up and I wasn't about to hold back.
"How badly hurt was I?"
"You're going to be fine but there was internal bleeding."
"Oh," she whispered. "That... sucks."
I laughed, feeling the prickle of tears working up from my gut. "Yeah, it sure does... suck. I was so scared, Chlo. Watching you fall to the floor like that was the most horrific thing I'd ever seen. You're not allowed to die before me. Got it?"
"Logan, I don't think you can choose."
"No, I can. I choose to go first, when we're old and grey and I can't get it up anymore. Actually, I might want to go the second I can't get it up but we'll cross that bridge when and if we come to it."
"Neither of us are going anywhere for a long time. I was promised forever and a day, remember?"
"I remember. I love you, sweetheart."
Her eyes danced even though she was clearly in some discomfort. "I love you, too."
I didn't get any longer to talk to her or do something big and possibly stupid like propose because Jace and Cass came back armed with a jug of fresh water and a nurse.
"Hi, Chloe, how are you feeling?"
"Sore and thirsty," she replied.
"Well, I can help with both of those," the nurse said, pouring a glass of water and getting me to help Chlo drink it while she administered a dose of morphine through the IV.
"I'll just step out and make a couple phone calls, let everyone know she's awake," Cassie said. "Glad you're back, Chlo. You scared the crap outta us."
Chloe released the straw from between her lips and smiled. "Yeah, sorry about that. Got run over and all..."
Okay, I wasn't at all ready for jokes. I put her drink on the side, ignoring the urge to snap. I didn't want to make her feel bad and I definitely didn't want her to be angry with me.
"I'll be back in a minute," Cass replied, giving Chloe's leg a little pat.
Nell stepped forwards from where she'd been standing, silently crying. "If you ever do anything like that again I will kick that tiny arse of yours into next year."
"Good to see you too, Nelly," Chlo whispered.
Nell pointed at her. "Imma let that one go."
Smiling like a moron, I laid my forehead on her hand, hiding a tear while she exchanged some colourful banter with her friend.
Chapter Forty-Seven
Chloe
"Chloe!" Mum said, rushing through the door and almost knocking Logan over. He'd been pacing, trying to keep himself awake because he refused to sleep until I did and I wanted to wait up for my parents. It was half past one in the morning. Jace, Cassie and Nell had been kicked out an hour ago. Well, Nell had been kicked out half an hour ago because on the first round of kick outs she hid under the bed.
"Hey, Mum, Dad."
I was wrapped in two pretty tight but very careful hugs and inspected thoroughly. They must have decided I really was okay because they breathed a sigh of relief and sat back on the edge of the bed.
"How are you feeling? I'm so sorry we were so far away, love."
"Mum, chill. It's fine. I'm fine. Morphine's kicked in and I'm being looked after," I said, looking up at Logan. The only times he'd left my side was to get me fresh water and I was sure he ran to get it because I wasn't even alone for thirty seconds.
"God, we were so worried. Don't you ever do that again," Dad said. I'd not seen him cry before. I didn't like it.
"Dad, really,
I'm okay. Tired but okay."
"Sleep if you're tired. We're not going anywhere," he replied, kissing the top of my head the way he'd done since I was little.
As tired as I was I didn't want to sleep. I was shaken up about the accident but Logan was being a baby about sleep so I knew if I wanted that stubborn boy to sleep I had to.
"You have to sleep, too," I said, raising my eyebrow, challenging him to disagree.
He nodded and patted the chair. "Got my bed ready." Leaning over, he gave me a soft, chaste kiss and settled in the chair.
The ward was as dark as it could be and it was quiet. Dad left after twenty minutes because there wasn't room for a fourth person to sleep in here and I was too exhausted to stay awake any longer.
Logan had pretended to be asleep as the nurse told my parents that only two people could stay so one of them had to leave. I tried to keep a straight face as I watched Logan sit still as a statue and breathe in and out evenly.
"Get some sleep," Mum whispered, kissing my cheek. She sat back and wrapped a blanket over her lap.
"Night, Mum."
"Good night, Chloe."
***
I woke up just as the sun was rising. Logan and my mum were still asleep in the two high back chairs on either side of the bed.
I pushed myself up with my arms, careful not to put any pressure on my stomach muscles. Jace gave me a lovely visual about stitches ripping open yesterday so I was extra cautious about moving slowly and not having the sealed cut on my stomach bursting.
It took me a little while to sit up but I managed it and instantly felt a little better, a little less helpless.
Beside me, Logan stirred, his head at an awkward position. He groaned and rubbed his neck. He went from sleepy to wide-awake in an instant as he must have realised he was in hospital. Striking blue topaz eyes took me in.
"Hey, you okay?" he asked, moving from the chair to the side of the bed. "Been awake long?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just woke up. How did you sleep?"
He smiled, not answering my question so I knew that meant awful but he wasn't about to complain about it.
"Think you could speak to a nurse for me, I'd really like to be able to go to the toilet."
"You don't have to worry about that, sweetheart."
I took a deep breath. There was nothing I wanted more than to have this catheter out and I was promised this morning it could go. No one was going to convince me to have it in for another second. "Logan, I swear if you start talking about this I'm going to jump out of the window. Please, just go and get a nurse."
He smiled, amused, and kissed my forehead. "Sure. Do you want a coffee? I'll run to the machine too."
"The machine or Starbucks across the road?"
He chewed his lip nervously.
"Come on, my mum's with me and you need to get out of this hospital, even if it's just for five minutes." I pouted. "And I could really do with a decent cup of coffee. Please, Logan?"
"Okay. I'll get a nurse and then run down there."
"You're the best."
"Don't forget it."
"I love you."
I wasn't sure what I loved more, hearing him say it back or his reaction to when I said it. He looked so happy it made every part of me ache.
"I love you, too," he said and kissed me. "I'll be ten minutes, max."
"See you in a bit."
Mum woke up just as the nurse had finished removing the catheter, which was a particularly hideous experience.
"How're you feeling, love?"
"I'm fine, need a wee though, can you help me up?"
She was off her chair and by the side of the bed before I'd swung my legs over the side. I held onto her until I'd steadied myself, letting the initial head rush from laying and sitting for so long pass.
"Thanks, I'm okay now."
She didn't let go though; she walked with me to the bathroom. "Where's Logan?"
"Starbucks. I needed him gone while the catheter was being removed and I need a decent caffeine hit."
Logan was back when I'd finished in the bathroom. "Want help?" he asked.
"I can walk fine," I teased. "You're going to get an ulcer with all that worrying."
He shrugged and held his hand out. I let him because it was a lot easier than arguing. Logan helped people, he fixed things and if he couldn't he felt crappy about it.
When I was back in bed I was handed a large cappuccino. Mum watched us from her chair, sipping her skinny latte with a smile on her face.
"You spoken to Dad?" I asked.
"I texted him while you were in the bathroom. He'll be here at eight."
"How was your trip? You ready to tell me yet?"
I grabbed Logan's arm as he went to move away from me to go back to his chair. He took the hint, wrapping one arm around me as he sat on the bed. His other hand retrieved his coffee and he watched me and Mum, absentmindedly tracing circles on my forearm. It was really nice and very distracting.
"It was lovely, right up until we got the call telling us our child was in hospital, then a holiday was the last place in the world I wanted to be."
"Sorry."
I knew Logan would be frowning at me but I kept eye contact with Mum. "Don't apologise, Chloe! We're just so glad you're okay."
"Have the police been in touch?" I asked, looking at Logan.
"They spoke to me and Jace while you were in surgery and might want to talk to you today, if you're up for it. Don't worry about that now," he replied, kissing my shoulder.
"But I do worry about it," I said.
"Okay." He took my hand and squeezed. "The boy has admitted everything so he'll just be charged."
"That's good then." I think. I wasn't so sure. The driver deserved to pay for leaving after he'd hit me but it wasn't intentional. I smiled. They would want him to be locked up.
I took a deep breath and pushed the thoughts away. My whole life in the last few months had been a lot to take in and my brain was scrambled from trying to make sense of it all. I was pretty much ready to wake up from it or have Ashton Kutcher jump out and tell me I'd been Punk'd already.
"He won't get away with it. Everything's fine, Chloe." He kissed my hand and added, "I love you."
That was exactly what I needed to hear. Smiling, I mouthed I love you, too.
Chapter Forty-eight
Chloe
I was ready to leave the hospital about an hour after I woke up so by now I was going insane. All I wanted to do was to get home and put the accident behind me.
Logan squeezed my hand. Since first thing this morning he'd only left my side to go to the bathroom. It took a lot of convincing to get him to go get a coffee from downstairs and take another five minutes to breathe. He'd literally taken five minutes before he came back and he still looked a little stressed.
"I'm okay," I said.
He was having a hard time with that. Physically he knew I was okay but Logan worried about the people he loved excessively. He'd be stressing over my injuries and just about anything else his mind would conjure.
"Yeah," he replied, rubbing his eyes with the hand that hadn't been attached to mine since I woke up, before that too, probably.
"Why don't you go get some sleep? My parents will be back soon so I won't be alone."
He was already shaking his head before I'd finished. "I'm staying."
If I wanted him to go I was going to have to call security. Trouble was, I didn't really want him to leave.
"She's right, Logan," Jace said. "Me and Cass are leaving when Mum and Dad get here. Why don't you come with us and get a decent night's sleep. I'll bring you back here first thing."
"Look, I appreciate your concern, all of you, but I am not leaving this room. That's the end of it."
Sighing, I resigned myself to the knowledge that he was absolutely not going anywhere. Maybe I could get him to sleep in the bed with me tonight or he could have a camp bed in here.
"I can't wait to go home," I said, trying to change t
he subject from Logan's lack of personal wellbeing.
"Hopefully tomorrow, sweetheart," Logan said.
It had better be tomorrow.
"Logan, Cass, do you think you could give me and Jace a few minutes, please?" I asked.
Looking at me confused for a second, Logan released my hand. "Yeah, sure."
"I'll take Logan to the cafe and try holding him there for longer than five seconds. You want me to bring you anything?"
"No, thanks. Just make sure that one gets some fresh air," I replied, nodding towards Logan.
Jace stayed where he was by the window, until they'd left. As the door closed he walked over and sat on the bed. "Is everything okay?" he asked.
"That's what I want to talk about. I'm hoping that after everything that's happened we could find a way of being friends. It's kind of driving me crazy not having you in my life. I miss you, Jace. I thought you were dead and you're not and I want to be able to dance for joy and spend time with you but..."
"But I'm making it impossible."
Well, yeah, he was. Me and Logan hadn't helped but nothing that happened we could have foreseen or controlled so there was no point in beating ourselves up about it.
"I am, too. When I put myself in your position it hurts so much and hurting you is the last thing I want."
"It's hard, Chloe. We were supposed to be for life."
"Jace, we were. I was with you and only you until the day I was made to believe you were dead. Everything changed that day. If I hadn't fallen in love with Logan we still wouldn't be together. There's too much that I couldn't forgive to go back to how it used to be."
He looked up to the ceiling. "The thought of being reunited with you was one of the things that kept me going. I almost called so many times but the fear of something happening to you or anyone else I love stopped me. When all I wanted to do was go home to you I pictured getting back together, sitting around the table with my family and holding your hand again."
"I wanted that, too, for a long time."
"So I was screwed either way. I could refuse to testify and maybe two terrorists would get off or go through with it and lose you."
"It's a shitty situation, Jace, but you're here now. Sometimes you have to sacrifice something you love in order to protect it. I'll never forget that the choice you made was to keep me and others safe. That matters."
"Where do we go from here? I don't know how to be your friend."
I smiled. "It's been a while, huh. We were good at it before we got together." Now I knew it wasn't going to be that easy, especially when there were feelings and a brother involved but I wasn't prepared to lose Jace again. "Can you do it? I don't want to hurt you more."
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