“I can’t lose you, Clara. I refuse to lose you. Who do you belong to?”
Any other time, I would have protested, but right then, I knew he craved those words from me. He needed them with such a rich intensity that the words came flying out. “You, Luca. Always you.”
My words seemed to hit home as he sped faster and faster until I thought my head would spin. Wrapping my legs around his waist, I pulled him into me deeper and deeper—harder and faster.
Too soon, the build-up came. I could feel it right down to the tips of my fingers and toes. I was going to climax, and it was going to be one of the best I had ever felt.
“Now, Clara!” Luca shouted, and that was it. I was gone completely. My orgasm rolled and pumped through me like a gush of water. It just kept going and going until I thought I wouldn’t be able to breathe anymore.
“Clara!” Luca screamed as he pumped his release inside of me.
I was spent and relaxed, resting in his arms. I didn’t want to move. As our breathing calmed, I took time stroking his hair. Doing that to him always seemed to relax me.
“I love you, Clara.”
I kissed his head with a smile. “I love you, too.”
We stayed like that for an age—just savouring every moment we shared with each other. I loved moments like those with him. It was like we were completely cut off from everyone and everything around us. Nothing else mattered but us.
Hearing Luca’s shallow breathing, I knew he was soundly off to sleep. I imagine that—like me—he hadn’t slept very well the previous night. Lying there and stroking his head, I could feel my own eyelids becoming heavy. It wasn’t long before I had to admit defeat and shut my eyes for a peaceful sleep.
Upon waking, I felt a little disorientated. I quickly realised where I was and felt the bed for Luca. When I couldn’t feel anything, I opened my eyes. He wasn’t there.
Sitting up, I spotted a note on my pillow.
“I’m going to make this right for us, amore mio. Please wait for me. I will return. I’m going to do something I thought I would never do… I’m going to break my promise.”
Luca
Cefalù, Sicily
Coming back to my hometown made me feel both nostalgic and somewhat sick to my stomach at the same time. I never thought in a million years that I would break my promise to Mama. I had to, though—for the one I loved. I had to come here and get answers. I had some much-needed digging to do regarding my beloved wife. Every time I thought about her, I felt murderous. It was one thing to trap me, but it was another thing entirely to involve Clara in our shit.
It was easy at first to let Isabella call all the shots. I let her at my money, and in return—most of the time—she would stay out of my way and let me get on with things. I fucked women every chance I got, and she knew it. I did it because she knew it.
I stood in front of my old house and took in some deep breaths. It had been fourteen years since I had been there last, and it was almost like it was yesterday. Not much had changed. The house was still there, and as far as I was aware, my mother still lived there.
“How are you feeling, boss?” Alessandro looked at me quizzically.
Knowing I had to come here, I left Tony behind to take care of Clara and had taken Alessandro with me. He was just as eager to come here as I was. He missed Sicily. I had missed it too, but it held some bad memories—especially in this house—along with the good ones.
“I’m fine. It’s just been a long since I’ve seen my old house.” I made up that excuse, since I couldn’t let it be known just how nervous I was deep down. My mama was going to kill me for this.
Deciding it was now or never, I took my first steps towards the house. I was about to knock when the door swung open. Before me stood a younger version of myself.
“Pietro, is that you?” His face crinkled as he tried to get a better look at me, but then I thought he saw it. Recognition.
“Luca? It can’t be. Can it?”
I smiled at Pietro, my younger brother. He was a little bit smaller than I, but still robust. Our whole family had strong genes.
As we hugged each other, I let the euphoria take over. We patted each other’s backs like men, and then he invited us to come inside.
“Alessandro will stay out here for now, but I will come inside. There is much that needs to be discussed.”
I stepped inside, taking in the familiar sights and smells. The kitchen had been upgraded, but it still looked much the same. I didn’t realise seeing this again would affect me the way that it did.
“I bet it’s hard… Coming back here after what happened.”
I snapped my head up to meet Pietro’s eyes and wondered just how much he knew. “Where’s Mama?”
Pietro frowned deeply. “You mean you don’t know?”
I could feel the panic beginning to rise, so took a deep breath. “Pietro, where’s Mama?”
Pietro looked flustered and sat down. “I can’t believe you didn’t know.”
I was very quickly losing my patience. “Tell me where she is.”
Pietro’s eyes went wide. “She’s in prison. She killed Papa, and now she’s in prison. In fact, she will be released in three weeks. I thought that’s why you were here? Why haven’t you come before?”
Taking in such a shock like that almost had my knees buckling. No wonder my mama didn’t want me to come back or communicate in any way. She was taking the blame for what I had done. For what I had done.
With a pained sigh, I sat down at the table and rubbed my hands over my face. “Pietro, you must tell me what’s happened… From the beginning.”
Standing outside Cagliari prison, I took the sight in and shook my head. I felt sick. Sick that I was here, sick that my mother had been rotting in prison for something I had done, and sick for not breaking my promise sooner. I could have stopped this. I should stop this.
I walked through the front doors and was immediately greeted by a guard who proceeded to search me from top to bottom. I was getting angrier by the second, and I just wanted this fucker to get on with it.
A few seconds later, he nodded and let me proceed through the doors to a visiting area. I asked for special permission to be granted as I was her eldest son who hadn’t seen her in fourteen years. Fuck me … fourteen years!
Sitting down at the table in this little room, it seemed like an age I waited. The longer I waited, the more my leg shook with anticipation. It didn’t help that the walls needed a lick of paint. It just made my stomach grip even harder at the knowledge she had been here all this time.
After about ten minutes, the door finally opened—revealing my mama. She looked a little frail and older than I remembered. She was still beautiful, but I could tell that being in here all these years had taken its toll.
“Luca!” she said as she burst through the door.
Standing up, I gave my mama a great, big, warm hug, and breathed in her familiar calming smell.
At first, she was just as responsive as I was as she held me tight, but then she loosened her grip and faced me. A new emotion took over her face as she seemed to get angrier and angrier. And then, she did it… She slapped me right across the face. What was it with women wanting to slap me lately?
I held onto my cheek in shock. “Mama, what was that for?”
She sat down in the chair opposite me and huffed in my direction. “I told you never to come here. You made a promise to me, and you broke it. I’m going to be out in three weeks, and I was planning on coming to see you then.”
I rubbed my face, as I took my seat. “I had to come see you.”
“Why, Luca? Why? What is so important that you had to come here when I specifically told you not to?”
I smiled, leaning in further over the table. “I found her, Mama. She has the ring. Grandmama’s ring.”
Mama had a glint in her eye as she took my hand. “Who is she? Tell me.”
Feeling my heart swell with love and pride, I began telling her. “Her name is Cla
ra. She’s beautiful, Mama, and she’s stolen my heart. I want to marry her as soon as I can, but I have a big problem standing in my way.” Mama squeezed my hand and nodded her head. “I’m married to Isabella.”
Pushing my hand away, she got angry again. “How could you? How could you marry that girl after everything we went through? Why have you done this?”
I sighed. “She said she knew what I had done. Her father was in trouble and needed my help. She blackmailed me.”
She banged her fist on the table. “You stupid boy! Why did you let her to that to you? She knew about me being in here. Everyone in Cefalù knew what I did.”
I felt the guilt at the pit of my stomach. “Not what you did.”
Leaning forward, my mother’s face was stern. “Yes, what I did. I would have done it, Luca. I was tired of being beaten. I was tired of living my life being dictated to by your father. I was tired of him thinking he could push you around. If you hadn’t done what you did, then I would have. In fact, I was planning to that night, but you just got to it sooner.”
I was looking at my mother, completely shocked by her admission. No matter what had happened, she was still taking the fall for something I had done. “You should not be in here.”
Mama glared at me and laid her hands on the table. “Yes, I should. I’ve been here and been well looked after. I’ve almost done my time, and I will be out of here shortly. Once you leave here today, there will be no mention of this ever again. Do you hear me?” She saw my hesitation and glared even more. “Luca, what’s done is done. Justice has been served, and I have done my time for the crime of killing your papa. Do you hear me?”
I was hearing her loud and clear, but it still didn’t stop the blood pumping through my veins. It couldn’t stop the guilt which riddled through me like a full magazine of bullets.
“I hear you.”
Dipping my head down, I heard her sigh. “Good. Now, I have a list of things for you to do. And you must promise me that you will carry these tasks out.”
How could I say no to her after what she had done for me? I was willing to do anything for this woman. Anything to make up for the monumental fuck up of a son she had. “I promise.”
“You better keep these promises now. I mean it, Luca.” She raised her eyebrow before continuing. “First of all you must contact a lawyer and get rid of Isabella. She has absolutely nothing on you. You were foolish to think otherwise.” She didn’t need to tell me. I knew that was the first thing I was going to do anyway.
Nodding, she carried on. “Secondly you are to stay in Cefalù until my release. I want you to pick me up and stay with me at the house. It has been a long time since I’ve seen you. You are my first born, and I’m proud of you.”
Shaking my head in dismay, I sat up. “How can you say that after everything I’ve done?”
Mama immediately stood up and smacked me around the head. I threw my hands in the air. “What the…?”
Mama pointed at me. “You need to stop talking this nonsense. Remember, you are to make no mention of this anymore. I won’t take no for an answer this time.”
Laughing, I said, “Okay. Anything you say.”
She exhaled with a smile as she sank back in her chair. “Good. You must do all these things. But one thing you must do above all else is see to it that you get divorced from that witch. Until such time, Clara cannot see you. You cannot be with her in the knowledge that you are married to another. You need to have more respect for her than this. Do you hear me? You can briefly go back to England to sort out your divorce, but you will not see Clara. You will return and stay with me until such time as your divorce comes through.”
I ran my fingers through my hair and started panicking. “Jesus, Mama. That could take weeks—even months.”
Banging the table, she glared at me again. “I will not tolerate your bad behaviour. You will do as I instruct. You failed in your first promise… I can understand as you fell in love and wanted to see if you could find a way out no doubt. If Isabella contests it, tell her that you will notify the authorities that her father has been laundering money and dealing in drugs for the past fourteen years. That will soon shut her up.”
Shocked, I looked up at her determined face. “How do you know all this?”
At first, she looked indignant. “I am a mother; I know everything.”
Okay, that answers my question perfectly...
She smiled sweetly, making my own smile rise quickly. “Do some digging, Luca. I’m sure she will go away once you confront her. It will help speed up your divorce. I’m sure you have contacts. Get something on her if she digs her heels in, but whatever you do, don’t tell her of what happened. Make something up as to why you married her, but never admit what really took place. You can do that, can’t you?”
I leaned forward with a smile and gripped her hand. “Yes. I promise. And I do mean it this time.”
Just as she was about to respond the guard came in. “Time’s up.”
Mama turned her head back to me with a look of determination on her face. “Okay, now go. Remember everything I’ve said. Tell Pietro that I love him and will see him soon. Your sister’s Daniela and Chiara both live in Palermo now. You must pay them a visit.”
I nodded my head, stood up, and wrapped my arms around my mother. “I will see you soon. I love you.”
She gripped me tightly and kissed my cheek. “I love you, too. Just do the right thing by her. I’m sure if she truly loves you, she will wait, and the first thing you must do once I leave here is tell me all about her.” Cupping my face, she smiled. “I need to see my eldest boy marry. This is another promise that needs to be made.”
I laughed and placed my hands on her arms. “That goes without saying.”
Seeing the guard become impatient, my mother sighed. “I will go now, but my release date is the twentieth of March. I would like you and Pietro to pick me up.”
“Of course. Consider it done.”
“Goodbye, Luca. Remember what I said.” How could I forget? My mother was something else.
Laughing inside, I watched as my mother walked out the door. I still felt the guilt eating away inside of me, but a new feeling seemed to come over me. It was a wash of anger and elation all wrapped up in a tight, little bow.
Eager to get out of there, so I could get to my phone and call my lawyer, I grabbed the handle on the door and left the room. Once I had all of my belongings again, I was greeted by a smiling Alessandro as he opened the car door for me. “How was Sophia?”
I shook my head and laughed. “Still the same, stubborn, beautiful woman she always was.”
Not wanting to waste anymore time, I closed the door behind me. I had my phone in a tight grip and was frantically searching for my lawyer’s number.
After two rings, he answered the phone. “Thomas, it’s Luca. I need you to drop everything and get right onto something urgently. I don’t care how much it costs. I want it done, and I want it done yesterday.”
“Okay, Luca. What is it you need?”
I smiled brightly. “I’m getting a divorce.”
It had been nine weeks and four days since I woke up that morning and saw Luca’s note. Nine agonising weeks of wondering what the hell was going on. It was killing me inside—not knowing—and after a while, my desperation turned to anger. I was pissed at him for not getting in touch. I was pissed at him for not being there. And, I was pissed at him because I missed him so damn much.
Tony was no use at all. He just kept telling me to wait and that Luca was sorting everything out. “He will be back as soon as he can… Just be patient.” I wanted to smash his face in every time he said that. And he had been saying that every week for the past four weeks. It had gotten to the point where I wanted to hit him so badly it hurt. The only reason I didn’t was because I would have been hitting the wrong person. I so wanted to give Luca a good, old-fashioned slap across the kisser.
Tony was driving me back to The Castle after a shopping trip when I c
aught a glimpse of him out of the corner of my eye. I glanced up to the rear-view mirror for a clearer view and was surprised to find he was beaming at me. “What are you smiling at?”
“Nothing… I’m just happy today. That’s all.”
I folded my arms across my chest and stared out the window. “Well, you can tell that jerk-off next time you speak to him that I’m not happy at all. He’s not getting anywhere near me again. The chastity belt’s back, and it’s tighter than it ever was.”
Glancing back at Tony, he just smiled and winked. I took a deep breath, trying my hardest not to smile back. “Bastardo. Just shut up and drive.”
Tony gasped. “I didn’t say anything.”
“No, but I can hear you thinking. What’s wrong with you anyway? Did Belinda give you a blow-job this morning or something?”
I glanced back in the rear-view mirror and found Tony smiling cheekily at me. “Why? Are you jealous?”
I huffed. “Oh, please. Spare me. Why would I be jealous?” I looked away again and heard him laugh a little.
“You miss him. There’s nothing to be ashamed of in admitting that.”
I grunted back. “I don’t miss him; I hate him. There’s a big difference.”
Tony smiled and said no more. Instead, he shook his head and turned his attention back to the road.
Once we were outside The Castle, Tony came round to open my door. He still wore that stupid, silly grin. “What the hell is wrong with you today?”
“Nothing,” he blurted again. “I’ll take your bags up for you. You just go right on ahead.”
I shook my head at his annoying, unusual behaviour and took the stairs to the entrance. It was only once I walked in that I saw what the hell Tony had been smiling about all this time.
Feeling the tears brimming and my heart aching, I did what any normal person would do under the circumstances. I ran into his arms … all of my anger disappearing. “Luca!” I cried, breathing in his smell.
LUCA (Because You're Mine) (The Sicilian Mafia Series Book 2) Page 4
