by K C West
But we had to seek no longer … for we had sought and found The Lost Tribe. And now, they were sleeping forever in their caves in a tiny canyon, a canyon that was no longer there, on a mountainside that had undergone violent change. It was time for The Seekers to walk away and leave the Lost Tribe to their rest.
I scanned the group. The conversation was subdued. It was as if they all were very much aware that soon now, very soon, we’d be saying our good byes.
Gawd, you guys are the nearest to family I’ve ever known. Where do you all go from here? Where do I go, and where, PJ, do you go?
I was overcome by a deep sense of sadness, but as Director, I didn’t dare show it. Am I carrying this idiotic sense of aloofness too far? Will I never learn to be just a human being? I’ve put my personal life on hold for so long. When do I start to live again?
I gathered up a stack of used paper plates and cups and was dumping them into the trashcan behind the motor home when Josie approached.
“Do you have a moment to talk?”
“Sure. What do you have on your mind?”
“Something off the record and kinda personal.”
I took a deep breath and slid my hands in my pockets. “Okay, what’s the problem?”
“You.”
I frowned. “What?”
Josie held her ground. “You are. Walk with me, will you?” She headed off my motor home space and onto the driveway, which circled the Recreational Vehicle Park and led eventually to the entrance and the highway beyond.
Pup picked his head up when he saw me follow Josie. “No Pup, you stay.” He rested his muzzle on his paws but kept his eye on me.
Josie waited until we were out of hearing range before she spoke. She wasted no time coming to the point. “What are you going to do about PJ?”
I felt my heart rise into my throat. “Stop right here.” I turned to face Josie. “What about PJ?” Who knows about me…us? Worse yet, is it something bad or sad I should know about PJ?
“Don’t dance around this, Doc.” Her gray eyes met and held mine. “She’s in love with you. Don’t you know that?”
“She told you?”
“No, but you only have to see the way she looks at you. She adores the ground you walk on and if you don’t know that then you’re as blind as the proverbial bat.”
“Josie, this is none of your business.”
“I know that, Doc, but I’m making it my business because I care about you and PJ.”
“Obviously you know I’m gay?”
She nodded.
“How? Sandy must have told you, or PJ. Did they tell you and the others about the night my ex showed up here?”
Josie puckered her forehead, wincing in the process. That cut was obviously still sore. “What are you talking about? No one has spoken to me about anything.”
“But you said you knew.”
“I’ve known almost since the beginning, when I came to work for you. There were rumors, Doc. Besides, I’ve been around gay people … I have gay friends.”
“And you?”
“I’m straight.” She put her hand on my arm and smiled. “Look, Doc, I’m not trying to get into your personal life … it’s just that I admire you and I think PJ is great. Laine and I have been concerned about you for a long time. You seem so lonely.”
“It’s not—”
“And then when PJ arrived, she had you talking and laughing … relaxing. She is so good for you, Kim. Don’t you see that?”
“Josie, it’s more complicated than-“
“Anyway, I’m not playing Cupid … I just wanted you to know how PJ feels about you … just in case you have any feelings for her.”
“I see.” I scuffed the ground with the toe of my hiking boot. “Your candor is refreshing, Josie.” I reached for and lightly touched the patch on her forehead.
She gave me a bewildered look. “But—”
“I think we’d better get back to the others.”
She started to say something, but closed her mouth instead. “Yeah, I guess.”
We strolled back toward the motor home and the group who had assembled into chairs around PJ.
‘“Bout time you guys got back,” PJ said, handing us both a piece of Mrs. Arnold’s red velvet cake. She looked from one to the other of us. “What was so interesting anyway?”
Josie and I exchanged glances. “Josie had some data to share with me.”
“Yeah,” Josie added. “Doc is going to process it.”
I wasn’t sure our explanation had satisfied her curiosity.
“I’ll help you process your data, Josie,” Mike said with a grin.
Josie stuck her tongue out at him and wrinkled her nose.
“All right, people, settle down.” PJ’s tone was authoritative.
I was so proud of her. She had grown so much as an archaeologist. She had come to me with the knowledge but during her time with us, she had gained presence. She was director material and would be a voice to be reckoned with in scientific circles.
“Okay,” PJ said, silencing the chatter. “Take the weight off … I have two pieces of paper for you all, but first I’m going to make that speech.”
A chorus of groans greeted her opening salvo.
PJ stood up and smiled. “All right guys and gals, let’s just settle down, okay. You’re going to hear me out anyway so you might as well accept the punishment. The sooner you let me have my say the sooner you can all go home.”
“You have our attention,” Sandy said.
PJ produced a large manila envelope and opened it, making a big deal of clearing her throat.
“You’d better give up those cigarettes,” Mike said.
PJ grinned. “Thank you, Mike, for that unsolicited piece of advice.”
She cleared her throat again, an action that triggered a chorus of ‘Get on with it.’
“Okay, here goes. When I arrived here I had a reputation as a spoiled, rich playgirl who couldn’t keep her hands off a man.” She tugged at James’s shirt, only because he was sitting closest to where she was standing. He turned beet red. “While there was probably some truth to that, I learned a lot working on this project. I looked upon Kim as my mentor and she taught me plenty.”
She was interrupted by applause and smiled at me while waiting for the group to settle down.
I smiled back. And you, my dear, taught me more.
“But I learned a lot from all of you, too. Working alongside you has been a pleasure.” She smiled at the young faces that for the moment had eyes only for her. “Here is the first piece of paper.” She took several sheets out of the envelope and handed them to James. “They’re all the same. Just take one and pass the rest along.”
“Is this a quiz, PJ?” Donny asked with a grin.
PJ wrinkled her nose at him. “Yes…and your semester grades depend on it.”
“Oh, God,” Lewis and Dewey cried in unison.
“Take it easy, guys. It’s the information we have on two possible programs that you can join for the remainder of your term.”
“This is great.” Josie scanned the printed document.
“What a relief.” Donny fanned his face with the paper. “I was afraid I’d be wandering the streets with nothing to do for three weeks.”
PJ waved her hand for silence. “Pick one or the other and after you have finished those three weeks, you’ll get full credit for the semester.”
Sandy was reading his sheet. “That’s cool, PJ. Thanks.”
She looked at me. “Doc and I made some calls. We didn’t want you all to lose out on anything because of the quake.”
“Well, then, thanks to both of you.”
The others murmured their appreciation.
“No problem,” PJ assured them. “Now, as you are no doubt aware, I’m heir to Curtis Enterprises and The Curtis Foundation. There’s an obscene amount of money in those two organizations. It makes me nervous because I don’t always agree on how the money is spent. What good is all of it if it can’t be put to pro
ductive use?” She patted her manila envelope. “I’m going to change that today, by spending some of it wisely.” She slid out several sealed business sized envelopes. “Here, Sandy, see that they go to the right person, okay?”
Sandy matched the names on the envelopes with the right team member.
PJ folded the empty envelope. “Now, I’d appreciate it if you’d wait until everyone has his or hers before you open them.”
Donny laughed. “This feels like Christmas.”
“Either that or midterm grades,” Mike said.
The group gave a collective nervous laugh.
“Relax, it won’t hurt a bit.” PJ smiled. “I promise.” She cleared her throat again, grinning at the groans. “It gives me great pleasure to present each of you with a check from The Curtis Foundation to help you with your future studies. You may open your envelopes.”
“My God!” Laine shouted. “Twenty Thousand smacker-oonies!” She kissed the piece of paper.
“I don’t believe it!” James murmured.
“I was right. It is Christmas.” Donny’s smile was expansive.
There were more gasps as the significance of PJ’s words sank in.
“With dedicated young people like you working hard in this field, archaeology and its related sciences will be well-served. Kim and I are so proud of all you accomplished on this project and we look forward to watching you succeed in future endeavors.”
They cheered and applauded. They stood and mobbed PJ, giving her enthusiastic hugs and kisses, which she returned with warmth and genuine affection.
I was blown away by PJ’s generosity and flicked a tear from the corner of my eye. Then, the party wore down until there was nothing else to do but bid each other farewell.
And while the final disbanding of the group was sad, there was hope too, in the snippets of conversation that reached my ears as I was saying my goodbyes and hugging first one and then another. “Hey, we’ll keep in touch,” James was saying to Josie.
“I’ll email you,” someone said.
“Listen,” Sandy said, raising his voice, “next May Laine and I earn our doctorates. I’ve asked Doc to assist me at the hooding ceremony. I’d like to invite all of you to come and attend, if you can.”
“That’s a wonderful idea, Sandy.” Laine looked around at all of us. “And I wish I’d thought to ask Doc sooner.” She thought for a second. “Hey, Arnold comes way before Watkins. Could you just stay on the dais and do my hooding too, Doc?”
I smiled at her resourcefulness. “Well, Laine, it is a small group, as I recall … maybe a half dozen doctorates and the same amount of masters. I’ll do my best. Okay?”
Laine grinned. “That’s great. And everyone else, come if you possibly can.” She looked at PJ. “Can you be with us, PJ? We’d love to have you attend.”
PJ cast a brief glance at me before she answered. “I’ll do my very best to be there, Laine.”
“Fantastic!” Donny clapped his hands once. “I can hang around until then.” He looked at the others. “How about it? Can the rest of you make it? We’ll have an Amazon Hunters reunion next spring.”
The idea took shape. Sad voices grew cheerful again. The gloomy prospect of our disbanding was tempered with the possibility of a reunion in the spring.
I was hugging Lewis when I heard Laine’s voice. She was speaking to Donny who was teary eyed. “Hey, we’re all family here, Doc, PJ, the rest of us … we may not be together but we will not be apart.” That, in my humble opinion said it all.
“I hope I wasn’t out of line,” Josie said when we gave each other final hugs. “I just wanted to … well, you know….”
“Yes, I know, and thanks.” From the corner of my eye, I caught sight of PJ watching us. I couldn’t read her thoughts but I knew that she had been curious since Josie and I had walked away from the group.
Sandy threw his arms around me and wrapped me in a bear hug. I punched him playfully on the chin. “Get outta here. I hate seeing grown men cry.”
He kissed me on the cheek. “You’re the best, Doc. I’ll stay in touch, don’t you worry.”
“You’d better,” I told him.
He turned to PJ. “Do you still want me to take the minivan now?”
She pulled the keys from her pocket. “This is as good a time as any, Cowboy. I sure appreciated having it during our project.”
“Walk me to the van, would you? I’d like to ask you something before I leave.”
Knowing they were good friends, I moved away.
I watched them stroll to the vehicle and continue talking for a few moments, her arm around his waist, his around her shoulder. When they reached the car, Sandy dipped his head and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. PJ smiled and gave his nose a playful tweak.
After everyone had left, PJ and I stood facing each other across the narrow floor space of the motor home. Silence wrapped itself around us like a cocoon, preventing us, I thought, from grieving the immediate emptiness created by the absence of colleagues.
“They’ve gone,” she said, tears leaving shiny tracks down her cheeks. “They’ve gone and it’s really, really over.”
I nodded.
“Well, can’t you say something? Don’t you feel anything?”
I listened as the final vehicle left the area. “Yes, they’ve gone, and I’ll miss them.” I turned my attention back to PJ. “I’ve worked with many people in my time, students, graduate students, fellow scientists, but Sandy, Laine, Josie, and the others … well, they were special, dedicated individuals. They’re made from the right stuff and we’ll hear more of them in the years ahead, you’ll see.”
“And what about you, Kim?” PJ sat down on the far end of the sofa. “You’ve closed the door on your project. Any last words on that?”
“Have patience with me, PJ. I have feelings… way too many to put into words right now.”
She nodded, biting her lip. “That introvert thing again, right?” She shook her head. “I can’t seem to stop this bitchy attitude I’ve got going here.” Her head dipped and I heard a sniffle. “I’m sorry, Kim… I just hate to lose.”
I closed the door against the cool breeze that was starting up. Then I sat down at the opposite end of the sofa from PJ. I turned to face her, my left knee bent and resting on the sofa, my ankle hooked under my right knee.
“I know something about loss. I’ve spent most of my professional life searching for the Lost Tribe. I found them and now they’ve been taken from me. That’s disappointing, despite my knowing it ended the way it should have and that they are where they should be … together.”
“And now?” She stared me down.
What do you want from me, PJ? Don’t you understand that I need time to absorb all that has happened these last few days.
I traced the outline of the medallion hanging around my neck, under my shirt. “I’m empty … inside.”
“That makes two of us.” PJ sighed. “Have you thought at all about your professional future?”
“When do you suppose I’ve had time to do that?” I immediately regretted my snappish tone. “I have to work because that’s what makes me who I am. Not knowing where my profession will take me from here does bother me … a great deal.”
“As a fellow archaeologist, I can understand that,” PJ said.
“What about you?” I kicked off my shoes and shifted enough to ease the cramp that was forming in my left leg. “Have you given any thought to your professional future?”
PJ caught my gaze and held it. “No. Not really. I’ve been a little busy with personal matters … where I fit in with you, for example.” She exhaled and raked her fingers through her hair. “But I’m not blind … I see the handwriting on the wall. It’s pretty obvious that you don’t have room for me in your future.” She sat up and tapped her thighs. “So, it’s time for me to get the hell outta here.”
“Would you like a small glass of wine, some Sherry perhaps, or Port?”
PJ laughed. “You know, Kim, you’
re an expert at changing the subject. The conversation gets serious and you trivialize it.”
“I’m not changing the subject nor trivializing it … I just thought that … well, that we … It might help if we had a drink… Damn it, PJ, I want a glass of wine. Do you want to join me or not?”
PJ eyed me suspiciously. “I haven’t had any alcohol since that awful night when Sandy dumped me here on your doorstep. I wanted to avoid any repeat performances of public drunkenness and so far, I have.” She smiled. “You know, I never forgave Sandy for bringing me here.”
I chuckled. “Well, I don’t think a small glass of wine will undo the good you’ve done for yourself. And we should, you know, toast our Amazon friends.”
She shook her head. “It’s all about the Amazons isn’t it?”
“Face it, PJ, they’re part of our lives … yours and mine. No matter what happens here tonight, we’ll never be the same again because of them.”
“Okay, fine. I’ll have a drink with you … in fact I’ll do the honors.” She was on her feet in an instant, retrieving two plastic goblets from the cabinet above the kitchen sink. “Where do you keep the wine?”
“In the cabinet under the counter … the one on the left.”
“Sherry?”
“That’ll do just fine.”
I watched as she pulled the cork and inhaled the fragrance. “Mm-mm good.”
“Sorry, I don’t have crystal wine glasses in the motor home,” I said, when she handed me my drink, “this being a special occasion and all.”
PJ returned to her place on the other end of the sofa. “Special… or sad?”
“Sad, we’ve had, so let’s go with special.”
Her eyebrows arched.
“Cheers.” We leaned forward and clinked glasses.
She giggled. “Doesn’t have the ring of crystal, does it?”
“More like a muffled thud.” We both laughed.
We sipped in silence, savoring the rich flavor of the wine.
“Wow,” PJ’s eyes widened. “I’d forgotten how warm a good sherry feels going down.”
“By the way,” she said, after a moment of silence, “what did you and Josie talk about?”
“She had a question. That was all.”
“You’re not going to tell me, are you?”
