by Alesha Dixon
“Please just call me a car!” I demand impatiently.
“Not until you tell me what’s going on,” she says stubbornly. “You’re not being yourself. If you’re upset or worried about something, then I want to help.”
UGH. You know, this is EXACTLY why I don’t have friends.
They really hold things up.
“Fine.” I let out a long sigh. “I am really Naomi Starr. I am trapped in this person’s body. I need a car to get home so I can get back into my own body. I don’t have a phone so I can’t call one myself. I also don’t know the numbers off by heart of my mum or my assistant. So I need you to call me a taxi to get me home to my Chelsea townhouse.”
There’s silence. Then, she starts laughing. Loudly.
“It’s TRUE!” I insist, tapping my foot as she wipes away tears. “Now, can you call me a taxi? You said you wanted to help.”
“I have to say,” she says through giggles, “I considered trying to get out of the maths test today, too, but WOW, you have come up with the most imaginative excuse EVER.”
Realizing that she’s never going to believe the truth, I decide it’s probably best to come up with another tactic.
“OK, I’m this Ruby person and I’m trying to get out of school, you caught me,” I say, holding up my hands. “Will you help?”
She stops laughing and her eyes widen. “Are you serious? You actually want to skip school today?”
“Yes!”
“You’ve NEVER done that. What’s going on? Is this because of what happened on the bus yesterday with Ali inviting John to her party and not you?”
“Yes.” I nod gravely, playing my part outstandingly, I must admit. Maybe I should consider branching into acting once I’ve sorted out this mess. “Yes, that is why. I love John and it is too painful seeing him with Ali.”
The girl wrinkles her nose. “Did you just say you love John? As in your brother, John?”
Damn it.
“I mean, I love my brother John because he’s my brother. And . . . and I don’t want him to go to Ali’s party. Obviously. Because Ali is” – I take a stab in the dark – “not nice?”
For a moment, I think I’ve messed up everything, but then the girl starts nodding in understanding. PHEWF.
“Yeah. I suppose it would suck if John started hanging out with people like Ali. But I don’t think you need to worry; he’s two years older than her. She only invited him and his friends to try to look cool in front of Noah.” She hesitates. “You’re really that upset about it?”
“Yes. I am. I don’t want to face Alice.”
“Ali,” she corrects, confused.
“You see? Just saying her name is too painful. And I don’t want to talk about it any more. I also want a taxi. Please help me. As my friend.”
“Where are you going to go?” she asks, looking concerned. “Can’t you just hang around the library or something?”
“Yes. That’s where I’ll go. The library. So, you don’t need to worry.”
“You can walk to the library. You don’t need a taxi.”
“I want to go to another library. A big one far away,” I say, getting irritated. Who is this person and why is she asking a BILLION questions?
“The British Library?”
“YES! Sure. The British Library. There’s a . . . uh . . . book there. It’s the only thing that can comfort me right now.”
“That sounds like you,” she says, giving a small smile. She glances back towards the front door of Ruby’s house. “All right. We better move fast though before your brothers come out to get to the bus. Let’s get to the main road and if there’s no taxis, we can google a cab company.”
“THANK YOU!” I say, feeling like I could hug her.
Which is strange. I very rarely feel like hugging anyone. Because, you know. Gross.
I follow her lead as she heads in the opposite direction I was going, following the pavement round until it reaches a busier road. There are a few students in the same uniform as us gathered around the bus stop nearby.
“Come on,” the girl says, ushering me away from them and ducking behind a corner shop. “I don’t think you’ll get a taxi, so I’ll call you one. What happened to your phone by the way?”
“Uh . . . the dog ate it,” I say, as she googles a company and rings them.
“OK, the taxi is on its way,” she tells me, hanging up. “I better run for the bus. Are you sure you’re all right?”
“Yes, I am. Thank you so much . . . uh . . . you. And don’t worry. I’ll be back to normal in no time.”
She nods, not looking like she quite believes me, and then says goodbye, going to join the students waiting for the bus. When the taxi pulls up, I hop in and give the driver my townhouse address, feeling a little bit better. At least I’m on my own now and can freak out in peace.
How did this happen? How did I end up in someone else’s body?
Wait – does this mean that Ruby is in my body? In my house? With MY things? LIVING MY LIFE?
Oh my God.
If she even THINKS about touching my clothes, she’s in SERIOUS trouble.
And don’t get me started on my shoes.
“Here we are,” the driver says cheerily, as we finally pull up at the house. “Do you want to pay cash or card?”
“I will send someone to pay you,” I say, before jumping out and running towards the gates of my house.
“HEY!” he yells after me, getting out of the car. “OI! COME BACK HERE!”
“Wait one moment!” I call back as politely as I can muster. “I will have one of my staff pay you.”
He mutters something under his breath and then waits, leaning back on his car and watching me like a hawk. I press the buzzer on the gates. It rings and then a voice comes crackling through the intercom.
“Hello?”
“HI! Hi, hello!” I say excitedly, forgetting about the whole body swap thing for a moment and waving at the camera. “Can you let me in? It’s Naomi!”
“Naomi who?”
“Naomi Starr!”
There’s silence before the voice says, “Please leave the property immediately, thank you.”
“No! No wait! It’s me! I’m just in someone else’s body!”
“I’m asking you politely and calmly to leave the premises. Thank you.”
WHY WILL NO ONE BELIEVE ME?!
Although . . . would I believe me? Probably not.
If I’m in this Ruby person’s body, there is a high chance she might be in mine. And she may be as freaked out and confused as I am. I HAVE to speak to her. I can’t give up.
“I have an appointment with Naomi Starr,” I say, after I’ve pressed the buzzer again. “Is she in? Look, could you just ask her? Please, say a girl named Ruby is asking for her. I bet she’ll let me in if you tell her that.”
“Please leave the premises before we call the police,” the voice says snappily. “NOW.”
HOW DARE THEY SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT?!
“When I get back in my body, you are SO FIRED!” I yell into the speaker.
My threat is greeted with silence. I press the buzzer again and again but there’s no response. Refusing to take no for an answer, I consider climbing the gate. I mean, how hard can it be? People do it in films all the time.
I march up to the gate confidently and place my hands on the bars, attempting to hoist myself up. I try to find a grip with my feet but my shoes keep slipping. I can’t get anywhere near the top of the gates, let alone over them. I decide a run up might be helpful, that way I can kind of leap upwards and get a head start. But I don’t get any further from the ground. After some attempts, I become conscious of the giggling behind me.
I turn to see the taxi driver laughing his head off.
“Excuse me, but what’s so funny?”
“You trying to climb the gate,” he replies bluntly, getting his phone out. “I need to film this.”
“If you do, I shall add you to my list of people I’m going to sue! T
he person who answered that buzzer is one of them and you are next on the list.”
“Hey, you owe me the taxi fare,” he argues, frowning. “So, I’m the one who will be suing YOU.”
“I would be able to pay you the fare if they’d let me talk to Riley or Naomi Starr!” I cry, gesturing at the gates. “I’m not making this up. If I was trying to get out of the fare, wouldn’t I have run away by now? I promise I know Riley Starr and she will pay you as soon as I explain everything.”
He sighs heavily. “OK, say you’re telling the truth. Why don’t you just look on social media?”
“Look on social media for what?”
“For where they are. Here.” He types something into his phone, waits a moment and then starts scrolling down his screen until his face suddenly lights up. “There! Found them. They’re going for brunch at the Ritz.”
“How do you know that?”
“Because it’s all over Twitter, see? I searched for Naomi and Riley Starr. People have posted photos of them heading in. They must have just left before we got here.”
“THEN WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR? Quick!” I fling open the door to the backseat. “We need to get there! Go, go, go!”
He reluctantly gets in and, after a firm promise from me that he will DEFINITELY be paid for both journeys, we set off into central London. I feel a sense of renewed hope now that we’ve managed to track them down and leap out of the car as soon as we pull up to the front of the hotel.
“You’re not getting away that easy,” the taxi driver says, following me in.
I’m through the revolving doors so fast that by the time the doormen open their mouths to ask if they can help with anything, I’m already halfway down the gallery to the restaurant, the driver hot on my heels.
I march into the restaurant, scanning round the room until I spot them. And when I do my heart skips and I feel like I might faint.
Because it’s really quite weird to see my mum on the other side of the room clinking her glass with . . . well . . . me.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
(AS NAOMI)
I drop my glass.
The sparkling elderflower spills all over the table and splashes Riley Starr’s dress, but I don’t care. Because I’m watching an angry-looking man come striding over towards a table behind . . . me.
“Hey!” she says, sounding VERY angry. “Get out of my body!”
I can only stare at her. Because it’s me. ME! Standing right there!
This is so weird.
“Oh my goodness, Miss Starr, Ms Starr, I’m so sorry,” one of the waiters is saying, as several staff come hurrying over to usher her away from the table. “Please follow me out of the restaurant and leave the Starrs to their brunch.”
“I will NOT leave them to their brunch,” the-Ruby-who-isn’t-me says, swatting his hand away, “because I AM A STARR! Mum! It’s me!”
Oh my god. Naomi Starr is in my body. NAOMI STARR IS ME.
“I’ve never seen this girl in my life,” Riley says, horrified at what’s going on.
“Someone owes me a taxi fare!” the angry man is saying, pointing to Riley. “Apparently, you’re going to pay it!”
“I don’t know how you got in here,” the head waiter says through gritted teeth to them. “But please kindly leave—”
“SHE’S IN MY BODY! TELL HER TO GIVE IT BACK!”
“Wait!” I jump to my feet. “It’s OK, you don’t need to send them out. Uh . . . Ruby, why don’t we go speak in private?”
“You know this girl?” Riley asks, stunned.
“Yes,” I squeak, my mouth dry. “She’s an old friend.”
“An old friend from where? I didn’t realize you had any old friends.”
“Oh, well, you know me. I’m very . . . secretive about these things. Anyway, I’ll be back in one second,” I inform her, picking up my handbag and gesturing towards the door. “We have something important to talk about.”
“I demand to be paid!” the taxi driver practically yells.
“I don’t have any money,” she seethes. “Maybe, Naomi” – if looks could kill, I’d be dead right now – “you could kindly ask your mum to help out.”
I clear my throat. “Yes. Yes, Mum, would you mind paying this man the taxi fare? I’ll pay you back, I promise. Sorry.”
“All right,” she says wearily. “I’ll sort out the fare. But then you come back and tell me what this is all about please, Naomi.”
“Of course. Thanks so much. You’re the best mum ever.”
Naomi snorts, following me out of the restaurant as we leave Riley to sort things out. “I would never say something lame like that.”
“Excuse me, is there somewhere private I could have a conversation with my friend?” I ask a waiter at the door to the restaurant.
“Of course,” he says warmly, directing us into a small dining room off the main gallery.
As soon as the door shuts and we’re alone, she explodes.
“OK, WHAT is going on? Did you do this? Did you steal my body? WHO ARE YOU?! Change us back! CHANGE US BACK NOW!”
I hold up my hands, backing away from her. “I’m as freaked out as you are! I have no idea what’s going on, I swear!”
“You’ve stolen my body!”
“You’ve stolen mine!”
“WHY WOULD I STEAL SOMEONE’S BODY?”
“I don’t know! I don’t know how this has happened. . .” I hesitate as something dawns on me. “Wow! I’m talking to Naomi Starr!”
“YES!” she says, exasperated.
“Oh my God. Sorry, it just hit me that I’m actually meeting you. I can’t believe I’m meeting Naomi Starr. I’m a HUGE fan. And you’re me right now! That’s mad. Naomi Starr is me and I’m Naomi Starr. Whoa.” I run a hand through my hair. “This is so crazy.”
She stares at me. “You mean, you’re not behind this? You didn’t do this body swap thing on purpose?”
“Of course not! And I know that this is weird circumstances, but can I just say something to you. . .” I take a deep breath. “You are my favourite pop star ever, in the whole world. I think you’re amazing and I love all of your songs. It’s a real honour to meet you. I’m seriously star-struck.”
She doesn’t look impressed. “Whatever. Did you, or did you not, perform some kind of magic spell to switch with me and steal my life?”
“NO! I have no idea what’s going on. I woke up as you. And I have been freaking out all morning.”
She narrows her eyes at me. “How did this happen? You were in the library yesterday, right? That was you.”
“Yes, that was me.”
“So maybe something happened to us then? Maybe we both walked through body-morphing nuclear waste on our way into the library or something? That’s the sort of thing that happens in films.”
I can’t help but laugh. She glares at me.
“Have you got a better explanation?” she asks, folding her arms.
“No, sorry,” I say hurriedly, my cheeks burning. “I don’t remember any . . . uh . . . nuclear waste though. Surely we would have noticed walking through it?”
“Then what could it be?” she wails, beginning to pace around the room. “We have to switch back! This is insane! I don’t want to wake up again with a stinky dog slobbering over my face!”
“You met Daisy!” I exclaim, excited that Naomi Starr has met my dog. “She’s super friendly. Did you meet any of my family? Your mum is really cool and your assistant is so nice. I really—”
“I don’t care what you think of Simon!” she snaps.
“Sam,” I correct quietly, but then wish I hadn’t said anything because her hands clench into fists.
It’s strange seeing me so angry. I had no idea that’s what my face looks like when I’m cross. My eyeballs kind of stick out and my mouth goes very small, until it almost disappears.
“We need to fix this,” she says through gritted teeth.
“Let’s go from the beginning,” I suggest, desperate to be helpful. I
sit down at the table and gesture for her to follow suit. “What’s the last thing you remember as Naomi?”
“I was in bed. Simon was getting me a juice. I was reading. Then, the next thing I remember is waking up as you, feeling very dazed. It was like my brain was all foggy.”
“That’s exactly the same for me. The last thing I remember is reading and then I woke up in your bed.”
She frowns in concentration. “What were you reading?”
“That book from the library, HOW TO SHINE.”
She gets to her feet so fast, her chair is knocked backwards. She holds up my backpack and pulls out a copy of HOW TO SHINE, slamming it on the table.
“That’s what I was reading, too!” she exclaims, pointing at it. “That’s it! That has to be it! We were both reading the same book and then BAM! It swaps us. I remember it glowing.”
I open her handbag and pull out my copy, placing it on the table next to hers. “You really think these books switched us?”
“What else could it be? And, look, we’ve both brought our copies with us. That’s got to mean something! We’re connected to these books somehow,” she says excitedly, flicking through her copy until she stops at a specific page. “This is where I got to. This is the last thing I remember reading.”
Sometimes, to learn about yourself, you need a different view. Step into someone else’s shoes, tread in their footsteps, see things through their eyes.
See how you shine.
“SAME!” I gasp, flicking to the page in my copy.
“Maybe that will swap us back! We just read the passage at the same time and that’s that.” She claps her hands making me jump. “Problem solved.”
“You think it will work?”
“One way to try. We have to read it at the exact same time. On the count of three.”
“Are we reading it out loud?”
She looks thoughtful for a moment. “No. The first time I wasn’t reading it out loud. Were you?”
I shake my head.
“Let’s try reading it in our heads first and if that doesn’t work, we’ll read it out loud at the same time. Ready?”
I pull the book towards me in preparation. She takes a deep breath and I notice her crossing her fingers.
