“The Broadway producers?” Sunil waved her off. “I don’t believe it.”
“Thomas says all they have in the pipeline is revivals, and they’re scouting for something new,” Isobel insisted. “And you know as well as I do, if you want to know what’s going on, ask the costume shop.”
“Still don’t believe it.”
“And…continue,” Kelly called.
Chris and Arden picked up, rather mechanically, in the middle of act one, scene seven. Isobel watched them intently, mouthing Jennie’s lines while Sunil eyed her in amusement.
“You’re really taking this seriously,” he whispered.
She ignored him and continued, but stopped abruptly when Arden veered from the script.
“I can’t sit on the gazebo bench if that spotlight is right in my eyes,” Arden announced.
“We’ll adjust it on the break,” Kelly said. “If you stand on six, you should be in the clear.”
Arden shuffled over a few inches. “Now I’m in the dark.”
“Those are your choices right now. We’ll fix the cue later,” Kelly said.
Chris reached for Arden. “Oh, Jennie, you’ve made me the happiest man on earth. Please? Not just a tiny kiss?”
Arden stepped forward and shaded her eyes from the bright stage lights. “Ezra, I need a fan for this scene. It’s summer and she would have one.”
“Jesus Christ,” Chris muttered.
“We’ll get you a fan,” Ezra boomed from the back of the house. “Go on.”
Chris repeated his line. “Not just a tiny kiss?”
“Not until I have a fan,” Arden said.
“Something I’ll never be,” Chris retorted.
“Ooh, snap,” breathed Sunil.
Arden shot Chris a murderous look.
“I will get you one for tomorrow’s dress,” Ezra shouted. “Finish the goddamn scene!”
Arden turned to Chris and batted her eyelashes unconvincingly. “Not until we’re married,” she said with a tight-lipped smile.
From the orchestra pit, the piano launched into the intro to Sousa’s famous march, “The Washington Post.” Chris dropped to one knee, flung his arms wide, and sang in a lusty bari-tenor:
I’ll probably die if you don’t kiss me,
Yes, that’s what I most want you to do,
You simply have got to see it through!
As Chris pulled Arden onto his knee, Sunil continued the verse, singing his own lyrics into Isobel’s ear:
I’ll die if I ever have to sing that!
I’ll fall off the stage and land on my head,
And then I’ll be just as good as dead!
Isobel let out a squawk of laughter, which was topped by an even louder shriek from the stage, where Arden was jumping up and down, clutching the back of her thigh.
“Stop!” Kelly called out over the mic. “Are you okay?”
“There’s a wire sticking out on this stupid bustle!”
“Thomas? Are you in the house?” Kelly asked.
“Coming!” The lean, blond costume designer loped down the aisle and took the utility stairs by twos. “Okay, princess, let’s see what the problem is.”
He led Arden into the wings next to Isobel and Sunil. Arden spun around, allowing Thomas to hike up her skirts and examine the bustle, which was knotted around her waist under the candy-cane-striped dress.
“Yeah, I see it. Heather, do you have pliers or something?”
The mousy, wide-eyed assistant stage manager hopped down from her stool, rummaged in a box on the floor, and retrieved a slightly rusted pair of pliers. Arden turned around, hands on hips, facing Isobel, while Thomas adjusted the padded wire contraption.
“Those things are a pain in the ass,” Isobel said sympathetically. “Literally.”
Arden’s lip curled. “Oh, look, it’s my stalker. Probably wishing the wire had hit an artery.”
“I’m just doing my job,” Isobel said defensively.
Thomas released Arden’s skirts and let them fall to the floor. “You’re fixed.”
“We’re good,” Heather reported into her headset.
“Back onstage, please,” Kelly called over the mic.
With exaggerated courtesy, Isobel pulled aside the black masking curtain. But as Arden flounced toward the stage, the entire length of material came down from the ceiling, burying Sousacal’s leading lady under its heavy folds.
About the Author
Joanne Sydney Lessner is the author of Pandora’s Bottle, a novel inspired by the true story of the world’s most expensive bottle of wine (Flint Mine Press). The Temporary Detective, Bad Publicity, and And Justice for Some (Dulcet Press) feature aspiring actress and amateur sleuth Isobel Spice. No stranger to the theatrical world, Joanne enjoys an active performing career in both musical theater and opera. With her husband, composer/conductor Joshua Rosenblum, she has co-authored several musicals including the cult hit Fermat’s Last Tango and Einstein’s Dreams, based on the celebrated novel by Alan Lightman. Her play, Critical Mass, received its Off Broadway premiere in October 2010 as the winner of the 2009 Heiress Productions Playwriting Competition. Joanne is a regular contributing writer to Opera News and holds a B.A. in music, summa cum laude, from Yale University.
Look for these mysteries featuring Isobel Spice:
The Temporary Detective
Phones, light typing…and murder.
Think breaking into show business is hard? Try landing a temp job without office skills. That’s the challenge facing aspiring actress Isobel Spice when she arrives in New York City, fresh out of college and deficient in PowerPoint. After being rejected by seven temp agencies for her lack of experience, Isobel sweet-talks recruiter James Cooke into letting her cover a last-minute vacancy at a bank. New to his own job, and recently sober, James takes a chance on Isobel, despite his suspicion that she’s a trouble-magnet. His misgivings are borne out by lunchtime, when she stumbles across a dead secretary in a bathroom stall. With her fingerprints on the murder weapon, Isobel sets out to prove her innocence by investigating the crime herself. While learning to juggle phone lines and auditions, she discovers an untapped talent for detective work—a qualification few other office temps, let alone actresses, can claim.
Bad Publicity
In the world of PR, there’s only one crime worse than killing a deal—killing a client.
Aspiring actress and office temp Isobel Spice finds a warm welcome at Dove & Flight Public Relations, thanks to her old school friend Katrina Campbell. However, the atmosphere chills considerably when Isobel unwittingly serves an important client a deadly dose of poisoned coffee. Her stalwart temp agent, James Cooke, rushes to her aid, but balks when he learns that the victim was the fraternity brother who got him expelled from college. News that Dove & Flight is being acquired by an international conglomerate quickly supplants the murder as the hot topic of office gossip, but Isobel is convinced the two events are related. When all roads of inquiry lead back to Katrina, Isobel is forced to consider the possibility that her friend’s killer instincts go beyond public relations.
Offed Stage Left
There’s one role you don’t want a callback for: Prime Suspect.
Aspiring actress Isobel Spice lands her first regional theater job, playing a supporting role and understudying the lead in Sousacal: The Life and Times of John Philip Sousa. A series of minor backstage accidents culminates in the suspicious death of the leading lady on opening night. When Isobel takes over the role, her mastery of the material makes her more suspect than savior, and she realizes the only way to clear her name is to discover the identity of the murderer—before he or she strikes again.
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