by Marie Cole
"I don't feel good, Claire. I'm not in the mood right now." I nodded my agreement but inside I was so confused. Neil was getting into my head. He was ruining this relationship, which is exactly what he wanted. I was not going to let him hurt me. I raised my head and quickly pressed my lips to his. He moaned against my lips and his hands went into my hair, gripping it tight and holding me close.
I moaned in return and tried to pull away but we were stuck in the same situation as before. This time I was ready though. I let myself get pulled into it, at least I tried. I tried to let go. I tried to get lost in him. Something still felt off, something felt wrong.
His tongue assaulted mine and then his teeth nibbled on my lower lip. He groaned once more against my lips and then he flipped me over on the mattress and pushed my dress up. I pushed up onto my hands and knees and tried to escape him but his hand was strong on my waist, holding me down. His other hand was absent briefly but came back and ripped my panties off. They fell onto the bed beneath us. I heard myself whimper.
"Will?" I looked over my shoulder and saw a man possessed. He was not the calm, unresponsive man he was a few minutes ago. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to gather my thoughts in the brief seconds I had. All I could think was that this was my fault. I had kissed him. I opened my eyes, panting hard, anticipating what might be coming. Time was up. He rammed into my virgin asshole and a scream escaped from my lips.
I barely heard his own scream above my own. The pain must've been bad for him too. He pulled back and muttered a curse before running to the bathroom. Tears had sprung in my eyes and fell free when I moved off the bed. I sucked in a breath with each movement as I headed for the exit. This was a nightmare. As my hand touched the doorknob I felt strong arms around my waist.
"Claire, I'm so sorry." He pressed his lips to my cheek and I felt shivers fall through me, shivers of fear. Shivers of disgust. Shivers of hopelessness. This is how it was going to be forever. I could never kiss a man again. Unless he was like Neil, love resistant.
I tried to keep the shivers out of my voice, "I know. I shouldn't have kissed you." He kissed my neck softly.
"Please don't go...are you alright?" I nodded, my body feeling numb compared to my ass which was on fire. Served me right for kissing him, for tempting him. For playing with fire I got burned.
"I'll be okay, I just need to rest, I think."
"So rest here with me."
I shook my head and reached back putting my hand on his cheek. "I don't know how its going to feel later. I just want to soak in a bath, pop some pills and go to bed."
"Sorry..." he whispered. I believed he was.
"I hope you feel better, Will. Sorry for tempting us both. I'll text you later." He hesitantly let me go. I felt the burn from my stupidity all the way across campus.
Chapter 20
Neil
Despite the fact that I was sober and didn't end up rolling around in the grass with a couple of girls, I had a great time at my party. Even though I'd invited Claire, she didn't show. I hadn't really expected her to come but it still bugged me a little.
I helped Tse break down after the party and carried his crate back to his dorm. Will was sleeping and Claire was nowhere in sight. I couldn't help but feel relief. If I'd seen her sleeping in his arms, covering up in surprise at being caught with him naked in his bed, I think I would've killed him...at the very least I would've hurt him very badly.
I didn't get up at my usual time so I had to sneak my daily run in right before lunch. And that's when I saw him, Will. He had a huge bouquet of flowers in one hand and a comically large box of chocolates under his other arm. I wondered what the hell he'd done to warrant not only flowers but chocolates. He was breaking out the big guns. Perhaps they were for another girl. My curiosity got the best of me and I followed him, from a safe distance, of course, I didn't want him to know I was following him.
He was headed for Claire's dorm but then again all the girls lived there. I let him get the lead and then went into the dorm behind him but across the dorm and then up so that I could walk by without seeming suspicious.
I could see him at her door as I stepped through the stairwell into the hallway. He was speaking low and his eyebrows were drawn together, his shoulders hunched. He was definitely apologizing, begging. He held out the gifts and I saw her shake her hands. She wasn't going to accept his gifts. What the hell had he done? I had to find out, I walked casually down the hallway, keeping my earbuds in, making look as if I couldn't hear them. But I could.
"What do you want me to do?" He asked, his voice gruff, strained.
"I just need some time to figure out what I want to do. What happened was...scary and -very- hurtful. Flowers and chocolates aren't going to fix the issues that we have." Her voice was soft and sounded almost normal. She was going to cry. I had to stop myself from running down there to bash that idiot's face in. He wasn't allowed to make her cry.
"I just miss you, Claire. I don't feel whole unless you're with me."
"Its the kissing," I passed by them and his voice dropped lower. "Will." The flowers and chocolates made a thump mixed with crackling leaves sound as he dropped them to the ground. I turned my head and saw him wrap his arms around her and kiss her. Her hands were on his shoulders trying to push him off. What the hell did he think he was doing? I was about to turn around when Will pulled back, his jaw clenched so tight I thought for sure it was going to pop.
"See. I. Can. Control. Myself." I could tell he was using every single ounce of willpower not to throw her against the nearest surface. I turned back around and scratched at my forehead to try to calm the burning in my chest which I assumed was anger.
"...Can you? Kiss me again." I heard the disbelief in her voice and then the moan as his lips must've pressed against hers. I walked away quickly before I let my imagination put them together in her bed.
I waited outside the dorm, pacing. My anger rose with each passing minute that I was down there by myself. Fifteen minutes passed until Will pushed opened the doors. He didn't even look at me until I was standing in front of him. He tried to step around me but I put my hand on his chest and pushed. He was a good foot taller than me and built like a train but I didn't give a fuck at that moment.
"What the hell, dude?" He stopped and looked me over, a small smile coming to his lips. He was sizing me up and had deemed me an unworthy opponent. That was his first mistake. Actually his second. His first mistake was fucking with Claire.
"What can I do for you, Pretty Boy?" He folded his arms over his chest and I clenched my jaw in anger.
"You need to stay the hell away from Claire. I don't know what's going on in that simple little mind of yours but I know its something dark."
"I am in love with her. Back off and stay out of our business." My fists curled at my sides and my voice dropped low.
"What is she allergic to? Who was her first celebrity crush? What are her dreams? Hopes? Aspirations? Do you know any of those things?" I gave him a split second to respond and then continued, "No. You don't because you're not in love with her. You just want to fuck her. Just like every other dude with a dick between his legs on this campus. Stay the fuck away from her."
"You know what? I've had enough of your filthy mouth." I saw his fist pull back and ducked as he swung at my face. I bent over and rammed my head into his stomach, hoping like hell that it was enough to knock the air out of his lungs. I heard him grunt but it wasn't enough. I felt his fists pounding on my back, each curled fist like a hammer, I heard some cracking. I pushed him away and I quickly fell back to reassess, the pain in my back was searing each time I drew in a breath.
The bastard was still smiling at me. I lunged for him again, I saw his fist coming but it was too late. The world turned black.
Chapter 21
Claire
I threw the flowers into the trashcan with an angry huff. How could he think that I wanted to be alone with him, be intimate again with him after he'd done what he did last night. It ga
ve me shivers just thinking about it. I had to distance myself from him. I wasn't ready to be alone with him and kissing him gave me the creeps.
I didn't sleep well at all last night, I was tossing and turning and every time I closed my eyes I was reliving the feeling of being violated. He violated me. I needed some girl time. Desperately.
Claire: Hey girl, u awake?
Merit: Now I am. What's up?
Claire: I need some girl time.
Merit: What happened? Did u go 2 Neil's party?
Claire: No. Did u go?
Merit: Yeah. It wasn't totally lame. And every time I saw Neil he wasn't sucking face. It was kind of amazing actually.
My stupid heart was fluttering at the thought of Neil being less girl-centric.
Claire: Good 4 him. Maybe he'll let me set him up soon.
Merit: So tell me what happened last night!!!
Claire: I was with Will... and it did not end well. I kissed him.
Merit: OMG. Did he attack U again?
Claire: Yes... but... the wrong end.
I stared at my phone waiting for those three little dots to appear. I bit my lower lip worriedly and glanced around my room. My butt was still hurting. I needed to go out to get some pain killers at the very least. I grabbed my student card and shoved it into my back jean pocket. My phone chirped. I responded as I walked out my door.
Merit: Ouch? I'm not even sure what 2 say, I'm shocked!
Claire: Yes, ouch. I don't recommend it. I'm headed 2 the Union 4 some meds. Meet me there?
Merit: Sure. C U soon.
I put my phone into my other pocket and sighed. The temperature was dropping little by little every morning. I zipped up my hoodie and froze in my tracks as I spotted Neil on the ground, a little crowd of people around him all buzzing about what they should do.
My feet moved into action and I ran to his side. I pointed a girl and ordered her to go press the Blue Emergency button and then I told everyone else to back off. Neil's face was already turning black and blue around his left eye and cheek. A trickle of blood was coming out of his mouth. I wiped it gently and ran my hand over his hair gently. "Neil? Neil can you hear me?" He didn't respond.
The blue strobe light above the light was circling around and around and it wasn't long before a security officer found us. "What happened here?" The girl answered because I couldn't. I hadn't seen anything.
"A big dude punched him out and then walked away. No one wanted to stop him because he looked menacing."
"What did he look like? What color hair?"
"Blonde." My eyes widened and looked between Neil, the officer and the girl. Will did this? Why were they even fighting? The security officer spoke into his walkie talkie and another few minutes passed before an ambulance came to pick Neil up off the sidewalk.
I felt tears sting my eyes, I felt so helpless. I hated Neil for what he did to me but I still cared about him. I knew I always would, no matter what he did to me. I wiped at my eyes as I backed away from the bed on wheels. I made a mental note to go check on him later if he was on campus and then my eyes met Justice's. She looked just as distraught over Neil's unconscious state. My feet went into motion again and I headed towards Will's dorm. He had some explaining to do.
I knocked on Will's door and shifted impatiently from foot to foot. The door opened and without looking I unloaded.
"What in the hell is your pro-" My fire died down when I realized it was Will's roommate, Tse, that I was yelling at. I felt my cheeks blush, showing my embarrassment. "Sorry, Tse... is Will here?"
Tse nodded and stepped back, he had a hat on. "Yeah. He's taking a shower, he'll be out in a few. Make yourself at home."
My voice softened quite a bit as I sat down on Will's bed. "Thanks Tse."
He nodded again, "See ya," and then he was gone, the door closing behind him. I looked around, the bathroom door was closed and I could hear the shower running. Did I stay where I was and wait for him to come out all drippy and in a towel or did I rush in there and give him a piece of my mind when he was most vulnerable?
I stood up, heart pounding, and went into the bathroom. I was about to pull back the curtain when I heard him moaning. I froze and slowed my breathing so he wouldn't hear me. I tiptoed to the edge of the curtain and peeked in. He was hunched over, his large hand was wrapped around his equally large dick and he was stroking himself. I couldn't tear my eyes away, he was a beautiful specimen of man. His cock filled his hand so perfectly, the water made it glisten. When his release came his huge body shuddered and a name spilled from his lips. Not mine. Not even female. I gasped and he turned, spraying his seed on the curtain and my hand. I gasped again and disappeared from his view. I grabbed toilet paper and wiped at my knuckles. Ew. I was still wiping when he pulled back the shower curtain. I stared at him and he stared at me.
It was a stare down to see who was going to do or say something first. It was going to be me. I threw the toilet paper in the trash and walked quickly towards the door leading back to his bedroom. Before my hand touched the handle I felt his warm wet hand on my shoulder, pulling me back. I screamed and turned around, my fist was flying. He wasn't expecting such expert ninja moves from me and left himself open and my fist connected with his jaw, his head turned to the side.
My vision blurred from the pain of actually hitting someone and I shook out my fist and then cradled it to my chest. He let me go in his surprise and I ran like hell out of the bathroom. He was hot on my tail and grabbed me again before I got to the door. "Claire! Get back here!"
I screamed again and tried to kick him but before I could get my balance my feet were off the ground. He had his hands around my waist and was pulling me up. I kicked him with the heels of my tennis shoes but it was no use. He was breathing rapidly in my ear and I felt goosebumps break out across my arms. "Please don't hurt me..." I begged, I had nothing else in me.
He snorted and then put me down, I tried to bolt but his large arm was around my throat and slowly, painfully slowly I felt my airway closing. I wondered if this was what happened to Neil and why it was happening to me. And then darkness enveloped me.
Chapter 22
Neil
"...Neil....Neil can you hear me?...." Her sweet voice filled my darkness. I was waiting for the light, waiting for the path to light itself so I could go that way. But there was nothing, just darkness. When I heard her voice I felt myself move towards it. The pain came back, the searing pain in my head cut through her voice and the other voices that were slowly coming back to my conscious. It hurt, it was overwhelming. But I had to see her. I had to find her.
I opened my eyes just as I was being wheeled towards the ambulance. I saw her blonde hair blowing in the light breeze as she walked away. She looked like she was on a mission, her shoulders squared, her pace quick. I assumed it was her, I couldn't be sure as I didn't see her face. I was probably hallucinating.
At the school infirmary they asked me all kinds of questions ranging from my lingering symptoms to information I should be able to recall, such as my name. I recalled all of it. Everything. The school security force was out searching for Will after I told them what happened. They wouldn't let me leave my bed even though I was adamant that I was fine. I didn't need them to baby me, I needed to get the hell out of here and go to Claire. My jaw clenched as I thought of her and Will together. My stomach rolled and I swallowed hard to keep my breakfast down.
The nurse insisted that I be under supervision for at least the next few hours while they waited for blood tests to come back and monitored my vitals. I groaned and lay back. I was about to close my eyes to rest when the door to my room opened. Merit, panting from running, was staring at me.
"Oh thank Zeus! Where the hell is Claire?" She looked around my room as I sat up, my fingers clenched the sides of my bed as fear gripped me.
