Crushed

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Crushed Page 17

by Marie Cole


  "No, we don't have to go anywhere. A night of gaming is exactly what I wanted." I smiled, successfully covering my fear that he'd forgotten my birthday.

  "I... I," Kent chewed on his bottom lip as he moved towards the car. When we got closer we both climbed inside. Either he was extremely disappointed in himself or he was a great actor. "I, uh...got a new game. It's two players and it's an open world." The door creaked loudly as he shut it. The car vibrated beneath us as he started down the road.

  "So I actually get to play this time? I don't have to just watch you crush the levels of Zelda? Even better." I smiled at him and then leaned forward so I could change the radio to my favorite Top 40 station.

  "Yes, you get to play this time. I promise. Even if I get a single player game next time, I'll share." He looked at me and grinned but it didn't make me believe him.

  "I know you'll mean to share, but you'll get carried away and I won't get to play. You can't fool me. I'll just sit on your computer and internet chat with hot guys like always."

  I always hoped he'd say something about me and hot guys, admit some sort of jealousy, but it never worked. But it didn't stop me from trying.

  I glanced around and casually tried to motion over my shoulder as we passed the road that went to his house. Inside my heart was pounding. Where was he taking me? For some reason there was still a little hope in my heart. "You missed your turn..."

  Again there was a pause before he shrugged his shoulders. "I know I missed it. I don't have any Mountain Dew or candy at home. We need some Little Debbies for this all nighter!"

  I narrowed my gaze, wondering if he was telling the truth, even as my heart was dancing in my chest. Where ever we were going we'd be there soon and I needed to chill out before then. I turned the music up a little when Harvey Danger's "Flagpole Sitta" came on.

  "Cool," I said before drumming my hands on my lap.

  I was singing along, concentrating on the crazy lyrics when Kent pulled into the parking lot of the swankiest Italian restaurant in town. I stopped singing mid-lyric to look at him, my heart doing that thing again.

  "Um, I don't think we're going to find Dew or candy or Little Debbies here."

  "No, but we're going to find a reservation for two at 6:00pm." He pulled into a parking spot. "Happy Birthday, Elly." That goofy smile that I loved finally showed on his face as he inched his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

  I turned and stared at the restaurant, hiding my face from him just in case he caught sight of the tears that were gathering in my eyes. He hadn't forgotten after all. And it wasn't a crappy gift. "Kent, this is too much."

  "I bagged groceries all summer so I could bring you to this place. All I heard was how much you wanted to go but how expensive it was. Dinner is on me tonight."

  This was too much. Why would he take me some place like this unless... I wiped my sweating palms on my skirt.

  "It's not too late to change your mind. This is awesome but--"

  But this was like a real date. This was like somewhere you'd take a girlfriend, not a girl friend. Was tonight going to be the night? Was he going to tell me how he felt about me on my birthday? That would be so romantic. Inside my gut was wrenching with fear, anticipation, anxiety. Everything was swirling around in my head.

  "Nope. Don't wanna hear another word, Elly. We're going. But this doesn't mean you get out of gaming tonight. We're still going to play after we have our fill of expensive food."

  I quickly dabbed at the tears in my eyes with my hand and then turned to him, "You are such a bastard for trying to trick me, you know." I smiled, trying to keep it light. Trying not to let it show how grateful I was that he was doing this for me.

  "I'd never forget your birthday, Elly." He took an extra moment to look at me as he smiled, and I wondered if he was going to kiss me. Hoping, maybe. But soon he pushed his car door open and got out. My heart fluttered in my chest.

  "C'mon before they give our seats away!"

  I got out quickly and walked with him inside. I couldn't believe I was finally on a quasi-date with Kent. He had never done anything even remotely close to this before. The past birthdays had been very friendly in nature. Dinner at Bella Noches was like, a total step up from friendly. I kept my fingers crossed and a smile on my lips that tonight was going to be everything I'd been dreaming of for the past four years.

  "I have to figure out how I'm going to top this," I said.

  "Never gonna happen. This is going to be the most epic birthday you'll ever have!" Kent laughed as he opened the door for me.

  I hoped it would. Maybe he was finally going to make his move and kiss me! I thanked him for holding the door and waited for him to lead the way.

  He moved towards the hostess podium and lightly drummed his fingers on the edge of it.

  "Two for Lyle at six."

  The hostess looked at his fingers and then at her reservation sheet.

  "Of course, right this way."

  She looked at me, finally, and I noticed a little smile on her lips. My cheeks flamed. Did she think it was funny that he was here with me? Or that we were on a date at all? Or that I was on a date at all?

  She didn't say anything else as she grabbed the cloth wrapped silverware and leather padded menus and walked away towards our table. We both moved to go after her at the same time and halted. I grinned and then went, leaving Kent in the back in case he wanted to make his escape. Probably after he saw the look the waitress gave me he was going to change his mind. I'd be embarrassed to be with me too. I realized that was silly though, because this wasn't a date...it was a friendship dinner.

  Kent took his seat across from me as the hostess handed us our menus. I was only partially relieved that he hadn't run.

  "Your waiter will be right with you." She turned around quickly, her long red curls would've whipped someone in the face if they'd been standing too close. The image caused me to giggle.

  It was loud in the dining room, and crowded. I looked around and noted that we were sorely out of place. Despite the gesture maybe this was a mistake after all. We fit in his car, in his room, in my room. We fit anywhere there were a lack of other people. But this place, like most places, was not for people like us. Nerds. Outcasts. Socially awkward individuals.

  Kent leaned in and spoke loudly, "This place is large and there are lots of people."

  I looked around and nodded, confirming his observation as I opened my menu. "Thanks, Captain Obvious. We don't have to stay if it's too much..." I let him have an opportunity to call it off one last time.

  He frowned at me.

  "Hell no, Elly. We're doing this cause like I said, this is your birthday. Pick whatever you want, but the Mountain Dew later is on you," he chuckled but I knew he thought this place was way too expensive. I could see the sweat starting to pop out on his brow.

  I mulled over the menu. The baked ziti sounded good. The chicken parmesan was probably heaven on a plate. I glanced up and met Kent's eyes. I felt my cheeks start to color and I looked back at the menu. Cheap and healthy, cheap and healthy. I didn't want him to think I was a complete fat ass. I frowned at the words staring back at me. What the hell was wrong with me? Kent knew I loved to eat. A lot.

  I was mad at myself for being such a girl, but at the same time I didn't want to ruin the evening. As soon as I found the least expensive thing I set down my menu. I'd have the soup. I sat back and watched him, wondering what he was thinking about as he looked over the menu. He was probably having sticker shock and wondering if he was going to have enough to pay for dinner. Luckily my mom had given me my birthday money already and I could pitch in if he needed some help.

  I looked away when I realized that I was staring at him like a lovesick puppy. If he wasn't going to make a move then I didn't want him to catch on to my inner thoughts. Having him as a friend was better than not having him at all. I didn't want to scare him away. I definitely didn't want to lose him.

  He put his menu down as the waiter arrived. Kent nodded to me
to order. "Go ahead and tell him."

  I opened my menu as if I'd forgotten, but mostly so I wouldn't have to look at Kent when I said, "The minestrone soup and a water, please." I smiled sweetly and held the menu up for the him to take, keeping eye contact with the waiter until he turned to Kent to take his order.

  Kent had disappointment on his face but he didn't say anything. "I'll have the chicken parmesan with a sweet tea to drink, please." He gave his menu to the waiter and when the he departed his gaze turned back to me. "All that stuff on the menu and what you wanted was soup?"

  I looked down at my napkin, unrolling it to place it in my lap. I shrugged my shoulders slightly and did what every girl did on a date, I lied, "I'm not very hungry." In truth I was starving and I hoped to God that it was loud enough around us that Kent hadn't already heard my traitorous stomach growl.

  "Fine, but you know you're eating some of mine. I'm not bringing you here to not try something nice!" A little smile moved along his lips as the waiter dropped off their drinks and then retreated again.

  It was almost too loud to carry on a decent conversation, especially with a large group of people right next to us. Kent was about to speak just as the large group beside us started laughing.

  I smiled at the annoyance evident on his face. I knew just the thing to cheer him up. I leaned forward and pulled out my wallet from the back pocket of my skirt, the silver chain attached to a belt loop helped make sure it wouldn't be stolen and I thought it looked rather cool. I pulled out a paper football and held it up in victory before putting my wallet back. I put my finger on the top and my other fingers curled, ready to flick it when he had his hands in position. Kent laughed as he held his fingers up like a field goal. He stuck his tongue out at me as I took aim and flicked it.

  My aim was terrible and he didn't move to block the little pointy paper triangle. It sailed past his head and hit one of the guys in the large crowd beside us. The guy turned his head to see what hit him and shook his head. At least he didn't appear to be angry. Kent tried not to laugh.

  I mouthed "Sorry," to the man and waited until he turned around to cover my mouth and giggle. Then I put my hands up in the air, speaking loudly to be heard over the crowd. "Well, I'm all out of ideas and that was my only football."

  We didn't have to come up with anything because the waiter brought our food out at that moment.

  "Sweet! I'm hungry." Kent announced as he looked down at his food. The steam was still spiraling off the crunchy bread-coated chicken that was covered with blood-red marinara sauce. My stomach growled loudly and I turned my attention back to my soup.

  I smiled the discomfort away and shifted in my seat slightly. I thanked the waiter for refilling my water and then dug into my soup with the provided spoon. We ate in silence except for the cacophony of people all around us enjoying each other's company.

  When he only had a couple of bites left and my soup bowl was empty I looked from him to his plate. "How is it?"

  Kent had a forkful ready to go towards his mouth but held it out to me at my question. "Amazing," I just barely heard his voice over the crowd.

  I felt my cheeks burning as I pictured him saying that I was amazing, not the food. I reached out, grabbed the fork and took a bite. I chewed slowly and nodded my agreement before returning his fork to him. "I'm glad its lived up to its expectations for you." I smiled and suddenly jumped when I heard the outburst of employees who had a bowl in hand and were singing happy birthday as they marched across the restaurant. I leaned forward and spoke loudly to be heard over the even louder voices, "You aren't going to do that to me, are you?"

  Kent took his fork back and turned his head when the employees where singing for someone else. He turned back to me and gave me an innocent look. "Me? Would I ever do something like.." but those employees made a b-line for our table as they set a bowl of vanilla ice cream smothered in chocolate sauce right in front of me. Complete with a little candle that was flickering rapidly from all the movement.

  My cheeks burned red now, and I tried to blend in with the seat behind me as I slunk back but I smiled, glancing around the room and at the staff. I avoided looking at Kent until they were gone and then I shook my head at him. "I'm going to kill you."

  Kent laughed as he pushed the bowl towards me. "Happy birthday, now eat your ice cream so we can get the hell out of here with all these people."

  I ate it slowly and decided to tease him as payback for my embarrassment. "So when you grow up you're going to celebrate birthdays at your house where there are no other people...is that right?"

  "Yes!" He said as he laughed. "It's the large crowds. I don't like dealing with people day to day. I just want to play video games and have fun. Maybe design them or just be a game tester."

  "But a hermit, for sure." I nodded twice, and was inadvertently being very sexual with my spoon, sucking on it inappropriately.

  I knew something was wrong when Kent blinked and his cheeks turned pink like mine had when I imagined kissing him. He was staring at the spoon and my mouth.

  I popped the spoon out of my mouth, my blush matching his when I realized just what I was doing. I was pretty sure he thought it was gross coming from me anyway. "Sorry."

  He blinked again. "...It's fine. Are you enjoying it?" He finished off his sweet tea.

  I grinned, the heat slowly leaving my cheeks, "Yeah." The conversation was still too tame. I was going to need to liven it up if I was going to get back at Kent. "So when you get a girlfriend, how would you two like, get in the mood? I'm just trying to picture you in a relationship in my mind." I waved my spoon around in a little circle and then stared into it with slightly narrowed eyes.

  Kent frowned and shook his head. "Elly, come on. You done with that ice cream yet?"

  I shook my head as I looked at my bowl, there was still a huge scoop left. "Nope." I looked at him with a victorious smile. "So ...really, would she try to make out with you while you're playing video games?"

  His eyes shifted back and forth from the people around us and back to me. "While I'm playing video games? No. Whatever she chooses to do can't block my view. There are other things though." His cheeks were blushing brightly as he flagged a random waitress down to ask for more tea.

  I waited for the waitress to leave before continuing. "I just need to know what I need to tell your future girlfriend if she asks me how to get your attention during the late night gaming sessions. You know I like to be prepared."

  "Getting naked will always draw my attention away from a game," he started to say something else but he didn't get the thought out of his mouth.

  I watched him and waited, holding a piece of cake on my fork until he continued. "But? And?" I raised my eyebrows questioningly.

  "If she touches places then I'm not going to worry about a video game. Or if she wants to have a joint shower or something... I dunno, Elly. Can we... not talk about this around so many people?"

  I didn't know why it upset me so much. But it did. I put my spoon down and then set my napkin on the table. "Sure. You get the check and I'll be right back." I had to get out of there before I started to cry.

  I stood up and made sure I didn't pass directly by him in case he tried to stop me. Once safely in the bathroom stall I balled up some toilet paper and held it to my mouth to stifle the sob that escaped.

  It was so obvious that he wasn't going to try anything. So obvious that when he envisioned girls doing things to him it wasn't me he was picturing. I was so stupid to think that he was into me that way. He wouldn't ever see me as anything other than his fat friend, Elly. I cried for a few more minutes and then pep-talked myself into freshening up and getting back out there. Sitting in a stall and crying wasn't going to fix anything or change the fact that he wasn't into me that way.

  I blew out a breath just before I sat down and assessed him, "Ready to go?"

  He was very hard to read sometimes, but this wasn't one of them. He was confused by my sudden departure. He blinked at me. "Yeah I...guess.
Is everything alright?" He asked as he stood from his chair. "Did I say something wrong, Elly?"

  I stood up too and looked away, shaking my head, avoiding eye contact because if I looked at him directly in the eye he might see how puffy my eyes were. "Nope. I'm fine. Let's go." I led the way again, quickly exiting the restaurant. I stopped beside the car, waiting for him to unlock it, my arms across my chest defensively.

  I held my breath as he came towards me. He leaned against the car beside me and spoke up. "Alright, something is eating you. Talk to me, Elly."

  I called on my inner bitch and somehow managed to get the strength to roll my eyes. "Just open the car so we can go, please."

  "This is your birthday, Elly. You're pissed off about something and I want you to tell me what it is." He was being defiant as far as opening the door.

  My inner bitch wanted to be defiant too. "Yes, it's my birthday and I don't want to talk about it. So open the door. The birthday girl wishes it."

  Kent sighed as he pulled his keys out and unlocked the door for me.

 

 

 


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