Her dog was dead.
Jareth had put him down for her.
Samson had been a constant reminder of Jareth and their time together. He’d connected them somehow. And now he was dead.
She didn’t blink. She wasn’t ready to cry.
She thrust the apartment door closed behind her, shoving her back against the panel and gasping for air.
“Are you okay?” Sherri stood from her search on the living room carpet, studying Cyan’s face.
Cyan stepped into the room, staring at the floor. Thank goodness the spider was lost. It would keep the focus off Cyan and give her something mindless to do. “I’m fine. If I find Tommy first, I’m stepping on him.”
“You’re evil!” Horrified, Sherri spun from Cyan and crouched down on the ground again. “Tommy! Tommy, where are you?”
But Cyan wouldn’t kill the tarantula. Especially now that she knew how much it hurt to have a beloved pet die. Too bad she didn’t have anyone to talk about this stuff. She didn’t want comforting from her friends.
She longed for a chance to talk to Jareth, but she shook her head. Following that train of thought was even more painful than Samson.
Cyan would have to suck it up and get through it. Nobody was going to fix anything, so she’d have to learn to deal with it on her own.
Chapter 21
Jareth
Once Jareth found the campus he slowed down. Every mile he’d driven had sent his heart rate a little faster.
He was closer to Cyan.
Closer.
Closer.
Now that he was here … and had found her apartment complex, he didn’t want to breathe.
What if she sent him away? What if she hated him? What if her parents told her about Samson and now she blamed him.
What if she hated him?
He’d come to grips with the fact that for the first time in his life, he loved a woman. And she wasn’t just any woman. She was spunky, and sassy, and loyal, and driven. And beautiful, without pretense.
She was exactly what he wanted and he didn’t want to lose her.
He was so terrified he’d done exactly that.
Jareth dropped down from his truck, wind pushing at his door and whipping the tails of his duster around him. Man, what he wouldn’t give for some kind of a clue on how she felt.
Maybe that’s what faith was all about. He had to just give it an honest go. Give it all he had. If he lost her, then he never had her.
But oh, if he could get her to forgive him…
Standing crooked, ten feet from the front door, a sign declared, “Save our wolves – Vote 294”. Blue curtains decorated a large window, providing the perfect backdrop for bug stickers, one with a red center one that stated, “Bugs aren’t bad.”
Jareth stopped, half-turning back to his truck. He could still leave. He could always look back on this time of his life and pretend she would’ve forgiven him. Then she wouldn’t have the chance to reject him.
If he left, she wouldn’t have the chance to forgive him and hear the apology she deserved. Jareth wouldn’t keep that from her. Even if she might not accept it.
He had to man up. He could do it.
Knocking on the door between the cartoon praying mantis and the lady bug with long lashes, he wiped his hands on his jean-clad, upper thighs. Would she be home? Or would he be stalking her from his truck for a moment of her time?
The door opened, revealing a stressed out girl with tangled hair sticking out at odd angles and dirt on her cheek. “Yeah.”
“Is Cyan here?” Jareth couldn’t remember exactly, but she had to be Sherri – Rachiah had the long black hair and sharp slap.
Sherri focused on his face, her eyes widening. “Um.” She glanced behind her into the dim apartment and back at Jareth. “Yeah, I need to get something from… well, the coffee place.” She slipped her coat from a hook by the door and ushered him inside while she switched places. “She’s in the living room. I’ll be back in a bit.” She winked and closed the door, leaving Jareth more nervous and unsure than before.
He turned, pulling his duster off and draping it over a chair in a front reading room. He passed a kitchen nook and followed soft lighting to a finely furnished area with leather couches and alpaca knit blankets.
Cyan lay curled in the fetal position under a brightly dyed blue and yellow blanket.
Jareth just watched her, taking in all that he could before she decided one way or the other where he was going next – to hell alone, or heaven in her arms.
He cleared his throat, rounding the end of the couch to stand in front of her.
Cyan opened her eyes, blinking before lifting her icy gaze to him. Slowly, almost painfully, she pushed herself to a sitting position and watched him.
“Um, Cyan, I’m…” Jareth knelt beside her, helpless as her shoulders shook and she covered her face with her hands. He moved to sit beside her as she cried. “Sh. It’s okay. I’m here.”
After a few minutes, her racking sobs subsided and she lifted her sparkling gaze to his face. Her whisper yanked out his heart. “You killed my dog.” She hiccupped. “Thank you.”
Speechless and more than a little confused, Jareth rubbed her shoulder, reveling in the heat of her body beside his. “I’m sorry, what?”
Cyan shook her head, wiping at her moist cheeks. “No, I mean, you saved him from more pain, thank you.” She looked down. “And thank you for burying him. My parents were more attached to him than they let on and they don’t handle death well.”
Jareth gently turned her face to him with his fingertips. “I killed two wolves, Cyan.” Brutal honesty. That was all she was getting from him from then on. No matter how much it hurt.
“I don’t care.” She stared into his eyes. “I know they must have been hungry or something, but that’s not right. I mean, you did it out of self-defense and to protect Sam-son.” Her voice hitched on his name and she swallowed. “That’s not hunting or unjust killing, Jareth. It’s not illegal for a reason. You are exactly how I wish all hunters were. Thank you.”
“I’m sorry for your dad and mom.” Jareth had to hurry, get his apologies in while her benevolence held.
Her laugh startled him. “Stop saying you’re sorry. I lied to you, too.” She sniffed, sobering quickly as she continued confessing. “I lied to you and worked on getting evidence against Kettleson. You gave me enough I was able to hang him with it.” Her lips twisted with bitterness. “Not that it helped me...” She glanced at him, then away.
“Cyan, you should’ve told me. I could’ve… would’ve helped you. He offered me a lot of money to try to get you to change your mind about pressing charges. No excuses, I’m sorry to be so greedy, so blind.” He wiped his face with his hand, disappointed in himself.
“Maria told me about the donation. That was huge of you. You’re not greedy or blind. You’re… sweet.” She searched his eyes, laying her hand on his.
Jareth shifted next to her, turning his hand over to claim hers. He didn’t want anyone to know that it was him that gave the money. The knowledge embarrassed him and he avoided her gaze.
“Why did you come, Jareth? And please say it wasn’t just to say you’re sorry. Again.” A smile blossomed then faded as sadness again claimed her joy.
Did he have what it took? She deserved more than him, but he was selfish and didn’t want her to be happy without him. “I…” He looked at their hands. “I realized I’m falling in love with you.”
“You are?” Her eyes widened. “But I eat meat. I have blue hair. I fight for animals’ rights. And —”
“You’re perfect. I eat meat, too, remember. My favorite color recently changed to blue.” He reached up and twisted a blue lock between his fingers, gazing into her equally blue eyes. “Your ‘flaws’ happen to be what makes you my ideal woman.” He winked.
“I’m a contradiction.” She sighed, but didn’t alter her focus.
“Sounds like us. But I don’t think that’s forbidden, do you? We don�
��t have to match on everything.” His voice grew husky. “’Cause I don’t care. I love you.”
“I love you, too.” She whispered shyly, leaning into him.
Elation swelled in his chest. He lifted her face to his and their lips met, joining together over their newly proclaimed love. His eyes closed and he melted into the moment.
She crept her hand up his inner leg. Jareth’s eyes snapped open. Cyan wasn’t normally forward like that. He pulled back and glanced down at his lap.
And froze.
A spider the size of his hand crawled up his leg and over the inner side.
Cyan followed his horrified gaze with hers. She sighed and leaned to the coffee table, reaching for a cup. She scooped the tarantula up and stood, taking him to a room in the back.
Jareth finally caught his breath and he pressed his hands to his chest to make sure his heart was still intact.
Cyan returned, sitting beside him and smiling.
He glanced sheepishly at her. “I should’ve saved you.”
“I don’t need to be saved. I need to be kissed.” She tossed her hair and sent him a challenging look.
Jareth straightened in his spot. How could he be so lucky to get her? She’d forgiven him and wanted to be with him. Her strength astounded him and he never wanted to let her go. “I can do that. I’m good at that.” He wouldn’t stop showing her how much he cared, as long as she’d let him.
Epilogue
Summer
Cyan
Cyan’s final semester had ended and she’d graduated with honors. Riding in the truck next to Jareth, she didn’t know how to tell him about a recent decision she’d made.
She bit her lip and peeked at him from under her lashes. His hand rested on her knee and he whistled softly to the song on the radio. She inhaled deeply. “Um, Jay? I have an idea. I think it’d be fun.”
“Yeah?” He shot her a glance and then looked ahead again to the road. They were almost to Nate’s house in Taylor Falls. She wanted to ask him before he took her up to her parents’ place for the summer.
“I don’t want to hang out with my parents over the summer and see you in between jobs. I think I want to apply for that position with Fish and Game and be a field specialist.” She scrunched up her lips and nose. Would he go for it? Would he understand why she wanted to do it?
“Where would that put you?” He anxiously flicked his gaze between her face and the road. “I mean, we already have jobs set up for the rest of the year, but if you let me know where it’s going to be… I’m sure I can leave the group and go wherever you are.”
Love pummeled her worry. He wanted to be with her just as much as she wanted to be with him. “Well, I can go pretty much anywhere as long as I’m doing the research I need to finish. I could go where you go.” She held her breath, waiting for some sign that he was excited. She was ready to move on with their relationship, ready to stay out of her parents’ place for good.
“Really?” He pulled over on the shoulder of the road, coming to a stop under the shade of a large bull pine. Turning to her, he took her hands. “You want to be with me? Even though I have no idea where I’m going to be?” He studied her face. “I don’t want you to be unhappy, Cy.”
“I won’t be. I love the outdoors and I love what I get to do. And… I love you.” She shrugged, nothing more important than that. “I don’t want to see you every few months like Emma sees Nate. I can’t handle that. I just got to see you again and it’s only been eight weeks.” She shook her head. “I can’t. And since I don’t have to, I won’t.” She nodded her head shortly. That was that.
He chuckled, then his face sobered. “Yeah, I know. I don’t want to miss out on time with you either. Nate… Nate said Emma has been sick a lot. He wants us to take a lower paying job closer to Taylor Falls this summer so he can be home more. She’s weak and he doesn’t like it.” His expression brightened. “But on the bright side, we might be able to work on Bella Acres this winter. Nate’s animals are starting to take off, thanks to Stefanie and Hannah. Sounds like a really good herd.”
Cyan smiled, her heart happy but sad. If Emma didn’t get better, where would that leave Nate? She was quite fond of the family and each person was quickly claiming a piece of her heart. Emma had to get better. Nate wouldn’t survive losing her.
The family wouldn’t survive.
She squeezed Jareth’s hand. “I’m so glad I have you.” She blinked back the tears. She never wanted to be without him. The thought of not having him with her, for any reason, made her heart cry.
He pulled her close and kissed her with a comforting pressure. He leaned back and rested his forehead against hers. “I’m grateful for you, too, Cyan.”
They’d be fine. Everyone would be fine. Cyan would buy happy-ever-afters for everyone if she had to.
No matter how forbidden they might be.
The end of Forbidden Trails, book #2 of The Montana Trails series, Clearwater County Collection.
Round up Unbridled Trails, book #3 of The Montana Trails series and the rest of the series. Read more about Nate Rourke and Jareth Darby and their cousins, and what can make a cowboy lose his heart.
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Dear Survivor,
Wow, Jareth didn’t realize how lonely he was. And poor Cyan. I love that she’s discovering her strength in herself and that she has nothing to be ashamed of.
The spider was NOT my favorite part. *grin*.
The rest of this series is full of twists and turns and emotional turmoil. I do hope you’ll continue with me. The Montana Trail cousins have tough times ahead, but I promise they will each get to be happy. I love them and I wouldn’t leave them without a happy ending.
But then again, this is me… so who knows what’s going to happen.
Thank you so much for spending so much time with me. Don’t forget to sign up for my newsletter. I love hearing from you and I hope I get to see you at some of my upcoming events.
Don’t hesitate to drop me a line and let me know what you think. Please leave a review wherever you are able. Authors need reviews more than you know!
Until the next book, if you’d like to see more of me, follow me on social media and sign up for my newsletter.
Stay Alive,
Bonnie
Clearwater County Collection has multiple subseries! Here’s the reading order.
Lonely Lace series
Spurs and Lace (book #1)
Secrets and Lace (Book #2)
Sorrows and Lace (Book #3)
Redemption series
Romancing Redemption (Book #1) (FREE)
Riding for Redemption (Book #2)
Resisting Redemption (Book #3)
Regretting Redemption (Book #4)
Rewarding Redemption (Book #5)
The Montana Trails series
Broken Trails (Book #1)
Forbidden Trails (Book #2)
Unbridled Trails (Book #3)
For a list with covers and descriptions as well as links to all of Bonnie’s other works, please click here.
About the Author
Bonnie R. Paulson is all about survival. Do you have what it takes to turn the page?
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Acknowledgements
To Bear – I love you.
To Victoria, Nancy, and Susan – thank you so much for the great title!
Team Paulson! You’re the best!
Captiva Publishing
Bonnie R. Paulson
www.bonnierpaulson.net
Copyright © 2016 Bo
nnie R. Paulson
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means without the prior written consent of the publisher, excepting brief quotes used in reviews.
This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to any person, living or dead, any place, events or occurrences, is purely coincidental. The characters and story lines are created from the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.
This book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This book may not be resold.
Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
Cover design by Kristin Bryant, contact her through [email protected]
Editing by BrenStyle Editing
Forbidden Trails: A Clearwater County Romance (The Montana Trails Series Book 2) Page 15
