by J. P. Grider
Rain reached out and took his wrist, using the middle finger on her other hand to touch the scar beneath the art. “I never asked you what your tattoo meant. I’m sorry I never looked at it closely,” she whispered.
He watched her finger graze the mark that signified the end of his life—the loss of his mother, the loss of his father’s love, the loss of his happy childhood.
“You cut vertically. I thought when people, well, did this, they cut horizontally.”
“I meant business. I cut along the vein,” he said, severing his focus on her touch and instead looking into her eyes.
She held his gaze. “When your father found you, were you, were you conscious?”
Noah nodded. “Very. And very aware that Sofia was standing right behind him.”
Rain closed her eyes for a moment. “Why was she there?”
“She couldn’t get in touch with me, so she came over looking for me. Made my dad wonder for the first time too, since I don’t think he really cared where the hell I was at the time.”
“That does not sound like Brick at all. He always spoke so highly of you. He missed you a lot too.”
Noah scoffed. “How so?”
“I don’t know, he just said it a lot. Sometimes to my mother, sometimes to Norah, a couple of times even just to me.”
“You? What’d he say?”
She blushed. “Just that he thought we’d get along. He said you were quiet, but because I was,” she chuckled on her words, “outspoken and honest, I’d probably be able to bring you out of your shell.”
Noah’s face fell flat. His father wasn’t wrong. That’s exactly what she’d done, even though she probably didn’t realize it. “I’m surprised my father knew me so well.”
Rain smiled, but then when it sunk in what he’d meant about his father knowing him so well, her dimple deepened. But then, she frowned. “Do you ever wish you’d succeeded?”
“With what?”
“The suicide.”
“Oh.” He sighed. “Oh. Not anymore.”
“At the time, though…I understand.”
“At the time, all I kept seeing was my mother. Lifeless in that hospital bed. I, I just couldn’t get the image out of my mind.” Noah’s hand flew to his mouth. “I’m sorry,” he choked out. “We should go.”
Rain rested her hand on top of his. “I understand,” she said, her own eyes bubbling over.
He took his other hand and covered hers. “That you do, my dear. That you do.”
Rain smiled and then finished her tea and stuck the cup in the bag. “I guess we can go, so we can get home before they wake up. I don’t want them going out without letting us know or anything.”
Noah nodded. “I’m going to talk to Sofia,” he said out of the blue.
“Oh.” He could tell he took her by surprise.
“I’m going to end it for good.”
“Oh?”
“It’s time. She was my first and all, so I guess it’s been hard to cut ties, ya know? She was comfortable. Didn’t have to make much of an effort or anything.”
“Sometimes relationships take effort. They’re not always easy you know; they take work.”
“Hence, the reason I’m going to end it. It’s not her I want to make it work with.”
“Right,” Rain nodded, stood up, obviously ignoring his comment, and then asked, “So, she was your first, huh?”
“Yup,” he said in response, getting up and taking her hand. As they strolled toward his bike, he added, “And you were my second.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
Second? No wonder he had a problem with Lorraine sleeping around. He was practically a virgin.
Lorraine was too embarrassed to respond to that, so she put on her helmet and ignored his announcement. After Noah started his bike, and before he took off, he grabbed her hands from the sides of his waist and pulled them across his stomach. “We don’t want you falling off.”
She smiled and leaned into his back. How was it possible that the more she tried to ignore her feelings for him, the deeper she fell? Maybe it would be better if he moved out, then she could pretend that she didn’t have it bad for her stepbrother. But she didn’t really mean that, not at all. More than anything, she wished dating her stepbrother wasn’t considered taboo, because she really wanted to kiss him again. She snuggled closer to him, closed her eyes, and pretended for the remainder of the ride home that he was hers.
When the bike came to a stop and the sound of the engine silenced, Lorraine jumped back into reality and removed herself from Noah’s back. “Thanks for the ride, Noah,” she said when she handed him her helmet.
He stared into her eyes for a long moment. “My pleasure,” he whispered.
He went into his apartment, she, into the house. As Noah had predicted, the kids were still asleep in their rooms, so Lorraine took the quiet time to make a phone call to her grandmother.
“Hey, Rainy, how are you?”
“Just as good as I was two days ago when you called,” Lorraine laughed.
“Did you and your brother have a good birthday weekend?”
“Yeah, Meem, it was nice.”
“What’s wrong, Rainy? I hear it in your voice.”
“Do you think I’m doing the right thing by fighting for custody of Norah?”
“Of course I do, why the change of heart?”
“No, no change of heart. Just wondering if I’m really qualified. Even for Carter. Wouldn’t they be better off with adults?”
“Well, certainly someone with more parenting experience, but every parent had to be a new parent at some point.”
“Not to two pre-teens right off the bat, Mimi.”
Mimi laughed. “No. Lorraine, are you asking me to take them? Because I told you, I would. I still mean it. Even if you wanted to stay with me too, I’ll make room.”
“No. Um. No. I don’t want to separate us, I was just wondering if they’d be better off, that’s all.”
“I think they’d be fine with you, honey. But oh, remember I said I talked with Nick DeGrecco on Friday?”
“Yeah. You were going to come up for the deposition or something like that?”
“Yes. I’ll be there. But, he called me late Friday, after I’d spoken with you. I’ll be coming up next Wednesday. He’s trying to push it through quickly.”
“Oh, how come I wasn’t told?”
“He’ll call you tomorrow. He knew I had to make plane reservations, so I asked him to call me back as soon as he found out the date from Margaret Pearson’s lawyer.”
“Oh. Okay. Does Noah have to be there?”
“Mr. DeGrecco doesn’t want him there, no. He wants this between you and Margaret, and me, since as soon as I can get your grandfather and me up there, I’ll be granted permanent custody, at least of Carter.”
“Mimi, I hope they don’t take Norah away from us. I don’t think her aunt was even ever a part of their lives, even before their mother died.”
“I know. I’m not sure why she’s doing this either.”
“How’s Grandpa?”
“Getting better. He’s still gets confused every now and then. He has some blockages in his arteries, but they’re doing what they can.”
“I’m sorry, Mimi.”
“Hey, you go enjoy the rest of your weekend. I’m looking forward to seeing you on Wednesday night.”
“Oh. What time? I can come get you at the airport.”
“No. I already scheduled a car service. I’ll see you about sevenish.”
“I can’t wait.”
***
Mimi received the biggest hug from Carter when she walked in, surprising both Lorraine and Noah. “Whoa, baby-boy, how are you?”
“Good, Meem.” His hug was quick, but it certainly pleased everyone in the room, especially Lorraine; it was the first time Carter had shown that much emotion since before his mother passed. “I have a girlfriend now.”
And now Lorraine knew why Carter was so happy.
&n
bsp; “Wow, Car, you turn thirteen, and suddenly you have a girlfriend. I hope she’s nice to you.”
“Oh, she is,” Carter beamed.
Noah leaned in and whispered to Lorraine, “I guess I better have a talk with him, huh?”
Lorraine cringed but nodded, then led the group into the kitchen where she fed them breaded chicken parmigiana—a first for Lorraine.
During dinner, Mimi asked everyone how they were doing and expected them to go into detail. When they wouldn’t, she probed them. “I’m sorry,” she said to Norah when the soon to be thirteen year old almost burst into tears at the questioning. “I just want to catch up with all of you. Are you okay, honey?”
Norah nodded. “May I be excused?”
Mimi gave Lorraine a weird look before she excused Norah from the table. “Carter, if you’re finished with dinner, you may be excused too. Just bring your plates to the sink first.”
“So formal,” Noah pointed out, and Lorraine giggled.
Mimi raised a brow. “What’s wrong with Norah? She’s changed.”
“Yeah?” Noah asked, still clueless to Norah’s change, even though Lorraine had told him she thought something was wrong.
“You haven’t noticed?” Mimi asked, surprised.
“I did,” Lorraine said, feeling bad that she’d overlooked Norah’s recent aloofness. “She’s been a little withdrawn and distant, but she still goes out with Kyle and Ashley.”
“Out? There’s no reason for a twelve year old girl to be out. Where does she go?”
“Mostly to Dunkin’ Donuts and McDonald’s. They’re right around the corner,” Lorraine said defensively, though ashamed for not being a better guardian.
“Lorraine. Did your mother allow you to roam the streets when you were her age?”
Lorraine bit her lip and shook her head, quietly answering with a simple, “No.”
“Corrinne,” Noah interjected. “Rain really does do a good job with Norah and Carter. Both of us thought it was in the realm of a kid her age to walk around the neighborhood. She doesn’t go far, and Rain always knows where they are.” Noah briefly laid his hand on Lorraine’s thigh, before pulling it away. “She’s doing a good job, Corrinne.”
Mimi eyed the two of them, then said, “I’m sorry, Rainy. I wasn’t implying you weren’t doing a good job. I’m sorry.”
“I really did think it was okay for her to go that far with her friends, Mimi. She’s going to be thirteen next month, and she never goes alone.”
“I’m sorry, honey. I used to let your mother ride around on her bike all day long. I’m sure she did let you walk around with friends. I’ve been a little on edge because of your grandfather.”
“I’m sorry, Corrinne.”
“Thanks. I’m having a hard time getting the insurance company to cover hospitalization for him up here, and if he doesn’t recover soon, we’re talking long-term health care.” She shook her head. “I shouldn’t be taken it out on you.”
“I can help with the funds,” Noah blurted.
“What?” Lorraine and Mimi said in unison.
“My father left me quite a bit. He meant for it to be distributed among the family. You’re family.”
“Oh, honey, that’s sweet, but that kind of care is extremely expensive. But I doubt it’ll come to that. He’s strong. Still, I’d hate for you to go through your inheritance for Grandpa, but thank you. And what about college? You’ll need some of that for school, won’t you?”
Lorraine and Noah gave each other a knowing look. “He quit school, Meem. To come live with us.”
“I’m aware of that, but don’t tell me you haven’t thought about applying to colleges in New Jersey, or even New York?”
“Mimi—”
“Well, funny you should ask.” Noah rested his hand back on Lorraine’s thigh. “I didn’t tell you, Rain,” he looked Lorraine in the eyes. “I called the Dean of Pratt...Duke’s engineering school, and he set me up with an interview this Wednesday with the Dean of Admissions at Fairleigh.”
Wide-eyed and smiling, Lorraine said, “Fairleigh Dickinson?”
“Yup. Teaneck.”
“What made you do that?”
“You,” he said as if there could be no other motivation.
“Me?”
“You’ve been doing so much around here, and you work, yet you didn’t quit college. Thought I should man-up.”
Without thinking, she squeezed the heck out of him. “Oh, Noah, I’m so happy.” Over his shoulder, she said, “I always felt so bad that you quit Duke.”
Noah hugged her back, but quickly let her go. “Don’t feel bad.”
“But it was my fault. I came to you a mess, and I didn’t think I could do it on my own, but I could, and it just wasn’t fair of me to ask—”
“Rain. Starting to ramble again. It’s fine. I needed to be here.” His hand went back to her leg. “And Fairleigh’s close enough to come home if you need me.”
“So, you're moving there?”
Noah squeezed her thigh; Lorraine hoped her grandmother couldn't see where his hand was. “If I get accepted, yeah. It’ll give you a better chance at getting Norah too.”
Lorraine felt sad. She liked having Noah here. “Oh.” She forced a smile. “Well, I’m glad you’re going back to college.”
“Maybe. I still have to be accepted,” he reminded her.
They broke their gaze upon each other when Mimi coughed. Lorraine’s cheeks flushed.
“Well, I’m glad you made the decision to go back to college, Noah. From what Brick used to tell us, you are quite the prodigy.”
“Prodigy?” Noah asked on a laugh. “No. Not even close. My brain just processes things quickly and easily. I don’t have any special talents or anything like that. I’m no Blaise Pascal.”
“Who?” the two women asked simultaneously.
“A French mathematician and physicist. A child prodigy who...oh nevermind. I’m intelligent, Corrinne, but I’m not a prodigy.”
“A genius?”
“Uh. I have a lot of book smarts.” He looked at Lorraine and winked. “Not so much common sense sometimes, though.”
Lorraine noticed her grandmother looking at them thoughtfully before she asked, “Do you two ever get alone time?”
“What?” Lorraine asked wide-eyed, while Noah practically choked to death on his water.
“Do you two ever get down time? You’re both so busy being parents that I’m afraid you’re missing out on your own young adulthood.”
Noah laughed and drummed the table. “I get plenty of downtime, Corrinne. I’m sorry I can’t say the same for Rain, though; she’s committed herself one-hundred percent to the children and this house. She could definitely use some time to decompress.”
“While I’m here, Lorraine, why don’t you do that? You’re only obligated to come with me to the deposition tomorrow morning. I’m not going back to Florida until Monday. Take the weekend to go away. Take a trip down the shore; you’ve always loved the shore during the off-season.”
Noah piped in with, “That’s a great idea, Rain. I’m sure you can take off of work, and finals aren’t until next month, right? Go down the shore. You need it.”
“I don’t know—” Lorraine started to say before her grandmother said, “You should go with her, Noah.”
“What? No. I don’t have a job, nor do I go to school. I don’t need to decompress. Thank you, though.”
Lorraine looked at him, willing him with her lame mind power to say yes, even though she knew that would end up a truly bad idea.
“Well, this way, I don’t have to worry about Rainy being alone down there.”
“Mimi. I’m nineteen years old. I can take care of myself.”
“Of course you can, but what fun is it to go away alone?”
“Mimi. I thought decompressing was better done alone.”
“No, baby girl, to decompress, you need to relax and have fun. I can see by your relationship,” she nodded to both Lorraine and Noah
, “that you two get along well, so, I think it would be good for the two of you.”
Mimi did not know what the heck she was getting Lorraine and Noah into. If she did, she would not be encouraging them to take a weekend together.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
Noah was reluctant to take Rain’s grandmother’s advice, but only because he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to control himself for a whole weekend alone with her, not because he didn’t want to. There was nothing he wanted more than to be with Rain. Alone. For days.
Though Rain said she’d prefer to take Noah’s motorcycle down to Seaside Heights, the weather was unpredictable in April, and they mutually decided to drive down in Rain’s Kia.
“You sure this is okay, Mimi?” she asked for the billionth time today, squatting down and petting her Sunny-boy.
“Yes, Rainy, go. The kids’ll be fine. You need a vacation.”
“I agree,” Noah said, nodding, his knapsack slung over his shoulder, anxious to get away despite his reluctance, since he’d done practically nothing since walking out in the middle of the NCAA Championship tournament.
“Remember, Norah usually hangs with Ashley and sometimes Kyle after school, and lately, Carter brings Kara home and they do homework and play video games.” She picked up her dog and stood with him. “And Sunny needs to be walked at about seven in the morning and when one of the kids gets home after school and then before you go to bed. And feed him twice a day, but give him snacks. They’re in the cabi—”
“Sweetheart, I got it. If I have any questions, I’ll call you.”
Rain put down her pup and hugged her grandmother, Noah waved good-bye, and the two of them got in the car, Rain behind the wheel. “I feel so guilty,” she said before they’d even pulled onto the street.
“Why? If you’re grandfather wasn’t ill, your grandmother would be the one with custody anyway. Try to relax.”
