“Don’t worry, Mom.” Anna rolled her eyes at the pot she was cleaning. “We’ll go slow.”
“I care about you, honey. And I don’t want you to get hurt. That’s all.”
Anna didn’t answer. She continued doing the dishes until her mother walked out of the kitchen. And then she slumped over the warm suds, wishing she was in Pemba’s arms.
* * *
“That was an evening from hell,” Dvara said once they had shifted home from the park near Anna’s. “What do you see in her? At least Ulf has something to offer.”
“Shut up, Dvara. You didn’t have to stay, you know.”
“Yes, I did. You weren’t supposed to fall in love with her. You were just supposed to read her memories of Jing Mei. And if I need to do it myself, it would be better if she trusted me. But she doesn’t, so I’ll have to go through someone else. Like Ingrid or Ulf.”
“You won’t touch her.” His rök was ready to explode in an involuntary morph.
“Snap out of it. We have a problem to deal with. And your feelings for Anna are blinding you completely. You’re not even trying to figure out how Haakaramanoth duplicated our trails.”
“I have been working on it.”
“Like when you stare out the window all afternoon?” Dvara snorted. “Right now they know more about us than we do about them. You felt Jing Mei hide her trail. What further proof do you need? Wake up. The void-trails are dragons. That means that there are at least four more than—”
“—they aren’t dragons,” Rakan said coldly.
“Well, dragon or not, they’re protecting Paaliaq. So, unless we can figure out how to kill only Paaliaq, we’ll have to kill them too.”
“Even if she is Paaliaq, we can’t kill the others without reason. It’s against the Code.”
“If they block our right to kill Paaliaq, then we can.”
“There are too many of them.”
“There are ways of killing them. If we choose to use them.”
“What ways?” Rakan didn’t like the cold look of intent on Dvara’s face.
“With a trigger.”
“No trigger is strong enough to do that.”
“Khotan has been working on a trigger to explode a Maii-a.”
Rakan examined his sister. “Khotan wouldn’t develop that kind of bomb.” Each gram would release enough energy to explode a city. And a Maia-a weighed about twenty grams.
Dvara raised an eyebrow. “Ask him.”
“Even if he has, it would be against the Code to use it.”
“We’re allowed to use triggers.”
“Only while in hand-to-hand combat. Not to destroy everything within a hundred kilometer radius, including ourselves.”
“The Draak will die if we can’t use Earth as a breeding ground. And Yarlung will never agree to anyone settling on Earth until Paaliaq is dead. Why does it matter how we kill her?”
“Because there’s such a thing as honor and being able to live with yourself. I couldn’t live with knowing that we had killed everyone in Tromso.” Including Anna. Rakan’s vision of Dvara shimmered as a thermal image of her overlaid the normal one. “I think I need to morph.” His vision only included the infrared range when his pupils spread into the cat-like slits of his dragon form. He was losing control.
Dvara put a hand on his shoulder. “Khotan said I should come home for my first morph on my own. I can tell him I want his help now.”
Rakan shook his head. “I just need some time.”
“We don’t have time.”
“I’ll be fine.”
“I told him we were coming.”
“Why did you do that?”
“For you, you idiot.” Dvara flung her arms up in the air. “Why can’t you ever accept anyone’s help?”
Rakan watched Dvara disappear into her room. His rök lurched violently. He needed to morph, but he didn’t want to leave Tromso. Not when Dvara might have already planted one of the triggers she was talking about.
He’d never forgive himself if something happened to Anna.
Chapter 10
On Edge
MONDAY MORNING ANNA WOKE UP EARLY. Something was wrong, but she didn’t know what. Her cheekbones burned, the way they had when her father disappeared ten years ago. She got up and went to her mom’s room. She listened at the door, wondering if Ulf was there and if she could somehow check that her mom was okay. But she was too repulsed by the thought of seeing Ulf to look. She made coffee and sat in the window seat instead. It’s okay, everything’s fine. Or as fine as it can be with Ulf still around. Right? But even the mountain across the fjord had abandoned her. Instead of shimmering in the arctic twilight, it sat hunched over like an old man, looking cold and lonely. Anna leaned against the window and stared at the parked cars below. Why hadn’t Pemba returned her calls?
Anna walked slowly to school. Half of her wanted to run and the other half knew Pemba wouldn’t be there. She stopped on the hill and tried his phone once more. She hung up when the voice mail answered on the first ring. Again. And then she couldn’t take it anymore. She panicked and ran to school.
She stood at the top of the hill, anxiously waiting as people arrived. But not Pemba. Anna even started hoping Dawa would arrive. At least she could ask her what was wrong with Pemba.
“Hey, Anna,” June said, coming up the hill with Erling. “What’s up?”
“Nothing.” Her voice snagged.
June let go of Erling and came closer. “What kind of nothing?”
Anna shrugged her shoulders.
“You want to talk about it?” June hooked her arm through Anna’s and walked with her towards the schoolyard.
“Do you ever get the feeling that something has happened, but you don’t know what?” Anna stopped June so that they were alone.
June looked at her for a long time without saying anything. “Yes. Although I usually have a gut feeling about what happened, even if I don’t want to believe it.”
“Me too,” Anna said quietly. It wasn’t really what she had wanted to hear.
June put her arm around Anna’s shoulders and they walked across the schoolyard. “Join us for lunch?” asked June as the bell rang.
“Okay.” Anna gave her friend a hug when they split on the stairs. She walked reluctantly to class. If she knew where Pemba lived, she’d skip school and go to his house.
He was in pain. She could feel it.
* * *
Rakan twisted in agony on the couch. “Don’t morph until Khotan can talk you through it,” he croaked. “I can’t help you right now. I…” His body shook violently, flashing hot and cold as his rök veered out of control. “I’m losing it.”
“Stop talking, Rakan,” Dvara said, steadying him as he stood up. “You should have agreed to go earlier. Just shift.”
“Dvara?”
“What now?”
“Thanks.”
“Idiot,” she said, punching him gently in the arm. “Let’s go.”
Rakan didn’t even need to nod. They shifted simultaneously. But he nearly got stuck in some of the transitional layers between the different tectonic plates and came out a fraction of second after Dvara. The thin air of the Ngari plateau filled his lungs. He dropped to his knees, trembling with pain and exhaustion. Even though the actual shift was nearly instantaneous, the effort was excruciating. And for the first time it had scared him. He had felt himself on the verge of an uncontrolled morph, which would have meant instant death. It wasn’t possible to morph and shift at the same time. He shivered at the thought and sank his hands into the arid earth. Home. His pulse quickened as his flesh became denser, thickening and hardening as he morphed into his true form. He bellowed in pleasure and stretched his wings. Free at last. The sun had long since risen, but he launched himself into the sky to greet it anyway. He pumped the air with his wings, feeling the rush of flight that he loved so much. He flew through a series of arabesques until his rök responded, purifying his flame. He shot higher into the sky. His
coral-colored flame burst out from within. Pure and powerful, like the sun itself. After days of repressing it, he had finally been able to answer the primordial Call to Rise in a magnificent display of orange flames.
Satisfied for the first time in weeks, he stretched his wings and circled above the plateau, angling down slowly. But then he remembered that Dvara was about to try her first morph alone. He folded his wings and plummeted. A writhing mass of vermillion and burgundy showed him he was too late. Khotan was struggling to restrain Dvara. She howled in rage and frustration at her captivity. She thrashed wildly, trying to kill Khotan just to get free. Rakan knocked his father to the side and flattened Dvara. If he could restrain her long enough for Khotan to reach her mentally, she’d be alright. But she wouldn’t calm down. Rakan had no choice but to claw into her to keep her from disappearing into the earth’s mantle and tunneling down to the molten rock that she craved with suicidal wrath.
She went limp. Rakan loosened his grip on her bloodied hide. She scrambled to her feet and slithered into the ground. Rakan morphed back to his human form and turned to his father, who was panting on his knees.
“She’ll be okay now,” Rakan said. “Are you alright?”
“I think so.” He pushed himself up. “But she’ll need some time alone for her pride to adjust.” Khotan stood still, majestic in his flowing dragon pants and shaved head in spite of the dust and blood spattered on him. “Just thank her for having brought you. I wouldn’t have been able to help you both, had you waited any longer.”
Rakan stared at his father. Dvara had only asked for Khotan’s help because Rakan needed to morph. She’d never have asked otherwise. Even if, given how her morph had gone, it was obvious that she had needed the help. He wished he had realized how bad a state she had been in, but he had been in too much pain. “You knew she asked because I needed to morph?”
“Rakan,” said Khotan gently. “I know Dvara even better than I know you. I’ve held her rök. She has no secrets – good or bad – for me. I just pretend not to know, for her sake. She needs time to learn that she has nothing to prove. Until then, it will be difficult for her to control her rök.” Khotan put a hand on Rakan’s shoulder and guided him towards the mineral hot spring that they always soaked in after sparring. “Let her be for now. She’ll come back when she’s ready.”
Rakan threw off his black pants and sank into the water, blissfully free until the thought of Anna soaking in the spring with him aroused something he didn’t want to feel. He groaned and leaned stiffly against the rock, wondering if he should morph again to let off some steam.
“I think you need some time alone too,” Khotan said. He hoisted himself out of the pool. “Do you remember what I told you when you came of age, and Yarlung decided that you would stay here and keep your rök instead of joining one of the other Cairns?”
“That I needed to learn to control my rök or it would kill me?”
Khotan smiled. “Yes. But that was only part of what I said, and I think you’ve taken it too literally. What’s even more important is that you need to be true to yourself. If you aren’t, a breach with your rök will appear. And as that breach increases, so will your difficulty in controlling your rök when you morph.” Khotan’s outline was visible against the pale evening sky. “There are only two possible outcomes. Either you learn to accept who you really are and you become one with your rök, or you don’t and your rök kills you.”
His father’s outline faded into the night. Rakan groaned and sank under the water until his lungs were on fire and he was forced to come up, gasping for air. He morphed out of the water in a bellowing rage. He wanted to fight. At least when he was fighting, he knew what to do.
* * *
Anna paced back and forth in the living room. She had a ton of homework, but couldn’t sit still to do it. Pemba hadn’t been at school for more than a week. Her phone rang, and she lunged for it. But it was only June.
“Hey – we’re going to watch the film on the snow screen, want to come?” June asked.
“Uh, I don’t know. It’s kind of late.”
“It’s only 8:00 – and Haakon says they can drop you off, it’s on their way back to campus. You coming?” June paused, waiting for an answer. “It’ll be fun. See you in ten?” she said when Anna didn’t respond.
“I guess so,” Anna said. Going out would be better than staying at home and checking her phone every few minutes. “Are you guys already there?”
“Almost. We’ll save you a place. Bye.”
Anna scrawled a note for her mom, even though she was working the nightshift. She didn’t like the idea of her mom worrying if she came home early for some reason. Anna jumped off the porch and embraced the winter air that wrapped her in its heavy mantle. She paused for a moment to enjoy the pristine beauty of the snow that scintillated in the moonlight and breathed in deeply, coughing once as the cold air hit her lungs.
By the time Anna reached the town’s main square and the huge outdoor movie screen made of snow, there were couples and families and groups of friends sprawled along the gentle slope that eased into the shimmering fjord. But she didn’t see June. Or Haakon, who was as massive as a bodybuilder and hard to miss. Her happiness at being outside disappeared. Being the only single person with two couples wasn’t going to be much fun either. The aching void that Anna had tried to push aside came back full force.
“Anna, we’re over here,” someone called. Anna turned around to see Erling, June and Lysa waving from makeshift seats carved out of a snowdrift. Haakon was spreading out some blankets for his girlfriend, Liv, to sit on. Anna made her way through the crowd to join them. Even the twins were there.
“Hey. Glad you could come,” June said. She gave Anna a quick hug and patted the snow bank next to her. “I saved you a seat.”
“You haven’t missed much,” Haakon said as Anna squeezed in between him and June.
“Want some coffee?” asked Liv. She leaned over Haakon and offered Anna a plastic cup.
“Ah, sure.” She felt the twins lurking behind them and looked their way. They were standing perfectly still, their faces like masks. As always, they reminded her of bodyguards and made her feel uncomfortable. She felt Haakon take her cup. “Oh, thanks,” she said, turning back to him as he poured her some coffee from a thermos.
“You’re welcome,” said Liv and Haakon together.
Anna smiled and shook her head. They were the only couple she knew who were always in synch. Maybe it was because they complemented each other – there was something aerial about Liv with her undulating blonde hair, blue eyes and pale skin. Haakon, on the other hand, looked like a rock with his square jaw and high cheekbones. Solid and stable. Or maybe it was because they had been dating for as long as she could remember.
Anna sipped her coffee and watched the movie. It was about two friends who couldn’t manage to communicate. The movie had been shot in the high mountains and the rugged beauty of the land underscored their estrangement, making the movie painfully difficult to watch. Especially when she would’ve loved to be in the high mountains with Pemba. But he wasn’t even in Tromso anymore. She wished she hadn’t come.
“You’re not alone,” June said, nudging her shoulder. “Remember that.”
Anna felt a wave of warmth surround her and she looked at June in surprise. “How do you do that?” It was just like something Pemba would do.
June laughed. “Ask Haakon. He’s much better at it than I am.”
“Later,” Anna said, looking back at the snow screen after a quick glance at Haakon and Liv confirmed that they were cuddled up in a ball.
But she couldn’t get back into the film, in spite of the majestic images of the mountains. Or maybe because of them. She ached to be there with Pemba, high above the treeline where the mountains were alive. She felt a ripple in the air and something tingled at the nape of her neck. A void was being filled. Her heart raced. Pemba. He was back. She could feel his whirling energy pulsing nearby. She jumped up and
ran towards the feeling, blindly following it to the empty street that ran along the top of the square. “Pemba?” she called out, looking around. He wasn’t there. Confused, she closed her eyes and concentrated on the whirling energy that was throbbing nearby. She reached out to touch him, to let him know that she was there. A wave of warmth enveloped her. She floated in his touch. He was here. She smiled and opened her eyes, eager to throw herself into his arms, only to see a man who looked like a Mongolian prince striding towards her. His heavily brocaded overcoat flowed around him. Despite the biting cold he hadn’t even bothered to close it. Anna’s heart pounded. The feeling was his, and he wasn’t Pemba.
Petrified by her mistake, Anna stood still as the man approach. He had spiked black hair and long sideburns. Something flickered deep in her memory, as if she should recognize him but didn’t. And it terrified her even more.
He strode up to Anna. “You really know how to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, don’t you?” he hissed, his breath hot on her face.
Anna felt a wave of his anger rush over her. She wanted to turn and run away. But her legs wouldn’t respond. “I thought you were someone else,” she said, trying to keep her voice monotonous.
“Don’t ever reach out to touch someone unless you know who they are. There are those who would kill you for less. Is that clear?”
“Torsten, my old friend,” said Haakon, pushing Anna gently to the side. “We weren’t expecting you back so soon. Why don’t you go join the others, Anna? Torsten and I have a few things to discuss.”
Anna nodded. Torsten frightened her so much it made her bones hurt. But the tension that clung to the two men like a haze made her hesitate. She backed up a few steps before walking to the edge of the crowd. She’d get help if they started fighting.
Anna tried to listen to their argument, but they were too far away. All she could make out were harsh guttural sounds that reminded her of when Pemba and Dawa spoke together. Anna moved closer. It couldn’t be the same language. Haakon was her cousin’s best friend. She had known him all her life. Haakon was half Sámi and half Norwegian. He had always lived in Tromso.
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