by Ward, Susan
OK, that was putting it on a little thick.
Fuck, did I overplay this?
Blue eyes stare unwaveringly into mine. I fight not to lower my gaze first—a dead giveaway I’m fibbing. Crap, I hope my cheeks aren’t burnish red. It feels like they’re on freaking fire.
Chrissie tilts her head and holds out her hand. “Fine. Give me the phone. If it checks out, you can go.”
Really?
I try not to be overly happy. I put my cell in her palm. “Call Mr. Kennedy.”
Chrissie taps through my contacts and frowns. “Ian?”
“He’s the one taking us.”
“Why is Zoe going alone with her dad? Where’s Yotti?”
Crap, suspicious again.
It sucks that all our parents know each other.
I shrug. “Her mom is in Bermuda. Mrs. Kennedy bailed last minute. I think they had a fight or something. Zoe is really sad.”
“Oh,” my mom says, conveying she’s not at all surprised by that creative factoid.
Good one, Zoe. That part worked brilliantly.
My mom sets the phone on the table and hits speaker. Ring. Ring. Ring. My leg wants to jiggle and I won’t let it. Another tell that I’m lying.
“Hello?”
“Ian, it’s Chrissie Harris—”
“Chrissie Harris, what the hell are you doing calling me at this hour?”
My mom laughs. “It’s after 10 a.m. Rough night, Ian?”
“Every night is a rough night. What’s going on, girl?”
Chrissie smiles and starts fiddling with her hair. “Do you know that you’re the only one who still calls me ‘girl’? But I love you for it, Ian.”
“Ah, tell me you love me again and you’ll break my heart again.”
They both laugh.
Shit—break my heart again—did my mom used to date Mr. Kennedy? Oh yuck. Not that Mr. Kennedy isn’t sort of cute for old guy, and was probably a total hottie when he was young, but I hate these unexpected bombs that hit me out of nowhere and say Chrissie used to have a life. She should be so much more of a cool mom than she is.
God, I hate lying.
Fuck, how long is this call going to take?
“I just wanted to thank you for including Kaley over the holidays,” my mom murmurs into the speaker. “Zoe’s such a sweetheart. A good friend to my daughter.”
“We feel the same way about Kaley.”
“Well, I just wanted you to know I appreciate your kindness to her. It’s been hard relocating. Adjusting. I’ve got a lot going on and your house has become practically Kaley’s second home.”
“You always have a lot going on, girl,” Ian teases. Gross. Did he just flirt with my mom? They both laugh again. “And we enjoy having her.”
Enjoy having her?
Really?
I’ve been to Zoe’s only twice, ever.
Maybe this was a good plan.
Hurry up. Hurry up.
I want to know if I’m busted or out of here.
“Well, thank you for letting my girl join you for the holidays. Have fun. I’m jealous. I could use a holiday.”
Oh crap.
Mom just rambled.
I sink my teeth into my lower lip and tense.
“Any time, Chrissie. We’re here for you always. We need to do dinner soon and catch up. It’s been too long.”
“We definitely do. Thanks, Ian. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving.”
“You, too, Chrissie.”
Click.
My mom shoves the phone across the table to me and sits back in her chair.
Fudge, I can’t tell which way this is going to go.
I pick up my cell. “Well, can I leave? I don’t want to keep Zoe hanging.”
Waiting.
Waiting.
Come on, Chrissie, come through for me.
My mom nods. “Do you have everything you need?”
A smile I can’t contain fills my face as I spring from the chair. “Yep, I have everything. Credit cards. Cash. I’m good.”
Chrissie frowns. “What about snow clothes?”
“I’m borrowing them from Zoe.” Shit. That was dumb. Zoe is a midget and she’s round. “Mrs. Kennedy has extra snow clothes. I didn’t want to buy anything. I may not like it. I’m not really into the snow. I’m like you. Beach girl all the way.”
Chrissie laughs and picks up her coffee cup. “That was nice of Yotti. I’m not really into the snow either. Jesse tried to teach me how to snowboard. This may surprise you. I’m not very coordinated. It wasn’t good.”
I laugh. Jeez, don’t let this turn into an hour-long conversation down memory lane.
I don’t know what else to do.
I kiss my mom on the head.
“See you Sunday night, Mom.”
I go for my bag.
“Call me when you get there, Kaley. And check in with me every night and every morning. I worry when you’re gone.”
Well, that’s going to be a buzzkill; spending my entire five days with Bobby phoning Mom.
I nod. “I will, Mom.”
“Love you.”
“Me, too.”
I hurry out the front door, and find Zoe waiting at the curb like she said she would be. I toss my bag into the back and climb into the passenger seat.
She gives me a slightly gloating expression. “I told you it would work.”
I make a face at her, but then we both laugh.
She pulls away from the curb. “Did she call my dad?”
“Yep.”
Zoe shakes her head. “My dad never knows what’s going on and my mom bitches at him so much about it he’s afraid to admit it. I could tell him anything and he’d just say ‘oh yeah.’”
“Well, there was a moment there I thought busted.”
“Nope, wasn’t going to happen. Do you want to stop for coffee before we go to Jake’s to meet up with everyone?”
“Yep. Make a stop. I need a latte with about six shots to recover from that call. They flirted with each other. So obvious. So gross.”
Zoe scrunches up her face. “Yuck. My dad is such a flirt.”
I think of Alan and I don’t want to. “At least he’s not in the tabloids every day.”
She gives me a sharp look. “Nope, you’re not doing it on this trip, Kaley. We’re not talking about Alan Manzone. You are not cyberstalking the online tabloids or anything else. Google him even once and I’m taking your phone away.”
My cheeks redden.
“You’ve been really happy lately,” Zoe adds intensely. “Since Bobby. It’s nice. And Bobby is a great guy. You’re so lucky. Can’t you see that? Don’t you think he deserves some time with you just about him? When you don’t Google you’re more fun. And I want to have big fun this trip.”
Oh crap.
She’s right.
I arch a brow. “Big fun, huh? How do you know it’s big? I thought you and Jake weren’t doing it yet.”
She shrugs and pulls into the Starbucks drive-thru. “I know the same way you know Bobby’s is. Always wise to check out the package first. Better than being disappointed at the moment it matters. That’s what my mom told me.”
“Oh God. Yotti didn’t.”
“Yep, she did.”
We both burst out laughing.
CHAPTER 12
It’s dark by the time we reach Santa Cruz. The six-hour drive has been torture. My heart is thumping so rapidly it feels like I’m going to have a heart attack and for some strange reason I really want to call my mother.
Stupid, Kaley. That would so be the wrong move.
I left Pacific Palisades feeling almost drunk from the wildness of being on the edge of a change in my life—a change I’m desperate for, lied to get out of the house to make happen, and definitely want. More than eager to be five days alone with Bobby. No going home at night. Going to sleep and waking up next to him. No one stopping us. Just us. Together. Loving each other. Finally totally and completely everything a couple should be.
I left Southern California feeling determined, in control; my femaleness pumping through me like an adrenaline rush. Now I feel tentative and absurdly afraid. Reality started to melt down my euphoria when the cars with Zoe and Jake, Seth and his date cut out in Cambria for lunch, and Bobby decided to keep driving up Highway 1 without them.
An hour ago, I lapsed into silence and pretty much haven’t said a word since. I’ll be alone with Bobby at least three hours in our temporary digs in Santa Cruz before everyone else catches up—thanks to Seth’s mystery date keeping everyone waiting at Jake’s, and Bobby deciding we should start out before the rest of them to get things ready—and I don’t need to ask Bobby why he maneuvered that one.
He’s going to fuck me the second we get through the front door. The way he’s been watching me the entire drive tells me that. He’s never looked at me this way. And the light touches and little kisses throughout the hours have stirred my flesh into an unrelenting burn from head to toe.
The air around us is filled with sexual tension, but even as urgent as I am to have sex with him, sharp bites of nervousness I can’t quell nip at my insides.
This is so not the way I always pictured it would happen. I just sort of figured I’d be in the moment, my body carried beyond my control, and then I’d be screwing some guy and that stupid virginity thing would be done with. But this is different—and so much harder—a moment I have to make happen, step into, and consciously decide to do.
I don’t even know how to have sex with a guy. Not really. Doing bits and pieces in parts has got to be different than the whole enchilada and going all the way. And holy shit, we’re going to be sharing a bed for five days.
It’s what I want.
It’s not like I want to turn back.
Why am I freaking out and afraid?
Totally pathetic.
And completely embarrassing that I kind of want to call my mom and talk about this with her before I do it.
Crap, I hope Bobby can’t see that I’m scared.
He flicks the turn signal and we pull into the long driveway of a stunning house set right up against the beach. We slowly come to a stop and he turns off the engine.
My brows crinkle.
A house.
I thought we’d be staying at a hotel.
My emotions shift abruptly. I can’t tell; am I more or less nervous because of this? So ridiculous. Why does it matter where we do it for the first time?
“Whose house is this?” I ask.
Bobby pulls the keys from the ignition and angles in his seat, facing me. “Mine. My eighteenth birthday present.”
He says that in a no-big-deal, just-sort-of-is kind of way.
My eyes widen. “Your parents bought you a house as a birthday present? My last birthday I got some new cameras.”
His gaze softens into something subdued. “No. Linda bought me the house as a gift. I think she was worried I was going to take off and she’d never see me again. And if she gave me this then I’d have somewhere not too far from her to land if I did leave home.” He shakes his head. “I’d never do that to Linda. Disappear. I owe her a lot.”
Everything inside me starts to roil. “And are you going to leave after graduation and not come back like you told your dad?”
Bobby leans into me, brushing my cheek with his thumb and trailing light kisses along my jaw. “I’m never going to leave you. Not ever, Kaley.”
I feel a slight internal warning prick even as I melt into the play of his lips and touch. Not a totally direct answer. I’m not sure what it means. Right now I don’t care. A few kisses and I’m on fire in my sex.
He lifts his mouth, not pulling back, and I’m breathless. “Come on. Let’s go inside. If we stay out here much longer, I’m going to blow everything and jump you in the car.”
I stifle a laugh and make a face. “Jump me? Really? You’re such a sweet talker, Bobby.”
His eyes change, the color darkening. “You’re lucky I didn’t pull off the road two hours ago.” His voice is husky. “You don’t have any idea what it does to me having you sitting there looking at me that way. How ready I am to be with you.”
The lines of his face tighten. I become aware that we’re so close that our body heat mingles in the damp, foggy coastal air. The feel of him shoots through my veins blocking out all other thought and sensation.
I want him.
Now.
“Then why don’t you show me?” I whisper, my voice breathy and excited. “You got me here, Bobby Rowan. Why are we still in the car?”
He shakes his head. “Tonight we show each other. I want to make love to you but, Kaley, I want you to make love to me also. I want to make love over and over again until neither of us can take any more.”
Holy shit.
To cover my obviousness and trepidation, I make a silly little yikes and smile. “Extreme about everything, aren’t you, Bobby? And conceited, too. Maybe you won’t be any good. Maybe I won’t want you more than once.”
Laughing, Bobby climbs from the car and comes around to open my door. “With what I’m feeling from the both of us, I don’t think that’s something I have to worry about.” I climb from the seat and he drops a fast kiss on my mouth. “I hope you weren’t thinking I brought you here for a single fuck, a few of days of partying with our friends, and some surf time. You’ll be lucky if I let you out of the bed.”
I step into him, breathing in his scent before I touch my lips to his neck. “Sounds like a plan to me.”
He shivers and steps back, taking my hand and pulling me toward the front door. He pauses at a panel by the garage, punches in a code, and the front lights come on. We continue to the front stoop and he punches in another code and the door opens.
“Quite a house you’ve got here,” I tease, as he hits another panel in the foyer that turns on soft, recessed lighting through the living areas. “I hope you don’t think I’m going to be that easy for you. That all you’ve got to do is punch a code into me. That would definitely not be a moment I’d want to remember always. Unless you do it with your tongue. Yep, that might work…”
The look he gives me scatters my words. Oh shit. Me and my stupid, nervous babbling. OK, it was a lame joke—did I just piss him off or something else? I can’t read what I’m seeing on his face.
He releases my hand, closes the door behind us, drops the bags and then pins me against the wall, his lower body grinding into me, his mouth urgent against mine. His body is on fire, supercharged with arousal, and I struggle to match the heated thrust of his tongue, the force of his kisses and the flexing of hips into me.
His mouth lifts, but he continues to rub his erection into me, his panting drowning out my own rapid breathing. “Don’t mess around with me, Kaley,” he whispers against the skin beneath my ear. His hands move up my thighs, under my dress and then his fingers start teasing me through my panties. “We’ve been interrupted twice this week. I’ve been fucking hard as a rock since we left the ’Sades. If you don’t stop teasing me this isn’t going to go at all the way I planned.”
My eyes fly open. He’s really struggling to take this slow. For me. It’s sweet and totally Bobby and totally not what I want. I don’t want to think about it a second longer, waste another moment trying to figure out what to do. I just want to do.
I tell myself not to.
I do it anyway—
I arch my hips upward into Bobby, molding into his erection straining in his pants, and bite his neck.
“Oh fuck,” he moans before his mouth crashes back onto mine. He scoops me up into him. His fingers dig into my butt cheeks as my legs encircle his body, and we frantically consume each other as he starts moving us down a hallway.
“Why is everything a competition with you?” he whispers between kisses. “Even this. About you being in control. I want this to be perfect for you, but you keep pushing so I can’t—”
“I love you, Bobby. It’s already perfect. It’s what we both want. Let’s just let it happen.”
His eyes are bright, fervent, and I drag his face back to me, pouring every ounce of my own ragged need into our kiss. My breasts flatten against his chest with the tight wrapping of my arms around his neck, wanting to give him the feel of me as much as I can.
He sets me on a bed, sits beside me, and stills with his face against my shoulder and fingers clutching my hips. I can tell he’s trying to pull himself back into tight control and this time I let him.
I take a moment to check out exactly where we are.
The room has a massive stone fireplace in one corner. Ceiling-high windows overlook the Pacific. On the walls there are framed photos of him surfing and stunning paintings of seascapes. The enormous bed faces toward the ocean, the frame made of a distressed timber that looks almost like driftwood.
He starts moving around the room and I focus on anything but him, not wanting to lose even a small measure of my nerve now.
There are candles everywhere. Lit. I don’t know how, but someone was here before us to set them ablaze and I think they opened up the house because it doesn’t have that stuffy smell of having been shut up for a while. It smells of clean ocean air.
The room is perfect. Like a dream. And this is where I’m going to give myself to Bobby for the first time. This is it. We’re going to do it.
I’m feeling a little badly that I pushed at him in the foyer because one look at this place tells me it wasn’t bullshit, he does want our first time to be special, and he took time to think it through.
He slowly pulls back from me and stands. He steps out of his flip-flops, pulls off his shirt, and his hands move to the fastenings of his jeans. They sink low on his hips, and I stare at his beautifully muscled, sun-bronzed torso, suddenly quaking like a leaf even though the muscles inside me are pulsing almost to the point of pain.
Turning, he gazes at me, his face flushed and the skin taut across his features. He pulls from his pocket a handful of foil squares and tosses them on the bedside table. “Do you want me to blow out the candles?” he asks.
“No. You know I love candles. Everything is perfect exactly how it is. I can’t believe you did all this, Bobby.”
“I’ve been imagining this, you and how I want it, since the first night in your car,” he admits, not the least bit embarrassed by that confession, and his confidence out of nowhere is so sexy that it makes the blood pump faster and faster through my body.
