by Addison Cole
Tears welled in Frank’s eyes, drawing tears from Reed—for his mother, his father, Frank, or himself, he had no idea.
“That’s the day she went into labor. The day she told me the baby wasn’t mine. But she swore—swore on everything she’d ever known—that she loved us both, me and the other man.”
Reed sank down to the edge of the bed, dragging air into his lungs, trying to process this new, awful information.
“When she died,” Frank said, “part of me thought she’d just given up. That it was the other guy she loved and it was all too much. It wasn’t fair, and it wasn’t right, but I was a wreck, and then I had this tiny baby, someone else’s baby, to take care of when I couldn’t even take care of myself. I had lost the woman I loved and found out the life she’d nurtured belonged to another man. I could barely function. I tried, Reed. I tried to do the right thing, but every time I looked at you, I saw her and another man. After two days in our apartment, the apartment where…” He swallowed hard, wiped his eyes with his palm, and said, “Where I loved her. The apartment that held her lies, it was overwhelming, like riding a train that had careened off the tracks. I hit the bottle again, woke up with you screaming in your crib, and I knew I couldn’t do it.”
Reed clasped his hands behind his neck, staring down at the floor, and tried to remember how to breathe.
“I never told a soul about the other man. I never knew his name, where he lived, who called that day. Nothing,” Frank said. “I didn’t even tell Roy or Ella. I didn’t want them to think poorly of her.”
After all that, you protected my mother?
Reed’s eyes remained trained on the floor, which seemed to sway beneath him. “So…what? You left me and never looked back?”
“I left you with people who loved you and were capable of giving you the life I couldn’t. I knew if I was in your life, I’d only mess it up. I drove out of the state and kept going, stopping only long enough to get drunk, sleep it off, and start all over again. I came back to see you once. You were so little and happy. You had people who loved you, whose entire worlds revolved around you. Lily would have wanted you to be with Ella and Roy. I thought maybe I could beat the alcohol again, but I was too broken, and seeing you only reminded me of everything I’d lost. I was too weak, and I’ll always be sorry for that. I knew you were better off without me, so I hit a bar. I took off the next day. I drank, lived in my car, on the streets, got by however I could. And then I got sick.”
Reed pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to stave off the sinking feeling inside him.
“Your mother came to me in a dream and told me to get to a doctor.” Frank’s voice was shaky. “My guardian angel, even after everything. I went to a clinic, had a bunch of tests. Been sober six months, and they say I have a year to live, give or take. Stage four liver cancer.”
Reed closed his eyes, a pained noise escaping before he could stop it. His world had spiraled out of control, and he didn’t know what to hold on to or how to make sense of it. His real father hadn’t abandoned him after all; he’d died. Was that any better? Did his real father know his mother had been pregnant with his child? Had his mother loved the other man more than Frank? Those were questions he couldn’t ask, answers he’d never know. And Frank, this man who wasn’t his father, was dying? It hurt to breathe, to think…
He looked at Frank, a broken man living on a timeline, putting himself through this nightmare for…? “Why did you come back? Why put yourself through this?”
Frank’s gaze sank to his hands worrying nervously in his lap. “I was madly in love with your mother. I thought we’d have a lifetime together, and then all in one day, she shattered my beliefs, I lost her, and I had you, but you weren’t really mine. Not a day has passed that I haven’t thought about you and wished I were a stronger man. That’s my fault. I’m not asking for forgiveness. I’m on my way out of this world, and I’ll carry that guilt to my grave. But once I sobered up, I knew I had to find you. I wanted to apologize. She’d want you to know the truth about your history, and for you to have her things. She adored you from the very moment she found out she was pregnant. Her love for me might have waxed and waned, but not for you. Never for you. She sensed that you were a strong boy even before you were born. She said a girl wouldn’t kick that hard.” He smiled, as if he were reliving the memory. “She named you Reed the month before you were born. Said reeds were strong and had long roots that spread far and wide. She wanted you to be strong, to have roots you could count on. Roy and Ella gave you that, and I’ll be forever grateful to them for doing what I couldn’t.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
GRACE SCRUBBED THE heck out of every surface in Reed’s house. She washed the linens, made the bed, and was busy polishing Reed’s boots when she heard his truck door close. She ran down the stairs and nearly bowled him over on the front porch.
She grabbed him, searching his expression. “You’re back. Are you okay? How was it?”
He touched his lips to hers, a small smile settling into place as he lifted her wrist, eyeing the gloves she wore.
“I was polishing your boots.”
“My boots? Grace, guys don’t polish their boots.” He took her hand, and they sat on the porch steps. He set his mother’s journal beside him.
“You were so distraught when you left. I wanted to do something for you, but I didn’t know what to do in a situation like this. So I cleaned the house top to bottom. I picked flowers down by the creek to try to make the rooms seem brighter to cheer you up. And I was going to attack the attic, but I didn’t want you to think I was snooping. So I polished your boots.”
He pulled her closer. “Do you know how much I love you?” He pressed his lips to her temple. “Thank you, babe, but next time you get the urge to polish something, I’ve got a very willing body part.”
She smiled, but her worries drowned his attempt at levity. “I’ll tend to that body part after I tend to this one.” She put her hand over his heart.
He placed his hand over hers. “It’d be easier to deal with the other.”
He went on to tell her what he’d learned from Frank, and her heart broke more with each fact as it was revealed. By the time he was done, he sounded exhausted, and she was speechless. So many things that Reed had believed weren’t true. It wasn’t lost on her that Frank was in the same situation. Her heart broke for Frank as much as it did for Reed.
She climbed into his lap and held him. “I’m so sorry. But I don’t understand. You look just like the pictures of him. How could that be?”
“The world’s full of brown-haired guys, babe. He’s not my father. He seemed pretty darn sure of it.” He touched his forehead to hers and said, “Just tell me what we have is real.”
“We’re real, Reed. We’ve always been real.”
He was quiet for a long time before saying, “I went from thinking I was abandoned by my father to being an orphan. It’s going to take some time for me to come to terms with this.”
“But you’re not really an orphan. I mean, you are in one sense, but Roy and Ella adopted you, and they love you so much.”
“Absolutely. I didn’t mean to undermine everything they’ve done for me. I just meant…”
“I know what you meant, and I understand how much that must hurt. Do you think you’ll tell Roy and Ella the truth?”
He shook his head. “I’ve been trying to figure that out, but what will they gain from knowing that my mother might have loved another man who is no longer around? I’ll tell them about Frank’s illness and that he just couldn’t handle being a father after he lost my mother. I believe that’s the truth of it, anyway. I’ll never know if he would have done the same thing regardless of if I was his son or not.”
He sat up straighter, inhaling deeply as he rolled his shoulders back, as if he were searching for a comfortable position to carry this new weight. “I’d like to call them and see if I can stop by later today, get it out in the open before the barbecue tomorrow. I’d really l
ike for you to come with me.”
“Of course. I know you’ll probably have a million unanswered questions forever, but at least it sounds like Frank loved you both more than he loved himself. He did what he thought was best for your well-being, and he kept a secret for the woman he loved, despite being heartbroken.”
He looked out over the yard, and when his eyes found her again, they were softer, a little less pained. “Is it strange that I feel a connection to him? Maybe I should be angrier, but it took a lot of courage to come forward when he didn’t have to. Especially given his poor health.”
“I don’t think it’s strange. You believed he was your father your whole life, and in some ways he kind of was. He was the one taking care of your mother when she was pregnant, and in that sense, he was also taking care of you. I think you’re going to feel all sorts of things, good and bad, toward him, and maybe toward your mother, too, for a long time. It might come and go, but whatever it is, whatever it becomes, we’ll get through it.”
“Thanks, baby,” he said softly, embracing her again. He looked down at his mother’s journal and said, “Do you think it’s possible to love two people at once? Could my mother have loved Frank and this other man? Frank didn’t know his name or anything about him other than that he was a musician.”
“I don’t know,” she said honestly. “Maybe for some people? I’ve only ever been in love with one man, and nobody else has ever come close. I can’t imagine it, but…” She shrugged. “In your mother’s journal, she sure sounded like she loved Frank, and she thought of him as your father, didn’t she?”
“Yes. That’s why I asked. I can’t see things very clearly right now.”
“Don’t take this wrong, but I don’t know that it really matters. She loved one man enough to create you, and she loved another enough to make a life with him for you. That’s a lot of love for a woman who was only on this earth a short period of time.” She wound her arms around his neck and said, “I’m just glad she had you. I love you, Reed. And I’ll be here for you no matter how hard this gets.”
BY THE TIME Reed and Grace went to see Roy and Ella, Reed was in a little better place than he had been earlier. He was far from okay, but he and Grace had spent the day alternating between conversations about Frank, the Majestic, and sheer nonsense. Reed had been glad for the distractions, and for the serious conversations, too. Grace had received a call from Satchel that had put her on edge—and she was right, she was a bit whirlwindish after the call, like the Tasmanian devil, but it had endeared her to him even more. After she’d vented, Reed had swayed the conversation toward the play she was putting together with Nana and the others, and that had put her in a better mental space, too. If Reed had learned anything over the years, it was that life didn’t come without trials and tribulations. He never considered himself someone who needed anyone. But being with Grace, talking through his most intimate problems with someone who knew him so well, and being there for her when she was at her wit’s end, had him redefining the meaning of “need.”
He looked around the patio table at Roy and Grace as Ella came outside with a plate of cookies, and he realized he needed all three of the people he was with.
Ella set the plate on the table and glanced at Roy, who had been watching Reed like a hawk. Reed had told them the reason for his visit when he’d called earlier, and he knew they were waiting for him to say something about Frank.
“Your favorite,” Ella said to Reed as she took the seat between him and Roy. “Coconut cranberry.”
Grace wrinkled her nose. “I might have to rethink this relationship. What happened to chocolate chip?”
“Darlin’, if that’s his biggest downfall, you’re doing pretty well.” Roy snickered and winked at Reed.
That single wink sent Reed’s gut into a tizzy. He’d never been one for keeping secrets, and now that he was looking into his relatives’ eyes—blood-related relatives he could count on—Frank’s secret threatened to claw its way out.
“So, you went to see Frank?” Ella said as conversationally as if she’d said he’d gone to work like any other day. “I’m proud of you, honey. That couldn’t have been easy.”
Reed sat back, worrying with his hands, and realized it was exactly what Frank had done. That gave him pause, and just as quickly he realized he had to stop thinking of Frank as if he were his father, and pressed his palms to his thighs. Grace put her hand on his, as if she realized he didn’t know what to do with them.
“It was anything but easy,” he agreed, “especially since I blasted him the second I first walked in.”
Ella winced. “Oh, honey.”
Roy’s brows knitted, but he said nothing.
Reed told them about the contents of the shoe box, how upset he’d been when he’d arrived at the hotel, and finally, about Frank’s illness. “He’s not who I thought he was. Well, he is. He left me behind, but after talking with him, I’m conflicted, because I can see how losing my mother was too much for him.”
Roy’s chin fell to his chest, his eyes trained on Reed. “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. I seem to remember you taking off after you lost the love of your life, too.”
Reed glanced at Grace, the truth in Roy’s words hitting him hard.
“Love’s a powerful thing,” Roy said. “I admit, when Frank came here looking for you the other day, my first thought was to give him a world of grief. I was madder than a mouse in a hornet’s nest about him leaving you behind and showing up just that once. But then I saw him, and he looked like all his gumption had bled out.”
Reed waited for him to say more, and when he didn’t, he said, “What did you do?”
“We invited him in for tea,” Ella said carefully. “He’s punished himself for years, and he’s nearing the end of a very hard, very lonely life. What good would it have done for us to beat him down further? He knows…Instead, we gave him something to brighten the days he has left. We talked about you, Reed, and the incredible little boy you were, the inquisitive, smart young man you were, and the honorable man you’ve become. We talked about your mother, how much she loved him and how much she was looking forward to raising you. And then we thanked him for trusting us with his son.”
For the millionth time that day, Reed struggled against emotions clogging his throat. He looked at Roy and said, “You didn’t think to tell me that when you saw me after he stopped by my house?”
“Just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should.” Roy tossed another wink as he threw Reed’s words back at him.
“We didn’t want to influence the way you handled the situation,” Ella explained. “It wouldn’t have been fair. He gave us a chance at parenthood, but he took something bigger than that from you.”
Not telling them the truth about his father felt like a betrayal to the people who had always offered him unconditional love and support. But telling them felt like a betrayal to the mother he never knew and to Frank, a man who had given him clarity, honesty, and history he would probably never have learned otherwise.
He took a moment to simply breathe, which wasn’t something he felt like he’d done enough of since Frank had shown up at his house. He was adrift in a sea of emotions and truths he hadn’t been prepared for, and it seemed there were lifelines everywhere if he looked hard enough. All Frank had wanted was to tell Reed the truth before he died. But maybe Reed needed more of a relationship with him, even if Frank wasn’t his real father. He had a feeling Frank wouldn’t fight that and might even welcome it. Roy and Ella would stand by him no matter what. Even if he kept this secret, he knew they’d forgive him for it, because that’s what parents did.
Roy watched him expectantly, the ever-present father who would worry about him until the day he was no longer able. Ella had lost her sister and gained a son, and she was an incredible mother. He’d hurt for a long time over choices other people had made, and he didn’t want to hurt either of them. He was sick of hurting. For the first time ever, he no longer wondered why
his father had given him up. It was time to start healing. What healing actually meant, he wasn’t sure, but he knew that he couldn’t—that Roy and Ella couldn’t—even begin to heal if he opened a new wound.
He felt the pull of Grace’s loving gaze. The brightest lifeline of all. His sweet Gracie offered everything the others did—unconditional love, support, honesty, history, clarity—and so much more. She was his past, his present, and hopefully his future.
He took her hand in his and said, “If Frank’s visit taught me one thing, it’s that life is too short to dwell on the past or on what-ifs. I don’t know what will happen with Frank, or anything, for that matter. But I know we have tonight, the four of us, and tomorrow our families are getting together, and those are things I’ve waited a long darn time to enjoy.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
GRACE WAS MESMERIZED by Tuck Wilder, the twenty-six-year-old guitarist in Sable’s band who was auditioning for the lead role in the community play, I Ain’t No Cinderella. She’d known Tuck since they were kids. He’d had a rough life, and it showed in his cold, dark eyes as he strutted across the auditorium of No Limitz, nailing the attitude and badboy vibe for the role perfectly. They’d been holding auditions all afternoon and had already cast several of the supporting roles. If only off-Broadway plays were this easy to produce. She’d been battling with Keagen all week, and his threats to walk away from the play had the investors up in arms.
As Tuck finished his audition, Grace scribbled a few notes. He was the last audition of the day. Grace thanked him and said they’d send out email notifications for the roles as they made decisions. They had auditions booked through next Saturday evening, and she was leaving the day after that. She had a feeling they just might get the casting set by then.
“His voice inflection is perfect,” Janie said. “What does he look like?”
After Tuck left the auditorium Lauryn said, “He’s beautiful, with rich cocoa skin and soulful eyes, but he gives off a tough, edgy vibe.”
